Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Rundown: Worst Sequels Ever

So I was clicking around ShowHype this morning and came across a story that made me cringe.

Apparently, some Hollywood movie exec thinks it's a good idea to make another Boondock Saints film. Please just shoot me now.

Don't get me wrong - I love the original. What's not to love?

  • Two brothers executing bad guys in the name of the Lord
  • Billy Connolly as their unstoppable, ultra-dangerous hitman father
  • A Ron Jeremy cameo
Oh right, I remember now... TROY DUFFY!

Duffy wrote and directed the original, as he is set to do with "the sequel" and was also the subject of the documentary Overnight, a kind of reverse rags to riches tale where Duffy goes from having a $15M budget for the flick with Miramax to making the movie for far less than that and alienating everyone around him during the process.

Everybody deserves a second chance, with some obvious exceptions (Charles Manson...) but I just know that should this long-rumoured sequel actually get made, it'll destroy the legacy of a film countless people love. Kinda like the rest of the crap in today's installment of The Rundown.

Worst Sequels Ever!

5. Anything Without The Original Stars
I covered this a while back, but just to refresh your memory - if the original cast doesn't want to reprise their roles or the storyline doesn't have any tangible connection to the first film or both... pass. Seriously... pass!

4. Godfather, Part III
The movie on the whole is good. Not great like I & II, but good. The ending though? Ending it that way? C'mon! This is Don Corleone we're talking about here. You can't have it end that way... why couldn't we have just left things the way the were after Part II? Fredo's gone, Michael is the Cappo di Tutti Capi and no one wants to eff with him, Sofia Coppola doesn't make her acting debut... we didn't need this movie.

3. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Honestly, T2 was awesome. Arnold wasn't The Governator, Edward Furlong wasn't a complete waste of talent douchebag and Linda Hamilton was scary/sexy as Sarah Connor. But twelve years later, did anyone care what the hell happened to John Connor? Didn't think so...

2. Rocky V / Rocky Balboa - Double Feature Fecal Matter!
As hokey and ridiculous as Rocky IV was, we all loved it. Admit it. You loved it. I loved it too. It was a perfect culmination of Rocky's career. Hollywood pissed all over Rocky's legacy by having him manage then street fight Tommy "The Machine" Gunn in Rocky V. I refuse to comment on the hopped-up on HGH version of "The Italian Stallion" from Rocky Balboa.

1. Slap Shot 2
Slap Shot is the best sports movie ever. All the names of my fantasy hockey teams each season come from this movie - the Charlestown Chiefs, Denis Lemieux, Reg Dunlop, Old Time Hockey, Eddie Shore. It's golden! So who the hell thought it would be a good idea to bring back The Hanson's, stick'em with Stephen Baldwin, a female coach and the Harlem Globetrotters on Ice to play against? Who makes these decisions?


Brad said...

Fletch Lives
The Crow: City of Angels
American Wedding

All ruined my love for the originals.

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