The Rundown: Cool Dead People

There is this really weird trend I've noticed over the last number of years.

Any time a celebrity dies, famous people everywhere suddenly start popping up yammering incessantly about how much they loved So-And-So who just kicked the bucket.

Today, we're running down the five most instantly adored and collectively cool dead people.

Top 5 Super Cool Dead People

5. Michael Jackson

Despite the fact that he has always been "The King of Pop," before he passed this summer, the only people who would align themselves in the corner of Jackson were those who resembled the zombies around him.

Michael Jackson was poison. If you don't believe me, ask Chris Tucker. Since co-starring in Jackson's "You Rock My World" video back in 2001, the only times we've seen Chris Tucker were in his contractually pre-determined recurring role in the Rush Hour series and his mug shot from a 2005 arrest.

Now that he's dead, everyone has a story to tell about their favorite Michael Jackson song and how much they're going to miss him and what a wonderful blah blah blah blah blah.

Give it a couple more months... it'll pass.

4. Kurt Cobain

Consider this a preemptive strike, as the Cobain remembrance celebration hasn't officially kicked off as of yet. But trust me, it will.

How do I know this? Simple - a movie is in the works. As of last reports (read: rumors) way back in March, Canadian Ryan Gosling was in the lead to play the suicidal singer of the band that begrudgingly brought grunge to the masses back at the start of the '90s.

If a movie does come out, expect the "I miss Kurt so much" madness to begin en masse, despite the fact that no one outside of my man Newt has held a conversation with me about him in close to five years. He's off the Pop Culture grid, but not for long...

3. Marilyn Monroe

Here are the facts: Marilyn Monroe was sexy, banged JFK and sang him that naughty version of Happy Birthday with his wife sitting next to him, easily one of the most awesomely awkward moments in the history of the world... if you're JFK.

Did you see me mention anywhere in their that she was a dynamite actress? Nope, because she wasn't, yet millions upon millions of young starlets talk about how they idolize Marilyn and want to follow in her footsteps.

You mean with the dying way too young and being immortalized by Elton John until he can re-record the song and cash in again when someone else of note dies?

If you want to be a great actress and pattern yourself after someone from that time, at least pick someone from that era with actual chops like Shelley Winters, she of the two Oscars and countless accolades.

Otherwise, you're simply picking the awesomely dead pretty girl that everyone adores for no reason other than everyone adores her. Seriously - do you think anyone born after 1980 can name three Marilyn Monroe movies?

2. Ray Charles

Hear me out: while his dead-cred is no longer riding high, the singer's death sparked a biopic that earned Jamie Foxx an Oscar and somehow, despite no one having mentioned the album all year prior to his passing, Charles' Genius Loves Company cleaned up at the Grammy Awards.

Rolling Stone Magazine listed him at #10 on the 100 Greatest Artists of All-Time. 10!

Sad that I know this off-hand, but the horribly bad joke in She's All That where the two popular artsy girls tell Rachel Leigh Cook's character that she should kill herself because her art will be appreciated more post-humously is kind of true...

Dying gets you fans!

1. Johnny Cash

With Ray at #2, you had to assume The Man in Black would be topping the charts.

For the ten years before Johnny Cash died, not once had I heard anyone my age mention their affinity for his music, including the hundreds of country music fans I grew up around in the horse racing business.

Hell, they needed an explanation when the champion horse one year was named "A Stud Named Sue" because they had no idea where it came from. That how little Johnny Cash had registered.

He started earning some cred with his remake of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt," but shit took off when he stopped breathing.

Everyone was a massive Johnny Cash fan. Walk the Line won awards galore and people everywhere were singing Cash at karaoke, though it was almost always "Ring of Fire."

But now, time has passed and so has the adoration.

New celebrities are coming up dead every day, ready to become super popular again and reignite their fame from the grave.

Who will be next?

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The Rundown: Sneaky Hot

Obvious beauty is just that - obvious.

We all know why legions of young men drool over Megan Fox and countless women wish that George Clooney would decide to settle down with them, if only for a night.

They're the textbook definitions of hotness and no one is debating that fact.

Personally, as much as I'm a fan of each of those individuals - yes, both of them; Clooney is a good-looking bastard and I'm okay with admitting it - I'm even more a fan of those who are Sneaky Hot.

What is Sneaky Hot, you ask?

It's those people who have a definite appeal, but don't necessarily jump to mind right away when someone asks, "Who is the hottest person on the face of the Earth?" Keep reading if you need examples.

The Sneaky Hot Rundown

5. Patrick Dempsey

Dr. Derek "McDreamy" Sheperd has always been a good-looking guy and he's a perfect example of someone who is sneaky hot.

He doesn't have the "make your boyfriend mad" looks / cockiness combination of co-star Eric Dane's Mark "McSteamy" Sloan, but he's got good hair, a soft voice and a confidence about him that makes a large number of ladies wish they needed brain surgery.

4. Jenna Fischer

If you watch The Office, you know her as Pam. If you don't watch The Office but have a wife who subscribes to Self, you know her as "Holy Shit! That chick from The Office is sneaky hot!"

The truth about Jenna Fischer's covert hotness came out in the horrible Blades of Glory, where she slutted it up a little as the sister of Will Arnett and Amy Poehler's all-too-close sibling skaters.

Now, the truth is very much out there, so while "Pam" may be sitting around in frumpy blouses that show off about as much as a moron at a church gathering, Jenna's got herself a nice little figure and a place on many a man's Sneaky Hot list.

3. Lauren Graham

Yes, Lorelai Gilmore is on the Sneaky Hot list and if you have a problem with it, go rent Bad Santa and call me in the morning.

Personally, I think it's the smirk. There's something a little bit naughty behind that coy little smile... and I like it.

2. Aaron Eckhart

If you can pull off both the long-haired, fully-bearded biker dude with the heart of gold named George in Erin Brockovich and the sharp-dressed, killer-grin-flashing fast-talking Nick Naylor in Thank You For Smoking, you win.

Eckhart is the quintessential Sneaky Hot guy; good-looking, but not a model, funny, charming and seems like a cool enough guy that we'd let him talk to our girlfriend / wife without thinking anything of it...

Until they run off to Maui together the smooth bastard.

1. Tina Fey

Yes, the picture gave it away. I don't care. Tina Fey is the epitome of sneaky hot.

The first thing you say about her isn't something about her looks; it's that she's funny. In fact, her looks might not even be in the Top 5 other than a remark about that scar on her cheek she acquired as a child.

But underneath the funny and the 30 Rock and the scar and the dead-on Sarah Palin impersonations, Tina Fey is a little pocket rocket of Sneaky Hot goodness.

Who makes your Sneaky Hot list?

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The Rundown: I Used to Love Them

Remember that musician or group you used to really loved until all of a sudden they became the bane of your existence?

Everybody has them; bands that you couldn't get enough of that now make you think about jamming a screwdriver in your ear every time you hear one of their songs.

That's what we're talking about in today's Rundown.

Top 5 Musical Acts I Used to Love , But Now... Not So Much

5. The Black Eyed Peas

They're pictured for a reason, people and the photo couldn't be more apropos.

Will.I.Am and little Ms. Fergie Ferg are pretty much the only members of the band who do anything meaningful, while Taboo and apl.de.ap hang out in the background, cast aside and forgotten, just like the street cred they used to have.

Seriously, back when they began, with track like "Joints and Jams" and "Weekends" featuring Esthero, I loved me some BEP. But since Fergie came into the picture? Non-stop commercial nonsense

I gotta feeling alright - if I hear that song again, my feeling is that I'll barf on the spot.

4. Pearl Jam

Man, this one just depresses me.

Pearl Jam was so effin' awesome when they first came out, it would have been nearly impossible for them to keep it up all this time. As we all know - perhaps not, I shouldn't assume - they couldn't keep up the awesomeness and fell into Binaural / Riot Act period.

Thankfully, their new single "The Fixer" is winning me back over and they should be removed from this list in the future.

3. Nickelback

While it might embarrass some to admit they once liked Nickelback, I'm man enough to say I once did. "Leader of Men" is a great tune.

The first time I heard "How You Remind Me" I absolutely loved it and made everyone I know listen to it whenever it came on. Two weeks later, it was always on.

Nine years later - NINE YEARS PEOPLE - they're still always on the radio and their songs still annoy the bejesus out of me. Change it up already.

2. Bon Jovi

Remember when Bon Jovi was a rock band? Yeah, I miss those days too.

"Living on a Prayer" and "Wanted: Dead or Alive" are still chart very highly on my all-time favorites list, but have you heard there newer stuff? Count yourself lucky if you haven't.

Nothing like going "New Country" in your old age...

1. Eminem

Seriously - whiteboy was transcendent when he first burst onto the scene with The Slim Shady LP.

When no one thought he could follow it up, he deliver The Marshall Mathers LP and smashed everyone with track like "The Way I Am" and "Stan" that were just too damn good for anyone to ignore. Since then, it's been nothing but nonsense.

While previous efforts always featured one "funny" Eminem song - tracks like "My Name Is" and "The Real Slim Shady" - they were always followed up and surrounded by strong efforts that may not have been as commercially-viable, but carried weight with fans.

Now all we get is garbage like "Just Lose It" and "We Made You."

I ask this with all sincerity: Will The Real Slim Shady please stand up?

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The Rundown: Countdown to Victoria

Now that we've found a place and confirmed moving dates with the the guys who are hauling our stuff to the island, all that is left to do is pack and think about all the things I'm looking forward to with this move to Victoria.

While I'm certainly going to miss aspects of life here in Kimberley, the simple truth of the matter is that despite my one year sabbatical to the quiet outdoors of British Columbia, I'm a city boy at heart and Victoria has more of what I'm looking for.

What are those things? Keep reading because they're the topic of today's Rundown.

Top 5 Things I'm Looking Forward to About Victoria

5. SUSHI
I don't think I can say this enough - I love sushi!

As much as the drive to Fernie makes for a nice evening out with the wife, spending three hours in the car to enjoy my favorite food just isn't worth it. Instead of having sushi once in a blue moon, we'll be able to walk around the corner and pick up dinner whenever we want.

Fast food will be a thing of the past; sushi will replace all on-the-fly meals and that is absolutely awesome.

4. BEST FRIEND FOR LUKE
This may sound silly to some, but since we aren't at the "having kids" stage of life, Cool Hand Luke gets treated like our child and everyone wants their kids to have friends.

With this move, the little puggy bastard will have a built in best friend right upstairs. The little ball of energy will be able to hop out into our fenced backyard and hang out with Chili, our landlord's pug.

While we'll certainly still play "The Bite Game" and go for some marathon walks to tire him out, it's going to be real nice to just open the door and let him expend some energy without having to stop everything to entertain the dog.

3. COVERING LIVE MMA EVENTS
In addition to making a long weekend out of the UFC's proposed trip to Vancouver this coming summer, Victoria is home to Armageddon Fighting Championships.

Being able to get out and cover events in person will be a great way for me to continue my development as an MMA writer and foster some new relationships within the industry.

Maybe the newspaper will be interested in having someone cover these events for them...

2. BETTER OPPORTUNITIES FOR SARAH
I love my jobs and I want the same for my wife.

Right now, she hates work and it's making her question her chosen career path. That makes me angry.

Hopefully, this move to a bigger and better hospital with actual opportunities for growth and improvement, not to mention support and stronger management, will result in a renewed faith in her abilities as a nurse and a long and fruitful career of helping others.

1. CIVILIZATION
Shopping. Restaurants. Museums. Movie Theatres.

Nothing personal Kimberley, but having a choice between buying my clothes at Wal-Mart, Zellers or Superstore just doesn't cut it for me.

I need a place with malls and stores and more than four restaurants and a big-ass movie theatre that shows all the new movies and museums and Chapters and Starbucks...

You get the point.

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The Rundown: Hidden Gems

There is a show returning to the airwaves tonight on Fox called Glee that I'm very pumped to watch. It has all the makings of an incredibly funny show and really, in the era of Reality television, good shows are hard to find.

What has me most excited about this show is the presence of Jane Lynch, who some will recognize from The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Role Models. Without a doubt, she is one of the funniest women out there.

But because so many people are now devoted to pseudo-television like The Bachelor, The Amazing Race and garbage like The Hills, a quality show like Glee could go somewhat undetected by a large portion of the population, landing it in the Hidden Gems category.

Here are five other personal favorites that fit the same bill.

Top Five Hidden Gems

5. Outkast's Aquemini
Before "Ms. Jackson" and Stankonia put Outkast on everyone's radar, their third album Aquemini was an absolute classic.

Loaded with lyrical gems and more funky beats than you know what to do with, Andre 3000 and Big Boi dropped a bomb on the world before they were dropping them over Baghdad.

The best of the bunch is "Skew it on the Bar-B," a quick-hitting Organized Noise creation featuring Raekwon on the second verse.

4. Sleepers
All it should take to get you to watch this movie is a look at the cast assembled in this brilliant flick about revenge:

Brad Pitt, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Bacon, Jason Patric, Minnie Driver, Billy Crudup and the late Brad Renfo all deliver outstanding performances in Barry Levinson's surprisingly-slept on story of four friends from Hell's Kitchen.

Go to Blockbuster or wherever you rent movies and find it... you can thank me later.

3. The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green by Joshua Braff
While I picked up the book upon recommendation of a friend and because the author is the older brother of Zach Braff, the reasons I love this book extend way beyond the fraternal relationship the author has with the star of Scrubs.

This book had me laughing out loud and on the verge of tears as I read the story of young Jacob Green, a Jewish kid trying to figure out life and himself.

Let me put it this way: I loved this book so much, I've been painfully waiting for the last five years for another offering from the elder Braff.

2. Garden State Soundtrack
Yes, I love the movie and recommend it to anyone as well, but a ton of people know about it and I've told anyone I know who didn't already, so including the film would be pointless.

The soundtrack, however, is another story altogether. Soundtracks often get overlooked when they don't have some massive billboard smash on them. That fate befell this gem, but I'm not complaining.

It is the perfect accompaniment for a long drive, as there are up-tempo tunes and mellow moments as well, including tracks from Coldplay, Zero 7, Colin Hay and The Shin, who will, of course, change your life.

1. A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
This movie was such a surprise to me that I immediately bought a copy from Blockbuster and routinely fall asleep watching it on nights when Sarah is at work.

Divided into two times - present and past - the younger stars pull as much weight, if not more, than the adult stars of the film, and that's saying a lot when you're up against Robert Downey Jr., Rosario Dawson, Chazz Palminteri and Dianne Wiest.

But Shia LaBeouf, Martin Compston, and Melonie Diaz all shine. The performance Channing Tatum puts forth as "Antonio" will show you why many believe he is one the most talented young actors in Hollywood today.

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The Rundown: Welcome to Frustration

For no real discernible reason, I've been kind of on edge and grumpy the last little while.

It seems like all kinds of little thing evoke a stronger reaction than normal and I more and more things bug me than ever did before.

Why? I don't know. Just a cycle I'm in I suppose.

As such, I thought I'd let you know the things that fire me up the most these days, you know, so you'll known how to push my buttons.

Top Five Frustrations

5. Mispronouncing the Word Frustration
Yes, I'm a bit of a stickler for this stuff because I spend a great deal of my days dealing with words and language, but c'mon people.

How you get "fustration" is about as ridiculous as saying "libary" or "axing" me a question. There are more than enough challenging words in the world for everyone to mispronounce (myself very much included) that we don't need to butcher some basics.

4. Complainers
This one is a bit dicey, because I've been known to do my own fair share of whining. I'm working on it though, one day at a time like rehab.

Too bad more people couldn't do the same.

One of the things that I've come to learn in the last few years of bouncing around the country, rocking bad jobs and making no money is that if you're unhappy with your situation, you have two options: change it or shut up.

If you don't want to work to improve your lot in life, I don't want to hear about how crappy your career, marriage, kids or anything else are.

3. Bugs
This one is completely petty and there is nexct to nothing I can do to change it, but they still make me mental.

We've been trying to get out and about more lately, enjoying Sarah's slack-ass August along with the sunshine and surroundings, but everywhere we go, bugs follow. And not just a couple flies here and there.

I'm a walking wasp magnet; the little fuckers won't leave me alone. Not when we were camping and not when we hit up the lake yesterday with the mongrel. Totally open to suggestions if anyone has some.

2. The North American Obsession with Fake Stars and Dead Stars
Why in the world is the media still talking about Michael goddamn Jackson? Dude has been dead for like six weeks now... let him be.

Jon and Kate's every move does not need to be reported on CNN, nor do the daily lives of Octomom, murderous Reality TV "stars" and countless pseudo-celebrities who get more airplay than people who actually make a difference in the world.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to live in the Middle of Nowhere, New Zealand or someplace like that, where no one gives two shits about any of this ridiculousness... provided they have the Internet.

1. Elitists
Yes, this is pretty general, but I can sum it up for you like this:

Despite what you think, you're not really better than everyone because you have money / went to a certain school / are of a certain race / have more experience at something arbitrary and if you think you are, people like me will take pleasure in reminding you that it is not the case.

This one transferred over to mixed martial arts today on Keyboard Kimura, as some fans think they're better, more real fans than others. How is that even possible?

Consider yourself appropriately warned.

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The Rundown: You Call Yourself a Man?

"A man's got to do what a man's got to do."

Now, this certainly was intended to serve as an inspiration for me to come up with a list of five things all guys have to do to officially be considered one of the guys in my books, but hey, it's my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want with random movie quotes.

Before anyone gets all uppity about me crafting a list of things guys must do to be guys and wonders who put me in charge, I haven't even completed all the things on my own list, so it's not like I'm trying to align myself as some kind of Alpha Male, greater than the rest of you.

I'm clearly a Beta Male, but I'm working at changing my Greek letter and you should too.

Five Absolute Male Musts

5. Read I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
The grinning weasel opening this piece is Tucker Max, blogger and writer, whose collection of stories pulled from his website forms the book that is now a movie and an absolute must for all men.

You think you've been an asshole to chicks? You think you've done some stupid shit in your day? You think you're drinking buddies have the best stories around? Think again.

Tucker Max and his stable of sobriety-challenged sidekicks are the biggest dicks, doing the dumbest shit, passing along the most startling stories known to man and you have to read them.

4. Have At Least One Horrible Strip Club Story
See, this one automatically eliminates all the guys out there who "hate" the strip club and find them disgusting. Not that they aren't, but we've all had a least one retarded night inside the dimly lit den of deviousness.

Whether it's spending too much money because you spent too much time with "Candy" or "Porsche" in the VIP or choking on a two dollar coin like my friend Emilio did on his 19th birthday, you have to have a horrible strip club story.

It's a prerequisite.

3. Vegas Baby, Vegas
Anyone who calls it cliche is probably in the same boat as me and never been to Vegas. Like I said, I know I'm no Alpha Male, but I'm working on it.

You don't have to be a big-time gambler or looking to craft a personal version of The Hangover; but c'mon... it's Vegas. You have to go at least once.

The UFC is going to be my excuse in the not-too-distant future, as a quick three day dash to cover an event will (a) cross this one off my list and (b) offer few opportunities to loss copious amounts of cash at the tables, since I'll be working.

Email me if you're interested. We'll get something put together.

2. The Godfather
You can skip the third installment if you like, but you have to have watched the first two in their entirety at least once in the last five years.

With the glut of absolutely horrible movies that have come into this world and the hundreds of chick flicks you've undoubtedly submitted yourself to over the years, watching brilliance on your television at least once every five years is a must.

And don't tell me that Scarface is better either. Scarface is good, The Godfather (Parts I and II) are classic.

1. Break a Bone
I don't trust any man who has never broken a bone. Maybe that is ridiculous, but hey, that's me.

At my age, I don't know how you could go through 30 years of this adventure we call life without breaking even one tiny little bone. I'm not even talking about major damage like broken legs or arms or anything; break your pinkie catching football wrong and we're good.

I might even allow a cracked rib to pass, since I know firsthand how much that shit hurts. Thanks again for letting me enjoy that experience, Pistol. You're the best brother a guy could have.

Outside of the Vegas thing, I'm set. Just don't expect me to share the horrible Strip Club stories with you here... the wife reads this thing people and some things are better left unsaid.

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The Rundown: Fighting Favorites

I realized on the way home from work tonight that for all the time I spend talking about MMA on this site, I've never dropped a Rundown centered around the one thing outside of Sarah that my life is actually centered around.

How do I go well-over 500 posts without dropping the most easy-to-put-together list I could ever imagine? Well, no one ever said I was the smartest...

So after way too long a delay, let's get into the five fighters I'd fight you to the death over in today's Rundown.

All-Time Top 5 Favorite Fighters

5. Forrest Griffin
One of the winners from Season 1 of The Ultimate Fighter, Griffin will be the first to tell you that he's not that great of a fighter. He doesn't have a dominant skill like many guys these days and isn't going to knock you into next week with one shot any time soon.

What he does have is tremendous heart and drive. He beats guys he shouldn't beat and does it with a goofy smile on his big-eared face.

As of late, Griffin has been shooting up my rankings with his numerous comedic appearances in video segments, like the one where he tried selling copies of his book at Borders and his earnest assessment of things on UFC Countdown.

4. George St-Pierre
Canadian, dominant in almost every facet of the game and a tremendous ambassador for the sport, GSP is the face of the UFC and deserving of the role.

Additionally, he earns high marks in my books for his attire; while others rock horrific Affliction t-shirts with skulls and daggers and glitter, GSP sports a suit and looks crisp all the time.

What? You thought I stopped be a fashion guy all of a sudden?

3. Miguel Torres
The WEC Bantamweight champion is supremely confident and with good reason: sitting at 37-1 heading into his fight this weekend, Torres hasn't been beaten in nearly six years.

Torres goes a thousand every second of every round until the fight is over and throws out some crazy moves from time to time. Not many guys try a rolling kick ever, not to mention in a title fight against an undefeated opponent.

Best of all, Torres has a super mullet. Seriously. Google him. It's awesome in a "it's so bad it's good" kind of way.

2. Royce Gracie
The man who got me hooked on the sport and taught me that in Brazilian "R" is pronounced like an "H" is an absolute legend and will always be the best ever to fight in the UFC in my books.

Watching him submit guys over and over during those early UFC tournaments was simply unbelievable. as was his epic battle with "The Gracie Killer" Kazushi Sakuraba back in 2000.

We marvel at guys who fight 15 or 25 minute wars; those two went 90 minutes... just incredible.

1. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
Three words: Ricardo Arona Powerbomb.

It's going to be very hard for me to ever select something else as my all-time favorite knockout and it's going to be equally hard to knock Rampage off the top of my list.

Not only is he a dominant fighter, the dude is a video blog goldmine. Whether it's picking fights with Mo Lawal, playing bag-tag his omnipresent wingman Tiki Ghosn and Dana White or whatever, Rampage never ceases to make me laugh.

Then he goes in the ring, let's out his trademark howl and gets to "whippin' that ass" as he would say.

What's not to like?

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The Rundown: Forecasting the Future

The last week has been insane on a number of levels for me, and has gotten me thinking about the future a great deal.

Not the future like "Will we ever get to have flying cars like the Jetson's?" or "What if we really do live in The Matrix?" but more in a sense of the direction my life is heading and all that good stuff.

You would think a guy who spends a combined six hours a day (most days) sitting at his computer in basketball shorts writing and playing UFC Undisputed wouldn't have much to think about, but you'd be wrong.

Why would you go and think something like that about me in the first place? Do you want to hurt my feelings? Just kidding ...

Five Future Thoughts Dominating My Thinking

5. There Are Better Jobs Than This, Right?
Slugging away at a restaurant at an uninhabited ski resort over the summer isn't really proving to be the most rewarded experience life has to offer. But in the last couple years, these are the only kind of jobs that have been coming my way.

Between Blockbuster, Montana's and Kelsey's, I've been a chain store chump for the last couple years and I'm starting to think it's all I'm cut out for. I don't want to be wearing crappy uniforms and slinging mediocre food you can get at any one of 47 other chain restaurants a year from now...

4. What I Want to be Doing is Getting Paid to Write
Why else do you think I spend six hours a day sitting at this here computer, pounding away on the keys, writing blog posts and articles and chapters for my still-unaccepted-by-an-agent book that would be literary gold?

As much as there have been some breakthroughs and progress in the last month or so (cool interviews, offers to cover events), there still isn't anyone willing to put my name on a bi-weekly piece of paper that says how much money they just turned over to Sarah on my behalf.

Hopefully, someone will start doing that in the next year or so.

3. Kids?
Let's face it: I ain't gettin' any younger.

Sorry, I just always wanted to say that because, well, it's one of the most ridiculous routinely-used phrases out there. No one is getting any younger, so just stop saying it.

Anywho, I've always said I didn't want to be too old to play with my kids and by play, I don't mean fall asleep in the chair at 6:00 pm so they can draw on me in permanent markers. I mean get out there and whip their asses at basketball, coach their soccer teams (though I have no stategic knowledge of soccer whatsoever) and do the fun things my old man did when I was growing up.

Clearly, I've been thinking about this a little. Don't worry - Sarah knows.

2. Being from "Parts Unknown" is Getting Tired
At Kelsey's, your name tag is supposed to have your hometown underneath your name. Mine says, "Parts Unknown." That's what happens when you've live in three provinces over a span of six months when you start a new job that wants your hometown on your name tag.

Though it's an easy way to spark a conversation with my tables - who then see how charming and entertaining I am, not to mention a terrific server, thereby tipping me more - I'm really, really ready to find a city, settle down and start getting down to taking care of #3 if you know what I mean.

That's why I'm so jacked up about this potential (read: probable) Victoria move. It offers all the things we're looking for, puts us closer to some of our family and has been discussed as the final destination in the whirlwind travels of Sarah & Spencer.

1. Sarah
Tell me you didn't know this was coming?

While I do spend a bunch of time just thinking about my beautiful wife and wondering what she's doing, a lot of the thoughts as of late have been about making her life better, which is where #2 really comes into play.

Her job sucks, the hospital sucks and it's making her doubt herself and that isn't cool with me. She's a terrific nurse and has proven that before, only to have this poorly-run hospital crush her spirit and make her question whether she even really wants to be a nurse at all.

I know she does and I know all she needs is the right environment to be successful and happy. My goal is to provide said environment in any way I can, whether it's moving to Victoria or making a killer dinner.

See? I got a lot on my mind...

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The Rundown: My Favorite Mistakes

So it turns out I screwed up yesterday on Keyboard Kimura.

After getting up and reading some credible sources reports of the death of MMA fighter Kimo Leopoldo, I wrote about the lasting image and memories I will have of Kimo now that he's gone.

Turns out he wasn't dead. Yikes ...

A mistake? Absolutely, but not even close to one of my best. Those are captured here for your enjoyment in today's edition of The Rundown.

Top 5 Mistakes in the Life of E. Spencer Kyte

5. Becoming a Slot Supervisor
I had the best part time job in the world, working as a Slot Attendant back in Barrie. Basically, I worked three or four times a week for eight hours, walked home with at least $100 every day and had zero responsibility.

Instead of continuing to ride the Gravy Train, I took a promotion and while the base pay was far greater, so too were the responsibilities and the undeclared, cash money in my pocket went the way of the dinosaur. While my friends were buying flat screens and cars and houses, I was broke and working twice as hard.

4. French 102 - Final Grade: F-
Not only did I fail, I failed miserably, earning a 32% in the equivalent of Grade 10 French.

Now, that wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't taken Grade 10 French in high school and earned a B+. It's also kind of incredible that I managed to fail so impressively when my grandmother is a retired French teacher who used to speak French with us on a regular basis.

Let this be an indication to all that an 8:30 class Thursday morning is a very bad choice when Wednesday night is the killer night at the campus pub.

3. Guess What? I Bought a House!
Seriously, who buys a house with someone six months into the relationship? Answer: me, apparently.

Despite the fact that I was broke and knew that buying a house was a completely ridiculous idea, I still did it anyway because, well, I used to be a moron. Four months later, the relationship frizzled and we were left with an already under construction house that we needed to resolve.

Once again, people with no money should not be allowed to put themselves in positions where great amounts of money might be needed.

2. My University Career as a Whole
I should have known things were going to be bad when my first choice as a major (English) was mocked horribly by my parents, the people paying for said higher education.

Not only was I going into a program I had no real passion for, we all should have known that there was no way I was maintaining the 80% average needed to continue in the program. I got bounced after one year. The following year I got tossed from the university as a whole.

Though I went back and smashed out my degree - with exceptional grade upon my return, thankyouverymuch - my degree in Psychology with a minor in Human Resource Management isn't really helping my career as a writer in the same ways that say, I dunno, an English degree would.

1. Leaving the Casino
Long story short - me and the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation parted ways on not so happy terms. This left me broke, unemployed and very, very scared.

After a brief tour of duty at Home Depot, a close friend offered me the opportunity to run his bar and I took it. Three months into the job, this girl with the most incredible eyes I've ever seen came in looking for work and we hired her.

Nearly three years later, she still has the most incredible eyes I've ever seen and she's helped me straighten out my mixed up life.

If I hadn't left the casino, I never would have met my wife.

Funny how life works sometimes ....

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The Rundown: Have You Seen Him?

Last week, The Rundown was loaded up with ladies who were once everywhere and are currently nowhere to be found. Seriously, when is the last time you saw Rachel Leigh Cook?

As promised, this week's installment switches sexes and looks at the guys who have gone AWOL. Fittingly enough, another She's All That alum is leading us off.

Top Five Male Disappearing Acts

5. Freddie Prinze Jr.
Much like the lady who played Laney, Prinze was everywhere during the She's All That / Summer Catch / Scooby-Doo days and now, ghost. His most memorable turn in the past few years probably was his guest spot as a male nanny on Friends, and that was seven years ago. Sadly, he's coming back, joining the cast of 24 for the 2010 season.

4. Cuba Gooding Jr.
Everything was going great. Good roles were coming in. Then came the Oscars and Rod Tidwell's acceptance speech. Since then you've got Rat Race, Boat Trip, so many straight-to-DVD releases they could fill an entire wall at Blockbuster. Let this be a lesson to actors everywhere: if you win an Oscar, don't act a fool or else you'll end up being Cuba's co-star in Daddy Day Camp 2.

3. Joaquin Phoenix
I know where he's gone - CRAZY! Consider this more of a "Get your ass back here and quit being all weird" than a "Whatever happened to?" type moment. Easily one of the best actors of this generation, Rivers' little brother decided earlier in the year to pack it in, grow a ridiculous beard and become the worst rapper ever, as if the world needs more shitty rappers and less great actors.

2. Everyone From N Synce Not Named Timberlake
These guys collectively are the new Andrew Ridgeley. You know - the other guy from WHAM! with George Michael. These four schleps are the modern equivalent. Let's see what they've done since JT left town:

• Joey Fatone (or Fat One as I call him) - hosted a crappier, now canceled version of Don't Forget the Lyrics
• JC Chasez - one decent single (Blowin' Me Up) and a role as a judge on America's Best Dance Crew
• Lance Bass - gleaning notoriety from his sexual preference and not going into space.
• Chris Kirkpatrick - Praying Justin wants to do a reunion tour.

Note to all groups with one super-talented member: keep them around or fade into oblivion.

1. Diddy

Whether you call him Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy or any of the 47 other names he's used, you might have a hard time calling him since he's seemingly disappeared. There was a point when you couldn't escape him. He was Making the Band, opening restaurants, taking over the fashion world with Sean John and producing hits left, right and center. Now I can't tell you the last time I saw Diddy on a magazine cover or on television. Where'd you go, Diddy?

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The Rundown: Fallen Off the Face of the Earth

I'm not the only one who has fallen off the face of the Earth and at least I have a good excuse.

While I've been off hammering away on the MMA side of my career aspirations, these five females in today's Rundown were all on the cusp of greatness or plastered everywhere at one point not that long ago and then... POOF!

And don't worry - the male equivalent of this list will appear next week. I'm not just looking for an excuse to put a pretty face on the front of my blog.

Top Five Female Disappearing Acts

5. Rachel Leigh Cook
Our cover girl was everywhere at one point in the late 90's to early 2000's, starring in like 497 movies and making appearances on Dawson's Creek. Now, most of those movies were complete crap and mindless sludge that continues to be shown in heavy rotation on the channel formerly known as TBS, but the real-life version of RLC is nowhere to be found.

4. Vanessa Carlton
Her melodic brand of piano pop hit the airwaves like a refreshing freight train back around the same time as Michelle Branch. I remember because I thought they were the same person at one point. But while Branch has gone on to success with The Wreckers (check'em out, they're solid), Carlton hooked up with that guy from Third Eye Blind and vanished, kind of like Third Eye Blind. Coincidence?

3. Helen Hunt
She had a string of successes, including an Oscar nod for As Good As It Gets and I would have bet money on her continuing in that pattern without missing a beat. Instead, she hasn't done much of anything and I miss her.

2. Lauryn Hill
Remember The Fugees? It was Wyclef, that guy you can't remember (Pras) and L-Boogie. She dropped The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill and it was one of the best albums ever made. Then... gone. She resurfaced amid crazy rumors and a brief appearance with The Fugees at Dave Chappelle's Block Party, but other than that, nada. I miss you Ms. Lauryn... please come back and don't be crazy no more.

1. Jennifer Lopez
Remember when J-Lo was everywhere? Like, literally everywhere. Magazine covers, top of the charts, box office successes. Before the world got hooked on The Goslin's and Brangelina, everyone wanted Bennifer. Now, she's married to Rat Boy Marc Anthony, had some kids and somewhat vanished and I think the world is a better place for it.

Who should make the men's list? Let me know in the comments section.

Sorry I had abandoned you...

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The Rundown: While I Wait

I actually did it.

Yesterday afternoon, I sat at this computer and sent off 13 query emails to literary agencies to see if they were interested in being interested in my book. Now, I wait.

If you know me at all, you know that patience isn't one of my virtues. In fact, I think I've written about my ridiculous lack of said virtue here before. That means this next six to eight week stretch is going to be awful trying and I apologize to Sarah in advance for being a neurotic jackass who checks his email 497 additional times a day (for a grand total of 872) just in case someone got back to me.

Clearly, I'm going to need things to occupy my time. I'll run them down after the jump...


Top 5 Distractions to Keep Me From Checking My Email

5. Freecell
I've actually started with this one and have racked up 10 consecutive wins - without "undoing" a bunch of shitty moves to help myself either. I can usually get through four or five games before I am bored and itching to check Hotmail, so this one will be the early morning / late at night distraction.

4. Work
I never thought I would say this, but thankfully I have to be at Kelsey's a great deal over the next month. If I'm there than I can't be here checking my email. Of course, I have my phone synced up to my email account and I can certainly check it there, but hopefully I'll be too busy to remember.

3. Luke
The little tyrant is going to be getting walked and wrestled with more than he had ever imagined in the next couple weeks. A trip out with Cool Hand Luke can last 30 minutes easy and far more if we go for an "off the leash" trek somewhere, while "The Bite Game" is another solid 15 minutes of pre-occupation for the both of us. Any time I'm not in this chair is time I'm not checking my Inbox.

2. Writing
I know - if I'm writing, I'm sitting at the computer and that is like leaving a case of beer in front of an alcoholic. I get that, but I also know that a lot of the time when I sit down to write, I lose myself in what I am doing and nothing else matters. Besides, the more time I spend writing, the more months I can knock off the "Completed manuscript can be submitted within..." section of the proposal and something tells me a quick turnaround will help sell this book.

1. Reading
I can't believe I haven't read a single book since we've been back from the Dominican. Not one. Granted, the only bookstore around seems to carry absolutely nothing of value or interest and I doubt the Kimberley library is packed with titles I'm looking for, but still. I gotta get my hands on Forrest Griffin's Got Fight? and go from there. Anyone interested in helping preserve my sanity who would like to ship it to me, drop me a line and I'll get you the address.

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The Rundown: Can't Miss Movies

Every year there are loads of movies that get hyped up beyond belief that I have no interest in seeing. A few of them from this summer season have already came and went without getting a penny from me.

Terminator Salvation and Land of the Lost come to mind off the top of my head, and while everyone tells me Star Trek is awesome, I'm not paying to see it. That's just me.

That being said, we're midway through June and there are a number of Summer movies still set to roll into theatres that could make me part with a few of my hard earned - well, earned - dollars. I'll run them down for you after the jump...


Top 5 Must-See Summer Movies

5. Transformers: Rise of the Fallen
What can I say? I want to see what bad-ass creations Michael Bay & Co. have come up with for the second time around. The story is bound to be a little lame and Megan Fox will surely be little more than eye candy for fanboys everywhere, but the new Autobots and Decepticons are worth a couple bucks in my books.

4. Public Enemies
The story of John Dillinger with Johnny Depp playing the man himself. Need I say more?

3. Funny People
I've been looking forward to this one for a while and see it as a chance for Adam Sandler to redeem himself in my books. Playing an actual human after stupidity like The Zohan, Sandler leads a great comedic cast in this Judd Apatow flick centered around a stand-up comedian (Sandler) who finds out he has a year to live. It'll be nice to see Apatow do more grown up funny for the first time.

2. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
This is where I get my fanboy on! As a kid, I had 4,386 G.I. Joe figures and played with them religiously, in the backyard, in the living room, in the bathtub, everywhere. Seeing my favorite Real American Hero come to life on screen - and starring my boys Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon Levitt no less - is definitely worth spending some tip money.

1. The Hurt Locker
I just saw the trailer for this a couple nights back and I'm enthralled. Normally, I'm not a big Iraq war movie guy - they all seem too heavy-handed for me - but this one looks too good to miss. I'm a huge fan of Jeremy Renner, the lead actor who played the bad guy in SWAT and kills it on The Unusuals and while reviews can often be horribly wrong, too many bright people have called this film remarkable for me to miss it.

What flicks are you looking forward to? Drop your Must-See Movies in the comments section...

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I've Just Been Handed An Urgent Announcement...

No, not cannonball... just that The Rundown has been preempted today for something different.

Don't fret: your favorite Wednesday blog post will be back stronger than ever this time next week, I'm just not feeling it today.

Instead, we're sticking to the theme from yesterday with a little more insight into what makes me tick as a writer right now.


As much as I'm loving the blogging both here and at Kimura, the biggest project around right now is my book proposal. Yes, after years of speculation and telling myself and anyone who would listen that I'm going to write a book, I've actually gotten down to business and am starting to get somewhere.

In case I haven't ever mentioned it fully - and a little for legal reasons so that if someone steals the idea along the way I have legions of followers who can attest to the concept being mine ages ago - let me tell you a little about the book.

The Rules of Engagement: A Guys Guide to Getting Married is a guidebook for everyday guys and the girls who love them as they walk down the aisle. Think it's all hearts and flowers? Think again...

Drawing from my own experiences going through the process from getting engaged to saying "I do," this book will offer up real-life examples of the good, the bad and the ugly and answer the questions that no guy is willing to ask his drinking buddies, as well as shed a little light things you've never thought would come along with getting engaged.

300-some odd pages of self-deprecating, laughter-inducing truth from a guy who has gone down this road and lived to tell about it.

Who would you rather take advice from: some relationship guru with a wall full of degrees and nothing in common with you or the guy at the other end of the bar who was once in the same place you are?

Hopefully, a whole shitload of people pick the latter...

* * * * * * *

So that's the idea. What do you think?

I think it's a winner - but I'm the guy writing the book, so I have to believe in it.

What makes me even more in love with this idea is that no one has to pay me a red cent to write this book. Mind you, I'm going to turn down an advance or anything like that, but regardless of what comes from the proposal process, this book will be written within a year and that is killer to me.

Besides, The Shack was printed at Staples for a few friends and family members and now it's sold over 2 million copies... sometimes, you just never know what is going to happen.

All I can do is write the book and roll the dice.

So that's what I'm going to do.

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The Rundown: Back to the Beginning

Back on Wednesday, November 7, 2007, I launched a daily feature called The Rundown, designed to bust out my top five somethings each and every week.

That first Rundown featured my Top Five Man Crushes.

I was secure enough to admit to them then and I'm secure enough to admit to them now, as we're going back to the beginning and breaking out the revamped Rundown of the men I love most.

Top Five Man Crushes, May 2009 Edition

5. Dana White
I don't care what anyone says about him. He's my boy. I love him. Dude has busted his ass to get the UFC to where it is and that is worthy of my admiration. Yes, he swears more than a boat full of drunken sailors and launches personal attacks on journalists via video blog from time to time, but he's a hard worker and an inspiration and that gets you some love.

4. Chuck Klosterman
The original #3 on the list has taken a step back because there hasn't been any new work, at least not that I've enjoyed. Just as your favorite musicians fall out of your memory from time to time when they don't have an album out, Klosterman has released any of the Klosterman that made me fall in love with his style since IV and that was a long time ago. I still got love for him though...

3. LeBron James
Despite the fact that the Cavs are down 3-1 in the Eastern Conference playoffs, it ain't got nothing to do with LeBron. It's the fact that he is without a definitive Robin that D12 & Co. have him one step from elimination. King James is the best player in the world and a basketball impresario the likes of which we haven't seen since Magic. Sorry Michael, but he's got you trumped. Yeah, I said it. Can't wait 'til he heads to Brooklyn with my relocating Nets and his pal Jay-Z.

2. Don Cheadle
This is still my dude. There may not have been any massive movie roles or a staggering number of appearances in the public eye, but I'll still fight you over Don Cheadle. And when he rocks the role of "War Machine" Jim Rhodes in the next Iron Man, you'll all be loving him like I do.

1. George Stroumboulopoulos
While I may joke about my dream scenario as an author being to end up on Oprah's couch, that's only because if Oprah endorses you, you sell a bazillion books and make serious loot. I really want to sit down on those red leather couches and shake hands with my boyfriend George Stroumboulopoulos so I can hear what he thinks about The Rules of Engagement. Then we'll talk about how shitty popular music is these days and laugh about his time at MuchMusic before heading out for a pint and exchanging numbers so that we can stay in touch forever...

I HEART GEORGE!

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The Rundown: Favorite Friends

Some of you may know this and some of you won't, but I'm a major, major fan of Friends. Major to the point that Sarah and I own every season and keep them on in rotation whenever there is nothing else on the go.

Put it this way: we've already ran through all ten seasons once since we've been out here and we're on Disc 2 of Season 9 right now.

Seeing as I watch so many episodes a week, I thought today I would narrow down my list and fill you in on my favorite episodes. Everybody has favorites and these are mine.

Top 5 Friends Episodes

5. Any one with flashbacks to Fat Monica
I know how horrible that sounds, but you can't tell me that Courtney Cox in a fat suit isn't funny. Whether it's the episode with Dr. Boring or visiting Ross at college, Fat Monica is always enjoyable.

4. The One with the Male Nanny
We have adopted the name of one of Freddie Prinze Jr.'s sock puppets as the reference to whichever member of the house is being a grumpy bastard. That person is automatically The Grumpus...

3. The One Where No One is Ready
Nothing beats Joey decked out in all of Chandler's clothes doing lunges.

2. The One with the Ultimate Fighting Championship
Some of the best lines ever come from this episode. My two personal favorites:
(1) One day, kids are going to argue about who would win a fight, me or Superman. I'm not saying I can beat Superman, just, you know, kids are stupid.
(2) See this circle I'm marking, this is my Circle of Terror.

1. The One with the Embryos
The game for the apartment is easily the most entertaining episode in the history of the show. Big Fat Goalie. Maurice, Space Cowboy. Ms. Chanandeler Bong. Need I go on? I think not.

Now your turn... tell me your favorites.

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The Rundown: Music I Miss

I rip on current music a lot around here. Maybe that makes me a grumpy old man or maybe that makes me a rock snob who has a taste for music that is better than shiny beats and meaningless lyrics.

Whatever it makes me, I got thinking today about artists and bands that I miss; musicians that would, in my opinion, have kept me from becoming so disinterested in what is on the radio today. Not that there aren't some things I still like, but if I hear Lady Gaga one more time, I might just cut my ears off.

Since it's Wednesday, you know what that means.

Top Five Musical Acts I Miss

5. Boogie Down Productions / KRS-One
One of the first intellectual rappers that I ever got into was KRS-One. Amidst all the dance rap on Rap Traxx 1 and 2 was "My Philosophy" by BDP, a totally different cut from everything else on the cassette and I latched on. KRS went solo after DJ Scott LaRock was murdered and did some good things for a while, but then he got flashy with I Got Next and has disappeared since.

4. Rage Against the Machine
Part of me is mad at myself for being so deeply into hip hop that I listened to almost nothing else during the high school years because I kind of missed Rage during their rise. Thankfully, I caught on later and fell in love, only to have them disband. While they have reformed at various stages, it never lasts long and that sucks, because we could really use a band like Rage today.

3. A Tribe Called Quest
Q-Tip is still around and The Renaissance was cool and all, but Tribe was arguably the best unit out there for some time and I miss that. Tip and Phife Dog played off each other perfectly and Ali Shaheed Muhammed was a drastically under appreciated DJ and producer. Midnight Marauders and Low End Theory are two of the best hip hop albums ever and I wish there were dozens more that followed.

2. Sublime
Every so often, I toss the Sublime Greatest Hits into the CD player and just chill. It reminds me of university and hanging out on the patios of Waterloo with the boys, good times that I enjoy reminiscing over. Then I remember that Bradley Nowell didn't have to die and Sublime could have kept putting out killer ska for years and years and I turn it off because I'm sad.

1. Blind Melon
I don't even really want to get into it more than saying these guys were my favorite band when lead singer Shannon Hoon OD'ed. While most people remember them as the guys who did that song with the bee girl in the video, they were so much more than "No Rain" and their greatest hits is on regular rotation in my office.

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The Rundown: Since I've Been Gone

Here's a pleasant surprise for you - I'm actually writing a blog post!

Sorry about being gone for so long; this editing thing and working at the restaurant a great deal have been sapping my desire to do more than necessary and that means you folks have suffered. Or not. Whatever.

Anywho, a great deal of shit has happened in the nearly two weeks since we last spoke, so I thought I'd go over a couple of my favorites...

Top 5 Things That Have Happened Since My Last Post

5. New Column Debuted

It's pretty cool picking up the paper and seeing my name in it. What's even cooler will be picking up today's edition and seeing it there again. And next week. And the week after that. The best part, I think, is that I don't have to curtail my style or passion or attitude and it's only 400 words a week, so I can bang it out in no time and just be myself.

4. Joaquin Phoenix is now a total joke

You know you've lost your shit when you become the centerpiece of a gag at the Oscars. Loved Ben Stiller's Joaquin impression and for those who didn't see the original - Joaquin on David Letterman - I suggest you track it down. Unintentional comic gold.

3. Speaking of The Oscars...

I haven't seen either Milk or The Wrestler, but something tells me that every other award ceremony that has been held this year didn't get it wrong. Mickey Rourke deserved the Oscar and got jobbed because he's Mickey Rourke. The irony, to me, is that Sean Penn got hosed a couple times in his career too, only to get one he didn't really deserves (Mystic River) and now this one.

2. House has overtaken Grey's

There is a new #1 medical drama in my house - or at least on my list - and it's House. I've always loved it, but Grey's had a place in my heart. Now, it's sliding... fast. Starting to near "Jumped the Shark" territory with me. They need to figure it out fast.

1. Less Than 2 Months

Monday was the "It's two months 'til our wedding" date. We've got our week-long stay in Ontario planned out and now it's just a countdown 'til fun in the sun and the big "I Do!" Getting pretty pumped...

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The Rundown: Actors I Hate More Than Nicolas Cage

I've actually had conversations about how much I hate Nicolas Cage.

Seriously. It was a fairly regular conversation in the Blockbuster days and seems to be somewhat universal across the male demographic, provided they have some taste in movies.

See, for every good movie Elvis' former son-in-law has done (Raising Arizona) there are two horrible movies (Ghost Rider, Bangkok Dangerous) where you think about carving your own eyes out so you don't have to see any more awful Cage acting.

What is all the more remarkable, at least to me, is that Cage doesn't even top my list of actors that I downright loathe. I present those people to you today...

Top 5 Actors I Hate More Than Nicolas Cage

5. Christian Slater
Kind of follows in the same lines as Cage, in that there have been good turns (True Romance) but more often than not, there have been bombs like Broken Arrow and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

4. Kevin Costner
Speaking of Robin of Locksley... man this guy drives me insane! Honestly, I can't remember the last movie of Costner's that I actually enjoyed. Everything for the last ten years has been crap. I can't believe this is the same guy who played Crash Davis in Bull Durham. Swing Vote? Are you kidding me?

3. Ryan Phillippe
ARGH! Not only is he a douche bag for cheating on Reese Witherspoon, but for all the people who bag on Keanu Reeves for being all monotone and shit, I present this chucklehead. He wants so desperately to be a big-time serious actor that he hasn't figured out he's nothing more than talking eye candy. Him trying to be all gripping and raw nearly ruined Stop-Loss for me. Thankfully, Joseph Gordon Levitt made it all better.
2. Paul Walker
I loved seeing his mug on the cover of Bobby Z, the direct-to-DVD gangster flick that served as his last starring role because it gave me hope that he was going the Val Kilmer route and falling off the face of the mainstream Earth. Then comes this summer's Fast & Furious, the ingeniously titled next entry in the The Fast & The Furious line. Dammit!
1. Julianne Moore
What? You thought I was going all guys? If you've been following iBlog over it's entire existence, you know how I feel about Ms. Moore. If you haven't, allow me to get you up to speed: She is the same character over and over and over again and forever ruined the character of Clarice Starling from Silence of the Lambs with her awful turn in Hannibal. Watching Next is like torture to me... Cage & Moore, together... yikes!

By the way, this wasn't a completely randomly generated idea... these guys got me thinking about it...

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