Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Rundown: Actors I Hate More Than Nicolas Cage

I've actually had conversations about how much I hate Nicolas Cage.

Seriously. It was a fairly regular conversation in the Blockbuster days and seems to be somewhat universal across the male demographic, provided they have some taste in movies.

See, for every good movie Elvis' former son-in-law has done (Raising Arizona) there are two horrible movies (Ghost Rider, Bangkok Dangerous) where you think about carving your own eyes out so you don't have to see any more awful Cage acting.

What is all the more remarkable, at least to me, is that Cage doesn't even top my list of actors that I downright loathe. I present those people to you today...

Top 5 Actors I Hate More Than Nicolas Cage

5. Christian Slater
Kind of follows in the same lines as Cage, in that there have been good turns (True Romance) but more often than not, there have been bombs like Broken Arrow and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

4. Kevin Costner
Speaking of Robin of Locksley... man this guy drives me insane! Honestly, I can't remember the last movie of Costner's that I actually enjoyed. Everything for the last ten years has been crap. I can't believe this is the same guy who played Crash Davis in Bull Durham. Swing Vote? Are you kidding me?

3. Ryan Phillippe
ARGH! Not only is he a douche bag for cheating on Reese Witherspoon, but for all the people who bag on Keanu Reeves for being all monotone and shit, I present this chucklehead. He wants so desperately to be a big-time serious actor that he hasn't figured out he's nothing more than talking eye candy. Him trying to be all gripping and raw nearly ruined Stop-Loss for me. Thankfully, Joseph Gordon Levitt made it all better.
2. Paul Walker
I loved seeing his mug on the cover of Bobby Z, the direct-to-DVD gangster flick that served as his last starring role because it gave me hope that he was going the Val Kilmer route and falling off the face of the mainstream Earth. Then comes this summer's Fast & Furious, the ingeniously titled next entry in the The Fast & The Furious line. Dammit!
1. Julianne Moore
What? You thought I was going all guys? If you've been following iBlog over it's entire existence, you know how I feel about Ms. Moore. If you haven't, allow me to get you up to speed: She is the same character over and over and over again and forever ruined the character of Clarice Starling from Silence of the Lambs with her awful turn in Hannibal. Watching Next is like torture to me... Cage & Moore, together... yikes!

By the way, this wasn't a completely randomly generated idea... these guys got me thinking about it...


Newt said...

I enjoyed Nick Cage in a few movies but I wonder what went wrong? ConAir, The Rock, Even Gone in 60 Seconds wasn't that bad. I think the movie about the snuff movies did him in for me. That was horrible.

Ashley said...

Ryan Phillippee?
What about Cruel Intentions?
Ha ha