The Rundown: Back to the Beginning

Back on Wednesday, November 7, 2007, I launched a daily feature called The Rundown, designed to bust out my top five somethings each and every week.

That first Rundown featured my Top Five Man Crushes.

I was secure enough to admit to them then and I'm secure enough to admit to them now, as we're going back to the beginning and breaking out the revamped Rundown of the men I love most.

Top Five Man Crushes, May 2009 Edition

5. Dana White
I don't care what anyone says about him. He's my boy. I love him. Dude has busted his ass to get the UFC to where it is and that is worthy of my admiration. Yes, he swears more than a boat full of drunken sailors and launches personal attacks on journalists via video blog from time to time, but he's a hard worker and an inspiration and that gets you some love.

4. Chuck Klosterman
The original #3 on the list has taken a step back because there hasn't been any new work, at least not that I've enjoyed. Just as your favorite musicians fall out of your memory from time to time when they don't have an album out, Klosterman has released any of the Klosterman that made me fall in love with his style since IV and that was a long time ago. I still got love for him though...

3. LeBron James
Despite the fact that the Cavs are down 3-1 in the Eastern Conference playoffs, it ain't got nothing to do with LeBron. It's the fact that he is without a definitive Robin that D12 & Co. have him one step from elimination. King James is the best player in the world and a basketball impresario the likes of which we haven't seen since Magic. Sorry Michael, but he's got you trumped. Yeah, I said it. Can't wait 'til he heads to Brooklyn with my relocating Nets and his pal Jay-Z.

2. Don Cheadle
This is still my dude. There may not have been any massive movie roles or a staggering number of appearances in the public eye, but I'll still fight you over Don Cheadle. And when he rocks the role of "War Machine" Jim Rhodes in the next Iron Man, you'll all be loving him like I do.

1. George Stroumboulopoulos
While I may joke about my dream scenario as an author being to end up on Oprah's couch, that's only because if Oprah endorses you, you sell a bazillion books and make serious loot. I really want to sit down on those red leather couches and shake hands with my boyfriend George Stroumboulopoulos so I can hear what he thinks about The Rules of Engagement. Then we'll talk about how shitty popular music is these days and laugh about his time at MuchMusic before heading out for a pint and exchanging numbers so that we can stay in touch forever...

I HEART GEORGE!

Continue reading ...

The Rundown: Book It

In looking back over the numerous Rundown's we've shared together in the year and change I've been writing them and you've been reading them, I realized that I have skipped out on one major, major Rundown.

My Favourite Books.

See, I consider it major because reading is what turned me on to writing. I was always decent enough at it in school and once considered pursuing an English degree in University, but that never happened and entry into the working world involved shaking hands and settling disputes, not writing essays on the character interactions in King Lear or my views on abortion.

But that foray into the world of customer service did provide two important components that led to where we are today - a bunch of disposable income and fairly decent amounts of time off to lay around the house doing nothing.

In my case, nothing often meant playing PlayStation 2 and watching movies, but sometimes it meant reading.

One of the books I read during those years changed my life and started me down the path we're on together today. The gentlemen pictured above who looks like a Gap mannequin is to blame...

Top Five Books

5. A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
I know it was partially fabricated and Oprah hates him, but I'm not a suburban housewife so I don't have to do everything that Oprah tells me. Outside of the controversy, this is an incredibly powerful work. The way it's written in disjointed sentences, more staccato than prose and the violent, vivid images that Frey creates for the readers hook you in to the point that you don't want to put the book down for a minute. The book about overcoming addiction becomes your addiction. At least it did for me.

4. Thank You For Smoking by Christopher Buckley
The movie also made my Favourite Movie list a while back, so you had to know that I was a major fan of the source material. This one goes along with the longstanding belief that the book is always better than the movie. As outstanding as the film was - and don't kid yourself, it was outstanding - the book is even better in delivering more background on protagonist Nick Naylor, his insane boss B.R. and his relationships with his family, his friends and a back-stabbing bitch that never really showed up in the movie. This one got me through my stint at the Marine Atlantic Ferry Terminal.

3. The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green by Joshua Braff
I actually read this book because I love the author's brother - Zach Braff, he of Scrubs and Garden State fame. Thankfully, incredible talent is a trait both Braff boys hold (as does their sister...) as Joshua crafts a beautiful tale of a young Jewish boy growing up with some truly unthinkable thoughts. As I write this, I'm eagerly awaiting Braff's next effort because if it's anything like Jacob Green, it'll be on the next incarnation of this list.

2. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
This is the fictional version of "That's me!" Hornby's Rob Fleming - later turned into Rob Gordon and dumped in Chicago by Cusack & Co for the outstanding film version - encompasses everything that I am and everything that I was at the time I read the book. He has no idea what to do with his life, I had no idea what to do with my life. He was a moron with women, I was a moron with women. In the end, it worked all worked out... for the both of us.

1. Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman
This is the non-fiction version of "That's me!" Everything Klosterman put down into words in this collection hit on something I had thought at one point or another in my life. And we're not talking brilliant, Earth-shattering developments here either, we're talking shit like, "How are there so many naked housewives in the world?" and "Is the Sim version of me happier than the real me?" I own everything the man has ever written now, having gone back and read what I had missed and bought everything that has come after it, save for his crappy fictional effort...

So if you need to blame someone for getting me started down this path and making me think I could one day be a real, live writer, blame Chuck Klosterman.

Continue reading ...

The Rundown: Yes, I Enjoy Reading

I find it incredible how many people think of reading as one of the most painful acts on the face of the Earth. To some people, if you gave them the option of sitting down and reading a 300 page book or having an anal probe, they would scoff at the notion of opening a book and bend over. To me, that just seems wrong.

All of this came to light again today as I sat in the bar at work, just hanging out, waiting to see if Juice (one of my managers) was going to need me to start. I had opened the bar as a "training exercise" and volunteered to sit tight in case we got busy. To occupy my time, I brought Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs.

Note: Not bad so far, especially when I only paid $4 for it at Chapters last week. Really, how bad would a book have to be to not be worth $4?

Of the collection of people in the restaurant at the time, one shared my love of books and Chapters, two were entirely non-committal and two were astounded that anyone would choose to open a book of their own free will, let alone make it through 56 pages in roughly an hour.

While I know my stance on this might be skewed by the fact that I intend to make my living (and hopefully a modest one at that) off people being interested in reading, the fact that reading makes some people's skin crawl is mind-blowing to me.

As the NBA taught me years ago through All-Star laden Public Service Announcements, Reading is Fun-damental!

Without reading, I never would have become a writer, because I never would have encountered the subjects of today's Rundown.

All-Time Top Five Books

5. Rebels of the Backlot by Sharon Waxman
As has been mentioned a time or two, I like movies. I also like books about movies or books that become movies, as you'll see shortly. This effort is a behind-the-scenes look into the careers of six of the biggest and brightest directors in Hollywood today - Tarantino, Sodderberg, David O. Russell, Spike Jonze and Paul Thomas Anderson. If you don't know these names, you (a) have missed some really good movies and (b) would absolutely hate this book. If you have any interest in Hollywood, the film industry or what it would be like to get into an argument with George Clooney while filming Three Kings, find this book and read it.

4. Everything Bad is Good for You by Stephen Johnson
As part of the video game, music video, Reality TV generation, I've been told countless times how all of today's technology and entertainment mediums and everything else in the world is making me dumber. Finding a book that actually proves that we're becoming smarter and more intellectually advanced as a result of all these things is outstanding. Seriously, this book is a well-researched middle finger to parents everywhere who told their kids that watching too much TV or playing too much Nintendo would rot their brains.

3. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
Seeing the movie made me want to read the book. I loved the movie - it's #1 on the All-Time Top Five if you recall - and since the old standing truism is that the book is always better than the movie, I had to find out for myself. Since reading High Fidelity, I've read everything else Hornby has put out, except for his most recent effort Slam, since it's geared to teens and I'm painfully far removed from the teenage demographic. Anyway, the book was better than the movie, though not by much. Then again, it's my favourite movie ever, so being even a ounce better is pretty damn impressive.

2. Thank You For Smoking by Christopher Buckley
Back-to-back book to movie adaptations near the top of the charts, where both hit the Top Five on my movie list too. While the movie rankings for these two efforts are reversed, Buckley's book has a lot more to offer that wasn't brought to the screen and therefore bests Hornby's best effort. Maybe having seen Aaron Eckhart play Nick Naylor so perfectly on screen influenced my enjoyment of the book. But if biases came into play, I would have hated the character Heather Holloway because Katie "Kate Cruise" Holmes brought her to life on camera and I downright loathe the former Joey Potter. That wasn't the case though. I loved everything about this book, including Ms. Holloway, dirty, scheming tramp that she is.

1. Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman
Imagine opening a book and finding everything you have ever thought of on the pages before you. That is what this book is to me. I've wondered about the suddenly enormous amounts of "Housewife Sluts" willing to pose nude since the rise in cultural relevance of the Internet. I too have known since I first saw Say Anything that every woman wants to be with a guy like Lloyd Dobbler and I would never quite make it to his level of excellence. Klosterman seemingly tapped into my brain - or that of every other Pop Culture Obsessive with the attention span of a gnat - when putting together this collection. Everything he has done has struck a chord with me, but this one was first and it will probably always remain that way.

Continue reading ...

10 Things I Learned This Week

1. Things Always Seem To Work Out
My man Bucky was to be in town Monday night for some meetings and pints were definitely in order. Unfortunately, Monday night is the night I close at Montana's and passing up a guaranteed $150 bucks would be insane. So I had to cancel with Bucky. Turns out Bucky got to town super late and would be hanging around throughout the day Tuesday. Guess who happened to be off? Nothing better than afternoon beers and wings with an old friend.
2. Blue Jays Jinx Continues
This season, the Jays are 0-3 when I'm in attendance as they dropped Wednesday afternoon's game to Tampa while I was 18 rows up at third. As always, big thanks go out to my man Chris Schiel for the hookup - everyone had a great time... except the Jays.

3. OCD and Me
So, I kind of have a little bit of an issue with schedules and order. See, I like them, a lot and really, really don't do so well when things get thrown off schedule and out of order. Case in point, Wednesday morning. We were supposed to be leaving the house around 9:30 in Garry's car to go to the game. Too bad he took his keys with him when he left at 7:00 AM. Tried to find Sarah at the hospital to get her set, but no one could direct me to her floor. Did I mention it was pouring rain? Soaked and dejected, I got home at 9:50, pouted on the bed for about 3 minutes and drove Shitbox 2 to Toronto. We got into our seats for the bottom of the second. ARGH!
4. Chapters Really Does Have Magic Powers
I've been kind of bummed lately about writing and just work in general; no real reason, just July was a slower month and there hasn't been anything new coming down the pipeline for a few weeks. All that was washed away and the fire rekindled by a Monday trip to Chapters. Twenty minutes of shopping for cheap books (I bought three, have already read Fargo Rock City) and another twenty sitting in the chairs reading the latest issue of Spin - great story on D'Angelo and an interview with Q-Tip - and I was ready to rock the keys again. What can I say, the place just inspires me.

5. Wedding Plans Are Made
In the span of three days, we went from dealing with Lindsay the Halfwit at Flight Center who never got back to us about anything and had no real information to walking into Marlin Travel, meeting Judy (I Love Judy!), telling her what we were looking for and having everything in our hands with final confirmation coming sometime this week. Once we get it all in stone - the exact date and whatnot -you'll be sure to know. If I can give everyone some advice it's this: when it comes to your wedding plans, you want someone who is a bit of a bitch working for you; Judy is great with us but a total bad-ass on the phone and via email getting everything done and we couldn't be happier.

6. 10 Days of No TV
Have to say I'm pretty impressed, because so far it hasn't really been much of anything really. I mean, I wish I could watch Iron Chef: America every night when I get home from work (and Sarah misses Jon & Kate Plus 8) but for the most part it's been no inconvenience at all. I've read more, written about as much as always and it makes going out the door to workout a much easier decision, since I can't sit in front of sports highlights and afternoon baseball.

7. Hangover City
So I decided to have a couple drinks with some people from work on Friday night. Sarah was working at the hospital overnight and having a beer or two chatting with my colleagues sounded like a good idea. When am I going to learn that this is never what ends up happening? A couple beers turned into three Guinness, three vodka waters and tray after tray of shots that left me feeling like someone had kicked the living hell out of me all day yesterday. And then I had to go to work all night...

8. The Hangover Cure Still Works Like a Charm
I could swear I've shared my sure-fire hangover buster formula with everyone before, but just in case I haven't, I need to pass it along because it truly did make all the difference in the world yesterday. Besides the obvious (sleep, Tylenol Extra Strength) the key components are: lots and lots of water, a warm shower and McDonalds. The sooner you shower the better, as this will get you feeling better for a period. Ideally, you eat the McDonalds before the positives of the shower subside. Keep the water going all day. Next time you're feeling like I was yesterday, give this a try. You can thank me later.
9. The Motodanica Commentors
My new pet peeve here at iBlog are the random "promotional commentors" who take on various names and make witty banter about stuff they obvliously don't care about in the comments section. They're always linked to www.motodanica.com - an ad page for some Motorola phone - and pop up once or twice a week. I guess I should be flattered - getting SPAM is the mark of making it, isn't it?

10. Operation: 185 Update
Starting Weight: 204 lbs.
Last Week's Weight: 199 lbs.
Current Weight: 198.5 lbs.

Another half pound down and considering that I injested a great deal of McDonalds yesterday to combat the booze sweats, this is yet another accomplishment. I also think it's the first time in about four years that I have been under 200 pounds for consecutive weeks, so there's that too!

Continue reading ...

Soundtrack of My Life

Song: Something to Believe In
Artist: Poison
Album: Flesh & Blood (1990)

Dropping Slaughter earlier in July was just because the song was fitting to my current state.

Pulling out some Poison is an ode to The Hair Metal Days that everyone went through - whether for or against - and it's all Chuck Klosterman's fault.

I'm currently reading Klosterman's first effort - Fargo Rock City - where he chronicles his growing up with Heavy Metal. Like all his work since, it's not one long narrative, but rather fractured, essay type pieces on different, related topics, including one simply titled "Poison."

I used to draw the Poison logo on just about everything. I loved these guys. How could you not?

Okay - you could easily have not, but still, I did and while there were more popular songs (Nothin' But A Good Time), better karaoke tunes (Every Rose...) and ridiculous up-beat stupidity (Unskinny Bop), this track actually has something to say.

For a Hair Metal / Glam Metal / Whateveryouwanttocallthem Metal band like Poison, that's pretty heady stuff.

I drive by the homeless sleeping on a cold dark street
Like bodies in an open grave
Underneath the broken old neon sign
That used to read jesus saves

A mile away live the rich folks
And I see how theyre living it up
While the poor they eat from hand to mouth
The rich is drinkin from a golden cup

And it just makes me wonder
Why so many lose, so few win

While the band went into serious decline following this album's release - and despite Rock of Love being a VH1 smash - Poison's best years are long behind them. Now they're that band you get to wax nostalgic about like I am now.

I remember when Poison was on top of the world - Get out your hair spray!

Continue reading ...

The Rundown: Under the Influence

With moving to a new city again, there have been a number of instances over the last week or so that I have been quizzed about my career choice.

The first question, usually, is how I came to freelance writing, as no one tosses out "freelance writer" during the customary Elementary School "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Sessions. Hell, I couldn't even have answered "freelance writer" myself as recently as a couple years ago.

After that though, one of the most frequently asked questions is about my influences. Somehow, I've gone this long without putting them down here for your knowledge.

Top Five Influences

5. Peter Kyte

As much as we don't see eye to eye on a number of things, my brother was the first person in my life that I saw find his passion and chase after it. From the time he was fourteen, he knew he wanted harness racing to be where he made his career and nothing stood in the way of that. It's been a long and hard road over the years, but he's doing what he loves and is having some success doing it and that is really all that matters.

4. Kevin Smith

Speaking of people who dropped out of school to pursue their craft... Jersey's Own has built an outstanding career that started from thousands of dollars in credit card debts to make a little movie called Clerks. There is just an openness that comes across in Smith's work makes him even more appealing and influential to me. He's just a dude who wanted to make movies with his buddies...

3. Kanye West

Some people dislike Kanye for what they perceive as cockiness. I see it as confidence and an unwavering belief in himself. To me, anyone who wants to be the best at what they do needs that quality and Kanye has it in spades. How could he not? Not that long ago, no one had any interest in Kanye West the rapper. Now, he's one of the top artists in the world and one of my greatest influences.

2. George Stromboulopoulos

If you were around for Rundown #1, this one shouldn't surprise you. Strombo presents the ideal package of what I would like to be as a journalist - intelligence, character and wit with a healthy dose of Pop Culture knowledge thrown in there too. My Canadian idol...

1. Chuck Klosterman

His work is what first made me think a career in writing was a possibility. His Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs was the first book I had come across (courtesy of a Strombo segment on The New Music, incidentally) that combined great writing with the topics that are nearest and dearest to my heart: pop culture, video games, music, movies and self-deprication. I've read it all since then and have even followed him to Esquire over the last couple of years. Homeboy is my hero.

Continue reading ...

The Rundown

I like the idea of having things that will appear on specific days - like the Things I Learned This Week that will appear every Sunday. For one, it makes determining what I'm going to write a little bit easier and two, if it's good, you get used to it and make a habit of coming back, at least on those specific days.

With that in mind, Wednesday is going to become home to The Rundown.

What is The Rundown?

It's going to be a list of five somethings. Top 5 Movies, Top Five Albums, Top Five Songs and on and on and on. But it won't only be mundane, normal stuff like that. What else is going to be covered? Stuff like this week's:

Top Five Man Crushes

I have no problem admitting to having man-crushes. I actually got the idea from my interview with Cabbie, because he used it in reference to his favoute athlete ever Eddie George.

Anyway, on with the show...

5. Robbie Williams, Pop Star
The "fat one" from British Boy Band Take That became a fav well after harmonizing on "I Want You Back." It actually started when I first heard the song "Angels," which has since become a karaoke favourite of mine unfortunately for those in attendance. What is it about Williams that I love? It's the mixture of arrogance, charisma and showmanship coupled with the willingness to be extremely open about who he is and the things he's done. Plus, I'm sure he'd knock back a few pints of the dark with me if I ever ran into him... and that's cool.

4. Johnny Depp, Actor
I actually don't think this one needs much explaining. Anyone who is as ridiculously talented as the former 21 Jump Street star and has the integrity to march to the beat of his own drum is aces in my books.

3. Chuck Klosterman, Writer
Everyone needs to have their model of who'd they aspire to be like and Klosterman is one of mine. It's not just that he is a writer, but also what he writes, how he writes and who he writes for. Beyond his own novels - Fargo Rock City, Sex Drugs & Cocoa Puffs, Killing Yourself to Live and IV - Klosterman writes his own column in Esquire, does numerous guest spots on ESPN and The Magazine and pretty much does it all in the exact same way I one day aspire to.

2. Don Cheadle, Actor / Activist
Listen. You can say whatever you want about whoever you want, but if you say something bad about Don Cheadle, we're fighting. Dude is just lights out every time. He can be funny, serious, part of an ensemble or carry a movie all by himself, which speaks volumes about his talent. But it's more than that. Cheadle is also the co-founder of Not On Our Watch, an organization that focuses global attention and resources to stop and prevent mass atrocities as in Darfur and is also very outspoken about racism, an issue close to my heart. Seriously, I'll fight you over Don Cheadle. And he ain't even #1...

1. George Stroumboulopoulos
Every Canadian knows this man or at least they should. Those of us who grew up in and around The GTA met him on The Edge 102.1. Some watched him on The Nation's Music Station, Much Music which I gotta say was painful,, other than The New Music. But where Stroumbo has gotten his most attention - and deservedly so - is as the host of CBC's The Hour. Part talk show, part news magazine, all Stroumbo... it is hands down the best show on Canadian television and one of the best on TV period. YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS SHOW PEOPLE! George is intelligent, well-spoken, funny, self-deprecating, sarcastic and just plain effin' awesome. When I grow up, I wanna be George Stroumboulopoulos...

* * * * * * * * *
If there is something you want to see in The Rundown, let me know in the comments section. Nothing is off-limits...

Continue reading ...