For no real discernible reason, I've been kind of on edge and grumpy the last little while.
It seems like all kinds of little thing evoke a stronger reaction than normal and I more and more things bug me than ever did before.
Why? I don't know. Just a cycle I'm in I suppose.
As such, I thought I'd let you know the things that fire me up the most these days, you know, so you'll known how to push my buttons.
Top Five Frustrations
5. Mispronouncing the Word Frustration
Yes, I'm a bit of a stickler for this stuff because I spend a great deal of my days dealing with words and language, but c'mon people.
How you get "fustration" is about as ridiculous as saying "libary" or "axing" me a question. There are more than enough challenging words in the world for everyone to mispronounce (myself very much included) that we don't need to butcher some basics.
4. Complainers
This one is a bit dicey, because I've been known to do my own fair share of whining. I'm working on it though, one day at a time like rehab.
Too bad more people couldn't do the same.
One of the things that I've come to learn in the last few years of bouncing around the country, rocking bad jobs and making no money is that if you're unhappy with your situation, you have two options: change it or shut up.
If you don't want to work to improve your lot in life, I don't want to hear about how crappy your career, marriage, kids or anything else are.
3. Bugs
This one is completely petty and there is nexct to nothing I can do to change it, but they still make me mental.
We've been trying to get out and about more lately, enjoying Sarah's slack-ass August along with the sunshine and surroundings, but everywhere we go, bugs follow. And not just a couple flies here and there.
I'm a walking wasp magnet; the little fuckers won't leave me alone. Not when we were camping and not when we hit up the lake yesterday with the mongrel. Totally open to suggestions if anyone has some.
2. The North American Obsession with Fake Stars and Dead Stars
Why in the world is the media still talking about Michael goddamn Jackson? Dude has been dead for like six weeks now... let him be.
Jon and Kate's every move does not need to be reported on CNN, nor do the daily lives of Octomom, murderous Reality TV "stars" and countless pseudo-celebrities who get more airplay than people who actually make a difference in the world.
Sometimes I think it would be nice to live in the Middle of Nowhere, New Zealand or someplace like that, where no one gives two shits about any of this ridiculousness... provided they have the Internet.
1. Elitists
Yes, this is pretty general, but I can sum it up for you like this:
Despite what you think, you're not really better than everyone because you have money / went to a certain school / are of a certain race / have more experience at something arbitrary and if you think you are, people like me will take pleasure in reminding you that it is not the case.
This one transferred over to mixed martial arts today on Keyboard Kimura, as some fans think they're better, more real fans than others. How is that even possible?
Consider yourself appropriately warned.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Rundown: Welcome to Frustration
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Things I Learned This Week
1. My Resort Doesn't Like Customers
How else can you explain the (a) lack of ability to show the UFC fight cards in our bar at Kelsey's and (b) lack of advertising around the fact that the golf course we operate in conjunction with apparently having UFC 100 last night? The local dive was packed so tight that Sarah and I couldn't find a seat, yet our bar was completely empty. Super.
2. UFC 100 Kicked Ass
Last night's centennial UFC event, though actually UFC 105 if you're counting, was awesome and led me to bring 10 Things over to Keyboard Kimura this morning. Go read the piece to get all my thoughts.
3. Back to the Drawing Board for Baby Names
For two years, Sarah and I have agreed that we were naming our daughter, should we have one, Charlie. Found out yesterday that my brother and his wife have selected that name for their soon-to-be-born daughter. We're always one step behind those two and it's getting ridiculous.
4. I Have No Time for Complainers
Walking the pug this AM, a lady who owns a place up here, but lives in Calgary was out back bitching about the hike in condo fees and whatnot associated with owning her condo here. Does it suck that you're being asked to pay more for a vacation home here than you pay for your mortgage in Calgary? Maybe, but you have a vacation home! Cry me a river... and for once I'm not talking Justin Timberlake.
5. Hello, Hip Hop?
It's me, Spencer. I need you to make an appearance on the popular music scene once again and I'm not talking about your current incarnations like The Black Eyed Peas or Soulja Boy. I'm talking to you Talib Kweli and you Mos Def. Call The Roots, tell them to quit doing Jimmy Fallon and put some serious and legit Hip Hop back on the airwaves or you're going to put me on indefinite hiatus from the music I love.
6. Another Move is in the Works
Not quite sure when and not quite sure where to just yet, but we're definitely getting out of Kimberley sometime soon. As beautiful as it is here, Sarah's job isn't anywhere near as fulfilling and rewarding originally anticipated and since I can do my thing anywhere, why not load up and ship off somewhere that we would actually like to settle down long-term?
That's it for this week's new nuggets of knowledge.
See you back here for more Albert next Sunday.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
10 Things I Learned This Week
1. No Point in Complaining
I bitch about a lot of things. I bitch about work, I bitch about the shitty job other people do at work and I bitch about just about anything that makes me mad on a given day. I've come to realize that there is absolutely no point. Nothing changes - work is still just okay, nobody makes the slackers work any harder and the rest of the headaches and frustrations aren't going to change because I want them to. So from here on out, Spencer Kyte is now 50% less bitchy!
2. Off to Staples We Go
The weekly groceries run into Cranbrook will have an additional stop on the itinerary today. I need to hit Staples and get them to print several copies of my book proposal. Yes, I'm done and moving to the next step. I can't actually tell you how nervous -slash - excited this makes me. Think positive thoughts.
3. Clay Guida is My New Favorite Fighter
First, he took a massive headkick and pretty much bounced right back up. Then, he took some nasty elbows while in Diego Sanchez' guard and stayed there. At the end of the fight, dude was bouncing around like he could go two more rounds (which would have been awesome). Add the crazy caveman hair and you have one fun fighter to watch, win or lose.
4. Kobe > Shaq
Yeah, I said it and I challenge anyone who disagrees to a debate on the subject in the comments section. Shaq hasn't won anything without a strong #2; he had Kobe riding shotgun in the City of Angels and Flash leading the way in Miaimi. While Pau Gasol is nice, Kobe did most of this on his own and that puts him ahead of the big fella. One last thing: Kobe is one of the Top 5 ever. EVER.
5. Mainstream Sports Media is Ridiculous
I know you can't always be talking about the tough stuff, but how so much time can be spent discussing steroids in baseball and the US Open while the Donte Stallworth situation got one day of play is beyond me. Yes, we need diversions in life and sports certainly provides that break from the bad, but if you'll talk about Sammy Sosa testing positive six years ago for an entire week, why not address something that actually matters for more than 10 minutes?
6. You Need to See Taken
Watched this during the week with the wife and man was it awesome. All kinds of good here. I loved that Liam Neeson was the lead and not some hulked up, macho doofus and I loved that everything that his character did exactly what you would have expected him to do, right down to... I won't spoil it for you, but lemme just say that it was nice to see a movie that stayed true to the way things would actually go from start to finish.
7. Some People are Awful Defensive
Earlier in the week, I left a message on a friend's Facebook wall reminding her that in comparison to Toronto, Kimberley sucks. A couple of my bosses at work took exception to that and busted my balls about it the next time they saw me, with one telling me to move already if I hate it so much. Scenery and nature are great, but the fact that my shopping choices are WalMart or Superstore is all I need to say. I never thought the day would come when I was dying to go to Old Navy and American Eagle!
8. A Lot of Adult Dating Sites are Twittering!
As I've mentioned before, I tweet and each time I sign on, I check to see who is following me. Generally speaking, if you're following me, I'll follow you, simple as that. The exception to that rule are the countless Adult Dating Sites that pop up in my list for a couple days before the Twitter Police remove their accounts. Nothing like being excited to have another person follow my work only to find out it's some Spam-alicious "find a friend in your town tonight" site...
9. Gotta Love Mothers...
I was talking to mine yesterday and mentioned that I once again have a mohawk. Not a ultra-big, dyed pink, punk rock rules mohawk, more of a faux-hawk really, as I still have hair on both sides and it's maybe an inch when spiked. Anyway, as soon as the words came out of my mouth it was like I was 14 again. "Spencer, what are you doing? Why would you do something like that?" and on and on about making smart choices and all the things parents tell their kids... when they're actually children. That being said, I wouldn't change her for the world!
10. This is Getting Harder and Harder Each Week
Honestly, I don't know if I learn 10 things that are worth writing about every week. Maybe we'll cut it down to seven starting next week... or five... or just do something else entirely... have to see.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
10 Things I Learned This Week
1. Having a Dog is...
Super fun, always amusing and somewhat tiring. It's full of early mornings and collecting poop, but totally worth it for the smile that comes to Luke's face when you give him just a little bit of attention. Plus, it's pretty cool having a sidekick.
2. Why Wasn't I Waiting Tables All Along?
Well, for starters, I couldn't even manage an interview to be a server out East, but now that I'm home and passing out plates at Montana's, I wonder why I even wasted a couple weeks at Blockbuster in the first place. The hourly wage ($7.60) is a little short, but when I can smash out 5 1/2 hours last night and make $10+/hour in tips, everything tends to even itself out.
3. Take Your Complaints Elsewhere
I'm the new guy, not the complaint department. This has somehow escaped some of my cookhouse colleagues who chose to unload their frustrations and frazzled minds on me during my shift last night. I don't care how rattled you are or whether you didn't want to serve people on the patio. If you're mad, talk to the manager, not me. I could care less.
4. Writing, Writing and More Writing
I've cranked out a lot of material over the last seven days: a full slate of posts here, an Epic piece that'll be posted tomorrow, five different Blue Jays articles and my initial assignment for Trot Magazine. That's fourteen pieces over the last week! Crazy thing is, I'm still looking for more...
5. Triple Crown Let Down
Big Brown's bid to collect the Triple Crown ended with a last place finish yesterday in The Belmont. A huge longshot (38-1) named Da'Tara collected the win. Big Brown's trainer Rick Dutrow didn't have much to say, in part because he was still pulling his foot out of his mouth after saying a win for his charge was all but assured.
6. No One Believes I'm 29
Person X: How old are you?
Me: 29.
Person X: Fuck off! Really?
That is how every age related conversation goes for me... and I love it! I'm pretty sure that my inability to grow a proper beard and the fact that when clean shaved I have the second biggest baby-face in the world (next to my brother) has something to do with it.
7. Random Facebook Reconnects
Had my most random Facebook moment in some time Friday afternoon. A guy that I was friends with in Grade 2 and 3 sent me a message, doing the "Are you the guy who used to live down the street from me?" When I confirmed that I was, the Pultizer Prize winning response I got back was, "Crazy." That was it. Pretty much pointless...
8. I Still Don't Pay For Movies
When I told the people at Blockbuster here in London I was leaving, everyone told me I was crazy giving up my ten free rentals. Aside from the fact that driving across town to work in the most boring store in the history of stores had no appeal to me, getting free movies wasn't a big deal either - we've got an unscrambled dish. I've been watching all the movies I missed during my last few weeks at Blockbuster, without the hassle of stupid customers and long hours. Allow me to recommend Lars and the Real Girl and Charlie Wilson's War. Ryan Gosling and Philip Seymour Hoffman are terrific as usual.
9. Sarah is a Handier Man than I
There has been a ceiling fan sitting in a box on our floor since Sarah arrived. Earlier this week, when the humidity finally reached the unbearable level it will remain at for the next three months, we decided the fan had to go up. And by we, I mean Sarah. She took it out, she read the instructions, she assembled it and she mounted it to the ceiling. I took my turn every so often, only to step off the chair (until I broke it) or ladder cursing. She handles the handy work, I handle the decorating... that's just how we roll!
10. Fearless Prediction: Kobe & Co. Will Win It All
I don't care that they're down 0-1. I don't care that Paul Pierce came back from being shot in Game 1. Wait? It was only a knee injury? Could have fooled me... None of that matters. LA has The Zen Master, the talent to win on the road and, most importantly, Kobe Bean Bryant. As much as I don't particularly like him, there is no denying that Kobe is awesome. He was off in Game 1, but he'll make adjustments and come back even stronger tonight in Game 2. If LA wins this one, they might not have to head back to Boston...
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Can I Get You a Side of Shut the Hell Up?
That one goes for guests and employees alike.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Attack of the Cheap Bastards
Over this past week, I have been privy to a rash of ridiculous activity by the common sense challenged segment of our society who think that rules and pre-established pricing applies to everyone except them.
The fact that everyone - well, almost everyone - wants something for nothing is not a new nugget I have just recently gleaned. I used to work in a casino; everyone who sets foot in there is looking for as many free handouts as humanly possible. Heaven forbid they spend some of their money on a bite to eat or a beverage or something other than the one armed bandits...
I know money is tight and everyone wants more than whatever amount they have. That part makes sense. What doesn't make sense is people's unrealistic expectation that for some unknown reason the regular policies and prices out in the world don't apply to them.
When a photographer quotes you at $100 per person for grad photos, emailing her back informing her that you only want to pay $100 for two people is pretty stupid. You're already getting a deal, yet you want to pay half the price of everyone else. Why? What makes you so special?
You can't do this type of thing in a restaurant. There is no telling the waiter that the fillet is overpriced at $35.00 and asking him to see if you could get it for $22. Sure you can, at the other restaurant down the street...
I'm going to give everyone who ever rents movies a little tip here - at least 1/3 of the movies in the store are absolute crap. If it didn't make it to theatres, stay away. If it stars a rapper or former wrestler, stay away. If you've never heard of it at all and no one in the store bothered to use one of their free rentals on it, there is a good chance it is horrible.
That being said, if you're stupid enough to spend your money on one of the above mentioned items, why in the hell should I have to give you your money back when you realize you fucked up? That's not part of the agreement, no matter how good a customer you are.
And for the record, everyone thinks they're a great customer. Guess what? You're not. You're a pain in my ass.
"I didn't like this game. Can I get my money back?"
I don't like my job. Is someone going to give me back the eight months I've spent there listening to this crap on a daily basis? No? I didn't think so.
In all honesty, I could go on for hours.
If I wasn't afraid of getting (a) punched in the mouth - which I assure you is bound to happen one of these days - or (b) fired - I hate it, but I need money too! - this is how I would handle these situations:
Ask the person where they work.
Ask them if I can come in and have something free from them.
When they say no and/or ask why, provide their same lame-ass excuse and wait.
Repeat until the point is made or the customer finally just walks away.
How wicked would that be? Just watching someone stand there trying to figure out what in the hell I was talking about. But think about it. It is unilaterally valid.
I can't go into a clothing store and ask for a refund because the shirt didn't look good on me or someone didn't like it.
There is no telling the car salesman that you're only going to give him $20,000 for the $35,000 car.
Hell, you can't tell the minimum wage warrior at Tim Horton's that you're only going to give him $1.55 for an extra large double double. You can give him your $1.55 alright. D'you know what you'll get? The large coffee you can pay for.
Nothing is free in this world. Why in the hell do you think that applies to everyone but you?
You bunch of cheaps bastards!
Posts
