Why I Do What I Do

As your notification button on Facebook can attest, I've been pounding the keys a great deal lately and a few people have commented on how impressed they are with the dedication and drive I seem to be showing towards my craft.

I certainly appreciate the comments - we all know I love attention - but there is a much simply truth to why I do what I do every day.

Fear.


I don't want to be the guy who never chased his dreams. When I get old, I don't want to have to tell my kids about the tattoo on my wrist - the one that says "Freelance" - using the words, "I wanted to be a writer," only to have them respond, "But Daddy, you're a used car salesmen?"

There are too many people that I know who go through life hating their jobs and hating where they are and I can't be one of those people. At least not yet. Not without going balls to the wall with this writing thing for the next couple years, before those perplexed children above come along and I get into my mid-30s and realize I've been chasing the dream for far too long without results.

So I hammer away. I pepper your inbox with new blog posts from both sites, publish links of all the articles I've dropped on MMA sites and become friends with everyone I can on Facebook who may have some small way to help me get my foot in the door somewhere. And I write the book.

My friend and pseudo-editor Smitty said to me today that I'm one of the only people he knows who chases his dreams of writing with such vigor. He didn't use those exact words, but you know what I mean.

The real truth is that I'm tired.

I'm tired of talking about my ideas and my dreams.

I'm tired of working shitty jobs that don't pay anything.

I'm tired of writing for sites that don't pay me and putting in work that goes unnoticed.

Most of all, I'm tired of being afraid that all this is never going to amount to anything of consequence and have been a big waste of ten years.

So I write.

I write every day and I write with a renewed motivation and inspiration, in hopes of making a better life for me, my wife and those confused children that will certainly come along one of these days.

And for everyone who laughs when I pepper your inboxes and add "friends" I don't even truly know: check out Keyboard Kimura on Friday when I roll out my interview with light heavyweight prospect Cody "Donnybrook" Donovan...

He's one of those "friends" I just happened to make on The Shameless Self-Promotion Tour and now he's also my first official Mixed Martial Arts interview.

Chase your dreams while you can kids ...

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The Shameless Self-Promotion Tour Rolls On

Tossing up a Wedding Day shot in case any of you have yet to see them. Don't we look good?

Anyway...

At the start of the month, I put everyone on notice that I was making like Jay-Z and would like for you to "allow me to re-introduce myself" for your consumption.

Some of you have gotten the messages in other ways, maybe others have not, so on a slow Thursday, I thought I'd lay it all out there and have The 2009 Shameless Self-Promotion Tour roll through iBlog.

Here's where you can catch me:

• Keyboard Kimura - the new MMA website, started a couple weeks ago and delivering Mixed Martial Arts news and views each and every day.
  
  
• MMA4Real - another MMA site where I make sporadic appearances, usually delivering sarcastic news like the impending deterioration of my marriage or how to instantly ruin your own credibility.
  
  
• Twitter - Yes, I tweet. If you don't, you're not cool. Simple as that. I don't make the rules, I just follow them.
  
  
• Facebook Fan Page / Networked Blogs - Two Facebook options that allow you to get all your E. Spencer Kyte info without straying from the still-addictive social networking giant. All you have to do is join the Fan Page or click the "Follow this blog" box over on the right hand side and you'll get your info in your Facebook feed.

There is one other place in the works, but it's not ready yet. I know I've been saying cryptic things like this for some time now, but this is how things work. Everything takes time.

Check out the sites, join the following and get on board now.

The book proposal is just about done and once it gets out there, you'll want to be able to claim me as your own before the masses catch on!

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All Me To Reintroduce Myself...

If it can work for Jay-Z, it can work for me!

After having spent the last number of months working on other people's projects and not putting myself out there as much as I could, today marks the rebirth of E. Spencer Kyte, shameless self-promoter.

Since there is no one else who is going to promote my work with more insight, passion and drive than I can myself, why wouldn't I get down to business?

I'm Twitter'ing, a new and improved Facebook Fan Page is in the works and you'll be seeing my stuff pop up anywhere and everywhere I can get it, especially the stuff from over at Keyboard Kimura.

C'mon - you had to know I wasn't going to get through a post about self-promotion without mentioning the new site...

Welcome to the re-launch of E. Spencer Kyte.

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iBlog is on Vacation

We're outta here tomorrow and that means that I won't be posting anything for the next couple weeks.

What can I say - there is no way that I am blogging while I'm away on at my wedding and on my honeymoon, so you'll just have to wait until I get back.

Pictures will hit Facebook as soon as I get them on the computer and I'll be sure to tell you all about it in the first post post-wedding.

Have fun fuckers... see you when I'm married!

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10 Things I Learned This Week

1. Am I Unemployed?
Honestly, it feels a little that way, seeing as I worked three shifts at the bar this week and have only one this coming week. Granted, we're closed tomorrow and I've booked Sunday off for our trip, but still. Seems we planned this vacation at just the right time.

2. One More Game...
My Tar Heels have made it to the National Championship game and history is on our side. They crushed Michigan State on the same floor at the start of the year and while MSU was without one of their starters, he doesn't contribute the 30 point difference in the final score.

3. One More Week...
Then we leave for Ontario, do some shopping, do some relaxing and then head South. After all the headaches and all the frustrations, it's nice to be this close to everything finally coming together and working out. Sadly, I won't be able to let you know how it all turns out until after I get home.

4. I Know I Had a Fiancee Around Here Somewhere
Sarah and I have been on complete opposites lately and I barely get to see her. It's weird; we say hi in the morning when she gets off nights and bye in the evening when she's heading back in. Other than that, she's sleeping when I'm up and vice versa. This is another reason this vacation is so needed... I need to spend time with the wife!

5. How Am I Going to Leave This Dog?
With Sarah and I being on opposites, me and Cool Hand have rekindled our best friend relationship and I have no idea how I'm going to go without my ridiculously cute and entertaining Pug for almost three weeks. Any suggestions?

6. People See What They Want to See
Seems I pissed off a good portion of the population of Kimberley this week by calling out the city on their lack of support for Relay for Life. What's funny is that I didn't say anything about previous and current volunteers or claim all the committee members were behind me on this, but that seems to be the overwhelming reaction. Oh well, it makes writing this week's piece a little easier since I now need to clarify that the column is and always will be all about me.

7. How Bad Is It That I Can't Wait to Go to Chapters?
Seriously, outside of the twenty minutes I spent shuffling around one of the locations in Calgary when I was there a couple weeks back, it's been six months sans Chapters and I'm dying. All I want to do is compile a list of books to read, get a venti from The Bucks and rock the comfy chairs for an afternoon. I don't care if we do anything else while we're in Ontario, so long as I get my Chapters fix.

8. Are You Sick of Social Networking Too?
Remember when Facebook came out and we were all addicted? Are you over that too? Don't get me wrong, I still check it a couple times a day, but I don't poke people, I barely have any friend requests anymore and I don't miss it at all. Same with Twitter. I can't get into it. I'm just done with computer friendship and personal life notifications. Call me, email me, write me a letter...

9. Spring and Summer are Going to be Gorgeous
I don't know this for a fact, but judging by today, I'm going to love being here this summer. It's gorgeous - shining sun, probably not that hot since we're up in the mountains, great natural scenery and golf courses galore. Only detraction is the stupid deer... they aren't even back out en masse yet and I'm already angry with them...

10. Some Good TV Coming Out
A couple new shows I'm looking forward to debut this week. Southland and The Unusuals are both cop shows, but they're very different and both very interesting to me. The bad guy from SWAT is in The Unusuals and Ryan from The OC stars in Southland. Too bad I think they're on the same night...

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Has Facebook Jumped the Shark?

Some of you out there who hate the social networking supersite will say that it was never relevant in the first place, but millions of user can't be entirely wrong.

I will say, however, that with all the new applications and new look recently unveiled, I'm starting to wonder if Facebook's time has come and passed.

Case in point - Blabble.

The picture of my beautiful niece Gracie Lou is my first foray into the tool.

The premise of it is quite simple really: you can now add speech bubbles to any picture in your photo albums. So instead of just having the caption you could always use, now you can have each person saying something.

Neat-o, hey?

Not really. It's kind of overkill to me.

In fact, many of the Facebook changes over the last couple months seem like bad moves to me and have lessened my time spent there, as it has many others I suspect.

Instead of being an entertaining interaction tool to keep in touch and stalk old girlfriends, now you get spam wall posts, advertisements out the yin yang and notifications of notifications that you already received notification about.

My Facebook Fan Page was a casualty of war a couple months ago and with the dwindling amount of time I spend on my actual profile page these days, it may go the way of the dodo in the very near future as well.

As always, I love to hear your thoughts on this...

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10 Things I Learned This Week

1. Having a Dog is...
Super fun, always amusing and somewhat tiring. It's full of early mornings and collecting poop, but totally worth it for the smile that comes to Luke's face when you give him just a little bit of attention. Plus, it's pretty cool having a sidekick.

2. Why Wasn't I Waiting Tables All Along?
Well, for starters, I couldn't even manage an interview to be a server out East, but now that I'm home and passing out plates at Montana's, I wonder why I even wasted a couple weeks at Blockbuster in the first place. The hourly wage ($7.60) is a little short, but when I can smash out 5 1/2 hours last night and make $10+/hour in tips, everything tends to even itself out.

3. Take Your Complaints Elsewhere
I'm the new guy, not the complaint department. This has somehow escaped some of my cookhouse colleagues who chose to unload their frustrations and frazzled minds on me during my shift last night. I don't care how rattled you are or whether you didn't want to serve people on the patio. If you're mad, talk to the manager, not me. I could care less.

4. Writing, Writing and More Writing
I've cranked out a lot of material over the last seven days: a full slate of posts here, an Epic piece that'll be posted tomorrow, five different Blue Jays articles and my initial assignment for Trot Magazine. That's fourteen pieces over the last week! Crazy thing is, I'm still looking for more...

5. Triple Crown Let Down
Big Brown's bid to collect the Triple Crown ended with a last place finish yesterday in The Belmont. A huge longshot (38-1) named Da'Tara collected the win. Big Brown's trainer Rick Dutrow didn't have much to say, in part because he was still pulling his foot out of his mouth after saying a win for his charge was all but assured.

6. No One Believes I'm 29
Person X: How old are you?
Me: 29.
Person X: Fuck off! Really?
That is how every age related conversation goes for me... and I love it! I'm pretty sure that my inability to grow a proper beard and the fact that when clean shaved I have the second biggest baby-face in the world (next to my brother) has something to do with it.

7. Random Facebook Reconnects
Had my most random Facebook moment in some time Friday afternoon. A guy that I was friends with in Grade 2 and 3 sent me a message, doing the "Are you the guy who used to live down the street from me?" When I confirmed that I was, the Pultizer Prize winning response I got back was, "Crazy." That was it. Pretty much pointless...

8. I Still Don't Pay For Movies
When I told the people at Blockbuster here in London I was leaving, everyone told me I was crazy giving up my ten free rentals. Aside from the fact that driving across town to work in the most boring store in the history of stores had no appeal to me, getting free movies wasn't a big deal either - we've got an unscrambled dish. I've been watching all the movies I missed during my last few weeks at Blockbuster, without the hassle of stupid customers and long hours. Allow me to recommend Lars and the Real Girl and Charlie Wilson's War. Ryan Gosling and Philip Seymour Hoffman are terrific as usual.

9. Sarah is a Handier Man than I
There has been a ceiling fan sitting in a box on our floor since Sarah arrived. Earlier this week, when the humidity finally reached the unbearable level it will remain at for the next three months, we decided the fan had to go up. And by we, I mean Sarah. She took it out, she read the instructions, she assembled it and she mounted it to the ceiling. I took my turn every so often, only to step off the chair (until I broke it) or ladder cursing. She handles the handy work, I handle the decorating... that's just how we roll!

10. Fearless Prediction: Kobe & Co. Will Win It All
I don't care that they're down 0-1. I don't care that Paul Pierce came back from being shot in Game 1. Wait? It was only a knee injury? Could have fooled me... None of that matters. LA has The Zen Master, the talent to win on the road and, most importantly, Kobe Bean Bryant. As much as I don't particularly like him, there is no denying that Kobe is awesome. He was off in Game 1, but he'll make adjustments and come back even stronger tonight in Game 2. If LA wins this one, they might not have to head back to Boston...

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The Bullshit Button

Meet The Bullshit Button.

It's purpose? To act as a symbol of my disapproval with something, anything, that you and I all know is, well, bullshit.

Someone calls Tom Cruise the Greatest Actor of his Generation. Bullshit Button.

Britney Spears claims she's a great mother. Bullshit Button.

People argue that No Country for Old Men isn't a great movie. Bullshit Button... and we're fighting.

Got it? Good.

So why introduce my latest inspirational device here at iBlog to you today of all days? Because The Observer posted a list on their website yesterday listing "The World's 50 Most Powerful Blogs" and guess who didn't crack the list?

Bullshit I tell you!

I get 30 hits a day, from two different countries and have 35 loyal supporters (or friends on Facebook who feel sorry for me) and yet I can't manage to beat out the World of Warcraft Insider blog or Stylebubble, where some chick named Susie Lau confesses about her consumerism? Complete and utter bullshit.

Maybe we need a format change here at iBlog.

Maybe instead of my musical preferences, movie reviews and the occasional social commentary I should just start tossing up pictures of celebrities with MS Paint scribblings all over them...

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This Is The Last Time I'll Mention The Facebook Fan Club

You have my word.

I have to stop. It's too damn depressing.

I'm no Mathlete, but even I know that 10 fans out of 458 "friends" isn't a very good batting average.

Thanks to the ten of you who have signed up. Even though you don't ever post anything on the page, it means a lot to me to know that you took the 1.3 seconds it takes to click Become a Fan.

D'you know what really sucks about it? Some of the people who aren't on board as of yet. You know, like my mother. Or my brother. Or any member of my family for that matter. Not even one member of my extended family has joined.

My old university roommate Amy, she's a fan of Kevin Smith, but not me.

My mate Tony from work - Danny Williams supporter. Spencer Kyte supporter, not so much. Though his wife is...

************

Yes. I really am this much of an insecure little girl.

Even though I know over 1000 people have stopped by this blog in a little over three months, I still have this weird need to know that people actually like what I do.

Intrinsic satisfaction be damned... I want my Sally Field moment where I can shout "You like me! You really like me!" and know that more than ten people are saying yes.

************

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10 Things I Learned This Week

Those of you who have been paying attention or making regular Sunday visits will notice a slight change in the title this week and each week moving forward. Tossing the 10 up there just feels right. Besides, now you know how many points of nonsense you have to scroll through before reaching the end.

1. Heath Ledger (1979 - 2008)
Easily the most shocking thing I learned this week was that one of my favourite actors and one of the best of our time died. It was weird, coming home and being sitting here typing as Sarah questioned me, "Heath Ledger is dead?" stemming from the MSN name of one of her classmates. I couldn't Google his name fast enough, before finding out he had in fact been found dead earlier in the day. Say what you will about Brokeback Mountain, but just know that the performance Ledger gives in that film is one of the best ever. RIP Heath...

2. I'm All For Criticism
But please, if you're going to knock something I write, I ask two things of you: (1) at least be correct in your criticisms and (2) at least be original enough to give yourself a name. Like Captain Nemo a couple posts back. One, he pointed out my error in using the word "illicit" when I obviously meant "elicit" and two, he has a name. I have no idea who he is, but from here on out, Captain Nemo is our Grammar Police. I would much rather have Captain Nemo, Grammar Police telling me I'm a horrible speller and need to consult a dictionary than some Anonymous stranger incorrectly calling my latest Rundown a rip-off of the Stop Loss IMDB page.

3. Days Like Today Are The Best Days
Basically, I have written two articles, now three counting this one, had a killer breakfast, watched three movies (Murderball, Lost Boys of Sudan and the end of Superbad) and some Season Four of Friends, read a little and lounged around on the couch with the missus. What more could a guy ask for? The plan for tonight? A little more of all of the above... VERY NICE!

4. 27 Dresses: Cute Movie, Great Soundtrack
Listen, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out exactly what is going to happen in 27 Dresses, but even though you know where it'll end up, the journey is still fairly fun. Katherine Heigl has just suddenly become the new Romantic Comedy chick and that's a good thing because really, no one needs any more Mandy Moore or Sarah Jessica Parker, though a little more Rachel McAdams would be nice. Anyhow, best part of the movie, aside from me laughing to myself that at any moment James Marsden's eyes were going to go red and he was going to blast everyone - I mean, he is Cyclops after all - was the soundtrack. Nicely done people. A little Mark Ronson / Amy Winehouse "Valerie," a little Natasha Bedingfield "Who Knows" and a little Ray LaMontange "Be Here Now," which elicited an immediate "great song" call. Overall, it's a 7... nothing great, far from horrible.

5. Add Indy to My List of Must-See Movies
We've got the latest issue of Vanity Fair in the Reading Room and one of the feature articles is an interview with Steven Spielberg and George Lucas about the next Indiana Jones film and how it's taken years to get it done. Regardless of the schmaltz of the last Indy film and the fact that people are already grumbling about the inclusion of Shia LeBeouf, reportedly as Indy's son, I'm going to see this movie. It seems like I add another movie to my "Must See" List every day...

6. Too Much Super Bowl News
D'you know what really sucks about there being a full week between the participants for the big dance being determined and the big dance actually taking place? Not today when there is no football to watch, but the two weeks of stupidity in the media about every little thing that happens. Seriously, the Tom Brady walking cast things shouldn't be an issue to anyone. It's not as if there is even a 1% chance that he doesn't take every single snap in Arizona next Sunday.

7. Before May, There Might Be A Murder Upstairs
Honestly, if the 24-7 stomping and banging on the floor doesn't stop some time soon, in the words of Russell Peters' father, "Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad." I understand the 3-year-old likes to run around, but a 3-year-old doesn't sound like a herd of thunderous elephants. At least twice a day the lights in the living room do the "someone upstairs just got bodyslammed to the floor" flicker.

8. Making My Brother Laugh is Still One of My Biggest Goals in Life
Earlier this week, he posted some Billy Joel lyrics on his girlfriend Brookie's Facebook page. Since they are both friends of mine - though part of the 448 so-called "friends" who aren't fans yet - I got the update in my little Stalker feed. Normally, I let those things slide, as 95% of the info is like tits on a bull to me, but this was an opportunity. Dropped a little comment on the wall about Pete's message making me throw up in my mouth a little bit and waited... Two days later, mission accomplished. Pete sent me a "that threw up in my mouth a little made me piss myself laughing." Typical younger brother, always trying to impress his big brother.

9. The Whole City Shutting Down Means One Thing
No, not stay the fuck home and get drunk by the fire. Rather, LET'S ALL GO TO BLOCKBUSTER! Thursday, we got smashed with a snowstorm that literally shut down all of St. Johns, except for the taxi cabs and the movie stores. Gotta love the bastards who can't drive to work because it's too dangerous out but are able to come in and rent copy after copy of Good Luck Chuck. I stood behind my cash register for five solid hours sans break that day, putting on a brave face while countless people told me how much it sucks that we had to stay open. D'you know what retards? It's your goddamn fault. If you freaks would just stay the fuck home and get drunk by the fire, maybe I could do the same and not have to search the Drop Box for a copy of Saw 4 for you...

10. Off The Wagon
Bought a pack of darts this week. Thursday, on the way to work actually. Was one of those weeks. I know - excuses, excuses, blah blah blah. Piss off. I wanted a smoke. The way I look at it, I went a month without after having smoked for the last 13 years. Cut me some slack. I'll shut it down again once the pack is gone and get back to the Tattoo Plan. But as for now, it's time for a smoke...

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Things I Learned This Week

1. Losing Your Luggage Isn't All Bad
My man Deuce, the one with the fire-filled comment directed at John Q. Anonymous a couple pieces back, had his luggage "misplaced" flying home from Vancouver over the New Year. As it turns out, because he used his credit card to book the flight, said credit card company gives him a $100/day clothing allowance for his troubles to a maximum of five days. Needless to say, Deuce is going shopping in the very near future to replace his lost wardrobe. You should maybe go on Tuesday Deuce. I'm off. I could go with you. I'm good at shopping.

2. Get Everything Done Before You Open the First Beer
Because if you don't, you'll finish the first beer and open the second and then next thing you know, you've drank the entire 8-pack of Guinness that was supposed to last you the night, you didn't end up writing that blog post you were planning (Sorry Everyone!) and you're half in the bag by the time you're ready to start making dinner. The moral of the story? I got drunk last night...

3. I Am, In Fact, A Sally
Tapped out somewhere around 12:30 last night. Yep, 12:30. That's it. Deuce was still chugging along and Sarah was well into Drunk Sarah mode where she could drink lighter fluid and not feel a thing. As for me, I had puked a little and was ready to pack it in before the clock hit 1 AM. What the hell has happened to me? I blame working nine days in a row at Blockbuster and being woken up at 9 AM by the rampaging toddler upstairs, but really, that's just the kind of thing a Sally who tapped out before 1 AM would be expected to say. I'll try to do better next time.

4. Canadian Sports Media Sucks
D'you know what's awesome? When the two best teams in all of hockey face off against one another, one of them being from the Nation's Capital, the other being my Red Wings, and every sports outlet in this country leads with the litany of problems plaguing the Toronto Maple Leafs. Are you shitting me? I don't care that you're the biggest city in the country and have the most loyal fans in the world. The Leafs are shit and everyone, especially Leafs fans, need to start realizing this.

5. You Like Me! You Really Like Me!
This ode to Sally Field brought to you by the nine - count'em 9! - Fans of E. Spencer Kyte on Facebook. Much thanks to Sarah Cole, AJ Godson, Lance Doucette, Erin Dillon, Ashley Clements, David Chalk, Mark Townsend and Bryan Buchanan for signing up. A bigger shout out goes to Chalk's friend Galina who is the only person not connected to me in some way, shape or form who has joined. You guys and gals rock! To the rest of you, what the fuck is the matter with you? Join already bitches... especially you Smitty!

6. Sarah's Scrabble Supremacy is Failing
I've got two wins in a row and counting. She'll tell you I have one win in a row and we quit the game before that, but the truth is she lost interest and started chatting on MSN for the simple reason that she was getting her ass handed to her and is so competitive that she would rather quit than actually admit defeat.

7. I Hate The Simpson Sisters
Ashley is engaged to Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy, whose heartbroken tales of suburban emo misery I greatly enjoy. How can one write about being miserable and having a shitty life if you in fact aren't miserable and don't have a shitty life? Fall Out Boy will never be the same. Big sister Jessica could be the blame for an even bigger screw up if things don't go well for the Dallas Cowboys this afternoon. Should her current boyfriend Tony Romo and his teammates shit the bed against the New York Football Giants, it won't be the Giants who get credit for playing well, it'll be Yoko Simpson taking the blame for dragging Tony off to Cancun this week when he should have been focusing on football. Us media types are retarded... Jessica also makes me puke a little in my mouth for introducing the world at large to Nick Lachey, which in turn made his stupid little brother Drew a C-List Celebrity.

8. Kevin Smith Doesn't Reply to MySpace Messages
So there is a push to get the man who is responsible for Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy et al out to Memorial University for a Q&A a la his An Evening With series. Proving that Facebook is taking over the world, there is a group for it. Yes, I'm a member of said group. I am also a former MySpace user and have Kevin Smith on my friend list, so I thought I would send him a message to see if I could drum up some information on how one would go about sorting something like this out. That was ten days ago and I've got nothing. I'm sure there is a logical explanation - namely that he is a busy man who gets thousands of messages a day polluting his Inbox - but still. I'll keep you posted on the status... ten days and counting.

9. Apparently, Writing A Funny Movie that Lasts Longer Than 96 Minutes is Hard Work
Brought home three new comedy releases this weekend - Mr. Woodcock, Good Luck Chuck and The Ten. None of them are more than 96 minutes long and none of them are all that funny. Woodcock was decent enough. Billy Bob plays a bastard pretty well and Amy Poehler needs to get even more work as she is one of the funniest women around. You all know how I feel about Dane Cook, so that doesn't need to be rehashed and The Ten was just plain shitty. I suppose I should be thankful that none of them cost me more than an hour and a half of my life, but I mean, is it really that hard to come up with a new, funny idea and make it work for, heaven forbid, 120 minutes?

10. The People of New Hampshire Are Racist
While it's probably not very truthful, I need some kind of explanation of why Hilary Clinton won the NH Primary and not The Next President of the United States Barack Obama. Playing the race card seems like the most ridiculous notion, so I'll go with that. On a sad note, it's hilarious to me that I care a lot more about US Politics than I do Canadian Politics. Maybe it's because of the sorry state of Canadian Politics. I mean, who doesn't love powerless Minority Governments?!

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Working Interferes With Working

The title might sound like the most ridiculous thing anyone can say, but in my life, it is 100% accurate because my life pretty much revolves around work in some way, shape or form.

For those not 100% up to speed:

I work 30-40 hours a week as a Shift Leader at Blockbuster Video. As I've said before, it's not glamorous, but I love the people I work with and the free movies are a good perk, plus the freakshow customers make for interesting blog material on a slow news day. This is the work that is deemed interference.

The work that is interfered with is, of course, my writing. At present count, there are three jobs (Bugs & Cranks, Epic Carnival and Passion Magazine), two side projects (This Blog and Nudigs, the real estate site I occasionally contribute to) and three aspirations that aren't getting the time they deserve (my book, my screenplay and a book a friend would like me to help him write).

Now I know what you're thinking: How much time can it possibly take to sit down and churn out the drivel that I throw up on this site on a daily basis? The answer, in all honesty, is not that long, at least not here. But the B&C and Epic work takes a little more time, Passion is somewhat labor intensive, although only in bi-monthly intervals and there is the simple fact that the rest of life needs to take place as well. You know, little things like eating, sleeping, spending time with Sarah that isn't her sitting on the couch looking at my back as I sit here typing feverishly.

Basically, I'm just whining. Life dictates that I need to earn money to pay the bills et al and since writing doesn't provide financial security as of yet, those 35-40 hours rockin' the Block are very much required, no matter how much I want to try to justify staying home to work on my craft.

What does all of this mean to you? Nothing probably, unless you or someone you know owns or operates a publishing company, magazine, newspaper or website that wants to pay me the equivalent of my Blockbuster earnings so that I can sit at home in my housecoat all day telling everyone I'm a writer.

Oh - you could also help boost the profile by buying up copies of Passion, checking out all my stuff on all my sites and becoming a fan on Facebook, but that's just me shamelessly self-promoting...

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Things I Learned This Week

You know what? This has actually been a fairly mild mannered week all things considered. I mean, I didn't hit anymore deer, we're all moved in and work wasn't actually that bad. Still, life is always educational.

1. I Have The Ability To Change People
Contrary to the popular belief that people can only change if they want to, I present my girlfriend, Sarah, as my exhibit that I have transformative powers, if transformative is even a word. When we met, she was quiet, never swore and was financially responsible. Seventeen months later, she's only quiet when she is uncomfortable, swears with great regularity - especially at the computer - and has developed an affinity for spending money. To hell with popular beliefs... I have the power!

2. Exercise Blows
Yeah, this isn't so much a "Thing I Learned This Week" as it is an "Affirmation of Something I Already Knew," but either way, it fits. I now walk to and from work pretty much every day. It's not that far, doesn't take that long and is probably going to help me with that whole get in shape resolution of mine. But still, I hate it. I hate the cold to begin with, so knowing that I have to trudge my fat ass up hill 50% of the way each way in the bitter cold of The Rock isn't very appealing. Doesn't help that my new boots aren't worn in yet either, so I get to work and have a bloody mess of a heal every day. Stupid deer ruining our car and making me exercise!

3. New Year, Same Morons Part I
2008 hasn't decreased the amount of mouth-breathing idiots that flock to Blockbuster on a daily basis. In fact, thus far, 2008 has been a banner year for morons. Example 1: The Crotchety Old Lady who pays no attention to the fact that there is a lineup, walks up to my cash and demands to know where our Prison Section is, as if we have an entire area devoted to three crappy Steven Seagal prison movies and Blood In, Blood Out. What makes her even better is that she kept at it for twenty minutes, demanding I pick out some prison movies for her as if I have them all committed to memory before she told someone on the other end of her cell phone that I was being an asshole. Yes, I was standing right next to her when she said it. Wicked, eh?

4. New Year, Same Morons Part II
A Random Guy who came in yesterday and asked if we had a section of adult magazines. What The Fuck Dude? I could understand asking about skin flicks - and it happens with some frequency - but what part of our store being called Blockbuster Video makes you think we would possibly have a stack of spank mags tucked away in a corner of the store, maybe next to the kid's section just for shits and giggles? Seriously...

5. My Fan Base Stands at 2
Now you and I know that that isn't exactly true, because I know exactly how many people have visited this here site in the past couple weeks and it's a lot more than two, but I have this little Facebook Exercise in Narcissism set up where people can click a link and "Become a Fan of... E.Spencer Kyte, Writer" and there are currently two such people. One is Sarah, who strongly objected to the exercise and joined only because she knew I would hold a grudge against her until she did and the other is my friend AJ from Bugs & Cranks. My question to you reading this with a Facebook Account - which is pretty much everyone in the world now, no? - is what the hell are you waiting for?

6. Anonymous Commentors Piss Me Off
Since I started this little venture, no one had posted a comment anonymously, until some douchebag dropped one on the Dishonour Roll: Phil Kyte post criticizing my slagging the Old Man in - gasp - a blog post! Here's what comes to mind: it's either (a) a member of my extended family who disagrees with my slagging the Old Man in general, yet alone on my blog or (b) some fuckwad who likes to comment on what other people do from the shadows of anonymity because he/she doesn't want anyone to know who they are. Grow a sack and identify yourself Anonymous one, then we can talk.

7. I Don't Miss TV
I thought this Writer's Strike would have screwed things up for me a little, but really, I haven't missed television at all. The shows I like - aside from Grey's - have remained on the air and since I've been working a great deal and doing a ton of unpacking, writing and playing NBA Live 08, I haven't missed it all that much. That being said, I'm pumped that Grey's is back as on Thursday.

8. If This Writing Thing Doesn't Work Out, I'm Becoming a Chef
Nothing compares to the feeling I get after completing a piece and seeing it take off, either in print in Passion or getting hits and votes on the 'Net. The only thing mildly similar is how satisfying it is to whip up a delicious meal from scratch, sit down and enjoy it. Fired off a couple nice ones in the last ten days of being in the new house and should writing not pan out, becoming a chef is an option. Of course, writing is going to pan out... but I might just take a couple cooking classes on the side anyway.

9. I'm A Walking Pop Culture Quote Machine...
And very few people have any idea what the hell I'm talking about half of the time. I use lines from Friends on a daily basis and have to put them in context even for the Friends Die Hards I'm surrounded by (Sarah, Ash, Erin & Kim). When someone calls Blockbuster and refuses to speak, I break out the "Baxter? Is that you? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee" and everyone looks at me like I'm an idiot. Admittedly, I am a bit of an idiot, but still.

10. I Don't Understand Why People Are Shocked When I Know What Movie They're Talking About
I spend 40 hours a week at Blockbuster goddamn Video and have been a movie buff for a long time before that, so why is it so shocking that I know which movie you're looking for when you tell me who is in it, what it's about and roughly when it came out? This is what I do people. It works with music and sports too. Feel free to challenge me whenever you're bored...

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My Exercise in Narcissism

You know what's fun? Building a self-referential Facebook profile of yourself...

That's how I've spent the better part of my morning, creating the E.Spencer Kyte Facebook page, where for the low low price of nothing, you too can click a button and become a fan of little, old me.

All joking aside, this is something I have been thinking of doing since my colleague from Bugs & Cranks AJ hooked up a B&C Page on The 'book. It's just a spot where you can collect updates on what's going on, like, say, I dunno, the relaunch of Passion Magazine tomorrow featuring none other than me! Sorry, I'm a little excited.

I decided to go with a Facebook site over MySpace for a couple reasons:

1. I'm always on Facebook anyway and I have a lot more friends there than on MySpace
2. MySpace seems to send me a lot of porn / "Hi, Spencer, I saw your profile" crap
3. I really do think that Facebook has the staying power necessary to become an outstanding networking and social interaction medium

Plus, once I accumulate clippings and pictures and whatnot, it gives me somewhere easy to post everything, I can run a link to the four sites from the page and if you have any incriminating pictures of me, you now have somewhere to put them for everyone to see. I know someone out there from the St. Jerome's days has a picture of me dressed as Britney Spears...

Anyhoo - drop by the new page, keep checking in here and if you ask me about the Britney Spears thing, I'll tell you...

OUT / ONE

P.S. If you can tell me who the picture is of and why it's here, you win a prize... I don't know what it is yet, but I'll think of something.

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Calling All Readers!

I'm wondering how many people actually stop by and read this bad boy and what and where my demographic hails from. There are a handful of people that I know for sure - Sarah, a couple of the Bugs, the ladies from Blockbuster - and I've already expressed my appreciation accordingly to them. But is that it?

I sure hope not, because it would really suck if I was only pulling seven readers, all of whom feel somewhat obligated to read my ramblings because they know/work/live with me. So here is what I am proposing:

Drop me a little "Hello" in the comments, so I can know a little more about you. Nothing major - who you are, where you're from, how you got here and let's say, your favourite musician. Don't know, something about this idea just makes me feel a little more connected with the people who are taking time out of their day to read what I think and I want to get to know each of you a little bit more. Except Chalk... I know enough about you!

Plus - I'm getting tired of getting messages on my Facebook Wall telling me how much you like / disagree / can't stand my blog while the "Comments Section" always reads ZERO.

Let's do something about that people and I'll get to know you a little more in the process.

OUT
N
E

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