10 Things I Learned This Week

1. You Can Call Me a Liar If You Like...

But you'd be dead wrong because I ain't smoked since our plane touched down here in BC. Not one dart, not even for my birthday or anything. In fact, I've even turned down smokes while at work this week. Yeah, I'm patting myself on the back again...

2. Slow Doesn't Quite Cover It

I'm pretty sure that we would be okay at work with just one person, that's how quiet things are up this way right now. I'm on days and days are generally quiet this time of year, but having four people on shift to cover four tables over the "Lunch Rush" is pretty silly. That being said, I rocked two hours solo today and finally made a little money.

3. I'm Not The Same Spencer

It's funny how many people imagine that I'm the same alcoholic retard they knew during university even though that was a long time ago now. Lots of people expected me to be going out and getting blackout drunk, even though I know exactly three people in this town.

4. Johnny Domestic is Coming

Slowly but surely, my alter ego Johnny Domestic is starting to make his mark out here. Vacuuming, dishes, laundry, dog-walking - I do it all. And let us not forget cooking because that's actually where I'm at my best. Two years from now, Johnny Domestic will have taken over...

5. Zack & Miri

Rolled into Cranbrook last night to catch Kevin Smith's latest and were not disappointed. Without spoiling anything, I'll say there were a bunch of laughs and Craig Robinson needs to be in more movies because he was awesome. So was Tisha Campbell-Martin who used to be Gina on Martin back in the day. Weirdest part of the flick - Jason Mewes. Dude looks so different now that he's off the junk. That and he's pretty close to naked for most of the movie, so that there's that too.

6. Two Days Until History is Made

On Tuesday night, the course of history will forever be changed and I am so excited about it. Barring something insane happening, Barack Obama will win the US Presidential Election and we'll witness the first black President of the United States. Expect something later on in the week about this and why I think it is so important to us as a people and a culture, regardless of where we live.

7. Stuff is Expensive

It's easy to plan and budget for big things, the items you know for sure you're going to need. That part is simple. What you never think about is all those stupid little things that you take for granted because they've just been around forever. That stuff adds up. We've spent more money on little things like that in the last two weeks than we have on furniture, entertainment and dining out combined. Stupid can opener and cheese grater...

8. Two, Maybe Three Days Tops

If everything goes according to Hoyle, the landlord will have all his things out of here by Wednesday night at the latest. That means all the boxes that are piled up in front of the window will get unpacked, the new desk (my new desk) will get assembled and my computer - my precious, precious computer - will be back up and running before the weekend. As much as we're going to look super ghetto for the next little while - what with one futon and a foam mattress on the floor being our only furniture - at least it will all be ours and we can start building.

9. Welcome Back Basketball!

Nice to see the NBA back in business and even nicer to see the Raptors out to a 3-0 start thus far. Chris Bosh is playing like a man possessed out of the gate and I truly believe that a healthy Jermaine O'Neal makes the Raps a legit contender in the East.

10. Withdraw Symptoms

I don't know what I'm going to do. There isn't a Chapters even remotely close to us. There's Starbucks and I wasted a great deal of time there on Monday waiting for Sarah to finish work, but it's no where near the same. The only bookstore I've seen so far is a tiny little Coles in "The Mall" which is better described as a shopping center. Malls have lots of stores that you want to buy things in; the biggest store in this "mall" is Zellers.

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10 Things I Learned This Week

1. Having a Dog is...
Super fun, always amusing and somewhat tiring. It's full of early mornings and collecting poop, but totally worth it for the smile that comes to Luke's face when you give him just a little bit of attention. Plus, it's pretty cool having a sidekick.

2. Why Wasn't I Waiting Tables All Along?
Well, for starters, I couldn't even manage an interview to be a server out East, but now that I'm home and passing out plates at Montana's, I wonder why I even wasted a couple weeks at Blockbuster in the first place. The hourly wage ($7.60) is a little short, but when I can smash out 5 1/2 hours last night and make $10+/hour in tips, everything tends to even itself out.

3. Take Your Complaints Elsewhere
I'm the new guy, not the complaint department. This has somehow escaped some of my cookhouse colleagues who chose to unload their frustrations and frazzled minds on me during my shift last night. I don't care how rattled you are or whether you didn't want to serve people on the patio. If you're mad, talk to the manager, not me. I could care less.

4. Writing, Writing and More Writing
I've cranked out a lot of material over the last seven days: a full slate of posts here, an Epic piece that'll be posted tomorrow, five different Blue Jays articles and my initial assignment for Trot Magazine. That's fourteen pieces over the last week! Crazy thing is, I'm still looking for more...

5. Triple Crown Let Down
Big Brown's bid to collect the Triple Crown ended with a last place finish yesterday in The Belmont. A huge longshot (38-1) named Da'Tara collected the win. Big Brown's trainer Rick Dutrow didn't have much to say, in part because he was still pulling his foot out of his mouth after saying a win for his charge was all but assured.

6. No One Believes I'm 29
Person X: How old are you?
Me: 29.
Person X: Fuck off! Really?
That is how every age related conversation goes for me... and I love it! I'm pretty sure that my inability to grow a proper beard and the fact that when clean shaved I have the second biggest baby-face in the world (next to my brother) has something to do with it.

7. Random Facebook Reconnects
Had my most random Facebook moment in some time Friday afternoon. A guy that I was friends with in Grade 2 and 3 sent me a message, doing the "Are you the guy who used to live down the street from me?" When I confirmed that I was, the Pultizer Prize winning response I got back was, "Crazy." That was it. Pretty much pointless...

8. I Still Don't Pay For Movies
When I told the people at Blockbuster here in London I was leaving, everyone told me I was crazy giving up my ten free rentals. Aside from the fact that driving across town to work in the most boring store in the history of stores had no appeal to me, getting free movies wasn't a big deal either - we've got an unscrambled dish. I've been watching all the movies I missed during my last few weeks at Blockbuster, without the hassle of stupid customers and long hours. Allow me to recommend Lars and the Real Girl and Charlie Wilson's War. Ryan Gosling and Philip Seymour Hoffman are terrific as usual.

9. Sarah is a Handier Man than I
There has been a ceiling fan sitting in a box on our floor since Sarah arrived. Earlier this week, when the humidity finally reached the unbearable level it will remain at for the next three months, we decided the fan had to go up. And by we, I mean Sarah. She took it out, she read the instructions, she assembled it and she mounted it to the ceiling. I took my turn every so often, only to step off the chair (until I broke it) or ladder cursing. She handles the handy work, I handle the decorating... that's just how we roll!

10. Fearless Prediction: Kobe & Co. Will Win It All
I don't care that they're down 0-1. I don't care that Paul Pierce came back from being shot in Game 1. Wait? It was only a knee injury? Could have fooled me... None of that matters. LA has The Zen Master, the talent to win on the road and, most importantly, Kobe Bean Bryant. As much as I don't particularly like him, there is no denying that Kobe is awesome. He was off in Game 1, but he'll make adjustments and come back even stronger tonight in Game 2. If LA wins this one, they might not have to head back to Boston...

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10 Things I Learned This Week

Oh what a busy week it has been...

1. Remote Blogging - Not My Cup O' Tea
This installment is coming to you from the Health Sciences Library at Memorial University. Sarah's working on a project and since I need to get this done, I figured doing this now would be more productive than spending the next thirty minutes reading up on my Tar Heels victory at ESPN. That being said, this feels very strange. There are a bunch of people around, I don't have my folder full of pictures (hence the lack of Albert's presence this week) and I'm dressed, as opposed to being decked out in my housecoat and woobs. And for the record, my cup o'tea is Tetley's Jasmin Green Tea with nothing added.

2. Trendsetting - The Bad
Back to back Sunday's wrapped around the toilet bowl, puking my guts out. Unlike last Sunday, today had nothing to do with consuming an entire bottle of Vodka free from mix. This time, the cream that was just a little off - though well before the expiry date - got the best of me. Hopefully, this trend ends real soon.

3. Trendsetting - The Good
Got the mohawk shaved off today - I'm getting my professional headshots done tomorrow and the mohawk just wouldn't be a good look. That being said, the three-year-old boy in the chair next to me loved it and made the woman doing his hair turn his chair so he could watch me get my head shaved. Apparently he requested a mohawk when his parents brought him in. To this kid, I was a fashion icon, if only for the three minutes it took to remove my stripe of hair.

4. So Guess Who Is In The Final Four?
The North Carolina Tar Heels... BOO-YA! My boys played real well last night, fending off a pesky and impressive Louisville team that cut a 12 point halftime lead to zero before Psycho T & Co. put the game on ice down the stretch. Next up, the winner of the Kansas v. Davidson game today.

5. Tourney Tidbits
a.) Stephen Curry will be a solid pro and yes, he will find a way to get his shot off. He's Rip Hamilton, minus the facial hair and Hannibal Lector mask. This kid has ice water in his veins.
b.) As great as Kevin Love has been - and he has been outstanding - I just fail to understand why a guy who cannot be stopped down low insists on paying outside as much as he does. Yes he can make the three and knock down jimmies, but he's unmatched in the block, so why not just keep going to the well?
c.) I still don't like Memphis. I just can't see them winning it all, probably because if I were on the opposite sideline, I would foul the shit out of them and take my chances with them at the line. 65% cuts it against the boys they've beaten thus far, but it won't work against any of the remaining teams.

6. Transfer Completed
Monday, I found out that the job in London I was told would be there for me wasn't really there for me. If you're a regular here you read the rage the following day. Tuesday night, I vented to my boss. Wednesday, he got on the phone and got the job done. I'm officially still Rockin' the Block, at least, until something better comes along. Shhhh - don't tell them though, okay?

7. My New Celebrity Friend
As I mentioned a couple Sundays back, Michael Musto, the Village Voice celebrity / gossip columnist, replied to a little email I sent him stemming from his Musto on Lohan on Monroe photo shoot. This week, I got to thinking he would make a great interview for the next issue of Passion - our Celebrity Issue - so off went another email. D'you know what? He's in, no questions asked! The idea hasn't gotten approved yet and even if it doesn't, I've got a new celebrity friend to bitch about Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears with.

8. April Is Going To Suck
Being home will be cool, but being away from Sarah for a month will blow. Not that I didn't know this would be the case before, but it's just so much closer now. We're both being awful sooky with each other, wanting to spend as much time together before our thirty day hiatus begins and that only makes it worse. But it's only a month - we managed the two months at the start of this relationship without any hassles; a month should be a breeze, right?

9. Tomorrow is Opening Day
Honestly, I'm not as pumped as I thought I would be. Technically, the season began this week in Japan and the Braves and Nats kick off the North American regular season tonight on ESPN, but tomorrow is Opening Day for the Jays and well, this year is already shaping up a lot like last year. BJ is hurt, so is our third basemen, Boston is a juggernaut and New York is New York. Plus, the Satan-less team in Tampa looks better than ever before. Thankfully, Baltimore is going to be horrible, so the Jays can't finish worse than fourth. How's that for early season optimism?

10. Business is Picking Up
Of course, the start of the regular season means a return to routine posts on Bugs & Cranks, not just about the Jays, but baseball business in general. The Epic posts have started to flow more frequently and have been garnering a little linkage as of late, I'm a lock for the next issue of Passion (Thanks Nicole... I won't disappoint!) and journeying back to Ontario can only mean increased exposure and opportunities too. Toss in the screenplay that started coming to life earlier in the week and the writing agenda is getting pretty packed. That being said, should anyone from the Kitchener Record be perusing this prose, there is always room to cover sports for your fine publication, so make sure you call me.

Have a great week everybody. Five more shifts and nine more sleeps until I leave the island...

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10 Things I Learned This Week

1. I Can't Drink Any More
There was a time when a night like Saturday wouldn't have hurt me one bit come Sunday morning. I would have gotten up, grabbed some Mickey D's and chilled out on the couch nursing a very small hangover. Instead, I got my ass kicked. Still got the Mickey D's, still sacked out on the couch all day, but the hangover was gigantic.

2. Done
With Saturday producing the Sunday that it did, I've decided to hang up the drinking on a fairly permanent basis. A couple beers here and there with the lads or over dinner or whatever is still very much happening, but bender nights are now thing of the past. Not remembering isn't a badge of courage... it's a sign of stupidity.

3. Stylin' and Profilin'
From the pictures I've seen, I looked good Saturday night. Like real good. Ron Burgundy "Hey everyone. Come see how good I look" good. Then everything went blank and I couldn't tell you the rest... stupid vodka...

4. Two Weeks
As in, I'll be home in... Crazy! Time has flown by and there is a bunch of stuff still needing to be done around the house, but flights are booked, transfers are in place and a week hanging out in Cambridge with Faye is the first course of action when I get home. Book your visits now!

5. New Province, Same Job
The transfer mentioned above is in fact a position with Blockbuster in Ontario. Responsible Spencer - the sober yin to Saturday night's hammered yang - decided that a crappy job that pays the bills is better than no crappy job, so I'm heading home to Rock the Block.

6. My Bracket Is Broken
It was shot right out of the gate. I had USC going to the Elite 8, Arizona making a trip to the Sweet 16 and a host of other scenarios that certainly haven't panned out. One thing I do still have correct though... UNC winning this whole damn thing. Tell me they haven't looked better than everyone else?

7. Remember Boyz II Men?
Man, those kids from West Philly were awesome. What has me extolling the talents of Nate, Shawn and Wanya? They were on Don't Forget the Lyrics and goddamn they had a lot of hits back in the day! Motownphilly, End of the Road, On Bended Knee, I'll Make Love to You... that joint with Mariah before she went crazy. Where are groups like Boyz II Men today? We need another Boyz II Men.

8. Pretend Blue Jays in Familiar Position
Third place in the American League East. Good to know that even baseball simulations have the Jays as paper contenders in the AL East.

9. Now That I've Staved Off Death...
I got a ton of writing to do. The Jays season starts soon and they have been busy in the last couple days - GO CHECK BUGS & CRANKS PEOPLE - Epic needs a post or two in the next couple days and we all know this blog doesn't write itself. A trained chimp named Vincent K. Monkey does it. I pay him in bananas.

10. Gotta Love That Picture From Yesterday! (Scroll Down In Case You Missed It)
Seriously, even I can't manage to get that hammered. When you get so drunk that you strip down to your thong and crash on a picnic table, ass out for everyone to see, you need to put down the Canadians and pick up a bottle of water.

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10 Things I Learned This Week

Been another interesting week...
Here is what I learned...

1. Atonement: Good Movie... Really Fucking Slow!
I won't give anything away, other than the pace. Turtles move faster than this movie and it's only two hours long. It's not like some three and a half hour epic or anything like that, which actually makes it worse. The problem is you can't walk away because it is a really good film.

2. Moving Day is Getting Closer
Funny how selling and shipping out the two main pieces of your living room makes packing that much easier. Since Calvin was coming to pick up the goods he overpaid for, we had to have them ready and that meant packing. Now, we're three weeks away from moving and have nothing but clothes left to deal with for the most part. This makes Sarah very happy.

3. Winter Isn't Over
We got dumped on today. It's expected that we're going to get dumped on tomorrow too. And all week. For everyone who said it looked like winter was coming to an end, punch yourself. Then come shovel my car out.

4. My B&C Colleagues Are Baseball Nerds Too!
A handful of us are taking part in a What If? Baseball League, where we've drafted the best possible versions of our teams from 1982 to Present and set out to decide who reigns supreme. Since the season kicked off Monday, my inbox has been flooded with bitching and whining about the less-than-accurate ratings players have, how there is no way Team A would ever sweep Team B and on and on and on. It's nice to know I'm not alone...

5. "I'll Win This Again"
Sticking with Fantasy Baseball, I just thought I would make it even more official than the ridiculously cocky team name above and tell everyone who cares (and all of you who don't) that I will be winning the Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball league I am in with my buddy Sab, his friends from Sudbury and a couple guys from the casino. Updates coming every Sunday once the season starts.

6. I'm Giving Myself a Promotion
Instead of being a once a week contributor at Epic Carnival - it was twice a week but I ixna'ed Press Coverage Mondays - I'm going to become a more regular (read: 3-4 times a week) contributor. Why? I got paid more money for three months of work there than I made all last year at Bugs & Cranks. If I triple my output, I triple my money. If I triple my money, I'm that much closer to staying home and doing this full time.

7. If You're Making Homemade French Fries, Stay Away from the Yukon Golds
They don't crisp up very well. What they do manage to do well is retain oil and form into a big, greasy mound of potato in the bowl I was intending to serve them in. Too bad too because I made an awesome spicy ketchup to dip them in and everything.

8. North Carolina Wins The Tourney
I knew this at the start of the year actually, but since today is Selection Sunday, why not make the announcement now? Psycho T & Co. will bring another NCAA Tournament Title back to the Dean Dome after The Madness. And yes, I'm willing to bet on that.

9. Even Though I Don't Deliver The Mail, I Still Might Go Postal
If another person drops an F-Bomb on me when I'm just trying to do my job, I'm going to lose it. Nothing kicks off your Sunday at work better than having someone go on a rampage over the phone about how I should have called him sooner to remind him that the movies he rented needed to be brought back...

10. Best Stumble Upon Find EVER
Every so often, I click the old Stumble! button on my toolbar. 9 times outta 10 I get crap. Every once in a while I get something good. And then there is this - Proof That Girls Are Evil. BEST. STUMBLE. EVER.

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