Thursday, November 1, 2007

Dane Cook: Please God Make It Stop!

There is only one reason why I am glad the baseball playoffs are over:

I don't have to suffer any more of those goddamn awful Dane Cook "There Is Only One October" commercials!

Major League Baseball couldn't have picked a worse commercial pitchman, outside of maybe seeing if Satan himself wasn't busy.

Now "Good Luck Chuck" has been a topic of conversation a number of times over at Bugs, with my man Cam Martin penning a hilarious pseudo-interview with Captain Douche Bag earlier this week, but that isn't what has brought his joke-stealing, non-funny ass to mind. Nope, it's the fact that "The Great Dane" is invading my home and native land this week and a bunch of people I know are amped to go and see him.

I'm a confessed Facebook'aholic - it really is like Internet Crack - which means that I spend about as much time on Facebook as I do on everything else in my day combined and I'm sickened by what I've found.

My brother, my own flesh and blood, left me this nugget in his birthday message to me:

"We're going to see Dane Cook in Toronto on must know and like him...I'll let you know."
- Peter Kyte
I believe my reply contained the words "fuck no", "I hope you didn't pay for those tickets" and "he's a joke-stealing, not funny douche bag" which is right in line with the opinions of Cook's contemporaries. Actually, I won't lessen their talents by calling them his contemporaries...

Don't believe me, Google him. See what other comics have to say about the frat boy favourite.

And if knowing that actual funny people (David Cross, Joe Rogan, Zack Galifianakis) think Cook sucks balls isn't enough to cheer you up, go rent Mr. Brooks and watch Kevin Costner slit his throat with a shovel.

Yeah, I know enjoying that makes me a sick bastard. I'm okay with that.

Fuck Dane Cook!

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