Searching for a Porn-ucopia

Not me: I have the Internet. All the porn I could ever ask for is only a mouse click away. If I ever wanted to look at porn....

No, this is the story of quite possibly the funniest customer interaction I've had in my lifetime working in the Customer Service industry. And I've been involved in some weird shit in working the casino and in bars over the years, but this trumps them all.

Last night, sometime around 10:30, a middle aged (read: 40's) guy comes into Blockbuster, doeas a quick glance around the store from just inside the door, turns to me behind the counter and asks, "You have an Adult Section?"

This is not an uncommon occurrence. We get lots of people asking if we carry porn. We don't, other than some softcore stuff like Married People, Single Sex Volumes 1-3 and a few artsy films that use that banner as a means of putting out naughtier stuff than the Playboy Channel.

"No, sorry man," was my reply, just as it always is. My usual choking back a laugh occurred too. What can I say, I find it amusing that people (1) still rent porn and (2) think that Blockbuster is going to have a back room full of it.

"D'you know anywhere I can get some?" the would-be viewer asked.

"Yep, right across the street. Jumbo," I answered, instructing the porn-seeking gentlemen to shop with our competition at Jumbo Video.

"D'you know anywhere else? The selection they have over there sucks."

Stifling a laugh, I managed to get the words, "No. Sorry, I don't," out as the disheartened porn hunter left the store. Then I died laughing.

Answer me this: At what point do you stop driving around town looking for porn, especially when you've located an establishment from where you can procure the object of your desires?

11:00 at night? Midnight? Never?

Do drunks go bar to bar asking what kind of whiskey is on the shelf, only to leave when they find out they're only serving CC?

"Swill... I may be a drunk in need of a drink, but I won't drink that piss!"

Somehow, I think not.

I can just picture this guy driving around town in an effort to find Bad Babysitters 7 because Jumbo's choices of Bad Babysitters 2: Even Badder and Asian Heat 52 wasn't quite good enough.

And what determines a quality porn selection anyway?

I know everyone has the things that they're into, but at a certain point, porn is porn. The end result is the same, just how the "actors" get to that point is different. So too might be the outfits, locations, horrible dialog (if any) and ethnicity of the female cast. But at 10:30 - 11:00 at night, do you really need to be picky with your porn?