Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I Beg You - Don't Do This!

Yeah, that's Pete "Maverick" Mitchell you see above giving you the thumbs up.

Am I the only one who thinks this should be the lasting image we have of the character?

Apparently, no one in Hollywood agrees with me because hot off the successes of Indiana Jones comes reports of Tom Cruise being in discussions to reprise his role from 22 years ago, this time with Maverick as the older, attractive flight school instructor and some hot-shot female fighter pilot doing his old routine.

Here, in my opinion, are all the things that are wrong with this idea:

1. Tom Cruise isn't cool enough to be Maverick anymore.
Sure, in 1986 when Top Gun came out, he was the greatest thing since sliced bread - cool enough for guys to like him and the star of many females fantasies - but now, he's creepy Tom Cruise the Scientology guy who auditions wives, settles on Joey Potter and gets the same haircut as she sports.

2. "You've Lost That Loving Feeling"
Easily one of the most memorable moments of the movie, all the pilots standing around singing this classic as Mav serenades Kelly McGillis' character. Well, we've lost that loving feeling for Top Gun. Not the original because it's always going to be awesome in a "Remember when Tom Cruise wasn't a freak?" or "See, I told you the guy from ER was in Top Gun!" kind of way, but you can't wait 22 years to dust off the old characters (or character as it would likely be) and expect people to love it. That's why Indiana Jones wasn't as successful as Hollywood would have you think. Everyone I know who saw it said it blowed... Top Gun II would too.

3. Ken Loggins Doesn't Want to be a Part of This Crap
Now I don't know if that is true at all, but I tell you what - if Loggins doesn't want to write another song for the film or re-record "Highway to the Danger Zone" for this sequel, they shouldn't do it. That song kicked ass!

4. Did I Mention Tom Cruise is a Freak Now?

5. If You Want to Make Garbage, Make Original Garbage
Don't make some bullshit sequel that pisses on the grave of an iconic 80's film for the sake of cashing in on the name and hopes that guys like me who grew up wanting to be Maverick for a minute or two get all jacked up for more Tom Tom at Flight School. We won't. We know he's a weirdo. Hell, I'd rather see Top Gun II: The Mis-Adventures of Ice Man starring Val Kilmer than whatever they're proposing right now and Val Kilmer is one freaky dude in his own right.

As I scower the rumour lines and learn more about this development, I'll keep you posted. Now I have to got to Rogers and rent Top Gun...

(Yes, I do my movie renting at Rogers Video now... I can't walk into a Blockbuster without feeling dirty and sick to my stomach!)

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