Thursday, May 1, 2008

Final Thoughts on Miley...

The other day when I was talking with Sarah, she reminded me of an piece I wrote a couple summers back called The Decline of the Girl Next Door, where I basically said we're at a stage now where there are 20 skanks to every 1 Girl Next Door.

She wondered how I could take the "It's her back for crissakes!" approach to the Miley thing considering I was the guy advocating for the return of the GND.

And so, here we go...

Miley isn't the Girl Next Door.

First and foremost, she's a Disney Prop.

Secondly, she's an actress and business person and it is easy to see that the market needed a new wholesome teen queen for the tween set and their mothers to flock to with the departure of the Trailer Park Princess and her hillbilly sister getting knocked up too.

That's why these other photos from some guy's MySpace page aren't very shocking at all. Little Ms. Miley flashing her bra and making with the sexy eyes. It's like how Britney professed her chastity when you, me and everyone else knew that JT was getting lucky. Image is everything.

Part of my defense comes from the fact that the last reigning Disney Dream, Vanessa Hudgens, got barely a slap on the wrist from Disney for her pro-bush pics and I don't mean the President. Baby V snapped pics of her snapper and got a slap on the wrist; Miley shows a little back and Disney and a bunch of pissy parents, go ballistic. How is that right?

But the biggest part, at least in regards to my thoughts on the the Girl Next Door, is that The Girl Next Door is an ideal and a dead one at that, I'm afraid. Hollywood's take on the concept was the nail in the coffin.

Nothing I say can change the fact that by the time my niece hits 13, she's going to know more about sex than I do now... which isn't saying much, but you get the point.

Sex is marketed to every age group at every turn, starting as soon as playing with Barbie becomes uncool. So, five or six.

Does that mean I like it? No, it means I've come to grips with the fact that when I was growing up, fathers didn't have to start sitting on porches with shotguns until 16.

Now, I've got to end this so I can go and polish my shooter... and I don't even have kids yet.

With that in mind, who the hell are we to get all up in arms if Miley Cyrus wants to show her back? At least she's not popping out a kid or starring in her own sextape.

See? Perspective.


jennifer said...

Good Perspective!! And if you getting ready to polish your shotgun, Tony better have half of his polished by now!!

Newt said...

Your perspective is a good one Spencer.
It's truly a realistic one. One that says that you would be a good parent in this day and age.
Setting unrealistic goals based on the way your life was when you were a kid is absurd and that's what a lot of parents do today.
Truthfully, I am scared shitless for my daughter to grow up. I keep telling her to slow down, no rush, not because she wont be prepared for what is ahead but because I fear I may not be.