Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Rundown: Celebrity Headlines

With all the hulabaloo about Ms. Miley both here and in the media in general as of late, a bunch of ridiculously amusing stories seemed to have cropped up and gone unnoticed... until now!

Top WTF? Celebrity Headlines


5. Roger Clemens... and a 15-year-old Mindy McCready
Has anyone's credibility taken such a hit in such a short period of time than Rocket Roger? Steroid allegations look tiny next to this doozy. Apparently Clemens had a 10-year-affair with the one time country star turned boozehound and pill popper. Of course, Clemens denies every ounce of this story, while McCready has tearfully confirmed the deets... but she's lying too, right Rog?

4. People's Most Beautiful
Took a quick run through the preview photos of the next issue of People, featuring their Most Beautiful list. It's headed by Kate Hudson - you know, the one who cheated on her husband with Owen Wilson - and features a Playboy model (Amanda Beard), the cast of Gossip Girl (yack!) and a Disney teen queen with a thing for Polaroids (Vanessa Hudgens). Of course, no one has anything to say about this, even though Amanda Beard's back is provocatively exposed in her picture.

3. How I Spent My Summer Vacation by Katie Holmes
Tom sent me to Scientology Boot Camp, because apparently I'm not scientologicalized enough. Also, Tom earns extra Air Miles and Levels Up every time he sends someone to camp.

2. Proof Good Charlotte Is, Was and Always Will be Horrible
Lead singer Benji Madden has penned a love song for his girlfriend... Paris Hilton. No word yet on whether it contains any references to her awesome acting skills or talents with a bow staff. Not to be outdone, twin / guitarist Joel Madden will probably write a song for his women, Nicole Richie. Let the chorus be "Baby, can you please eat a sandwich."

1. Mariah Carey is Engaged... to Nick Cannon?!
Crazy Mimi is marrying the dude from Drumline? When the eff did this happen? Wasn't Nick Cannon just hosting his own show on Nickelodeon like two years ago? How is he all of a sudden a certified loverman... and with Mariah? Dude, she's bonkers! Anyone who gets nekkid on Cribs will never get the "Not Insane" stamp on their hand.

9 comments:

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