D'You Know What I Won't Miss?

The 8 a.m. stomping and shouting matches in the apartment above us.

I mean, it's bad enough that they apparently are on the cutting edge of the fashion industry and are the first to realize that cement shoes actually are a great look, especially when you come home loaded at 2 in the morning, but then how come they can't be like the rest of us after a good drunk?

Sleep in and stay as quiet as possible. Hell, I turned our fridge off two Sunday's back just because it was making too much noise...

Not these people though; they're up at 8 a.m. slamming doors and screaming at each other in between trips to their deck to smoke darts that end up making the yard look like a giant ashtray.

I could handle it when it was the 3-year-old kid; he doesn't know any better and that's what kids do, right? I got up every morning at 7 to watch cartoons and have pretend wrestling matches with pillows as opponents on the L-shaped sectional couch we had for 47 years...

But grown folk should know a helluva lot better than to be up and screaming and stomping that early in the morning, especially when you're in a non-soundproofed house with four other people.

Try to keep it to a dull roar for the poor bastards that'll be moving in underneath you once we clear out.

Or at the very least, take off your goddamn shoes!