Back in the early days of iBlog, I was working at Blockbuster.
You remember; once or twice a week I would bitch and complain about the customers or the company or whatever.
Ah, the good old days.
Turns out, moving to Kimberley further proved just how absolutely ridiculous Blockbuster Video and all the other corporate video stores truly are...
See, I now rent my movies at Black Bear Video and Books. Yeah, they have books too and by books, I don't mean magazines and I certainly don't mean porn like customers used to ask all too often at Blockbuster.
They also let me bring Luke into the store, provided he doesn't pee on anything like he tried to do today before Sarah whisked him out of the store to whiz.
Oh, they also sell the most incredible, homemade gellato I've ever tasted. Yeah, gellato, as in "better than ice cream" and they make it right there and it's cheap and delicious and awesome.
But the capper - you know, besides the clerks not wearing uniforms, trying to sell you everything from a $20 coupon book you're sure to forget and the annoying loop of crappy trailers blaring in the background - comes down to money.
Monday to Thursday, two new releases... $7. Yeah, seven dollars, also known as 93 cents more than it cost to rent one new release at Blockbuster. It's not like the price skyrockets on weekends either. That extra dollar they charge me certainly isn't going to break the bank.
And previously viewed movies aren't stickered arbitrarily and placed on a giant display wall; they're in a couple cool old milk boxes and are $5 each. Old, new, whatever. $5, as in "Today I bought Pineapple Express and Max Payne for $5 each."
One and for all, Black Bear Video has proven something that I knew all along: Blockbuster Video sucks balls.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Black Bear Video: So Much Better Than Blockbuster!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Book vs. Movie: Whose Side Are You On?
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I Know Which Dwarf I Am...
Grumpy.
I'm at that point where I'm just tired of everything.
I'm tired of being a moron who wastes a great night out all dressed up with his girlfriend getting shitcanned and announcing to a room full of strangers that, "I'm Spencer and I'm awesome because I have a mohawk!"
I'm sick of busting my ass at Blockbuster effing Video for the last nine months to find out that that transfer they assured me would happen whenever I wanted to move back to Ontario isn't as assured as originally advertised.
I'm pissed that I've spent countless months talking about all the ideas I have for a book and a movie and writing and haven't done shit about it. Not one single word.
I'm grumpy as fuck and d'you know what?
It's about goddamn time too!
Reaching the point of total and utter frustration moves you in one of two ways:
- Prolonged periods of laying on the couch in the fetal position watching old movies and crying
- Sitting at this computer every spare minute I have either trying to find a better job that shilling movies or writing the book / movie that will make me never have to shill another movie ever again.
Schedules. Routine. Habit. Timelines. That is the only way these ideas that have been bouncing around inside my head for the better part of the last year are ever going to become whatever they are meant to become. I just need to sit down and do it.
No more Baseball Mogul 2008.
No more three hour cycles of The Score.
No more laying around watching old movies.
Writing, writing and more writing.
P.S. You don't want to mess with Grumpy... consider yourself warned. Continue reading ...
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Honest to Blog: Why All The Juno Bashing?
Ever since the little movie that could got a truckload of Oscar nominations, there has been a growing rumbling about the validity of said noms. It seems that some people don't like the film and like the idea of Juno making off with a couple of stupid statues even less.
What gives?
I get that not everyone loves this movie. That's cool. We don't all have to like the same things. In fact, that has been my review of this flick since the day after I saw it:
I loved it! It's an instant classic in my books, but I can see it being a totally polarizing movie. Some people will absolutely hate it and I get that. Kinda like some people hate Little Miss Sunshine.
My beef isn't with those who dislike this little picture about a smart-mouthed sixteen year old who gets knocked up by her track-nerd pseudo-boyfriend. Actually, I do have a small beef with them because they show incredibly poor taste in films, but that's not the beef I have in the context of this blog. We can discuss that beef at another time.
What does chap my ass is the groundswell of Juno-bashing that has taken place since the Oscar nominations were announced. I just don't get it.
For once the Academy is passing out nominations to a film that has garnered widespread success amongst a demographic that, let's be honest, probably didn't pay the price of admission to anything that received a nomination last year. Or the year before. Or whenever they figured out how to download and burn movies of the Internet, so, sometime around 1999.
I'm not an idiot (disputable, I know) and don't expect - nor do I want - the Academy to hand out nominations to the Top Box Office films of the year, because no one wants to see Jack standing behind a podium handing out Best Picture to one of Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Spiderman 3, Shrek the Third or Transformers.
But acknowledging excellence in a flick that more than just the Academy, film critics and arm-chair film critics saw isn't a bad thing, especially when the acknowledgments are very much deserved. Maybe Jason Reitman didn't deserve a nod for Best Director, but you can't really argue with the remaining three nominations. Can you?
Ellen Page acted her ass off in this flick. I watch a lot of movies and I can't think of another lead female performance that deserves a nomination more so than the five women who'll be all dolled up next Sunday night.
The Best Original Screenplay nod for Diablo Cody is a no-brainer isn't it? I mean, you have to admit that this is a wholly original and unique idea, unlike the three hundred retread movies that get made every year, not including flat-out remakes of old, forgotten films.
And finally, the Best Picture nomination. Of the three aside from JR's directing nod, this is the one that I can see people debating the most. But it's also the one I would defend to the death. Just like Little Miss Sunshine before it, you can dislike the movie all you want, but there is no denying that this was one of the five best films of the year. Tell me what should replace it if you don't think it belongs?
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Oscar Picks coming next Saturday...
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Ch'Ch'Ch'Ch'Ch'Ch'Check It Out
Title homage to the Beastie Boys aside, welcome to a little something that is probably long overdue around these parts.
I'm a movies / music / books kind of guy and since I'm seriously underemployed at a certain blue and yellow uniformed, giant ticket as a logo, multi-national video rental chain store, wouldn't it make sense for me to use Tuesdays as an opportunity to hip you to what's new on the shelves this week? I think so...
Music
The list of albums being released today is ginormous, so I figured I'd peg a handful that I have something to say about and go from there. No disrespect meant to Paramore or Against Me!, two good bands releasing new albums today, but I just don't have much to say about either of you.
Thriller 25th Anniversary Edition - Michael Jackson
I know there are some of you who frequent this site who weren't even a glimmer in your parents' eyes when Thriller first hit Record Stores, but that doesn't change the fact that it was - and still is - one of the most influential and outstanding albums of all-time. Yes, Michael is a total sideshow freak now, but back then, he was The King of Pop and this was his crowning achievement.
Feedback - Janet Jackson
Interestingly, Michael's little sister has an album hitting store today as well. Just like her big brother, Janet used to be relevant. Her second album, Control, established her as a player in the music biz and Rhythm Nation was a monster. Somehow, she managed to top Rhythm Nation with her next album, janet, you know, the one with her then-husband Rene holding her boobs. After that though, things got a little less interesting with each passing record. Some people loved The Velvet Rope, though I wasn't one of them, and everything since has been one, maybe two singles and that's about it. We'll see what this one has to offer...
Bring Me Your Love - City & Colour
The follow-up to the outstanding Sometimes, Alexisonfire's Dallas Clark returns for another round of acoustic guitars and heartfelt lyrics on his new City & Colour disc. Sometimes, which featured one of my favourite tracks of 2006 ("Coming Home"), was a huge departure from the loud, fast, wickedness of Alexisonfire but I have to say, it worked and worked well. Dallas is an outstanding musician and this is one album and artist that you really need to take my word on, even if you think I'm a member of the Musical Moron Society.
Criminal Minded Deluxe Edition - Boogie Down Productions
Honestly, KRS-One doesn't get enough respect as one of the greatest emcees in this world and the tragic murder of DJ Scott La Rock on August 27, 1987 just months after this album was originally released stole brilliance from the Hip Hop Community for years to come. Go get your hands on "The Bridge Is Over" and tell me it isn't one of the best hip hop joints of all time.
Movies
There are always like 20 titles that come out on a given Tuesday, 75% of which are crap and you don't need to see and I don't need to review. I'm sure you can figure out what She Likes Girls 2 is all about on your own. Yes, it's a real title and it's not porn.
I figure, instead of wasting my time with everything that has come out, I'd give you two a week - a big name, big budget movie that is worth watching and a little, lesser known title deserves your attention as well. With that in mind, here we go...
Gone Baby Gone
Not to take nothing away from the Marky Mark / Joaquin Phoenix We Own The Night which also comes out today, but for me, this is the pick. Does the fact that I have a man-crush on writer/director Ben Affleck and think his little brother Casey is blossoming into one of the best actors of his time? Of course it does, but this is also a great movie outside of those factors. I want everyone to watch it and then come back here and tell me what you would do. I know that doesn't make sense now, but go watch the movie. You'll understand...
Dedication
I like movies about writers, especially when they're writers who are a little left of center, like me. Billy Crudup is so far left of center as the star of this movie it's unreal. And I love it! Directed by Justin Theroux - the Evil DJ from Zoolander - this is far from your typical love story and is a good laugh. So long as your sense of humour is a little skewed. Otherwise, you might just think it's totally retarded and I have horrible taste in movies. P.S. I'm starting to warm to Mandy Moore as an actress...
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Today Sucks!
D'you know how annoyed I have to be to get out of bed before 7:30 in the morning even on a good day?
D'you know that the chances of me getting out of bed before 7:30 in the morning when I'm feeling like death warmed over on a Saturday are close to the chances of me being elected Prime Minister of Indonesia?
D'you know that I was up knocking on the door of the lovely people who live above us this morning at roughly 7:30 this morning because that is when the banging started?
Seriously... today sucks.
As the door cracked open, I know that she knew it was me. Who else could be lightly knocking on her door at this hour? Before I even said a word she had started to apologize, despite the fact that her apology doesn't do anything about helping me get back to sleep, a mere four hours after I shut down for the night.
What has made today even more awesome is that I didn't fall back asleep, chiefly because, well, how can I put this? I know - I'm been stuck in the shitter all day. Lord knows what it was, but something I ate last night sure doesn't like me today.
Wait, it gets better yet!
Since about two this afternoon, there has been wrestling practice upstairs. Not literally, as that would actually make all the thunderous bangs that echo through my apartment tolerable. This has been unsanctioned, backyard wrestling, forced inside by the cold temperatures outdoors and involves a child repeated running, jumping, crashing and banging into everything imaginable. For an added bonus, every so often he slams into something unintentionally and let's out a banshee's wail for a solid five minutes. Oh, their friends just came over too. Nothing like a night of mud butt and gut rot with a herd of elephants trampling around above you...
The only way this could get worse is if I threw up a little. Not like a full out puke, then I would feel better, but a nice little throw up in my mouth a little so the taste and smell lingers, making me even sicker. That would be the cherry on the top of this shitty Saturday sundae.
Thankfully I've got a stack of movies and my Wings pounding the Leafs to keep me from going and leaving a flaming bag of poop on their doorstep upstairs. That and Sarah would leave me instantly, regardless of how funny I thought it was.
If tomorrow starts off like today, I'm not even getting out of bed. Just thought I'd tell you now in case you swing by tomorrow and don't see a 10 Things post.
I gotta go though - My ass is ready to explode... again!
(You're Welcome...)
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Death of the Dishonour Roll
It is with little remorse that we announce the passing of the Thursday segment "The Dishonour Roll," which made it's last public appearance on January 31, 2008. Following a lackluster performance of chirping at a 3-year-old child for being a 3-year-old child, The Dishonour Roll crawled into bed for a nap and never woke up.
Remembered for chastising Dina Lohan and mocking The Spears Family, the intention of the Dishonour Roll was intriguing and showed some promise, but ultimately, it ended up sounding like a guy sitting in a chair, bitching for the sake of bitching, and no one needs that in their life.
If we may, a moment of silence for our fallen column...
Rest In Peace.
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So now the question becomes "What the hell am I going to write about on Thursdays?"
As of right now, there is no immediate answer. While I like the thought of having segments slotted for different days of the week, I also have found them to be some of the hardest bits to write because sometimes there just wasn't anyone who really needed to be called out in the Dishonour Roll or a full 10 Things That I Learn in a week. Soundtrack is safe because music still permeates my life and there are literally thousands of songs I can pull from. Same goes for The Rundown.
Until something really great strikes me - which may never happen - we're just going to wing it and take each Thursday as it comes. Sound good to you?
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Do you remember what movies you've seen and what movies you haven't?
Working at Blockbuster, it strikes me as annoyingly odd when people come up to the counter or stop me while I'm walking on the floor and ask me to check their accounts to see if they have seen a certain film. How do you not remember?
I'm not talking about movies from days gone by or anything like that either; we're talking brand-spanking-new releases that haven't even been out for two months and people can't remember if they've seen it.
We used to live with a girl who was afflicted with this condition. No word of a lie, pretty much every movie she ever picked off the shelf when she came into the store or asked me to bring home for her at one point or another she had actually already seen. How does that happen? How do you forget that you've seen Babel? And Friends with Money. And Perfect Stranger. Not that these are all great movies, but c'mon, is it that hard to remember? Seriously, it became a bad joke... and annoying as hell. Without fail, ten minutes into a movie you would hear, "Oh, yeah, I have seen this. Now I remember."
Granted, this could be a case of me being freakishly weird by being able to tell you with some certainty whether or not I have seen a specific movie dating back as far as I can remember. So long as you give me a little insight into the flick if I'm cloudy on it, I think I can be pretty damn accurate. I know, I'm a geek. I accept that.
The lingering question for me is does this affliction transfer over to other segments of Pop Culture as well? Do these people forget what books they've read too until their twenty pages in? What about music? Do they forget what songs they've heard? What artists they like?
And what about everyday life? Does it pop up there as well? Forget what groceries you bought the other day and end up with three cartons of eggs in the fridge?
Please help me if you can... I need to understand how this works.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The Rundown: 80's Flashback
Did you know that kids born in 1988 turn 20 this year? That's fucked.
Well, at least to me it is, because I easily remember 1988. I was ten. '88 was one of my best years to date actually. I lived in Chatham, Ontario in a nice little suburb known as Birdland (all the streets were names of birds...) and had a great group of friends that I hung out with pretty much every waking hour that I wasn't in school. I also had my first French Kiss in '88 with Jackie McClintock. Oddly enough, her brother Steve was one of my best friends at the time and he was standing right there watching me do it!
So, I thought I would use that as my inspiration for today's Rundown. Without any further adieu...
Top Five Things I Miss About The '80's
5. Saturday Morning Cartoons / Television
Have you gotten up on a Saturday morning recently and flipped through the channels to see what's on? I have and I hated it. Where the hell are The Smurfs? What about The Gummi Bears? No longer are they bouncing here and there and everywhere. D'you know when The Transformers were awesome? When they weren't a movie starring Shia LeBeouf, but were a cartoon. Toss in Saved By The Bell starting in 1989 and that was what Saturday mornings were all about.
Old Guy Geek Update: They're doing a CGI Thundercats Movie. Yes, I'm excited for it. I effing loved The Thundercats!
4. John Hughes Movies
- Mr. Mom
- National Lampoon's Vacation
- 16 Candles
- The Breakfast Club - classic... you must watch this film
- National Lampoon's European Vacation
- Weird Science
- Pretty in Pink
- Ferris Bueller's Day Off - anyone who hasn't seen this must be shot!
- Planes, Trains & Automobiles
- The Great Outdoors
- Uncle Buck
- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
3. Innocence
A guy at work told me today about a girl his wife teaches in sixth grade that is pregnant. I was in 6th grade somewhere around 1988 or so and getting some girl pregnant was the last thing on my mind. Hell, I hadn't even started spankin' it yet... Sorry about that. Anyway, I miss that time, when riding your bike and playing street hockey was enough. Holding hands and getting a kiss at the end of the day made you the Big Man on Campus and thoughts of sex, drugs and alcohol hadn't entered the minds of Elementary School students. I don't care if this one makes me sound real old... I miss those days.
2. The Fashion
Vuarnet. Neon and pastel everything. Chuck Taylor's and fake Chuck Taylor's. Polo. Acid Washed Jeans and high top shoes. Reebok Pumps. Bicycle shorts I can still do without...
1. The Music
If you didn't know this was going to be #1, you're either new here - welcome, nice to have you - or haven't been paying attention over the last bunch of months. I mean, seriously, you had to know it was going to be the music, right? Who and what do I miss most? Glad you asked:
- Michael Jackson - Thriller was released and was awesome. It still is. Michael, unfortunately, is not.
- U2 - The Joshua Tree... that's all I have to say.
- Duran Duran - I don't care what anyone says...
- Hair Metal Bands - odd that they follow Duran Duran, but hey, I loved Poison. Appetite for Destruction had been unleashed on the world and Dr. Feelgood came out right at the very end of the decade...
- Rap was just getting off the ground it is was still all good. Beasties, early LL, Run DMC...
- Plus, there are a lot of bands that I wish I had known about then that I really dig now, like The Smiths and Depeche Mode
Quick shout out to my man Deuce - he's in my old stomping ground of Waterloo for an interview that he's really nervous and excited about. Good luck dude!
He's started a blog too... he wants to be more like me... check it out here. Continue reading ...
Saturday, February 2, 2008
My Life is a Sesame Street Song
I am, without exaggeration, the one of these things that doesn't belong. Sarah agrees with me too. And it actually applies on a number of different levels.
Amongst our circle of friends here in Newfoundland, I don't fit. They're nursing students, would-be scientists, academically inclined smart people. I have an Arts Degree that I never intended to use, know absolutely nothing about the human body (Not in that way you dumb bastards!) and adopt a glossy blank stare whenever the discussions sway towards nursing / health related topics, which is quite frequent. Luckily, we usually get together somewhere where there is either (a) a TV with sports highlights for me to watch or (b) another boyfriend who isn't into the whole nursing / science thing, but they also have no clue about sports or movies or the stuff that is most important to me.
Occasionally, someone fires me a bone and asks about my writing, which makes me perk up a little, but after engaging me for the minimum amount of time, they usually revert back to talking about the procedures they have been involved in or various organs, bones and diseases I know nothing about and I go back to sticking out like a sore thumb.
This next bit is going to sound strange, but I don't fit the profile appearance wise either. I know that it is a huge generalization to say that Newfoundlanders look a certain way, dress a certain way etc. etc. etc. but let's face it - every pocket of society has it's own distinct appearance and mine definitely doesn't portray me as being from these parts.
Take last night. I rocked a mohawk. Not like an 80's punk band, Anarchy Rules! kind of mohawk, more of a Kevin Federline on the cover of Details a couple months ago mohawk. It's grown out a little so it's turning into a faux-hawk, but you get the picture. That doesn't play here very well. It is an immediate "look at that guy" whenever we're in public. (Note: Please tell me if it is an automatic "look at that guy" everywhere, just so I know...)
Clothes matter to me. Not that they don't to others, but I really like fashion, I don't mind saying it. Coordination and style means a great deal to me. I don't own a ski-doo jacket; I rock blazers and sports jackets. Big-ass snowboots aren't in my closet, nor are running shoes; I've got a pair of Timberlands, some dressy sneakers (for sneaking) and a pair of beige corduroy slip on loafers that are full-out bad-ass! I got them in Paris. They're awesome! My argyle sweater vest is a dead give away of my being from away too...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
10 Things I Learned This Week
Those of you who have been paying attention or making regular Sunday visits will notice a slight change in the title this week and each week moving forward. Tossing the 10 up there just feels right. Besides, now you know how many points of nonsense you have to scroll through before reaching the end.
1. Heath Ledger (1979 - 2008)
Easily the most shocking thing I learned this week was that one of my favourite actors and one of the best of our time died. It was weird, coming home and being sitting here typing as Sarah questioned me, "Heath Ledger is dead?" stemming from the MSN name of one of her classmates. I couldn't Google his name fast enough, before finding out he had in fact been found dead earlier in the day. Say what you will about Brokeback Mountain, but just know that the performance Ledger gives in that film is one of the best ever. RIP Heath...
2. I'm All For Criticism
But please, if you're going to knock something I write, I ask two things of you: (1) at least be correct in your criticisms and (2) at least be original enough to give yourself a name. Like Captain Nemo a couple posts back. One, he pointed out my error in using the word "illicit" when I obviously meant "elicit" and two, he has a name. I have no idea who he is, but from here on out, Captain Nemo is our Grammar Police. I would much rather have Captain Nemo, Grammar Police telling me I'm a horrible speller and need to consult a dictionary than some Anonymous stranger incorrectly calling my latest Rundown a rip-off of the Stop Loss IMDB page.
3. Days Like Today Are The Best Days
Basically, I have written two articles, now three counting this one, had a killer breakfast, watched three movies (Murderball, Lost Boys of Sudan and the end of Superbad) and some Season Four of Friends, read a little and lounged around on the couch with the missus. What more could a guy ask for? The plan for tonight? A little more of all of the above... VERY NICE!
4. 27 Dresses: Cute Movie, Great Soundtrack
Listen, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out exactly what is going to happen in 27 Dresses, but even though you know where it'll end up, the journey is still fairly fun. Katherine Heigl has just suddenly become the new Romantic Comedy chick and that's a good thing because really, no one needs any more Mandy Moore or Sarah Jessica Parker, though a little more Rachel McAdams would be nice. Anyhow, best part of the movie, aside from me laughing to myself that at any moment James Marsden's eyes were going to go red and he was going to blast everyone - I mean, he is Cyclops after all - was the soundtrack. Nicely done people. A little Mark Ronson / Amy Winehouse "Valerie," a little Natasha Bedingfield "Who Knows" and a little Ray LaMontange "Be Here Now," which elicited an immediate "great song" call. Overall, it's a 7... nothing great, far from horrible.
5. Add Indy to My List of Must-See Movies
We've got the latest issue of Vanity Fair in the Reading Room and one of the feature articles is an interview with Steven Spielberg and George Lucas about the next Indiana Jones film and how it's taken years to get it done. Regardless of the schmaltz of the last Indy film and the fact that people are already grumbling about the inclusion of Shia LeBeouf, reportedly as Indy's son, I'm going to see this movie. It seems like I add another movie to my "Must See" List every day...
6. Too Much Super Bowl News
D'you know what really sucks about there being a full week between the participants for the big dance being determined and the big dance actually taking place? Not today when there is no football to watch, but the two weeks of stupidity in the media about every little thing that happens. Seriously, the Tom Brady walking cast things shouldn't be an issue to anyone. It's not as if there is even a 1% chance that he doesn't take every single snap in Arizona next Sunday.
7. Before May, There Might Be A Murder Upstairs
Honestly, if the 24-7 stomping and banging on the floor doesn't stop some time soon, in the words of Russell Peters' father, "Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad." I understand the 3-year-old likes to run around, but a 3-year-old doesn't sound like a herd of thunderous elephants. At least twice a day the lights in the living room do the "someone upstairs just got bodyslammed to the floor" flicker.
8. Making My Brother Laugh is Still One of My Biggest Goals in Life
Earlier this week, he posted some Billy Joel lyrics on his girlfriend Brookie's Facebook page. Since they are both friends of mine - though part of the 448 so-called "friends" who aren't fans yet - I got the update in my little Stalker feed. Normally, I let those things slide, as 95% of the info is like tits on a bull to me, but this was an opportunity. Dropped a little comment on the wall about Pete's message making me throw up in my mouth a little bit and waited... Two days later, mission accomplished. Pete sent me a "that threw up in my mouth a little made me piss myself laughing." Typical younger brother, always trying to impress his big brother.
9. The Whole City Shutting Down Means One Thing
No, not stay the fuck home and get drunk by the fire. Rather, LET'S ALL GO TO BLOCKBUSTER! Thursday, we got smashed with a snowstorm that literally shut down all of St. Johns, except for the taxi cabs and the movie stores. Gotta love the bastards who can't drive to work because it's too dangerous out but are able to come in and rent copy after copy of Good Luck Chuck. I stood behind my cash register for five solid hours sans break that day, putting on a brave face while countless people told me how much it sucks that we had to stay open. D'you know what retards? It's your goddamn fault. If you freaks would just stay the fuck home and get drunk by the fire, maybe I could do the same and not have to search the Drop Box for a copy of Saw 4 for you...
10. Off The Wagon
Bought a pack of darts this week. Thursday, on the way to work actually. Was one of those weeks. I know - excuses, excuses, blah blah blah. Piss off. I wanted a smoke. The way I look at it, I went a month without after having smoked for the last 13 years. Cut me some slack. I'll shut it down again once the pack is gone and get back to the Tattoo Plan. But as for now, it's time for a smoke...
This Coming Valentine's Day, I'm Going To Be Awful Busy
Went to the movies last night with Sarah - a review of 27 Dresses will come later today in 10 Things - and sitting through the previews - which you have to be there for no matter what - it turns out that my calender is going to be pretty full on February 14, 2008.
Three movies that I want to see all open on that very day. Since I do the schedule at work now, guess who isn't working Valentine's Day and probably not the day after either?
The movies all come with varying degrees of anticipation, so we'll go from the bottom to the top.
Step Up 2 The Streets I'll go and see for two reasons: (1) Sarah and I's first date was to Step Up, so there is the nostalgia factor and being that it's V-Day, that makes it extra sweet / vomit-inducing depending on who you are and (2) I'm admittedly a sucker for dance films, especially hip hop dance films.
I own You Got Served which is quite possibly the worst movie ever made, except for the fact that the dance scenes are insane. Dave Scott choreographed the hell outta that movie. And no, I didn't have to look it up to see who choreographed the film. These are the stupid things I know. I know choreographers... can't do basic math without a calculator, but I know choreographers.
With that in mind, do I even need to state that I'm looking forward to seeing How She Move when it comes out? Canadian Hip Hop Dance Film... I'm in!
Silver Medal standing on the Valentine's Day movie podium goes to the Ryan Reynolds / Abigail Breslin father/daughter heart-warmer from the guys who did Notting Hill and Love, Actually called Definitely, Maybe.
First off, I loved both Notting Hill and Love, Actually so that makes this almost a no-brainer.
Second, bonus points for the movie sharing a name with an outstanding Oasis album. Say what you will about The Gallaghers, but know that I will fight you about the awesomeness that is (was?) Oasis.
Third, I'm a Ryan Reynolds guy. Van Wilder? Just Friends? Foolproof? Even the little stuff he does (The Nines anyone?) is pretty damn good. Plus, yes, fine, I'll admit it... bit of a man crush. There I said it.
Taking home the Gold Medal for the two-day V-Day movie bonanza that will be is Jumper. Before anyone starts grunting and groaning about my dying to see a movie starring Hayden "Manakin Skywalker" Christiansen, please note that it also stars Samuel L., Diane Lane (HUGE CRUSH!) and Rachel Bilson and is about guys who can teleport. How cool would that be?
Hopefully, Sarah will want to come to these with me. Otherwise, it's going to be a pretty shitty Valentine's Day for her...
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Dishonour Roll: Those Who Frequent The Block
Please Note: The views expressed in this diatribe do not reflect those of Blockbuster Canada Ltd. or it's subsidiaries. They are solely the views of the author and maybe one or two other people who have held a similar job.
This does not apply to every customer.
There are some who are great, some who are okay and some who know exactly what they want, don't say anything to you and leave the store quickly. We love them.
As for the rest of the lot... pffffft!
We have to say something to you when you come through the door or else we get in shit. You saying "Hi" and thinking it's the funniest, most original thing ever is a bad way to start.
It's not a fast food joint. You don't come up to the counter, tell us what movies you want and then stand there expecting us to get them for you. Do you go to the grocery store and hand some clerk your list while they run the aisles for you? Go look for your own shitty movies douchebag!
And another thing - the movies are in alphabetical order (roughly) so it's not rocket science... all you need to do is take 4 seconds to look. Recite the alphabet to yourself if it helps.
It's a real easy system. There is the coverbox with all the pretty pictures and words then stacks of the movie for you to rent. Which one do you think you bring to the counter?
Don't come in and ask me to recommend a movie when you've already watched 95% of the movies we're schilling. You saying, "Seen that" over and over drives me bonkers and not just because it's grammatically incorrect either.
I personally do not own Blockbuster Video, nor am I the person who called your house or sent you the Collections Letter. Just remember that next time you want to go on an obscenities-laced yelling spree 'kay?
While we're on the subject - if you don't want us calling you and you don't want to get sent to collections... BRING THE GODDAMN MOVIES BACK! Who the fuck needs a movie for more than 7 days anyways?
You can't get a refund just because a movie sucked. There are two reasons for this: (1) We'd go out of business real quick because 50% of the movies at Blockbuster lick balls and (2) You picked the fucking thing... it's not my fault you're a moron!
Is it so hard to produce a membership card or some form of ID? It's not like we're asking for a urine sample or anything... so why the hell do you gotta get so goddamn pissy when I ask to see your ID? You drove here, shouldn't you have your license on you?
Shockingly, I'm not kidding when I tell you that you can't rent anything until the $196.48 balance on your account for seven overdue movies and three games is paid. If you didn't have to pay it, why would I mention it in the first place?
We don't have a Prison Section. Stop asking. It goes Family, TV, Foreign, Drama, Action and Comedy. Did you hear Prison anywhere in there?
Newsflash: We don't have a porn section either. Don't come to us for your pornographic needs. Get it the same place everyone else does... The Internet.
Just because I work at Blockbuster it doesn't mean that I know the name of that movie with that guy who was in that thing with that girl...
Seeing a movie advertised on TV usually means it is just hitting the theatres, unless the commercial ends with "Own it Today on DVD!" So please, do us all a favour and stop asking if we have the new Rambo, I Am Legend or anything else still raking it in at the box office. And don't argue with me when I tell you it's still in theatres...
If you know your movie is 4000 days late, why must you throw it in the drop box before you come try to rent something? You know I'm just going to have to go fish it out to clear your gigantic balance so you can rent more crap you're going to keep forever, so just bring them to the counter with you and save us both the headache.
I didn't give you the wrong movie as you were walking out. I gave you the movie you brought up to me at the counter, only you didn't pay attention when I read out the title to you because you were too busy yammering away on your cell phone/to one of your buddies/to your significant other. Coming in and blaming me for your attention deficit disorder isn't a good way to get me to help you out either.
D'you know what does work? Manners. Please, thank you, pardon, excuse me; those work. Everything else is just you starting down the path to me picking out a shitty movie for you.
No, that new Direct to DVD Wesley Snipes/Dolph Lundgran/Steven Seagall/Jean Claude Van Damme movie isn't any good. If it was, they would have released it to theatres. Please don't try to convince me otherwise. I already know better.
And finally...
Yes, you have to pay for the entire amount of your purchase, even if it means breaking a $20 bill. I'm not joking. This actually happens. Regularly, actually. You don't get to go to a restaurant for dinner and tell the waiter you're not paying the change because you'd have to break a $20 do you? Cheap bastards... cough up the dough! And no, you can't just leave it there until next time either.
So those are due back to us on Saturday. Have yourself a Lackluster Evening!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The Rundown: Coming Attractions
Yesterday, I called Heath Ledger one of the greatest actors of his generation and I stand by that comment. Since we have tragically lost him and his incredible talents, I thought we would use today's Rundown to look at some who might fill his shoes...
Top Five Actors You Need To Watch
5. Joseph Gordon Levitt
The smart-ass kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun has transformed into an outstanding actor over the last number of years. After sharing the screen with Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You, Levitt found critical acclaim in smaller independent films, including 2001's Manic ( I own it, it's awesome...) and 2004's Mysterious Skin. Then came Brick, a film that out of nowhere ended up on a number of "Best of..." lists. Let me start a trend here by saying you'll see him next in the highly anticipated Kimberly Pierce (Boys Don't Cry) film Stop Loss in March.
4. Abbie Cornish
Okay, so the ties to Heath Ledger continue and that is a little weird, but there is no denying the talent Abbie Cornish possesses. She won critical acclaim in the Australian Indie film Somersault (Blockbuster has it... you should rent it) before wowing audiences alongside Ledger in Candy, were she starred as the titular character. She too can be seen in Pierce's Stop Loss in March, but gets an added "Know Her Now Before Everyone Else Catches On" points for being pegged as a Bond Girl in the 22nd Installment of the 007 series.
3. Emile Hirsch
You probably know him from The Girl Next Door or maybe his role as Johnny Truelove in Alpha Dog. Movie geeks like me remember him from a great performance along side Kieran Culkin in The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys (Go Rent It!) and he's getting rave reviews, though no Oscar Nom, for his portrayal of Chris McCandless in Sean Penn's Into The Wild. Where will you see him next? Only in The Wachowski Brothers' (Hello... The Matrix!)big screen adaptation of Speed Racer! Yes. I know. I'm a geek. God I'm lucky to have Sarah!
2. Ellen Page
Write this name down. Remember it. Start talking to people about her. Not just because I said so, but so that when she wins the Oscar this year for her portrayal of title character Juno in Jason Reitman's movie that I have been dying to see, you'll look like the super-cool, finger-on-the-pulse member of your group. You want to be that person. Okay, maybe you don't want to be, but I do. Trust me, she is the next big thing in terms of actresses. She has been since Hard Candy and Mouth to Mouth, just no one else picked up on it until she kicked the hell outta Juno. Plus she's Canadian... what's not to love?
1. Channing Tatum
Say what you want. Make fun of the fact that I'm repping the Step Up guy as THE Next Big Thing, but do yourself a favour and pay attention. Yes, he's the Step Up guy. So what? You don't get to say anything until you've gone and watched A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, a little movie starring some big-time actors and Tatum kills'em all as Antonio. And yes, he too is in the up coming Stop Loss, which, in case you haven't been paying attention, I'm dying to see and think will be one of the best films of the year.
Pictured: The Stop Loss Men - Ryan Phillippe, Victor Rasuk, Joseph Gordon Levitt & Channing Tatum
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I gotta say, I'm pretty sickened by the coverage of Heath Ledger's death. I know everyone wants to be first on the scene with all the breaking news and whatnot, but seriously. No one knows the true circumstances of the situation, yet everyone is quick to toss out words like overdose and suicide, say that it was MK Olsen's apartment (which it is now being reported it wasn't) and opining about the state of mind Ledger must have been in.
Here's an idea - wait ten minutes, get the story and let his family and friends get a chance to catch their breath about the situation before jamming a microphone or tape recorder in their face. Be responsible with your reporting. Is it that hard?
Monday, January 21, 2008
Why Are You Crying?
Over the weekend while riding the couch in between shifts at The Block and movies with Sarah, I managed to squeeze in some quality time with the highlight pack on The Score. As we were sitting eating breakfast yesterday morning - homemade Egg McMuffins - they ran the highlights (lowlights... boo-urns!) from the Maryland -UNC basketball game, complete with the shots of the crowd, painted in Carolina blue, crying.
"I don't understand that. Why the hell are they crying?" Sarah asked.
The answer?
It beats the hell outta me!
What is that? Who does that? Somebody explain this to me.
I went to many a UWaterloo basketball and football games and never once was a tear shed following a defeat. In fact, I don't think I have ever cried about losing in a sporting event ever, even when I was a little tyke playing Tee Ball or Rec League basketball. It's a friggin' game for chrissakes... deal with it.
And for the record, the only thing worse than fans crying after the game, is players. Like when Adam Morrison broke down on the court during the NCAA Tournament a couple years ago. If ever there was a surefire "Don't Draft This Guy" sign, that was it for me. Crybaby...
This phenomenon doesn't just apply to sporting events either though. You see it at concerts. Watch the footage from a concert - any concert - and you always see those morons in the front row getting crushed against the steel barriers bawling their eyes out. Now, if they're crying because they're being mashed into an immovable steel barrier by thousands of other douchebags eager to get a little bit closer to the artist on stage, that makes sense. But that isn't ever the case.
These are the same chuckleheads that are crying their eyes out standing in front of the hotel the object of their obsession might be staying at. They're the ones who fall to the ground like they've been shot when said stalker-iffic musician tosses an obligatory wave from a window far away from the weeping masses below.
Honestly, what gives? Am I missing something? Is there something wrong with me?
I get it with movies. I can't get through The Notebook without shedding a tear. I actually challenge anyone to and if you can, you have no soul.
P.S. I Love You reduced the woman sitting behind us in the theatre to a big ball of tears almost instantaneously. Beaches used to kick the shit outta Faye (My Mom) and her BFF Ena (My Other Mom), or maybe that had something to do with the copious amounts of Brandy Slush they would gulp back watching The Divine Ms. M do her thing...
The same goes for TV and books, more or less. Stirring emotional images or words or crafted images in your head from the words can illicit strong reactions. I get that. But losing a basketball game? C'mon... Seeing your favourite band live? Gimme a break...
Here is the challenge: Someone really needs to explain this to me. If you're a crier, I need to hear from you. Explain yourself. Help me see where the tears come from. Like I said, movies get a pass. Everything else is fair game. Enlighten me.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
The Rundown: Listen Up Hollywood!
To say this week has been a bit tense here would be like saying the Patriots are decent...
With that in mind, it's time to lighten things up a helluva lot with a Rundown inspired by Slapshot 2, American Pie Presents: (Insert College-ish Name Here) and anything that begins with National Lampoon's Presents, except for Van Wilder.
Top Five Worst Film Ideas
5. Sequels to Mediocre Movies, Starring a Totally Different Cast
The Prince & Me was cute. Save the Last Dance was predictable, but sweet. Julia Stiles was in both. The Prince & Me 2 was crap, as was Save the Last Dance 2. Julia Stiles was in neither. Moral of the story? When you're doing a sequel to a marginally good movie and the stars don't want to reprise their lead roles, reconsider, unless you're big on Direct to DVD. Did you even know they made a Butterfly Effect 2? I'm already a little sick to my stomach that there is a Step Up 2 coming. Why Hollywood, why? Leave well enough alone, I beg you...
4. Compilation Parodies
Scary Movie was funny. Scary Movie 2 through 47 sucked balls, as did Epic Movie, Date Movie and I'm damn sure that the soon to be released to The Comebacks is going to suck balls too. The reason? A movie that is 97 minutes of making fun of stereotypical elements of other movies isn't funny to begin with and it's really not funny when some jackass industry executive lets these same band of idiots - the non-Wayans Brothers unfunny guys who wrote Scary Movie - do it over and over and over again. If you want to see it done well, go get Hot Shots. Now that was funny.
3. Actiony Horror Flicks Starring That Guy From Starship Troopers and Giant Insects
Actually, any movie involving Patrick Muldoon is a bad idea. The guy is pure poison. Pairing that guy with genetically enhanced killer spiders - I'm not making this shit up - that attack a ski team training for the Olympics at Forbidden Mountain -seriously, this is the plot - is called Ice Spiders and you can get your copy tonight at Blockbuster Video! While there, also grab Kaw, featuring deadly crows and Sean Patrick Flannery or Black Sheep with the ravenous herds of killer sheep. Seriously, who the fuck sits at home and thinks this is a good idea for a movie? Better yet, who agrees with that douchebag and gives him the money to make it?
2. "Grappling Gang"*
Guy #1: It's a group of guys who get together and wrestle in rundown warehouse to take out their frustrations with everyday life.
Guy #2: Sounds a lot like Fight Club.
Guy #1: Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is way different. For one, it's about grappling, not fighting. Second, no one you've ever heard of is going to be in it. Third, it doesn't have any of the social commentary or outstanding dark humour of Fight Club.
Guy #2: So it's basically sweaty, shirtless guys "grappling"? No real story or plot or point?
Guy #1: You got it!
Guy #2: Sounds a lot like gay porn... Not that there's anything wrong with that per se...
* This one applies across all genres too. Imitation may be the finest form of flattery, but it sucks ass on celluloid...Please stop it immediately!
1. We Haven't Done a (Insert Title Character Here) Flick in a While
There is a reason for that - No one wants to see them anymore. We thought you knew that.
If we wanted to see another Die Hard, we would have been all over you for one after With a Vengeance. We weren't though, were we? It's because no one believes 55 year old John McLain is still able to kick that much ass.
Who gave the go ahead on Mr. Bean's Holiday? There wasn't ever anything funny about a mute who makes stupid faces for 90 minutes in the first place, so why would that be any different now?
Thanks for fucking up Superman too, because we really needed to bring back the Man of Steel so you could have The Crippled Guy from Usual Suspects play Lex Luther and some new talentless pretty boy pour himself into a unitard. Weren't you paying attention when Smallville went off the air? The general public is done with all things Superman.
And while I'm at it - Rambo? Are you fucking kidding me? He's 97! Rocky Balboa wasn't enough for you? You know Sly is just going to be like, "Eh, uh, I should redo all my movies. Somebody uh call Wesley Snipes and Sandy Bullock and see if dey wanna do Demolition Man again." Sad thing is, somebody in Hollywood would make that movie.
Since we're riffing on movies...
Bonus Additional Bad Idea!
Comic Book / Video Game Movies by Non-Comic Book / Video Game People
Listen, if the guy writing or directing the piece doesn't have a huge hard-on for the comic/game they are adapting, stop. You're just going to fuck it up and piss off a whole lot of people. Plus, someone who does get a massive stiffy for this shit would probably do a really good job. Sadly, this isn't always 100% accurate, as the same guy - Mark Steven Johnson, a big time comic book geek - fucked up great titles like Daredevil and Ghost Rider.
D'you know why I love movies so much though? Because even with naming all this garbage, there are still thousands - literally thousands - of movies that are outstanding that you can watch. That's awesome...
Monday, December 31, 2007
2007 Year In Review
As the clock starts closing in on midnight, like everyone else in the world, today is a day of reflection on the past 365 days in my life. 2007 was an exceedingly eventful year with many milestones, memories and meaningful moments. Here is a look back at some of them...
A Year As A Newfie
Like I have said countless times before - everyone needs to come out here at least once, preferably during the summer months - so you can marvel at how beautiful Newfoundland truly is. I was fortunate enough to spend the summer on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean and my time in total here has been an experience I will never forget. Maybe one day, when I'm grey and old, I'll move back and be the cranky old guy who lives in Portugal Cove that used to be a writer or something.
Bugs & Cranks
Who would have thought that replying to a harmless little Craigslist ad would end up being the catalyst to my foray into writing for a living? Shortly before 2007 got under way, I joined a little baseball site to cover the Jays with zero expectations and an abundance of optimism. Two months into the baseball season, we were one of the biggest sites on the 'Net as far as the diamond was concerned and the talent pool at B&C continues to grow. Two personal highlights for me were penning my Josh Hamilton piece Five Tools, Eight Years and One More Chance months before he became one of the feel good stories of the season and catching my first Sports Illustrated link with The Anti-Ripkens.
Odd Job Jack
There was a stretch from March until June where I was more or less unemployed. Nothing I was being offered was remotely interesting to me and I kept quitting crappy jobs. All the while, Sarah stood by my side and supported my need to be proud of what I was doing, even though I wasn't contributing financially. While Blockbuster isn't glamourous, I love the people I work with, getting free movies ain't a bad deal and it's a lot better than working at the call centre. Thanks for letting me be me Baby Girl...
I Had Passion, Lost Passion and Found Passion Again
The road to writing for Passion Magazine was a long and frustrating one, but worked out in the end. I was originally contacted in June about doing a story, then stopped hearing from them altogether for nearly two months before the new Managing Editor got back in touch and filled me in. Two months later, my name was in print on two stories in the re-launch issue and is penciled in for a feature in Issue #2.
Worst. Vacation. Ever. (But It's Gonna Make a Great Movie One Day)
We should have just gotten the hint when we couldn't make it to the Dominican for Tim & Tania's Wedding. Or maybe after the Emergency Appendectomy. Instead, the car we needed to go to Ontario to pick up is a pile of scrap somewhere near Flamborough, there is one less deer in the world and the last week of 2007 was the most hectic, least relaxing week in the history of mankind. The only silver lining? I think I can write it into a pretty funny movie...
Becoming A Better Man
Warning: Some of you may not want to read this - it's sentimental and serious.
Over the last 365 days, I have become a much better man than I ever thought possible. I don't worry about myself and only myself any more. Actually, I don't even worry about myself first anymore and that is an incredible feeling. This year, I swallowed my pride and got my financial house in order by filing bankruptcy. Getting to that point was irresponsible, but knowing it was the best option was the grown up thing to do. I became a better friend - flying home for a wedding that I knew I had to be at and making time for those who are most important to me. Mostly though, the easiest thing to say is that I grew up this year. I realized what I want in my life and have done everything that I could do to make sure that happens and that's saying something...
Favourites of 2007
Big Movie: Zodiac
Everything about it was awesome. David Fincher is still a genius behind a camera, Robert Downey Jr. is still a genius in front of one and Jake Gyllenhall even made me forget about his little trips up the mountain with Ennis Del Mar... the fact that it's based on real events makes it even creepier.
Little Movie: A Guide to Recognizing You Saints
Another appearance by Mr. Robert Downey Jr. in this one, this time starring as the grown up version of Shia Leboeuf's character Dito Montiel, another living breathing person and the man who wrote the book this movie is came from. The true breakout in this film though was Channing Tatum, who casts asides any thoughts that he might just be the next good looking crappy actor with his turn as Antonio.
Album: Alright, Still by Lily Allen
Infectious. Quick. Sharp. Those are the three best words to describe this album. There is something brilliant about the light, airy, lilting nature of the "kiss my ass you stupid bastard" songs on the album and "LDN" is worth it for the horn section alone.
Song: "Stronger" by Kanye West
Anyone who wants to doubt Kanye as the greatest mind and talent in hip hop can drop me a line here and we'll get it on. Be warned though - this will end with me playing Kanye and you being 50 Cent. Mixing Daft Punk with his trademark bravado, Kanye scored the best song of the year.
Song: "Crank Dat" by Soulja Boy
Just because hearing Sarah try to yell out lyrics to it is one of my most favourite things in the world... and no Baby, it doesn't go "Soulja Boy I'll tell you what!" Superman these hos!
Book: Extra Innings by Patrick Smith
No, I'm not saying it just to kiss Smitty's ass and because he gave it to me for free. One, it is a really great read, whether you like baseball or not, because it is about life as told through a season with his baseball team. Two, it serves as daily motivation and a daily reminder that I can make something out of this here writing thing. No longer are published authors whose book I've read random people I know nothing about and that makes the pursuit of my dreams all the more plausible. Thanks for that Smitty - and I can't wait for Book #2... I'll even buy it this time!
So long 2007. It was eventful. Bring on 2008...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Things I Learned This Week
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Of Super Spies, Teenage Wizards and House Flipping
Don't get me wrong - I would very much rather be airborn on route to Vancouver at this time instead of sitting in The Cove, but the situation being what it is, it's been a pretty enjoyable day all around.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The Rundown: One Sick Puppy
So I woke up this morning feeling like ass and it hasn't subsided since. Thankfully, I'm off tomorrow, which affords me to opportunity to do nothing but the five things that make up today's Rundown...
Top Five Things To Do When I'm Sick
5. Sleep
Pretty much the most obvious of the list. Who doesn't like staying in bed all day, sick or not?
4. Watch Old Movies
Since no one can sleep all day, there doesn't need to be any getting out of bed and old movies are the perfect solution. You've seen them hundreds of times, so if you do pass out - or need to run to the bathroom - who cares? Personal favourites include Pretty Woman (it's the only movie we owned when I was in high school), Thank You For Smoking and High Fidelity.
3. A Nice, Hot Soak in the Tub
I understand that following up Pretty Woman with a nice, hot soak in the tub is going to make some question my masculinity, but I don't give a damn... It's not like I'm adding in lilac bath oils or having a bunch of candles lit or anything like that; I'm just saying a nice hot bath soothes the aches and pains is all.
2. Read Magazines
I'm quite certain that trashy magazines and sports books like SI and SLAM were created for days like I'm sure tomorrow is going to be. Easy to digest, quick to read and requiring absolutely no mental effort whatsoever... just the way we like them.
1. Being A Total Sook
The only thing better than the four that came first, is getting to stay in bed and have someone look after you by bringing you your favourite movies and trashy magazines, then drawing you a bath when you finally wake up from your mid-afternoon siesta. In an interesting twist, Sarah is off almost all day tomorrow... SWEET!
* * * * *
Update to yesterday: Still no Passion in St. John's, plus the website doesn't go up until tomorrow or so it says today... if I get up in the morning and it says Friday, I'm going to start worrying.
* * * * *
ESPN has a writer named Jemele Hill, who I have to say, makes me angrier than any one person in the world has to date.
Ms. Hill likes to interject race into every single article she writes, whether it belongs there or not. I agree that sometimes race is a factor, but her post yesterday on the tragic death of Washington Redskins Safety Sean Taylor was not the time or place. I was impressed with her coverage until this:
Although study after study shows black men are more likely to be victims of crime, rarely do they receive victim treatment. When black athletes are crime victims, the undertone seems to be they somehow were at fault. Eddy Curry, Antoine Walker and Bucs cornerback Phillip Buchanon all have been victims of home invasions that seem as orchestrated as the one that claimed Taylor's life. In March of 2006, Buchanon was stripped naked and tied up by seven men in ski masks who robbed him and jammed a gun in his mouth. This past July, Curry and his family were bound by duct tape as men robbed him at gunpoint in his suburban Chicago home. The Pistons' Flip Murray narrowly escaped the same fate, slamming the door on two gunmen on his porch before he called police. Yet we seem to think it's much more likely a black athlete is holding the gun instead of staring down the barrel of one.
I haven't heard anyone saying Sean Taylor was to blame or at fault for the unfortunate circumstances that took place, nor did I hear anything like that in regards to Curry, Buchanon or any of the other athletes mentioned. The simple fact is that Ms. Hill didn't have an appropriate angle to play the race card from, so she created one on her own.
To me - and I know this might seem like the easy opinion and notion, but whatever - race will become less of an issue when people stop making it an issue, from both sides. Not everything in this world is racially motivated. Someone at The World Wide Leader needs to make that clear to Jemele Hill.
Continue reading ...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Film School
As some of you may know, in addition to being the world-renowned blogger that I am, I spend upwards of 30 hours a week standing behind the counter at Blockbuster Video getting my Randal Graves on, without the graphic ordering of porn over the telephone in the presence of small children.
Let's not kid ourselves here either, I work at Blockbuster for one reason and one reason only - free rentals. No, it's actually like Nick Naylor says: "It pays the mortgage" which is actually rent in my case, but that's just semantics.
Anywho - the problem (or one of the problems) with me rockin' the Block is that I'm an incredible film snob, which puts me in a precarious position at least once or twice a day where I have to stop myself from laughing at what people will actually pay to watch. Pumpkinhead 4? Honestly?
Which brings me to the focus of this here rambling...
The Spencer Kyte Guide to Blockbuster
By no means is this an all encompassing list or anything like that, just a couple of pointers from a guy who has watched more movies than you and your five closest friends combined. Shall we?
Don't be afraid of Documentaries
Yes, they're short on explosions and CGI and big name stars, but they're chalk full of information and knowledge. And it isn't only Michael Moore who makes documentaries.
Recommendations: The Devil Came On Horseback about the conflict in Darfur or Shut Up & Sing which details the whole Dixie Chicks uproar from a couple years back.
Big Budget Does Not Equal Better
Ghost Rider cost a lot of money to make. It's barely watchable. You Kill Me didn't and it's easily the best movie I've seen this year. Sir Ben Kingsley as an alcoholic hitman is priceless.
Recommendations (besides You Kill Me): Brick, Thank You For Smoking and stay the hell away from The Reaping.
Subtitles Aren't Harmful to Your Health
Can you read? Then you can enjoy a subtitled movie as much as any other. Granted, I understand the fact that people rent movies so they can watch something and you've got to be in the right state of mind to enjoy a subtitled film, but boycotting them altogether would be a mistake.
Recommendations: Letters from Iwo Jima and Pan's Labyrinth.
There is a reason it wasn't in theatres...
Sure you can find some pretty decent Direct to DVD titles, but for the most part, it wasn't a theatrical release because the people making the movie knew it wasn't going to do very well with The Popcorn Set. As such, something that was in theatres almost always trumps something that came right to Blockbuster.
Recommendations: Watch The Departed or Fracture before you grab Animal 2 or Man About Town
Sequels
If the actors who were in the first film didn't come back for the second, that should tell you something. And no, the fact that the Prince in Prince & Me 2 is the same guy doesn't count. Consider this The Batman Theory. The original - Michael Keaton in Tim Burton's - was great, then they both walked and the revolving door of actors and directors started until the series spiraled into oblivion. Thankfully Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale have breathed new life into The Dark Knight...
Recommendations: Ocean's Thirteen not Butterfly Effect 2
The Book is Always Better
A lot of people - parents and kids - have been coming in lately looking for various Shakespearean adaptations and other book into film ventures. This frightens me, (1) because I'm a writer and need people to be able to read in the future to continue paying the bills and (2) because I can't think of a single film version that has been better than the book. As great as The Godfather was, Mario Puzzo's words are still superior.
Five to Watch from the Past Year-ish
1. You Kill Me
2. Thank You For Smoking
3. The Prestige
4. Zodiac
5. Ratatouille
Five to Avoid Like The Plague*
1. The Reaping... get it? The Plagues...
2. Evan Almighty
3. Delta Farce
4. Home of the Brave
5. The Lake House
* this doesn't include all the unfathomable nonsense like Return of the Living Dead 47 and anything starting Steven Seagal / Jean Claude Van Damme.
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