Things I Learned This Week

1. Our Movers Suck!

First, they agree to a date for pickup. Then they tell us we're going to have to change that to accommodate their schedule. We sort things out, come to a compromise and our things get put on a truck.

Seven days later, they're still not here and the phone call we were told we'd get today as an update still has materialized.

For anyone out there considering a move, especially one of a great distance and with time constraints, this is why you pay the extra money to go with one of the big boys... you get your stuff when on time.


2. Maybe We Shouldn't Travel

The more I think about it, the more I realize that every trip we plan to make has some element of frustration beyond the usual, acceptable "sat next to a guy who smelled funny on the plane" type of annoyances.

In the last two years, we've had an appendix up-end Christmas in Vancouver, a collision with a deer derail a road trip back to Newfoundland, headaches galore with our wedding in the Dominican and the current travel situation that has us living like squatters with nothing more than an air mattress and the clothes on our backs.

Something tells me we need to take a break from trying to go places and just enjoy exploring the surroundings of Victoria.

3. Trying to be a Better Person

I've had a lot of windbags chiming in on pieces over at Bleacher Report lately, launching personal attacks at me and others just for the sake of having something to say, and I just don't get it.

What good comes from pissing in someone's cereal or calling someone "trailer trash" when you actually know very little about them? We're all guilty of it at one point or another, myself included, but I'm doing my best to stop. I really just don't see the point.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and can think whatever they want about just about anyone. But if all you can add to the conversation is namecalling and nonsense, why open your mouth in the first place? Because really, none of us are perfect...

4. Liking Victoria

This is exactly the type of city for me; lots to do, the things I like and want in close proximity and plenty of space and scenery to enjoy all rolled into one.

Instead of having to drive 30 minutes to buy clothes from the terrific trio of Zellers, Wal-Mart or Superstore, I can drive ten minutes, roam through all kinds of quality stores in the mall and pick up a Starbucks while I'm there... stopping on the way home to grab some sushi.

I get why some people love quiant little places like Kimberley as much as they do; it's a great town, just not for me. I need life, some traffic and options on every corner and so far, Victoria is coming through in spades.

5. Future YouTube Sensation

One of these days, I'm going to bring my camera outside and tape Luke wrestling with Chili, the pug from upstairs.

It's priceless and if David After the Dentist and Charlie Bit My Finger can become YouTube sensations, than Pug MMA can certainly follow suit, especially if I can capture the times that Chili bites onto Luke's chubby little cheeks and starts dragging him off the concrete and back onto the grass.

Seriously, it's hilarious... you'll see.

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Settled Into An Unsettled Situation

So we've landed in Victoria, found our place and spent the better part of a day dealing with the wonderful situation that is being completely unsettled.

Honestly, we shouldn't have spent those extra two days in Vancouver, as there is just so much running around that comes with moving to yet another new house that needs to get done, that getting here Monday afternoon would have made much more sense.

Good ol' hindsight...

The Positives

• Landlords are great, as is their dog Chili; he and Luke are already best friends
• Starbucks is around the corner - perfect distance to be a reward at the end of a walk...
• Sushi joints everywhere
• Internet and such is all set up and super fast
• House is going to work just fine, once our stuff arrives

The Negatives

• Stuff isn't here yet, so we don't know for sure if everything is going to fit
• Car needed fixing the minute we got here; nothing like an unexpected $300 to kick off a move
• Chapters is miles away
• Uncertainty doesn't sit well with the missus, but she's doing okay

The most interesting bit of uselessness thus far has to be the design of our suite. Monica, if you're reading this, do not take it as a slight on you and Derek... like I said at the start, you're awesome.

But whoever turned this basement into a rental unit was certainly smoking some crack when they decided it would be a good idea to leave half a staircase intact in the middle of our main living area.

The ceiling is all closed in, you can't see where the rest of the steps would lead, yet we've still got ten steps leading to absolutely nowhere taking up what would be an ideal place for our big-ass couch in the middle of our living room.

I suppose I could use them to do step aerobics or something...

Hopefully, everything gets here on Saturday as scheduled, so Sarah and I can get stuff organized and I can spend Sunday alternating between unpacking and watching football, because you know the TV is going to be the first thing I hook up.

If not, be prepared for a whole lot of entries here on iBlog, because there is only so much time I can spend staring at the stairs...

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Things I Learned This Week

1. Last Major Move

Not because I've suddenly been offered a job with a reasonable salary or because we know we'll fall madly in love with Victoria. No, this is the last major move because packing and hauling ourselves across this great country of ours is getting ridiculous.

Though it took just five hours worth of work to get 2/3 of the house parceled and packed yesterday, here we are today hoping that the movers tell us they're coming Tuesday or Wednesday so we can avoid the remaining 1/3.

At this point, I might be willing to pay for someone to come finish the job. Let me know if you're interested.

2. Suddenly Popular

Always amazes me how months and months can go by with little to no social activity dotting our calendar, but as soon as that final week in town rolls around, everyone wants to have dinner.

Not knocking having dinner with friends (or having friends at all for that matter) but how come you want to hang out now? I mean, we had an entire year to do stuff and now that we're super busy getting packed and cleaning the house, we need to hang out?

3. I'm Becoming a Coffee Nerd... and I Like It

Remember how I used to make fun of people who order grandiose concoctions with half this and no that and a shot of something else with their coffee?

Yeah - I'm that guy now and I don't care. The days of packing back super-fat coffees at Starbucks are over. If I want to indulge in something other than good old-fashioned java, it's now a No Fat, White Mocha, No Whip with a pump of peppermint.

Delightful!

4. A Welcomed Hiatus

With all the packing and moving and planning and roadtripping on the go right now, writing has taken and will continue to take a backseat.

As much as I thought it would drive me insane, I actually quite enjoy it. Not rushing around during the day to squeeze in a column here and an article there; it makes taking afternoon naps a lot easier.

For now, I'll write whenever inspiration / desperation hits me and chronicle some of our journey out to the island, but until we get settled and the new world headquarters of ESKimo Enterprises opens it's doors, I'm on hiatus... and I love it.

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Things I Learned This Week

1. A Few Less Headaches

Moving is a stressful process, so it was great to get a couple of the headaches out of the way earlier this week by finding a place to live and discovering that we have pretty solid landlords who will be living above us with their pug named Chili.

Additionally, getting great reviews of the neighbourhood from friends and family that have frequented Victoria over the past few years helps too; nothing worse than thinking you found a great place to live and ending up in a stinkhole.

Now all we have to do is coordinating getting everything out there with spending a couple days in Vancouver.

2. My Time Will Come

I'm still super impatient, but this week yielded a couple great interviews and a few chances to talk to people in the MMA industry, reaffirming my belief that writing about the sport will eventually become my sole career.

It was great to hear "Showdown" Joe Ferraro echo some of the thoughts and feelings I have, both about the growth of the industry and future opportunities, as well as some fighters to keep an eye on.

There is no better way to know you're on track than to have someone who has made it that you look up to and respect saying the same things as you.

3. I'm An Uncle Again!

Charlie Olivia Kyte was born on Wednesday and I'm happy to report that both mother and daughter are doing well.

I would have told you sooner, but no one called to tell me... not my brother (the dad), not my mom (the doting grandmother), no one.

How can I be out of the loop inside my own family circle?

4. Step-Mother-in-Law

Additional congratulations go out this week to my father-in-law Garry and his now fiancee Theresa. While step-mother-in-law is easily the most awkward title a person can hold, T is awesome and I'll be happy to spit out that mouthful of a moniker over the coming years.

These two are actually nauseatingly cute; they text each other all the time, talk three or four times a day and are like school kids around each other, all giddy and silly and in love... makes me sick!

Congratulations guys... may I suggest somewhere warm in the winter for the wedding?

5. Dedication is For Suckers... Sometimes

I like to consider myself a hard-working guy and someone who does whatever is needed of him at work, covering shifts, doing the little extras and all that stuff that should get a person ahead.

Turns out, I was just a chump.

Back to the slower season and what has my hard work through last ski season and all summer gotten me? Wednesday and Thursday days on the bar, where a grand total of 23 customers could possibly turn up.

The guy who left for the summer gets more shifts than me. The woman who works "when she needs to" gets more shifts than me and the one who showed up loaded every weekend all summer long gets more shifts than me.

Super...

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The Rundown: Countdown to Victoria

Now that we've found a place and confirmed moving dates with the the guys who are hauling our stuff to the island, all that is left to do is pack and think about all the things I'm looking forward to with this move to Victoria.

While I'm certainly going to miss aspects of life here in Kimberley, the simple truth of the matter is that despite my one year sabbatical to the quiet outdoors of British Columbia, I'm a city boy at heart and Victoria has more of what I'm looking for.

What are those things? Keep reading because they're the topic of today's Rundown.

Top 5 Things I'm Looking Forward to About Victoria

5. SUSHI
I don't think I can say this enough - I love sushi!

As much as the drive to Fernie makes for a nice evening out with the wife, spending three hours in the car to enjoy my favorite food just isn't worth it. Instead of having sushi once in a blue moon, we'll be able to walk around the corner and pick up dinner whenever we want.

Fast food will be a thing of the past; sushi will replace all on-the-fly meals and that is absolutely awesome.

4. BEST FRIEND FOR LUKE
This may sound silly to some, but since we aren't at the "having kids" stage of life, Cool Hand Luke gets treated like our child and everyone wants their kids to have friends.

With this move, the little puggy bastard will have a built in best friend right upstairs. The little ball of energy will be able to hop out into our fenced backyard and hang out with Chili, our landlord's pug.

While we'll certainly still play "The Bite Game" and go for some marathon walks to tire him out, it's going to be real nice to just open the door and let him expend some energy without having to stop everything to entertain the dog.

3. COVERING LIVE MMA EVENTS
In addition to making a long weekend out of the UFC's proposed trip to Vancouver this coming summer, Victoria is home to Armageddon Fighting Championships.

Being able to get out and cover events in person will be a great way for me to continue my development as an MMA writer and foster some new relationships within the industry.

Maybe the newspaper will be interested in having someone cover these events for them...

2. BETTER OPPORTUNITIES FOR SARAH
I love my jobs and I want the same for my wife.

Right now, she hates work and it's making her question her chosen career path. That makes me angry.

Hopefully, this move to a bigger and better hospital with actual opportunities for growth and improvement, not to mention support and stronger management, will result in a renewed faith in her abilities as a nurse and a long and fruitful career of helping others.

1. CIVILIZATION
Shopping. Restaurants. Museums. Movie Theatres.

Nothing personal Kimberley, but having a choice between buying my clothes at Wal-Mart, Zellers or Superstore just doesn't cut it for me.

I need a place with malls and stores and more than four restaurants and a big-ass movie theatre that shows all the new movies and museums and Chapters and Starbucks...

You get the point.

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It's Official...

Victoria, here we come!

While the move was official a couple weeks ago when Sarah secured a job, you can never be 100% until you find a place to call home and over the last 18 hours, we've done just that.

If I may say so myself, it's going to be awesome.

Why?

For starters there are two bedrooms, which means world headquarters of ESKimo Enterprises will exist in their own separate space, as opposed being situated in the living room.

It's on the ground floor with a fenced backyard, so late night pee breaks for a certain hyper-active pug will involve opening a door instead of dragging my lazy ass off the couch for a stroll in the darkness.

We're not too far from Sarah's new hospital, there are a number of restaurant / pubs in the area where I can drop off resumes and our landlords, who will be living upstairs, seem absolutely great.

But the best part of all... they have a pug!

While Sarah and I will still have to work on making friends, Luke will have a built-in playmate and sparring partner right upstairs in the form of his new pal Chili.

There were certainly some other option, but this one just made the most sense, being in town and close to everything we want and need, including sushi.

Chili was the clincher.

I just hope he and Luke get along, although two pugs wrestling it out for ownership of the backyard could make for an awful cute YouTube video down the road...

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Things I Learned This Week

1. C'mon End of October
As much as I hate moving, this move can't get here fast enough.

Simply put, I'm over it here. Not that I won't miss certain people and the beautiful surroundings, but I need a city.

I need a place where people go out to eat for lunch and the guy who is stuck working during the day can actually earn some money.

And I need sushi.

2. Newspapers Don't Return Emails
Or at least not unsolicited emails from people telling them they need to improve their MMA coverage.

Between the Victoria Times-Colonist, the National Post and the Globe and Mail, you would think that one of them would at least send a "Thanks for you input, we'll be in touch" type email, knowing that if I'm willing to cold email two of the biggest newspapers in the country, a response email would make me do cartwheels.

Alas, no cartwheels this week; guess all that "slow and steady" advice I've been getting is the way I'm going to have to go.
3. Another Shining Moment for the US Justice System
Plaxico Burress started serving his two-year sentence for shooting himself earlier this week.

While I certainly agree that his decision to bring a concealed, loaded handgun into a club was moronic, am I the only one who thinks this feels like if the cops showed up in 8 Mile and hauled Cheddar Bob off to the clink when he shot himself?

He's an idiot, not a threat to society...
4. All Things Considered, Business is Good
As much as I'm over-anxious and anti-patience, my move to writing about MMA has been outstanding and business is good.

In just shy of five months, I've gone from starting Keyboard Kimura as an outlet for myself to being syndicated on four strong sites, interviewing a number of talented fighters and MMA personalities and garnering well over 1,000 reads per day.

Even if nothing else changes between now and May, I'll easily break the 300,000 page views mark and that is pretty damn impressive if you ask me.

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Good Times, Good Times

So the rain and misery that was supposed to accompany Tim & Michelle's visit to the booming metropolis of Kimberley has yet to materialize, which means we're getting out and about today.

However, we'll be a little slower than normal since we hammered back a bunch of booze last night.

Not anything gross - no one puked, no one is on their death bed this morning - but enough that I can officially say that moving to Victoria just became a whole lot more awesome because we'll get to spend far more time hanging out with these two.

And when we do hang out, I know what three of us (Sarah, Michelle and this guy) will be drinking: Parrot Bay Vodka coolers.

Goddamn them things are good!

Not ultra-sweet like the thousands of brands of Bitch Pop out there, and not horribly tasteless of bland like so many other canned or bottled drinks you can get out there. These things are effin' awesome.

I'd tell you more, but the day awaits. Someone has to make breakfast, Michelle and I need to start on the Caesars and then we're off to float down the river...

See you tomorrow.

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Things I Learned This Week

1. I Must Learn Patience
No, this isn't a new revelation, as the topic of my lack of patience has made an appearance or two here over the years.

That being said, I spent the week talking to some people I greatly respect within the MMA industry and everyone said to be patient; take the small opportunities, make the most of them and keep putting out good work.

Eventually, good things will happen. So for now, we remain patient.

2. Pay Would Be Nice, But The Exposure is Great Too
Three weeks, four pieces posted to the MMA page of Sports Illustrated.

As much as I would love for someone to randomly drop into my life and offer me a fat salary for covering the sport, it's hard to argue with an opportunity to have thousands of readers checking out my material.

While it doesn't pad the wallet, it sure looks great on the resume.

3. Never Going to be Those Guys
Friday night's drunken morons in the bar solidified that while I certainly enjoyed my booze-fueled days of before, I have absolutely no interest in repeatedly revisiting them.

What makes it better is that these tools are mangled and telling tall tales in a Kelsey's... full of other dudes. Being a drunken moron is one thing, being a drunken moron at a massive sausage fest is even better, where better means funnier to the sober bartender.

Don't get me wrong: I still enjoy a few drinks (as I will this evening) but three day benders in a quiet little town like Kimberley aren't my idea of a good time.

4. The Wife is into MMA
While she didn't have much choice in the beginning, what with me prattling on about it all the time, now she's admittedly getting into it on her own... and that is awesome.

Watching the fights last night, she actually delivered a "Wow, that guy really has no wrestling or jiu jitsu whatsoever, huh?" when Chris Leben was getting dominated on the ground.

That's my girl!

5. Moving Update
Sarah has an interview on Friday and there are a couple different opportunities at the hospital she's been looking at, so that eliminates some of the worry.

Addditionally, we've now got some contacts out there who have assured us that work for me would be easy enough to find, as would an apartment, seeing as we're not students any more. Apparently, they really like hearing the words, "Oh, I'm a nurse."

Jackpot! See you in November Victoria...

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Things I Learned This Week

1. Cris Cyborg Might Be An Actual Cyborg

And that is a very scary prospect for any female looking to make a name for herself in the Strikeforce 145 lbs. division, because the champ is just 24 and an assassin inside the cage.

I thought Gina Carano would be able to stick and move and use technique to counter Cyborg's power. I learned that there is no real counter to Cyborg's power, other than getting smashed in the face so much that the ref mercifully calls an end to things.

And don't feel bad for Carano either; I'm sure there are hundreds of guys will to help nurse her back to health.

2. The Flu Sucks Balls!

I had two days off this week and spent 75% of that time on the couch alternating between being freezing cold and sweating my ass off. How one man can sweat through six shirts in 24 hours is beyond me.

Though I've been feeling better the last couple days, I'm clearly not back to full strength yet either; I won't tell you how I know this other than to inform you I'm still doing a great amount of reading each day on a porcelain reading chair...
3. All This Shameless Self-Promotion is Paying Off

Friday and Saturday, your favorite writer was featured on the MMA page of Sports Illustrated thanks to a well-written little preview from Bleacher Report. I know I've said it before, but that site has been a godsend.

If that isn't cool enough, an emerging organization called the MMA Fight Council contacted me to become a part of their Writer's Guild. It's a collection of some of the best talents in the MMA field... and me.

Now if I could just find some way to make a little money out of all this.

4. The Next Move is Coming Together

Finally some good news for my wife!

By the sounds of things, a move to Victoria and an opportunity at a much more enjoyable position at a much more structured and supported hospital is not much more than a formality.

While it means we have to once again box up all of our worldly possessions, that is a worthy hassle for a chance for Sarah to have the enjoyment of a job the same way I do with all my writing endeavours.

Plus, there is actual shopping and restaurants in Victoria... no more 90 minute drives for sushi!

5. I'm Good At Things That Don't Make Me Money

In addition to being an outstanding volunteer writer, I'm also quite adept at playing Fantasy sports.

All four of my baseball teams reside at or near the top of their respective divisions, with the two that are outside of first place being the hottest teams around and poised to make a move down the stretch.

And now it's time to get started on Fantasy Football, with Draft #1 taking place on Tuesday night.

I really need to find some hobbies that pay better.

6. If You're A Guy and You Don't Love I Love You, Man You Have to Surrender Your Testicles

It's just so awesome. I would argue there isn't a guy around who can't watch that movie and name two friends, one for each role, and remember numerous instances from the movie that happened in their own life.

And it does it without being horribly cheesy and cliche like most movies. Additionally, once we buy a house and actually settle down somewhere, I'm building a man cave like Jason Segel's.

No word yet on whether or not it will have a Masturbation Station.

You're welcome for that...

I'll end there...

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The Rundown: Forecasting the Future

The last week has been insane on a number of levels for me, and has gotten me thinking about the future a great deal.

Not the future like "Will we ever get to have flying cars like the Jetson's?" or "What if we really do live in The Matrix?" but more in a sense of the direction my life is heading and all that good stuff.

You would think a guy who spends a combined six hours a day (most days) sitting at his computer in basketball shorts writing and playing UFC Undisputed wouldn't have much to think about, but you'd be wrong.

Why would you go and think something like that about me in the first place? Do you want to hurt my feelings? Just kidding ...

Five Future Thoughts Dominating My Thinking

5. There Are Better Jobs Than This, Right?
Slugging away at a restaurant at an uninhabited ski resort over the summer isn't really proving to be the most rewarded experience life has to offer. But in the last couple years, these are the only kind of jobs that have been coming my way.

Between Blockbuster, Montana's and Kelsey's, I've been a chain store chump for the last couple years and I'm starting to think it's all I'm cut out for. I don't want to be wearing crappy uniforms and slinging mediocre food you can get at any one of 47 other chain restaurants a year from now...

4. What I Want to be Doing is Getting Paid to Write
Why else do you think I spend six hours a day sitting at this here computer, pounding away on the keys, writing blog posts and articles and chapters for my still-unaccepted-by-an-agent book that would be literary gold?

As much as there have been some breakthroughs and progress in the last month or so (cool interviews, offers to cover events), there still isn't anyone willing to put my name on a bi-weekly piece of paper that says how much money they just turned over to Sarah on my behalf.

Hopefully, someone will start doing that in the next year or so.

3. Kids?
Let's face it: I ain't gettin' any younger.

Sorry, I just always wanted to say that because, well, it's one of the most ridiculous routinely-used phrases out there. No one is getting any younger, so just stop saying it.

Anywho, I've always said I didn't want to be too old to play with my kids and by play, I don't mean fall asleep in the chair at 6:00 pm so they can draw on me in permanent markers. I mean get out there and whip their asses at basketball, coach their soccer teams (though I have no stategic knowledge of soccer whatsoever) and do the fun things my old man did when I was growing up.

Clearly, I've been thinking about this a little. Don't worry - Sarah knows.

2. Being from "Parts Unknown" is Getting Tired
At Kelsey's, your name tag is supposed to have your hometown underneath your name. Mine says, "Parts Unknown." That's what happens when you've live in three provinces over a span of six months when you start a new job that wants your hometown on your name tag.

Though it's an easy way to spark a conversation with my tables - who then see how charming and entertaining I am, not to mention a terrific server, thereby tipping me more - I'm really, really ready to find a city, settle down and start getting down to taking care of #3 if you know what I mean.

That's why I'm so jacked up about this potential (read: probable) Victoria move. It offers all the things we're looking for, puts us closer to some of our family and has been discussed as the final destination in the whirlwind travels of Sarah & Spencer.

1. Sarah
Tell me you didn't know this was coming?

While I do spend a bunch of time just thinking about my beautiful wife and wondering what she's doing, a lot of the thoughts as of late have been about making her life better, which is where #2 really comes into play.

Her job sucks, the hospital sucks and it's making her doubt herself and that isn't cool with me. She's a terrific nurse and has proven that before, only to have this poorly-run hospital crush her spirit and make her question whether she even really wants to be a nurse at all.

I know she does and I know all she needs is the right environment to be successful and happy. My goal is to provide said environment in any way I can, whether it's moving to Victoria or making a killer dinner.

See? I got a lot on my mind...

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Can't Work When I Got No Internet

That's been the message on my computer for most of the last 24 hours. Outside of the weird little window I had last night to drop Albert into your life once again, the damn Internet has been on the fritz.

Pretty hard to keep up a following as an Internet writer when you can't connect for more than two minutes at a time.

Count this as another reason moving to a bigger center makes so much sense. A man needs better Internet service.

We've gotten smashed by thunderstorms the last couple days and went through a two hour power outage yesterday as well. Clearly, those kind of things affect Internet connectivity and you would think that the people in charge of the buildings here would recognize something like that.

You would think that, wouldn't you?

Nope, not the case here. Despite his having come and gone already this morning, I had to call the Building Maintenance guy and get him to come up and reset the modem for me, you know, so I could do a little work and stop playing Undisputed.

Wouldn't you know it - one little reset and we're up and running.

I wonder if he'll remember that after the thunderstorms we're supposed to get later today?

Probably not... that's why I have his number on speed dial.

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Things I Learned This Week

1. My Resort Doesn't Like Customers
How else can you explain the (a) lack of ability to show the UFC fight cards in our bar at Kelsey's and (b) lack of advertising around the fact that the golf course we operate in conjunction with apparently having UFC 100 last night? The local dive was packed so tight that Sarah and I couldn't find a seat, yet our bar was completely empty. Super.

2. UFC 100 Kicked Ass
Last night's centennial UFC event, though actually UFC 105 if you're counting, was awesome and led me to bring 10 Things over to Keyboard Kimura this morning. Go read the piece to get all my thoughts.

3. Back to the Drawing Board for Baby Names
For two years, Sarah and I have agreed that we were naming our daughter, should we have one, Charlie. Found out yesterday that my brother and his wife have selected that name for their soon-to-be-born daughter. We're always one step behind those two and it's getting ridiculous.

4. I Have No Time for Complainers
Walking the pug this AM, a lady who owns a place up here, but lives in Calgary was out back bitching about the hike in condo fees and whatnot associated with owning her condo here. Does it suck that you're being asked to pay more for a vacation home here than you pay for your mortgage in Calgary? Maybe, but you have a vacation home! Cry me a river... and for once I'm not talking Justin Timberlake.

5. Hello, Hip Hop?
It's me, Spencer. I need you to make an appearance on the popular music scene once again and I'm not talking about your current incarnations like The Black Eyed Peas or Soulja Boy. I'm talking to you Talib Kweli and you Mos Def. Call The Roots, tell them to quit doing Jimmy Fallon and put some serious and legit Hip Hop back on the airwaves or you're going to put me on indefinite hiatus from the music I love.

6. Another Move is in the Works
Not quite sure when and not quite sure where to just yet, but we're definitely getting out of Kimberley sometime soon. As beautiful as it is here, Sarah's job isn't anywhere near as fulfilling and rewarding originally anticipated and since I can do my thing anywhere, why not load up and ship off somewhere that we would actually like to settle down long-term?

That's it for this week's new nuggets of knowledge.

See you back here for more Albert next Sunday.

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10 Things I Learned This Week

1. Volunteering Sucks
I know this is a horrible thing to say, but hear me out. I don't actually mind volunteering myself - after all, I do more "volunteer" work than most people I know - but for a lot of people, volunteer means work until you're ready to leave, not until the job is done. Three hours of taking down Relay for Life later, my back is mangled.

2. Flat When It Mattered Most
Congratulations to Sid the Kid and the rest of the Pittsburgh Penguins. The better team truly did win. Watching Game 7, I couldn't believe my veteran Red Wings came out so flat and lethargic when it mattered most. Runner-up isn't that bad ...


3. For an MMA Writer, I Sure Don't Watch Much MMA
Once again, a UFC pay-per-view took place over the weekend and I was not in front of a television screaming for one of my picks to start performing better. The last card I actually sat and watched "live" was UFC 94 when GSP clobbered BJ Penn. That being said, I'm not missing UFC 100.

4. What's Shaq Going to Rap About Now?
Kobe got his ring without the assistance of The Big Diesel, so now what? Nothing, probably, except maybe a trade to Cleveland for Shaq which would make all the basketball writers in the world start talking about a Lakers - Cavs / Kobe - Shaq & LeBron final for the next 365 days.

5. Relocation Update
So I think we're staying here for the time being. Leaving any time soon just doesn't make financial sense and I mean, why not enjoy our summer as opposed to slugging freight across Canada once again? We're still looking, but just not as intently right now.

6. Happy 55th Battle Axe!
Not that she reads iBlog, but yesterday was my mom's 55th birthday. Yes, I called her Battle Axe. I call her many things. The one I call her most - though not when she's in earshot - is best friend. She annoys the shit out of me sometimes, but ol' Faye (yes, another nickname) is pretty great. Don't tell her I said that.

7. Busy, Busy, Busy
Five shifts at Kelsey's including a couple "Clopens" - close one night, open the next morning, grand total of about 10 hours between the two - along with four sites to write for as much as possible, a great article / feature to prep and, oh right, the book to finish prepping and get sent out. That doesn't even take into account the state of disrepair this house is currently in either...

8. Television Sucks
Maybe the more appropriate thing to say is Summer television sucks. There is nothing that I want to watch. All my favs (House, Grey's, Law & Order, SVU) are all in repeats and the summer programming is brutal. I've even grown sick of Iron Chef America re-runs and House Hunters International. Maybe I should go to the library and get some books to read?

9. Speaking of Libraries...
It's pronounced library, not libary and it frustrates me when people say otherwise. No, not fustrates - frustrates. Bad grammar and pronunciation drives me mental and there has been a whole lot of it around me in the last seven days.

10. The Head-Shaving Has Stopped
After more than a year of continuously not having hair for more than 10 days at a time, I've stopped shaving my head... sort of. The mohawk is back, baby and better than ever!

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10 Things I Learned This Week

In all honesty, this week was pretty quiet. No real uproars, no real breakthroughs, just a regular old week of edumication and experiences.

Let's get to them, shall we?

1. One Down, Countless More to Go

Sorry about yesterday folks, but goddamn Guitar Hero is crazy addictive. Round One of being a bass player is complete, which means there are only three more levels to go. Plus four levels on guitar. And four on vocals. And four more on drums once we buy a drum kit. Maybe I need to change that "this is the year I write my book" statement from a few months back...

2. Just Kidding

I actually got started on that there project earlier this week and I did so instead of picking up Bunny (that's my guitar's name...) and things are starting out smoothly. The objective is to get as much done in the next couple weeks before the Ski Season kicks off and I get busy at work (or so they tell me) so that I can focus on work for a four month stretch before focusing on the book once we get back from our little trip down South.

3. I'm Getting Married in Five Months

Exactly five calendar months from now, I'll be a married man. Everything is sorted out and the invoices even went in the mail earlier in the week. Now we just need to make some final selections with the people at the resort. With the weather starting to turn cold - although there is no real snow - thinking about the sun and sand in Samana warms me up.

4. Furniture in 4-6 Weeks

We scored a few pieces this week already, including an awesome stack bookcase. But in a couple more weeks, our bedroom set will get here and so will the killer high-top kitchen table with U-shaped connective booth-like stools. If you can't picture it, don't worry - there'll be pictures once it arrives. Now all we're missing is a coffee table.

5. Gettin' Paid to Write... Regularly

I mentioned a little something about this earlier this month, but now that it's official, I'll give you the full scoop. Every week, provided I submitted ten pieces to my people at The Love of Sports, I'ma get paid. Nothing that breaks the bank, but a little something something that provides incentive and encouragement to keep doing what I'm doing. And like my man Gerrit at TLOS said earlier this week, if you think filing ten pieces a week is tough, I had that number made... by Thurdsay.

6. They Tell Me It Snows Out Here

But so far, I don't believe it. London caught 70 cm earlier in the week and here I am living on a ski hill and all I have is the hum of the snowmakers running 24/7 a month before the resort goes live sot that it at least looks like you could use a snowboard or skis around here. If it don't snow, I ain't gonna make any money... and I like making money. C'mon snow!

7. Great Quote of the Week

Watched Strombo interview Russell Peters on The Hour this week. Peters is a huge hip hop head who used to spin before his standup career took off. So he's sitting in his chair in a corduroy suit when Strombo asks him about his love of hip hop and Peters delivers something along the lines of, "I don't look the part, but I am. I mean, you eventually have to grow up and stop dressing like an idiot." I couldn't have said it better myself. Just because my pants aren't around my ankles, doesn't mean I don't still love my hip hop.

8. Kids These Days...

I work with a lot of 16 to 21 year olds up here at Kelsey's. All they ever do is bitch about working, talk shit about one another and discuss plans for getting drunk and stoned. This is going to make me sound like the crusty old man, but what in the hell is with these kids these days? How can you be so brash as to call your weed hookup from the hostess stand, have a screaming match with the chick working Expo while standing in the In Door and show up to work so hungover that you spend 95% of your shift in the bathroom puking while I make my own drinks? We were bad, but we weren't this bad... were we?

9. Congratulations Abound

Congrats to my cousin Jamie and his fiancee Brianne on finding out they'll be having a beautiful baby boy five months from now. Yeah, they're due the same day we'll be getting hitched. Kinda cool if you ask me. And congratulations to Amanda Buchanan, the little sister of my man Bucky, who got married today.

10. Opening My Own Place in the Future Keeps Looking Better

Not just because I get real pissy working for other people - and I do - but because if Kelsey's can do the business they currently do in spite of the challenges I see then I could make myself some money with a cosy little bistro somewhere that is run correctly. Oh, I could serve the delicious Spicy Thai Soup with shrimp that I made yesterday too...

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Everything Really Is Coming Together

It's weird how two or three days can really change your outlook on things.

Not too long ago, I was worried about the hours I was getting at the restaurant, not having any furniture in our condo and if spending as much time writing for the various sites and publications I write for was actually worth the time I invested, seeing as the pay is always minimal.

Now, I'm sitting here fresh off spending a whack of cash on home furnishings that are awesome and eclectic and exactly the style of pieces that Sarah and I have been looking for, have adopted the outlook that hours away from the restaurant are great for writing and have gotten an opportunity with one of the sites (The Love of Sports) where the effort I put in will potentially be financially rewarding.

I've always said that I don't do what I do - the writing that is - for the money... yet and that is still the case. I would write at all these places regardless of pay, but getting the chance to see a small financial gain for the efforts that go into writing, submitting and publishing ten plus pieces a week on the site makes a huge difference in the old cheque book when you're a Minimum Wage Warrior like myself who relies on the kindness (and generosity) of others to keep a little change in my pockets.

It's not a life altering windfall by any stretch, but like I said Sunday, it's a start and whenever there is a start, it means there are more things to come and that is all the incentive I need for right now.

Three days ago I was looking for new jobs on the Internet and wondering when, if ever, we'd get all the DVDs off the floor in the living room.

The bookcase comes tomorrow and the best opportunity of my young writing career started today.

Funny how that works...

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10 Things I Learned This Week

Another week in the books. Time to find out what I figured out over the last seven days...

1. It's All The Same
After two weeks as a Kelsey's employee, this much I know for certain: it ain't no different than being a Montana's employee. Servers bitch about being slow and making no money, managers hide out in the office, guests are mediocre tippers and large groups think the world revolves around them. Actually, Montana's earns the victory because we never ran out of beer... or milk.

2. Mind-boggling Move
Our landlord came to collect his belongings this week and I'm at a loss for words. Granted, everything he took was his, but truthfully, a bunch of it made no sense at all. Left us the barbecue that comes with the condo, took the barbecue tools. Took the garbage cans from the bathroom, left the garbage on the floor for us to clean up. Took the deck of cards and cribbage board, left the instructional booklet for the complete rules of cribbage. Amazing!
3. Sarah & Spencer: Ghetto Fabulous
Right now, we're the height of Hobo Chic! Our dining room is made up of the outdoor furniture that doesn't need to collect snow on the balcony all winter, our living room consists of a futon and a rubbermaid bin turned table and our mattress rests all alone in our bedroom... on the floor... because we don't have a bed frame yet. Like I said, Ghetto Fabulous!
4. My Man D to the Rescue
I've made an instant friend at work. Dave, or My Man D, is about the same age as me, spent some time in The Hammer and is just an overall great dude. I thought this before he told me about all the household items he is ready to pack into his van and drive up to our condo for us so we don't have to remain Ghetto Fabulous. The deck furniture can go back on the deck, as he's got a kitchen table set we can use, the futon can move into the office where it's meant to go because he's offering up a couch and the small ass TV we're watching far too much of these days can go to hell because he's providing a 32" Sony Flatscreen for as long as we need too. I owe this man some beer...

5. Time to Press Reset
So, we're here and all the landlord's stuff is out. The interruptions and annoying things are done and over with, which means it's time to get settled and get started. Same as this summer, working at a restaurant affords me a great deal of time to spend here at this computer, so I need to get into the swing of things. I've been missing days left and right here (sorry...) and have really fallen off the Bugs wagon as of late and that isn't what I want. Since the newspaper here hasn't decided to get back to me (surprise surprise) focusing on the things I do have before me becomes even more important, starting today.

6. I've Got The Best Girl
How do I know? I came home from a crap afternoon at work yesterday, tired, frustrated, all that and what did she say?

"D'you wanna just take some time off and work on the book? They obviously don't really need you right now and if you get enough of it done, you could send it out to see what people think."

That made everything better, along with the homemade chilli and Okanagan Springs Pale Ale and reminded me that I really did luck out on this one. You're the best Baby!

7. Anything Can Happen Inside The Octagon
Just this week, two of my Top 10 Pound for Pound fighters were beaten. While word on the MMA Street is that "The Fireball Kid" Takanori Gomi was robbed of a decision in his fight in Japan, the undisputed best featherweight in the business Urijah Faber was knocked out cleanly by Mike Brown. This is why I love this sport.

8. Oh Right, We're Getting Married Soon
Not that we forgot, but amidst all the moving and unpacking and buying all the little things that you need everytime you move, we've gone a month without talking to our travel agent. Not that that's completely horrible, but apparently no one has gotten any information from her yet and seeing as the date is getting closer by the day, we're thinking she shoudl probably get on that. That means, tomorrow we get on her.

9. Speaking of Weddings...
I'd like to congratulate my brother Peter in advance for tying the knot on Tuesday to his fiancee Brooke Smith. They're off to Vegas for a week or wedding fun and Sarah and I are both bummed that we couldn't make the trip. I'm sure there'll be lots of pictures and we're getting to spend a week with them in the Dominican, so we'll celebrate again then.
10. Did I Mention History Was Made This Week?
YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

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10 Things I Learned This Week

1. You Can Call Me a Liar If You Like...

But you'd be dead wrong because I ain't smoked since our plane touched down here in BC. Not one dart, not even for my birthday or anything. In fact, I've even turned down smokes while at work this week. Yeah, I'm patting myself on the back again...

2. Slow Doesn't Quite Cover It

I'm pretty sure that we would be okay at work with just one person, that's how quiet things are up this way right now. I'm on days and days are generally quiet this time of year, but having four people on shift to cover four tables over the "Lunch Rush" is pretty silly. That being said, I rocked two hours solo today and finally made a little money.

3. I'm Not The Same Spencer

It's funny how many people imagine that I'm the same alcoholic retard they knew during university even though that was a long time ago now. Lots of people expected me to be going out and getting blackout drunk, even though I know exactly three people in this town.

4. Johnny Domestic is Coming

Slowly but surely, my alter ego Johnny Domestic is starting to make his mark out here. Vacuuming, dishes, laundry, dog-walking - I do it all. And let us not forget cooking because that's actually where I'm at my best. Two years from now, Johnny Domestic will have taken over...

5. Zack & Miri

Rolled into Cranbrook last night to catch Kevin Smith's latest and were not disappointed. Without spoiling anything, I'll say there were a bunch of laughs and Craig Robinson needs to be in more movies because he was awesome. So was Tisha Campbell-Martin who used to be Gina on Martin back in the day. Weirdest part of the flick - Jason Mewes. Dude looks so different now that he's off the junk. That and he's pretty close to naked for most of the movie, so that there's that too.

6. Two Days Until History is Made

On Tuesday night, the course of history will forever be changed and I am so excited about it. Barring something insane happening, Barack Obama will win the US Presidential Election and we'll witness the first black President of the United States. Expect something later on in the week about this and why I think it is so important to us as a people and a culture, regardless of where we live.

7. Stuff is Expensive

It's easy to plan and budget for big things, the items you know for sure you're going to need. That part is simple. What you never think about is all those stupid little things that you take for granted because they've just been around forever. That stuff adds up. We've spent more money on little things like that in the last two weeks than we have on furniture, entertainment and dining out combined. Stupid can opener and cheese grater...

8. Two, Maybe Three Days Tops

If everything goes according to Hoyle, the landlord will have all his things out of here by Wednesday night at the latest. That means all the boxes that are piled up in front of the window will get unpacked, the new desk (my new desk) will get assembled and my computer - my precious, precious computer - will be back up and running before the weekend. As much as we're going to look super ghetto for the next little while - what with one futon and a foam mattress on the floor being our only furniture - at least it will all be ours and we can start building.

9. Welcome Back Basketball!

Nice to see the NBA back in business and even nicer to see the Raptors out to a 3-0 start thus far. Chris Bosh is playing like a man possessed out of the gate and I truly believe that a healthy Jermaine O'Neal makes the Raps a legit contender in the East.

10. Withdraw Symptoms

I don't know what I'm going to do. There isn't a Chapters even remotely close to us. There's Starbucks and I wasted a great deal of time there on Monday waiting for Sarah to finish work, but it's no where near the same. The only bookstore I've seen so far is a tiny little Coles in "The Mall" which is better described as a shopping center. Malls have lots of stores that you want to buy things in; the biggest store in this "mall" is Zellers.

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10 Things I Learned This Week

Week #1 in the new digs has been hectic, entertaining and a little nerve rattling at times. It has also been educational and here, as always, is what I learned.

1. A Bar is a Bar is a Bar

Filled out all my Kelsey's paperwork Wednesday and dove in head first working a training shift Thursday. Low and behold, pouring beer is the same in British Columbia as it is in Ontario. Who'da thunk it? Right now, the place is a ghost town, but I'm getting hours and that's the key for right now. The people will come... hopefully.

2. Making Sushi is Easier Than You Think

So we learned last night and let me tell you, it was delicious. An old friend of Sarah's and his girlfriend gave us the tutorial and helped us down the loads of rolls that amounted from four of us spreading rice on nori for the better part of an hour. Now, our rolls didn't look quite as nice as the ones you'd pay to have made for you at your local sushi bar, but this was our first time. Like everything else, the first time is kinda dicey and you get better with every try.

3. Stuff Everywhere

The truck arrived yesterday afternoon with all our goods and now there is stuff everywhere in our condo. That's not such a bad thing, except that, well, where the hell do we put this crap? With the landlord's gear still sitting around here for another week or so, it's kind of hard to fully establish our setup with bedrooms full of furniture and cupboards full of leftover food. Good thing we never eat at the dining room table - it's now become the storage center.

4. Still...

This place is really starting to get that home feeling. The kitchen is full of our stuff, the dog has finally realized that this is his house and not just some place we're shacking up for a week and we're all ready to get started on the office once the bunk beds go. We've got the new desk, some artwork for the walls and a whiteboard so we can continue to pretend that we're an organized couple that adheres to schedules.

5. UFC 90: Letdown

Not only did I have a horrible night predicting the fights - I think I managed three winners on the whole card - but to have the Anderson Silva / Patrick Cote fight end the way it did was an utter disappointment. Cote became the first man to make it to the third round with "The Spider," only to blow out his knee advancing on Silva to open the round. One thing everyone needs to take away from last night though is that Thiago Alves is legit! He hammered Josh Koscheck from start to finish.

6. No Word of a Lie...

There are deer everywhere. I know I've mentioned it over and over and Sarah has started to think I'm a total nutcase because I'm so fascinated by these stupid creatures, but they're literally everywhere and it still amazes me. They don't even flinch when you approach them. In fact, they turn and face you, sizing up whether they want to take you on or not. I need to get over it and I know it, but for one more week, I'm still awestruck by Bambi's peeps roaming my neighbourhood.

7. Smoke Free

10 days, no darts. That's the longest stretch in some time and I actually haven't had a single moment where I've thought, "You know, I wish I had a smoke right about now." Not one. How awesome is that? Now I just have to get back to the exercise portion of things and we'll see if I can't shed this spare tire that resides around my midsection.

8. The Big 3-0 Doesn't Bother Me

I was asked last night if I'm nervous or scared about turning 30 on Thursday and I thought I would share my answer with you here. I've got the girl of my dreams, a career aspiration that I'm passionate about, another job that I actually enjoy that keeps some money coming in, a great dog and a killer place. I actually love the way my life is right now and hitting some supposed aging milestone couldn't change that.

9. Back at the Virtual Felt

Since we're not quite at the point of setting up the office - stupid bunkbeds - I've taken to wasting time back at PokerStars on Sarah's computer. Cool fact: she installed it herself because the future Mrs. Kyte likes her some poker too! Seriously, I got me the best woman in the world - we spent the afternoon unpacking watching football and the WSOP.

10. We're Watching 13 Going on 30

Honestly, I love Jen Garner; she's cute, she's fun, she's usually entertaining. This thing? Horrible. Might actually crack my Top 10 for Worst Movies Ever. Cute little premise, but I mean really... horrible. This is me returning the favour for an afternoon of football and poker.

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Pretty Busy Saturday... Not Sure If We'll Have Enough Time

Today is my Frank the Tank day.

Well, I don't think I'm going to be jumping on a beer bong later tonight and eventually ruining my relationship with Sarah, but still, we've got a pretty big Saturday planned.

First of all, our stuff should be here within the next two hours. That means that before noon today (this was written at 9:30) everything we've been waiting for will get here and we'll have a living room full of boxes that need to be unpacked.

The arrival of all our stuff leads to the second activity of the day - returning the rental car. Our stuff includes our car, Vic, so we won't be needing the 2000 Taurus we're been spinning around for the last week and change, so we'll drive into Cranbrook to drop it off and get Vic his first taste of BC roadways.

Since bombing into Cranbrook actually takes around half an hour, you don't go into town and not get stuff done and we're no different.

Groceries were grabbed yesterday, but like everyone else we tend to forget things everytime, so we need to pick up some steaks for later in the week. We also need to grab some goodies for tonight too.

See, after only a week in town, we've already got friends!

Actually, Sarah has a friend and he and his girlfriend have invited us to dinner at their house. We're making sushi!

They've lived here for a couple years and Sarah has literally know him her whole life, so we'll be picking up a couple bottles of Sake and Pinot Grigio to bring with us and who knows what happens from there...

One thing is for certain: there'll be no streaking since Kimberley is small enough for everyone to know everyone else...

Regardless of how the night ends up, I'm looking forward to our nice, busy Saturday.

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