There have been a number of occasions over the two-year run of iBlog where I have slagged Hollywood for their general lack of creativity when it comes to television and films.
From everything to horrible reality shows featuring Jackson siblings you don't care about (and may never have heard of before... I'm talking to you Jackie!) or talk show hosts becoming judges on singing competitions (even So You Think You Can Dance would make more sense), everything to this point has just been about my elitist view that Hollywood simply doesn't have the right creative people around to cook up fresh, new ideas any more.
Yes, part of it is that I wish I could write movies or television shows or whatever because the stuff they are making is crap. There... I said it... happy?
Anyway, when it comes to the film industry, website /film.com has come through with my evidence!
We're a solid nine-and-a-half years into the decade. D'you know how many of the Top 50 grossing movies of this millennium are original works?
Nine.
Nine, as in, "I can count them all on my hands!"
They are: Finding Nemo, Kung-Fu Panda, The Incredibles, Hancock, Ratatouille, The Day After Tomorrow, Madagascar, Monster Inc. and WALL-E.
How Hancock made that list absolutely astonishes me; I guess some people really love Will Smith.
Anyway, the remaining 41 films are all based on previous material of some kind. There are adaptations of television shows (The Simpsons Movie), books (LOTR Trilogy), comics (Spiderman, Iron Man, etc.) and sequels, which could maybe get a pass in my books, but still.
Even with the sequels to films like Shrek and Ice Age off the list, we're still talking about more than 75% of the films on the list being spun from the original ideas of someone else.
What is even more alarming than the number of knock-offs and new interpretations hitting the list is the alarming lack of quality original material for actual living, breathing actors.
Apparently, only animation studios can come up with their own ideas that are unique and entertaining for people, as all but two of the aforementioned nine films are animated features.
Perhaps I am being too picky; some of these sequels and retreads have actually been pretty good, but if we're being honest and I had a choice between a new spin on the telling of a familiar tale and sitting down to watch an well-crafted original work like The Usual Suspects or Seven, I'm taking the originals every time.
Tell me what you think: is creativity on hiatus in Hollywood or have we simply gotten to a point where people want remake, refried, retread entertainment more than having to think about something new?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Originality is Dead: I Have Proof!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Congratulations - You're Forever Izzie!
Being on a popular and successful television show is one of the aims of every working actor out there. Nobody wants to be that person who always has a new pilot in the works and might be getting a deal on ABC for a mid-season replacement show.
Of course, there is a downside too.
Why don't you give Jason Alexander a call about it? Maybe the entire cast of Friends could tell you a thing or two?
And now, you can add Katherine Heigl to that list.
From now until the end of time, every appearance of Katherine Heigl in a major motion picture will be the equivalent of Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens playing the role of the smart, blonde female lead.
Case in point, The Ugly Truth.
For the record, avoid it like the plague. Bad doesn't seem like a strong enough word.
Anyway, despite only watching Heigl and Gerard Butler go back and forth on film two nights ago, I can't tell you the name of Heigl's character.
Why? Because regardless of whatever her name was, she was Izzie, playing the part of a character in a very mediocre movie.
Now, this has happened to countless people in the past, including the poor souls mentioned off the top. I mean, Matt LeBlanc has officially fallen off the face of the Earth because he will forever be Joey Tribiani, and nothing he does will ever change that.
For Heigl, it's going to take a dramatic departure from every role she's ever played for people to not see Izzie Stevens starring in another craptacular romantic comedy coming soon to a theatre near you.
I say blood-thirsty serial killer with short dark hair and all goth'ed up on Criminal Minds...
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Creativity is Dead (Yes, I'm Going There Again!)
I meant to address this a long time ago, but WTF is Ellen Degeneres doing as a judge on American Idol? I was under the impression it was a singing competition and therefore having individuals with experience and knowledge of the music industry would be beneficial.
The answer to my perplexed question is that Ellen is a ratings boost and that is really all that matters to Fox and the Idol team. Who cares that she will have no actual technical insights to offer, thereby perfectly filling the vacated shoes of Paula Abdul.
In the bigger picture of things, this is another indication that creativity is currently taking a dirt nap.
The initial incarnation of Idol was outstanding because it was new and fresh. As we roll towards season ten, the only thing new and fresh about the show is Degeneres, who will most likely just be the host of the Ellen Show sitting in a chair on Idol. I look forward to Simon wondering what is wrong with her when she gets up mid-song to begin dancing through the crowd.
Minor Idol reboots aren't the only indication of creativity being on hiatus in Hollywood. In addition to the multitude of mindless reality shows that are flooding the airwaves - if you have more the six kids, TLC will give you a show - to the rash of vampire / occult-ish inventions popping up everywhere, originality is no longer a prerequisite for programming.
The ironic thing about all this is that the level of talent trending towards the small screen is greater than ever; more and more accomplished and credible actors are ready to make the move to television thanks to stalled box office numbers and shrunken salaries, but the vehicles they're offered are CSI: Atlanta and NCIS: Los Angeles.
But it's not as if movie execs are helping the situation any either, with further installments of already dead franchises - they're making another National Lampoon's Vacation movie - and the always popular "reboot" like the one being offered up to Predator, the majority of the material is either formulaic or forgettable.
Nothing like another romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock and / or Ryan Reynolds to drive people into the theatres...
With few appealing options out there, people are going to have to start reading for pleasure again.
D'you hear that Hollywood?
You're making people read!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
King of the Marginally Talented
Yeah, I'm shocked at how many opportunities you've gotten over the years too, Nick Cannon.
Honestly, you might be the most successful marginally-talented entertainer around these days.
Despite a number of kicks at the can, Nick Cannon has never ascended beyond mid-card status in Hollywood, yet somehow, he keeps getting opportunities.
People thought he was destined for stardom after a successful run on The Nick Cannon Show and his debut film Drumline, but since then, exactly what has he done?
Besides marry Mariah Carey, the answer is not all that much.
Wild N' Out is funny and part of my current "there ain't nothing else on so I might as well watch this" rotation, but we're talking about reruns from a discontinued show.
Movie roles have been either ensemble work (see Bobby) or horrible leading roles (see The Underclassman), while his music career saw he second album get permanently shelves after two singles had little to no success.
And now he's hosting America's Got Talent.
While the show is a summer success for NBC, it has little do with Cannon's efforts and more to do with people and their ridiculous fascination with watching talent shows judged by marginal celebrities.
Mr. Mariah Carey is creeping up on 30, and despite his youthful looks is no longer eligible for teen comedies with musical interludes; those roles are reserved for Zac Effron and his High School Musical associates, leaving Cannon with few options.
My prediction?
Drumline 2: Encore.
Laugh all you want, but you know Cannon's at home right now writing that script.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Movie Night: Angels & Demons
With a handful of nights apart on the horizon, the wife and I are off to the movies for Date Night tonight with Angels & Demons on the marquee.
Partially inspired by watching The Da Vinci Code on History TV last weekend and partially inspired by it being the movie showing at the tiny theatre that we now love here in Kimberley, we've both read the book and want to see how it translates to the big screen.
Hopefully, it comes off better than Da Vinci.
While I'm well aware of the old adage that "the book is always better than the movie," the first film adaptation of a Dan Brown novel stumbled on the screen to me and not just because I had issue with Tom Hanks' hair.
Paul Bettany, an actor I really like, as Silas the Albino assassin just didn't work for me. I mean, this the guy who played a down-on-his-luck tennis player in Wimbledon and the eloquent Geoffrey Chaucer in A Knight's Tale, neither of which inspired fear of any kind.
And apparently if the film calls for a French cop, Jean Reno has a clause in his contract that universally makes the job his. While I could use that kind of clause in a writing contract in the future, selecting Leon The Professional for the role of Bezu Fache just seemed too easy.
Now, there is the distinct possibility that Ewan McGregor and Stellan Skarsgard could fall into the same fate as the aforementioned Da Vinci duo, but I won't know that until tomorrow.
What I do know is that I enjoyed the paperback version of Angels & Demons more than I liked The Da Vinci Code, so that is a strong starting point.
Other than that, we'll just have to wait and see.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Well, It's Finally Happened...
Billy Bob Thornton has officially gone totally fucking crazy and not in the drooling and babbling way. He's on the whole "serial killer with cold, calculated answers and cryptic stares" type shit that scares the bejesus out of me.
Mr. Slingblade was on the CBC show Q with Jian Ghomeshi and turned in a truly creepy performance. The appearance was to promote his band Boxmasters and apparently, BBT instructed the show's producers not to talk about his "other career," you know, the whole acting-directing-writing thing that made him famous in the first place.
So, Ghomeshi barely touches on it in the introduction, because really, "who the fuck are The Boxmasters and why would I care if I didn't know it's Bad Santa's band?" and Thornton proceeds to answer questions like a complete moron.
Eventually, they discuss his frustrations but it doesn't solve much of anything really. He leaves his bandmates to play an acoustic set for the show and the looks on their faces is priceless. You know they have to be weighing the benefits of having this jackass in the band every day.
"Well, we get some press and opportunities because we play with Billy Bob, but the guy is a total douchebag. What do we do?"
Here's what you do: find a new drummer and let The Astronaut Farmer go back to making shitty movies and getting divorced every two years.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Rundown: Actors I Hate More Than Nicolas Cage
I've actually had conversations about how much I hate Nicolas Cage.
Seriously. It was a fairly regular conversation in the Blockbuster days and seems to be somewhat universal across the male demographic, provided they have some taste in movies.
See, for every good movie Elvis' former son-in-law has done (Raising Arizona) there are two horrible movies (Ghost Rider, Bangkok Dangerous) where you think about carving your own eyes out so you don't have to see any more awful Cage acting.
What is all the more remarkable, at least to me, is that Cage doesn't even top my list of actors that I downright loathe. I present those people to you today...
Top 5 Actors I Hate More Than Nicolas Cage
5. Christian Slater
Kind of follows in the same lines as Cage, in that there have been good turns (True Romance) but more often than not, there have been bombs like Broken Arrow and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
4. Kevin Costner
Speaking of Robin of Locksley... man this guy drives me insane! Honestly, I can't remember the last movie of Costner's that I actually enjoyed. Everything for the last ten years has been crap. I can't believe this is the same guy who played Crash Davis in Bull Durham. Swing Vote? Are you kidding me?
3. Ryan Phillippe
ARGH! Not only is he a douche bag for cheating on Reese Witherspoon, but for all the people who bag on Keanu Reeves for being all monotone and shit, I present this chucklehead. He wants so desperately to be a big-time serious actor that he hasn't figured out he's nothing more than talking eye candy. Him trying to be all gripping and raw nearly ruined Stop-Loss for me. Thankfully, Joseph Gordon Levitt made it all better.
2. Paul Walker
I loved seeing his mug on the cover of Bobby Z, the direct-to-DVD gangster flick that served as his last starring role because it gave me hope that he was going the Val Kilmer route and falling off the face of the mainstream Earth. Then comes this summer's Fast & Furious, the ingeniously titled next entry in the The Fast & The Furious line. Dammit!
1. Julianne Moore
What? You thought I was going all guys? If you've been following iBlog over it's entire existence, you know how I feel about Ms. Moore. If you haven't, allow me to get you up to speed: She is the same character over and over and over again and forever ruined the character of Clarice Starling from Silence of the Lambs with her awful turn in Hannibal. Watching Next is like torture to me... Cage & Moore, together... yikes!
By the way, this wasn't a completely randomly generated idea... these guys got me thinking about it...
Monday, January 19, 2009
R.I.P. Sundance Film Festival
I'm a movie guy, as many of you should already know and I remember when the Sundance Film Festival was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
First, it's named after The Sundance Kid and put on by the man himself, which made it unassailably cool.
Second, this was where little movies became big movies and guys like me who have always liked things a little left of center could find a less-hyped, non-blockbuster to hitch my wagon to and fall in love with. Some of the greats over the years from Sundance include Clerks, El Mariachi, Little Miss Sunshine and Thank You for Smoking.
Lastly, Sundance was where Hollywood went to not be Hollywood; it was a getaway from the glitz and the glamor and seemed, in the early days, to truly be about the movies and the filmmakers and getting the little guy a piece of the bigger pie.
Not anymore.
Now, Sundance isn't even a place C-List celebrities hit during the winter chill of January. When Hulk Hogan's ex-wife Linda is garnering throngs of attention, you know that your time has come and gone.
Seriously, this used to be a required stop for any up-and-coming actor-slash-director-slash-writer and numerous actual celebrities flocked to Park City to spend some time in the snow, but now, you're left with Kevin Federline's ex-girlfriend trolling through the free swag, a tramp who used to be in a band you probably never heard of in the first place (Aubrey O'Day of Danity Kane) and a flock of nobodies from the realm of Reality TV.
You know you've passed your expiry date when people are raving about Mariah Carey's performance in a movie. She very well could be great, but really, it's Mariah Carey and you're judging her against Glitter. It's not as if she's suddenly morphed into Meryl fucking Streep or anything...
Sadly, my new measuring stick for things being officially over comes from one of my former favorite shows, Entourage, which has also ran it's course and remains on television solely to inspire douchebags to slum around Hollywood mooching off their one rich friend.
Even though Entourage made their trek to Sundance during the outstanding first season, it's like the Sports Illustrated / Madden Cover curse; once they use you, consider yourself officially done.
Such is the case with the Sundance Film Festival, the new playground for has-beens and never-weres.
Rest in Peace...
Saturday, January 17, 2009
How Did This Take So Long?
Pretty soon, the good people who bring you The Love of Sports will be launching another site, The Love of Movies and I'll certainly be doing some contributing.
Thinking about the movies that came out recently and are coming out soon enough led me to thinking about The Wrestler, Darren Aronofsky's latest flick that won two Golden Globes and might earn Mickey Rourke an Academy Award.
How did no one ever think of making an actual dramatic film centered around the world of professional wrestling before?
There have been documentaries (Beyond the Mat is pretty solid) and comedies (Ready to Rumble was a TBS staple) but never anything that actually looked at the difficulty and struggle that being a professional wrestler undoubtedly places on a person.
Now I haven't seen the film myself and living in BF, Idaho means that there is a good chance I won't see it until it makes it's way to the shelf at Black Bear (my movie joint out here), but when Hollywood is rolling out biopic after biopic of every dead musician they can and bringing us mindless crap like Bride Wars, seeing something with wholly original that is extremely well done (from all accounts) is refreshing.
I won't get a chance to see The Wrestler for six months, but I'll have ample opportunity to see Dance Flick when it comes out...
Sometimes, I hate living here.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Dishonour Roll: Jimmy Fallon
This one has been a long time coming.
I can't remember ever liking Jimmy Fallon. Not ever. He's just not funny to me.
He wasn't funny for the years that he couldn't make it through a skit on SNL without cracking up and the only thing funny about his movie career is how horrible movies like Taxi actually were. Not to mention that he absolutely bastardized Nick Hornby's outstanding Fever Pitch by making it about the Boston Goddamn Red Sox!
But none of that ever landed him on The Dishonour Roll because I could simply choose to ignore the moron and live my life as if he never existed.
Then I heard a piece of news today that made me want to kill the bastard.
Next year, Fallon takes over for Conan O'Brien when the Ginger takes over for Leno. Still with me?
Now Fallon getting his own late night gig is old news, so that isn't the cause of the displeasure either.
Reports that The Roots have stopped touring to become JIMMY FALLON'S HOUSE BAND is another story.
This fucker is going to rip The Legendary Roots Crew away from the world so ?uestlove can serve as his own Max Weinberg? The greatest hip hop band on the face of Planet Earth is going to play side stage to Jimmy Fucking Fallon?
Mayhaps I should be directing my anger towards The Roots, but let's be honest, if you threw enough money at me, I would do just about anything, so I can't totally blame them.
What lands Fallon on the list is that you know NBC is giving him their full support which means even if (when) he sucks balls, he's still going to be around because someone has to have the late night slot after Leno.
In turn, that means that if these reports are right, The Roots will be tied up being Jimmy Fallon's House Band for the foreseeable future, instead of touring the countryside delivering bad-ass shows to legions of fans.
So not only will the number of retards on late night TV increase, but I'll also lose one of my favourite bands of all-time?
I hate you Jimmy Fallon.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The Rundown: I Love Arguing
Watching TV the other night, I realized that I've become that guy who yells at the TV, as if the people talking through the picture tube can hear me or would even care what I was saying if they could.
Monday night it was the UFC 91 Preview Show that got me going. The sixty minute show served as a 45 minute build up of Randy Couture with 15 minutes given to Brock Lesnar and since I've on Team Lesnar Saturday night, I tried to argue with the pre-taped show that was on my screen.
After I laughed at myself, I got to thinking: I really do like to argue. As Newt said in a comment last week, one of the things he remembers from one of the two times we've hung out was getting into a "discussion" about the merits of a certain Seattle Grunge band I dislike.
Hung out with him twice, he remembers an argument. Sounds about right for me.
And so the topic for today's Rundown was born...
Five Favourite Arguments
5. Nirvana Was Overrated
This is the one Newt remembers and one that I also mentioned again on the Foo Fighters Soundtrack piece Friday. To be honest, I just don't get it. It's not like they were the only band coming out of that area at the time and for my money, Pearl Jam was better from Day One, not to mention the whole longevity issue... To me, Nirvana was that band that the media held up as Grunge because Kurt Cobain was always in the spotlight, dating Courtney Love, marrying Courtney Love, OD'ing in Rome, etc. etc. etc.
4. Greatest Movies Ever
We can do it by genre, we can do it by era, we can do it by actors, whatever. I love this argument because I'm also a bit of an asshole and am willing to be the guy who says things like, "No way! Summer Catch is easily the Greatest Sports Movie Ever!" Note: it's important to remember in this argument that your favourite movie and greatest movie ever are two totally different things, unless your favourite movie is Godfather Part II.
3. Pick A Sport...
I'll argue with you about it. Even if it's soccer. Whatever you want to fight about in the world of sports, I'm game. It doesn't hurt that I really am a walking encyclopedia of random sports knowledge and trivia. I'm like a thinner, less ESPN-employed version of The Schwab.
2. Those Taboo Issues
Religion. Politics. Race. Sexuality. You name it, I'm up for it because I think that we live in a time when we shouldn't be afraid to talk intelligently about these issues and no matter what position you take on any of them, you can always learn something from another person's views. We may not agree, but I guarantee we'll each walk away having learned something and that is the important part.
1. Anything to do with the Toronto Maple Leafs
Leafs fans are awesome to me; so loyal, so faithful, so intense and so passionate about such a crappy team. Every year is the year and no matter how much evidence you have to prove Mats Sundin isn't one of the Top 25 players in the NHL, they don't want to hear it. It doesn't hurt that I'm a Red Wings fan either...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Will It Ever End?
How many spoof movies have to come out and fail miserably before the people in Hollywood realize that nearly ten years have passed since Scary Movie was funny and novel and a really well executed idea?
I ask this because the Wayans Brothers - Shawn and Marlon, not the actually funny ones like Damon and Keenen - will bring Dance Flick to theatres sometime soon, lampooning films like Save the Last Dance, Step Up and You Got Served.
For the record, my dislike of this idea has nothing to do with the fact that I own several dance infused films and everything to do with the fact that Scary Movie 2 through 96, Date Movie, The Comebacks, Superhero Movie and the rest of the useless spoof garbage that takes up space on shelves at Blockbuster absolutely suck.
Adding to my early morning frustration with the fine folks of Hollywood is a report that a Karate Kid remake is in the works too... starring Will Smith's son Christopher.
1) There will never be another Daniel LaRusso
2) There will never be another Johnny Lawrence
3) Mr. Miyagi died some time ago, so the whole "wax on, wax off" thing is out the window too.
Basically, my ultimate question of the day is this: How damn hard is it to come up with an original idea in Hollywood these days?
I know movies have been around since Christ was a cowboy but you can't tell me there aren't smart people out there penning quality scripts or adapting entertaining books.
Why must we suffer through remakes and rehashing over and over and over again?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
10 Things I Learned This Week
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Rundown: O-VER-RATED
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Proof People in Hollywood are Retarded
It's been reported that Disney has agreed to pay Johnny Depp upwards of $60M to reprise his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in a fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.
Um, why?
At The End of the World didn't leave any lingering questions or unfinished business after three very long hours and both Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley aren't expected to have any part in the film.
So basically, Disney is going to through more money than any studio has ever thrown at one actor to bring back a character that they'll have to create something brand new for and go from there.
I could see it if it was just a regular movie, but this is the Pirates franchise we're talking about - and Disney for that matter - so you know there are going to be FX out the wazzu on this one and a budget somewhere, I'm guessing here, in the $200M range.
Yes this has been an absolute cash cow of a franchise, but you have to expect that people are going to tire of the same old routine at some point and start looking for something more than pirates.
Like ninjas. Everybody loves ninjas. Make a ninja movie. That I'd go see.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
10 Things I Learned This Week
1. It's Always Nice to Come Home
Going on vacation is great, but there is something pleasurable about getting back to your own surroundings and sleeping in your own bed. Maybe it's because I've had the same pillow since I was 7... or maybe it's because Sarah and I aren't sleeping in single beds pushed together anymore. Either way, it was real nice to walk through the doors here Monday and crash out for the afternoon in the comfort of our own house.
2. The Dog Owns Us
Before Monday, we hadn't seen the little pug dog in three weeks. Halfway through the last week in Vancouver, we both longed to be home and wrestling with him. Once we got here, we immediately went out and bought him a new toy, as a present for being so good and to apologize for being away for so long. One of us has been with him for nearly the entire time we've been home. He gets our undivided attention. We're totally his bitches.
3. Speaking of Luke...
The inspiration for his name passed away Friday, as Paul Newman - Cool Hand Luke himself - lost his battle to cancer. I wrote about it yesterday, so I won't dwell on it too much here, other than to say again that we lost a legend and he will be greatly missed.
4. Fantasy Phenom
So I had five fantasy baseball teams this year. None will finish worse than fourth, with two battling for titles today. Of my four fantasy football teams, three are undefeated in first place and the other sits in third at 2-1. I'm drafting my first fantasy hockey team today and basketball season is just around the corner too. I know it might make me a super geek to love fantasy sports as much as I do, but I don't care. I'm damn good at it!
5. Next Stop: Kimberley, British Columbia
We've been officially going for a week or so, but now we know for sure where we'll be staying... on the ski hill in a bad ass condo with a fireplace in the living room, slate floors, stainless steel kitchen and a four-man hot tub on our balcony. Sarah will have to commute 30 minutes or so to work - a great cause for alarm to some, but not us - and I will have a 1 km walk to...
6. Kelsey's Here I Come
My new bartender/server gig at Kelsey's Restaurant at Kimberley Alpine Resort. Yes, I'm moving 3,000+ km to do exactly what I do here in London. But here I don't get free golf, free skiing, free lessons and deals on rentals. Or live nestled up next to the Rockies in a quiet little town where I have a hot tub on my balcony. I can't wait...
7. Ryan Reynolds is My Hero!
Always loved his work, now I love him as a person. Why? Because he is Mr. Scarlett Johansson! Homey traded up from Alanis Morissette to one of the Top 5 Sexiest Women on the Face of the Earth... nicely done sir and congratulations to you both.
8. Sometimes, You Don't Have to Make a Biopic
Saw the first trailer for the Notorious BIG biopic that's coming out in January. Gotta say, I'm not a fan. These are legends and icon in the business and the communities they came up in and someone thought it was necessary to make a glitzy refresher course on their lives with a bunch of dudes that don't even really look like them? How is Papa Doc from 8 Mile supposed to be Tupac to me? And Boobie Miles from Friday Night Lights as Diddy. Leave it alone Hollywood...
9. Anne Hathaway Loves Bum Sex!
She says so herself in an interview in the next edition of Esquire. Now this has nothing to do with anything important or useful in the world, but honestly, when a major Hollywood starlet goes on the record about thoroughly enjoying a trip down Avenue B, I feel the need to share that information with the masses. And by masses I mean the 37 of you who read this site faithfully. I love you all.
10. Time to Go Watch Football. Oh Wait...
I can't! Garry is gone for the weekend and while I don't need his presence or permission to catch the NFL, I do need the television receiver that he took with him to Midland this weekend! ARGH! Finally a Sunday where I am not in transit from Ottawa (Week One), picking up Sarah's mom at the airport (Week Two) or enjoying afternoon tea with a monster hangover (Week Three) and I get to stare at the ticker on NFL.com for the afternoon. Booo-urns!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Shameless Promotion... and Some Random Thoughts Too
You'll notice over on the right, where we keep The Movie List and The Blog Cellar, that there is a new addition to the posse.
It's a widget for The Love of Sports.
I do some work there.
Actually, I do a lot of work there.
Almost as much as I do anywhere else these days.
That's because these guys are straight knockout artists when it comes to writing intelligent and interesting pieces about sports - all sports - much like the way the B&C Family holds things down on the baseball ends of things on the daily.
I got hooked up at TLOS a couple months back and after getting my feet wet - and dropping off the Epic Carnival Sideshow Tour - I have started doing some regular pieces there, including getting a lot of my MMA addiction out of the way by previewing every PPV, profiling fighters and delivering my own personal Pound for Pound rankings. Those are coming soon...
I wanted to bring some attention to the site because, well, everyone needs traffic and if you like sports and stories about sports presented in a fairly unbiased nature and in great variety, drop by and check us out.
* * * * * * * * * *
'Member a few weeks back when I had Lil Wayne in the Soundtrack and said it was because down the road he was going to be viewed as a pioneer when it comes to digital artists and blending genres?
Seems Weezy is just doing it all these days, as he's now blogging for ESPN The Magazine.
Would you have guessed that the man who reps N'awlins more than anybody would be a Packers fan?
Me neither.
* * * * * * * * * *
Afternoon schmaltz movies are becoming a daily routine around here...
Crashed out and watched Saved the Last Dance today.
Somehow I forgot about it yesterday; definitely part of the Top 5, maybe at the expense of Benny & Joon.
P.S. What the hell happened to Julia Stiles? Where did she go? I miss her. I loved her.
* * * * * * * * * *
Went back to work for the first time in three weeks yesterday... and was sent home before I even started.
Not because I did something wrong; it was just that dead. Probably going to happen tonight too, which is fine, because the season premiere of Grey's is on tonight and I'll be pissed if I miss it.
Yeah, I watch Grey's. You got a problem with that?
* * * * * * * * * *
Speaking of work, it was really cool to get such a great response from everyone at The Cookhouse about our venturing out to BC.
Even though I've only been there for a short time, they're a great group of people and I will miss fucking the dog and avoiding work along side of them.
It's also funny that all of them to a man loathe working there and living in London.
It really isn't that hard to just up and leave people...
We're all still relatively young. Life is too short to sit around hating your job and wanting more. Go out and get more and enjoy life to the fullest.
* * * * * * * * * *
Oh yeah - I fell off the smoke wagon again.
Went the first eight days out west without a single one... ninth day, Sarah's mom came home.
Been smoking ever since.
Time to go have one now...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Rundown: Crappy Movies We Love
First, sorry about being gone since Friday. The last couple days in Vancouver were jammed with activities and I've pretty much been sleeping and planning our move since getting back. And spending time with the dog. It's insane how much I missed the sock-eating little bastard.
Second, instead of continuing to plan our move to Cranbrook this afternoon, Sarah, Luke and I crashed out on the floor of the basement and watched Kate & Leopold. We were flipping when we sat down for lunch and as soon as Sarah saw the title screen her eyes lit up and a smiling face turned to me and said, ever so sweetly, "Can we watch it?"
How could I say know? Besides, why would I want to? While it's no Oscar winner, it's also a lot better than, say Citizen Kane and that long-winded piece of black and white boredom cleaned up back in 18-ought-4 when it came out.
What I'm saying is that we all have these movies, horribly predictable, cheesy, sappy, smaltzy wonders that no matter how many times we've seen them or how bad our friends tell us they are, we still go back to them.
Kate & Leopold fits the bill for Sarah. The five films that follow are mine.
The Kate & Leopold List: My Favourite Crappy Movies
5. Someone Like You
Kate & Leopold is Sarah's Hugh Jackman movie and this one is mine. There are two main reasons I like this flick: 1) Ashley Judd stars and she parades around in her underwear for a couple scenes and (2) Hugh Jackman's classic line explaining his hickey - "I bit myself shaving." I've used it many times myself. There is nothing cerebral about this flick and you know from the jump how things are going to end up, but still, you can't pull away. At least I can't.
4. Benny & Joon
This one isn't actually a crappy movie; it's really quite good and a lot of people I know thoroughly enjoy it. They're the ones with good taste. I am too.
3. 10 Things I Hate About You
Ah Shakespeare set to teenage high school melodrama, how I love thee... Bonus points to this flick for having a killer soundtrack including "I Want You To Want Me" and "Cruel to be Kind."
2. Love, Actually
Hugh Grant is the Prime Minister of England. Bill Nighy is a washed up old rock star without a censor. Colin Frissell is off to search for women... in Milwaukee! What's not to love about this flick? Of course, there is also the gorgeous Keira Knightley and that guy who holds up cue cards for her at the door telling her how she is perfect to him and the bad guy from Die Hard getting hit on by his naughty secretary. I honestly watch this movie once every three months, minimum.
1. Two Weeks Notice
Yeah, so I have a soft spot for Hugh Grant. It's probably because he doesn't actually play characters so much as he plays a version of himself in every film he does. And Sandra Bullock is just the perfect cute-but-not-too-good-looking foil for any romantic comedy. That's why Miss Congeniality worked so well. The Lake House, not so much, but that's for another day. If you haven't seen this and need a fun night in, go get it. As always, you can thank me later.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Complete and Utter Randomness
Nothing meaningful on my mind today, so why not delve through the debris that currently clutters my melon?
* * * * * * * * * *
I saw a preview for a new movie called the other day.
The movie's tagline is "In a world gone blind, what if you were the only person who could see?"
Answer: Score for me, but still a little creepy.
While I could do whatever I wanted - both legally and illegally - it would be more than a little strange to be the only person who could see the sunset or what other people looked like.
Clearly, the film is set up to be a psychological thriller and they aren't expecting people to think being the sole sight-seeing survivor on Earth is an awesome stroke of luck, but you have to admit that the pros outweigh the cons.
Sure no one else can see, but you can, so what's the big deal?
* * * * * * * * * *
I saw some douchebag driving down the street today in an Orange Lexus.
Why would someone do that to a Lexus? I say "do that" because it's quite obvious that Lexus wouldn't have created a luxury orange on wheels themselves and this guy clearly painted the car himself - perhaps even with spray paint - in order to display his utter disdain for quality vehicles.
Making it even better were the orange dual exhausts and gold decals.
Seriously - what's with some people?
* * * * * * * * * *
Speaking of retarded, there is a lady in our neighbourhood who walks her cat on a leash.
Again I ask you - what is with some people?
Cats aren't leash-walking animals.
If they are allowed out, they go out on their own to roam free and return home whenever they please. And if they aren't to go outside, then keep them inside. Don't degrade your poor pet by making it look stupid in some harness as you try to drag it down the street, angry that it isn't obeying your every command.
You take dogs for a walk. Leashes are made for dogs. Not cats. Or ferrets, rats or children.
* * * * * * * * * *
In having watched one and a half seasons of The Wire in the last week, I really don't understand how more people didn't pay attention to this show. It really is awesome.
Unlike Network Television dramas that recycle plots over and over after about a year of being on the air - Tonight on Grey's Anatomy: an Emergency at Seattle Grace and Relationship Drama between two or more characters! - every year of The Wire focuses on a different area of Baltimore, complete with new characters and plot lines.
Sure they carry over characters from season to season and keep things running that way, but each episode is 100% fresh without feeling forced. So while Season Two still has subplots involving Season One's antagonist Avon Barksdale and his drug crew, as well as my personal favourites Omar and Bubs the Heroin-fiend Informant, there is also the new main plot surrounding The Docks to build a whole new set of circumstances around.
All I know is that I can't wait to finish Season Two so I can justify dropping another $60 on Seasons Three and Four.
* * * * * * * * * *
Luke hates our Cleaning Lady.
By "our" I mean Garry's and by "hates" I mean completely and utterly detests. It's to the point that we leave the house with him before she shows up and try to to stay away for the duration of her time in the house.
This wouldn't be such a task if it didn't take her four hours to get everything done.
There are only so many laps of the path at the dog park one can do before both dog and owner get bored.
* * * * * * * * * *
Don't ask me why, but I just love the picture for this post. I can't explain it, it's just cool to me.
* * * * * * * * * *
Let's call it a day for now... check back later in case I stop having mental diarrhea and write something meaningful!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
When Writer's Block Attacks
Now some people will tell you that Writer's Block doesn't really exist; that the writer who feels "blocked" simply isn't coming up with anything and needs to just stay at it.
I want to kick those people in the nuts, provided they have some, because for the last three weeks I've been sitting here twiddling my thumbs trying to come up with a premise for my short screenplay and all I got is better at Chess Titans.
While I haven't reached the stage of "All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy" or anything like that as of yet - something I attribute to not residing in a creepy hotel created in the brilliant mind of Stephen King with my horribly ugly wife - I'm having thoughts about going the Hamlet 2 route.
Hollywood does it all the time - sometimes without any continuity at all - so why can't I? Pick some flick or storyline that everyone is familiar with and just start fresh from where the last guy left off. Mix in a failed actor and you have the actual premise for Hamlet 2. No wonder it's getting crushed by critics. Then again, David Arquette is in it, so how good could it be?
Since I've still sans television - which means sans UFC tonight... ARGH! - and will be sans Sarah for the next two evenings as well, the plan is to put my ass in this chair and my fingers to these keys.
If all goes well, 10 Things tomorrow will include a progress report.
Otherwise, I'll tell you how good I'm getting at Chess Titans.
Posts
