2 AM and I'm Wide Awake

If we're being 100% accurate, it's 2:05.

I've been sitting here at this computer for the better part of the last hour and a half, after having laid in bed for an hour without so much as closing my eyes.

I watched a webisode of MMA Live @ ESPN.com, played a little simulated Blue Jays Baseball and checked the usuals about three times each before deciding that an early morning iBlog post was in order.

Life has me awake at 2 AM on a Monday morning, one where I will be up at 5:30 with Sarah and out the door an hour later with Luke in tow.

Right now, all I can do with my life is sit and wait. Those of you who frequent the site know all about my inability to grasp the virtue of patience.

I'm dying to see the Bugs & Cranks stats for June, knowing that my SI linkage for The Thieving Bastards along with some solid numbers from various other pieces has me in a good position to make some coin for the first time in a long time. But those numbers are still a couple days away.

Those two jobs I mentioned in 10 Things are running through my head, as each is an opportunity to make something more of the situation I am currently in. Unfortunately, I can't force people to return my emails or let me know where I stand in the hiring process.

Ideas and stories and projects rattle around in my brain until they reach the "How do I get it out there?" stage where the answer is always "I don't know."

My eyes are wide open and my mind is racing.

Today is going to be a long day...

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I Know Which Dwarf I Am...

Grumpy.

I'm at that point where I'm just tired of everything.

I'm tired of being a moron who wastes a great night out all dressed up with his girlfriend getting shitcanned and announcing to a room full of strangers that, "I'm Spencer and I'm awesome because I have a mohawk!"

I'm sick of busting my ass at Blockbuster effing Video for the last nine months to find out that that transfer they assured me would happen whenever I wanted to move back to Ontario isn't as assured as originally advertised.

I'm pissed that I've spent countless months talking about all the ideas I have for a book and a movie and writing and haven't done shit about it. Not one single word.

I'm grumpy as fuck and d'you know what?

It's about goddamn time too!

Reaching the point of total and utter frustration moves you in one of two ways:

1. Prolonged periods of laying on the couch in the fetal position watching old movies and crying
2. Sitting at this computer every spare minute I have either trying to find a better job that shilling movies or writing the book / movie that will make me never have to shill another movie ever again.
   

I'm not much for the fetal position, so starting NOW, the search is on for a different job and the writing starts first thing tomorrow morning.

Schedules. Routine. Habit. Timelines. That is the only way these ideas that have been bouncing around inside my head for the better part of the last year are ever going to become whatever they are meant to become. I just need to sit down and do it.

No more Baseball Mogul 2008.

No more three hour cycles of The Score.

No more laying around watching old movies.

Writing, writing and more writing.

P.S. You don't want to mess with Grumpy... consider yourself warned.

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