Long Overdue Update

Well, I've moved again...

No, we're still in Victoria, but my MMA writing talents have jumped ship one last time.

MMA Madness is now my home, and we're set to do some big things. I know everyone says that, and I've said it before about every site I've worked with, but this time it actually is different and will come true.

A collection of colleagues I respect and admire have banded together to form a great writing team, and they've brought me along for the ride. Yes, I'm being humble for once. These guys are all far more experienced than me and I've learned a great deal in two weeks.

In addition to continuing some of my favorite columns that I have brought with me on each stop of this MMA writing odyssey of mine (Punch Drunk Predictions, 10 things we learned last night), I'm going to get a chance to showcase the fighters, promotions and emerging talents from my home and native land.

Canada is loaded with up-and-comers and great promotions that haven't gotten the attention they deserve, and I intend to be the one who helps shine a little light on things up here in the Great White North, starting with TFC 10: High Octane two weeks from now in Edmonton.

There are several irons in various fires right now - big things are coming people and they're coming to MMA Madness.

Bookmark it and be back regularly... or else I'll hunt you down and choke you out!

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2010: The Year I Begin to Crush It!

Regardless of everything, you need to read the book pictured above.

My man Josh Nason of Ring, Ropes and Cage has become my personal Yoda when it comes to expanding my knowledge-base and understanding of the world I'm trying to break into, and I have to say that as good as On Writing was, Crush It!, well, crushed it.

This book is going to change my life, and I say that without any asterisks, hyperbole or pretenses.

Basically, this book not only confirmed all the fundamental beliefs I had about my passion for Mixed Martial Arts and the opportunity I have to make a career out of it, but also delivered a blueprint for how to do that.

What makes it even crazier is that a number of the steps and strategies are the little things that I already do, like Facebook the bejesus out of everything I write, and tweeting all my posts...

Gary Vaynerchuk - the author - has instantly launched to the top of my "Awesome People I Know About That You've Never Heard of Before" list, though I recommend you go out and get familiar with him.

D'you know how we all show up at work grumpy that we have to be there? We don't have to, and I'm not going to, thanks to Gary Vaynerchuk, Josh Nason and the dedication and passion I have to make my career something I enjoy, and not just a means to an end.

I give a lot of random advice on this blog, but if you've never listened to anything I've said before, listen to this: read Crush It!

The damn thing is only 130-pages long and cost under $25... and could change your life.

If you don't believe me, keep watching and see for yourself.

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Things I Learned This Week

1. Write for Love, Let the Money Come Later

After spending a good number of months building up a readership at a couple different sites, I put them on the back burner to pursue a job with Heavy.com for the lone reason that they were going to pay me.

Ten weeks later, I was dropped via email... without ever receiving a check. I've been assured it's coming, and take solace in the fact that the continuing staff there have yet to receive their pay either, but it made me realize something.

I write because I love it and that needs to be the motivation. Ironically enough, I finished Stephen King's On Writing last night, and d'you know what the final message of the book was?

"I write because I love it, not because of the money."

2. If You Hear "No Disrespect," Expect an Insult to Follow

I'm as guilty on this one as the next guy, as I use the line, "no disrespect to (insert fighter)" fairly frequently, following it up with some statement about how the inserted fighter isn't up to par or a legitimate contender.

It's as if we think that offering up that precursor gives us the ability to say whatever the hell we want about someone. They no I don't mean it disrespectfully, so saying they look like a total jackass / have the talents of a trained chimpanzee / smell a little south of god-awful is okay...

No it isn't, and I hereby pledge to remove that phrase from my vocabulary.

3. I Love My Non-Paying Jobs

The one that pays me - picking produce orders for 35-40 hours a week at Islands West - isn't all that bad, but the pair that put little no money in my pocket on a regular basis are great.

After the whole Heavy debacle, I joined forces with the guys over at Five Knuckles. They had been syndicating my work from Keyboard Kimura for a while, have a great community and believe in my talents to help propel their site to bigger and better.

What really has me stoked is my role with Armageddon Fighting Championships. While I don't really have a defined title, I'm doing all kinds of different things, like hunting down sponsors, lining up media exposure, and building Fan Pages on Facebook.

Yes - you need to join.

Kind of ties in with the first thought of today - enjoy the work, do a good job and the returns will come in time.

4. Victoria Kicks Everywhere Else's Ass

It's January 17 and I plan on wearing shorts today. Not because I want to see if I can brave the harsh outdoors with my pasty white lower limbs, but because it's around 10 degrees, nice and sunny and there is very little wind.

Additionally, not having to shovel... awesome! Yes, it rains, but d'you know what? Rain at five, six or seven degrees is so superior to snow and ice and bullshit at some god-awful temperature well below freezing.

I've enjoyed everywhere I've lived over the years - 13 cities, 31 addresses in 31 years - but Victoria takes the cake.

5. So I Never Told You My New Year's Resolutions

1. Get a paying / full-time job in MMA: while you might think that contradicts point one of this piece today, it doesn't. I'm not going to actively chase the money, but by the time 2011 rolls around, my hard work will have brought the money to me.
2. Read More - and Keep a Book List: one book done, many, many more to come. Recommendations will come with them - if they're good. If you're at all interested in writing, go get Stephen King's On Writing... and thanks to Josh Nason for instructing me to do so.
3. Continue to Not Smoke: as of today, it's 13 weeks... how crazy is that, right? Hasn't even been that hard to be honest.
4. Be Here More: I've missed you all, and like writing this blog, so 2010 is the return of iBlog to daily status, or as close to daily as I can manage...

Thanks for sticking around... and Happy Sunday!

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But I'm The Blueprint / I'm Like the Map For'em

Back at you for the first time in a little bit - and I promise I'm going to try and be here a lot more regularly moving forward - and time to call out everyone.

Yeah - everyone.

At some point, we're all guilty of not giving credit where credit is due, and it's become something that really grinds my gears like Peter Griffin.

We're all so quick to attack and criticize; calling people out for their decisions and everyday actions, putting just about anything under the microscope of negativity as if we're without flaws and worthy to pass judgment.

Sure, there is some element of that necessary in the world, but with that should come a willingness and acceptance that you have to pay attention to the other side of the coin as well. You can't just be critical and not give credit when it's due...

The title of this piece - another brilliant lyric from Jay-Z and the song "A Star is Born" - sums up my personal connection to this situation incredibly.

As I'm sure I've rambled on about here a couple of times, a bunch of my Mixed Martial Arts writing is syndicated to Bleacher Report. Over the first six or seven months of my existence there, I went from being the new kid on the block to being selected as a Featured Columnist and the top-ranked writer in the MMA Community.

With the success came the usual collection of haters and detractors. It seemed that my dedication and commitment to writing every day was a problem for some. The line was usually something along the lines of, "No wonder he's #1 - the guy writes a million articles a day, and all of them are crap."

Seriously. You gotta love it.

Funny thing is, shortly after questioning my practices, a couple people started to put the pattern I laid out into use for themselves... and have now risen to the top of the charts in my place.

Note: I stopped posting a bazillion pieces a day during my two month dalliance with Heavy.com... but I'm back now, and plan on reclaiming the throne.

D'you think I've gotten any, "Sorry for busting your chops all summer. Now that I'm being as successful as you were, I can see the merit in your methods" type emails or messages?

Of course not.

That would involve giving credit where credit is due, and we can't have that.

It would take away from all the bitching and complaining about everything...

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Time to Hit the Awesome Button Again

Remember how in my last post I told you I was supposed to talk to my new editor and find out my future with Heavy.com this week?

Well, today I found out, in the form of an email.

It was thoroughly not awesome.

Guess who's got two thumbs and is no longer writing at Heavy.com? Yup, this guy.

Budgetary cutbacks are the reason I'm being given, though I know there was a whole lot more to it than that. My temper and emotions got the best of me over the weekend, and well, Sarah's long-time fear that me being a hothead would interfere with my progress in the writing world have been proven 100% valid.

Time to learn from a mistake and move on to bigger and better.

In an all-too-familiar turn of events, I've done a truckload of work and received zero pay. Yep, much like Passion Magazine, I've put forth a great deal of effort for Heavy and am left with lint in my pocket.

They're telling me that the check is in the mail and things will be squared away, but those were the same lines I heard from Passion and we all know how that worked out...

Goddammitthissucks!

Starting over from square one... again.

Stick with me people, because if nothing else, the ride is always a wild one...

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One Step Forward, One Step Sideways, and One Step into the Poor House

Today was supposed to be a momentous day, one filled with positive news, answers to very important questions and unbridled enthusiasm about the future.

In the end, I got positive news, a pat on the back and asked to reschedule the answers to very important questions, and a karmic reminder that unbridled enthusiasm about the future should be discouraged at all times.

The moral of the story: driving a shitbox can take the wind out of your sails in a heartbeat, no matter how excited you might be.

And now, the story - and I'll even start with the happy part.

Who's got two thumbs and works for Armageddon Fighting Championships? This guy!

You can't see it, but I've got my thumbs up and am pointing back at myself, like Rob Van Dam used to do. I miss RVD.

Anyway...

As of a sweet lunch meeting today at Red Robin (Chicken Ranch Club... delicious), I'm the jack-of-all-trades Media and Public Relations guy for the AFC.

Basically, I write things, try to find things, suggest things and am one of three employees of the organization, though technically, I'm a contracted employee. The technicality is there just so that if I ever do anything stupid, Darren and Jason can disavow me without penalty or repercussion, from me or the law.

Still, technicalities aside, I work for an emerging Mixed Martial Arts organization and get to be pretty hands-on from here on out.

That is the one step forward.

The one step sideways came literally ten seconds after I walked in the door from that meeting.

Yesterday was supposed to be my "contract negotiations" with Heavy.com for the new year. I use the quotes because really - and don't tell them this - outside of them offering me less money, I'm staying put, but you know, only after playing some hardball first.

Anyhow, it got bumped yesterday and rescheduled for today.

Long story short, it got rescheduled again for early next week. While some positives came from the brief phone conversation with my new editor - he likes my work, sees the dedication and talent, wants me as part of the core team - I have no idea what kind of money I'll be making, which means tomorrow's joyous resignation from Islands West Produce isn't happening.

For now...

Interestingly enough, my editor calling wasn't who I was expecting on the other end of the phone. I was expecting Canadian Tire.

For my 17 American readers out there, Canadian Tire would be like if your local Mienke had a store attached to it that sold everything from hardware and electronics, to sporting goods, lighting and seasonal items.

True story - our '93 Honda Shitbox was leaking gas. Not really sure for how long, but long enough that today was the day we finally decided to check if it was our car after convincing ourselves for the last couple weeks that it had to be the boat in the driveway, Monica's car or something Derek spilled while filling up his snowmobile.

Turns out, it was the Civic and we really shouldn't have been driving.

Sidenote: good thing I quit smoking. One flicked cigarette blown the wrong way and I wouldn't be here writing this... Smoking can kill in so many ways. God I miss smoking...

The call from Crappy Tire eventually came, along with an estimate for roughly $500, depending on how bad things are.

It's a '93 Civic with decent amounts of rust around the back wheel wells, over 190,000 klicks on the dial, and we've spent a good 50% of what we paid for it fixing things in the year-and-a-half we've owned it.

The chances of "depending on how bad things are" coming back as not too bad at all are slim and none.

Ah, I see you have a vacancy at The Poor House. I'll take a room. Thanks.

Win some, lose some, throw a whole bunch of money at some.

Or as I like to call it... Tuesday.

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Monday Night Raw

No, this isn't a post about wrestling and the WWE.

This is an uncensored vent session from the frustrated guy on the other side of the keyboard... consider yourself warned.

* * * * * * * *

As much as being unemployed sucks, being under-employed sucks more.

Starting tomorrow, I'm the newest member of the afternoon shift at Islands West Produce, picking orders in a freezer to be shipped all over the island.

It's an honest day's work for solid money... and there is nothing outside of the steady paycheck that has me interested in the least.

But there is nothing else out there and that is painful.

Me, my university degree and countless years of experience - both managerial and front line - can't get a job outside of the brother of a recent acquaintance helping me out because he knows I'm in a pinch.

There is no "office job" to magically go find as some people have pondered, and restaurants and bars are cutting staff, not hiring, since people aren't going out nearly as much any more.

Even the goddamn Brannigan's around the corner that has like 14 tables and was advertising as hiring hasn't called me back, that's how grim the situation is for me these days.

While I've finally got my foot in the door with a solid company in terms of my writing, the $20.83 per article I receive isn't quite enough to retire on. Not to mention the fact that until that first paycheck hits the bank, it's all just promises and they've been broken a time or two already in my writing career.

Brutal.

All I want is an opportunity to do what I'm clearly good at and earn a very modest living doing so, but that isn't happening.

Neither is the all-time backup plan of waiting tables and slinging drinks.

Neither is friggin' Blockbuster goddamn Video or anything else.

So I'm picking produce in the freezing cold and I'm none to happy about it.

FML.

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The First Step Towards World Domination...

Say hello to the latest addition to the Mixed Martial Arts team at Heavy.com!

That's right, yours truly has found himself a job writing about Mixed Martial Arts and it actually pays something... crazy, I know.

Of course, there have been other "paying" jobs in the past that ended up paying me in pocket lint, but this one is a much more reliable venture, having been around for an extended period of time and coming to me courtesy of a guy I've come to trust in the business.

Now, this certainly isn't going to be "stay at home and never serve another plate of fries" type money, but it's a start. You've got to make your first buck before you can make your first million, right?

That being said, it's money and money for something that I've been doing religiously for the last five months pretty much for free, so there is no denying that it's an improvement. As great as exposure and opportunity is when it comes to the business of writing, exposure and opportunity with a little something something in the bank account each month is certainly a much more appetizing idea.

The move to Team Heavy as I'm going to call it will come with a little bit of a shift for Keyboard Kimura; some of the more regular pieces and top tier op-ed stuff will get moved over to Heavy, but that doesn't mean K2 is going the way of the dinosaur.

After all, I have a serious addiction to (a) the computer, (b) writing in general and (c) reading my own work and thinking how wonderful it is, so you know I'm going to find a way to keep spreading myself ridiculously thin and writing in as many places as possible.

But Team Heavy becomes the primary focus... so be sure to check out the site and find my work... all 37 of you.

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Things I Learned This Week

1. Our Movers Suck!

First, they agree to a date for pickup. Then they tell us we're going to have to change that to accommodate their schedule. We sort things out, come to a compromise and our things get put on a truck.

Seven days later, they're still not here and the phone call we were told we'd get today as an update still has materialized.

For anyone out there considering a move, especially one of a great distance and with time constraints, this is why you pay the extra money to go with one of the big boys... you get your stuff when on time.


2. Maybe We Shouldn't Travel

The more I think about it, the more I realize that every trip we plan to make has some element of frustration beyond the usual, acceptable "sat next to a guy who smelled funny on the plane" type of annoyances.

In the last two years, we've had an appendix up-end Christmas in Vancouver, a collision with a deer derail a road trip back to Newfoundland, headaches galore with our wedding in the Dominican and the current travel situation that has us living like squatters with nothing more than an air mattress and the clothes on our backs.

Something tells me we need to take a break from trying to go places and just enjoy exploring the surroundings of Victoria.

3. Trying to be a Better Person

I've had a lot of windbags chiming in on pieces over at Bleacher Report lately, launching personal attacks at me and others just for the sake of having something to say, and I just don't get it.

What good comes from pissing in someone's cereal or calling someone "trailer trash" when you actually know very little about them? We're all guilty of it at one point or another, myself included, but I'm doing my best to stop. I really just don't see the point.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and can think whatever they want about just about anyone. But if all you can add to the conversation is namecalling and nonsense, why open your mouth in the first place? Because really, none of us are perfect...

4. Liking Victoria

This is exactly the type of city for me; lots to do, the things I like and want in close proximity and plenty of space and scenery to enjoy all rolled into one.

Instead of having to drive 30 minutes to buy clothes from the terrific trio of Zellers, Wal-Mart or Superstore, I can drive ten minutes, roam through all kinds of quality stores in the mall and pick up a Starbucks while I'm there... stopping on the way home to grab some sushi.

I get why some people love quiant little places like Kimberley as much as they do; it's a great town, just not for me. I need life, some traffic and options on every corner and so far, Victoria is coming through in spades.

5. Future YouTube Sensation

One of these days, I'm going to bring my camera outside and tape Luke wrestling with Chili, the pug from upstairs.

It's priceless and if David After the Dentist and Charlie Bit My Finger can become YouTube sensations, than Pug MMA can certainly follow suit, especially if I can capture the times that Chili bites onto Luke's chubby little cheeks and starts dragging him off the concrete and back onto the grass.

Seriously, it's hilarious... you'll see.

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Happy Second Birthday, iBlog!

Somehow, I've been writing this bad boy for two years as of today.

The more amazing thing - besides the fact that I've actually managed to do this for two years without quitting - is that there have been 580 posts, including this one. Considering that there have been 730 days since this undertaking began, 580 posts is pretty solid.

But enough with the statistics, this is about what Year Three will bring... hopefully.

For starters, a return to the daily ridiculousness that iBlog originated as back in the days of being based in Newfoundland and making fun of Blockbuster Video customers. While I'm no longer at both, there is no shortage of stupid people and sarcastic comments available in Victoria...

Secondly, and this one is more a Spencer thing than an iBlog thing, a move to a more permanent position the keyboard, as opposed to finding a way to fit in a daily iBlog post around "a real job" and all the other volunteer work (read: MMA writing) that currently makes up my day.

Three - less posts about me, my trials and tribulations and the mundane existence that is my life as a struggling writer. Let's be honest: there is only so many sad bastard, whoa is me post that anyone will come back for and the 37 of you who hang out here regularly have got to be pretty damn tired of it by now...

After all, I've been droning on like this for two friggin' years.

Thanks for sticking around with me all this time... now it's time to eat some cake!

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Things I Learned This Week

1. Last Major Move

Not because I've suddenly been offered a job with a reasonable salary or because we know we'll fall madly in love with Victoria. No, this is the last major move because packing and hauling ourselves across this great country of ours is getting ridiculous.

Though it took just five hours worth of work to get 2/3 of the house parceled and packed yesterday, here we are today hoping that the movers tell us they're coming Tuesday or Wednesday so we can avoid the remaining 1/3.

At this point, I might be willing to pay for someone to come finish the job. Let me know if you're interested.

2. Suddenly Popular

Always amazes me how months and months can go by with little to no social activity dotting our calendar, but as soon as that final week in town rolls around, everyone wants to have dinner.

Not knocking having dinner with friends (or having friends at all for that matter) but how come you want to hang out now? I mean, we had an entire year to do stuff and now that we're super busy getting packed and cleaning the house, we need to hang out?

3. I'm Becoming a Coffee Nerd... and I Like It

Remember how I used to make fun of people who order grandiose concoctions with half this and no that and a shot of something else with their coffee?

Yeah - I'm that guy now and I don't care. The days of packing back super-fat coffees at Starbucks are over. If I want to indulge in something other than good old-fashioned java, it's now a No Fat, White Mocha, No Whip with a pump of peppermint.

Delightful!

4. A Welcomed Hiatus

With all the packing and moving and planning and roadtripping on the go right now, writing has taken and will continue to take a backseat.

As much as I thought it would drive me insane, I actually quite enjoy it. Not rushing around during the day to squeeze in a column here and an article there; it makes taking afternoon naps a lot easier.

For now, I'll write whenever inspiration / desperation hits me and chronicle some of our journey out to the island, but until we get settled and the new world headquarters of ESKimo Enterprises opens it's doors, I'm on hiatus... and I love it.

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Attack of the Green-Eyed Monster and His Collection of Baseless Accusations

Unfortunately, the green-eyed monster I speak of is not the lovable Mike Wasowski from Monsters Inc. I'm speaking, of course, about jealousy.

There are some things I'm going to have to accept (and I truthfully already have) if I want to make it in the writing business. First and foremost is that not everyone is going to like my work. That one I came to grips with long ago.

The second is that there are always going to be jealous people out there. I'm not saying my work is worthy of jealousy - a collection of monkeys chained to typewriters could do just as good a job as me - but some people are haters and feel the need to piss in other people's Corn Flakes.

Such was my day yesterday.

As mentioned the other day, I was recently moved into the #1 position in the Bleacher Report MMA writer rankings, a position that holds less value, power and merit than being the pie eating champion at the local country fair; at least that guy gets a trophy... and pie.

While there is a certain intrinsic satisfaction and feeling like my efforts are being recognized, believe me when I tell you that I haven't let the ranking go to my head.

Honestly, how could I? It's a subjective ranking on an website, not a proclamation from the New York Post that I'm the greatest writer in the world.

Anyway, when I went to the site to post the day's article, there was a message in my mailbox. When I opened it up, the green-eyed monster jumped out, wielding a collection of baseless accusations as his weapons.

The quick and dirty version is this: the author felt compelled to tell me that he - a man who can't spell properly and is a big fan or piss-poor grammar - believes that I am a hack, a plagiarist, have a stupid name, cheated my way to the #1 ranking, am incapable of writing as much as I do and myriad other insults and allegations.

Did I mention that at no point in the three months that I've been on Bleacher Report had I said more than twelve words to this Gomer before receiving his love letter?

Like I said up front, I can take the not liking my work. even from someone who believes enough is spelled "enuf" and thinks it's "rediculis" that I write as much as I do.

What I refuse to accept are douchey morons who feel the need and desire to make baseless accusations about people - in this case me - then quickly remind me about Freedom of Speech.

After a long and drawn out day of nonsense, this guy was classy enough to offer up $10K for me to pick an arena or gym where he would meet me to prove that a martial art I trained in years ago (tae kwon do) is useless.

Seriously, this is the idiocy that follows me around.

I know I shouldn't let it get me worked up; Sarah and I actually talk about it every time something like this comes up, because I take it very personal and I shouldn't.

What can I say? I'm working on that part.

But there is something about people just randomly making statements and claims about another person that rubs me the wrong way. Not so much that this tool thinks I'm an 18-year-old rich kid with a stupid name and massive inheritance coming my way, but the general idea of things - the idea that you can just say whatever you want about someone without repercussions.

That's not how I live my life and maybe I'm thick for not understanding how others don't do the same.

Jealously and envy aren't my style, but I guess they're something I'm going to have to get used to, what with being a useless, plagiarizing hack and all.

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Things I Learned This Week

1. They Invented Shovels for a Reason

So we got our first set of snowfalls this week; nothing massive, but enough for the complex groundskeeper to have to do a little bit of snow removal. With the stairs covered in snow, I fully expected to see him, shovel in hand, taking care of the early white annoyance.

But that would only make sense. After all, why should I expect said lazy, useless groundkeeper to do anything the right way after watching him take four days to mow the grass all summer? Even though shovels were designed specifically for the purpose of snow removal, do you know what this rocket surgeon was rocking?

A leaf blower. You read that right - a goddamn leaf blower. Needless to say, the stairs still have snow caked on them.

2. Even Luke Isn't Interested in an Early Winter

Though he quite enjoyed playing in the snow last winter, like us, the canine component of the house was thoroughly unimpressed with the snow that fell this week.

After about two energetic frolics through the fluffy, white powder, Luke had had enough. He sticks to the road and concrete as much as possible, lifts alternating paws out of the cold when he is forced into the snow and has no real interest in spending more time outside than is absolutely necessary.

Basically, he's the canine equivalent of yours truly.

3. There Are Some Awful Football Teams This Year

While I completely enjoy quiet Sundays on the couch watching football while Sarah slugs it out at the hospital, what's a brother gotta do to get a decent game on the television? Why in the name of all things holy would I have any interest in watching the Oakland Raiders?

Option #2 for an early game was Dallas at Kansas City, which is marginally better than watching the Raiders, except that I absolutely hate the Dallas Cowboys and listening to Troy Aikman make excuses for his former team.

Detroit actually looks decent compared to St. Louis, and don't even get me started on Cleveland and Buffalo... yeech!

4. The Blueprint 3 is...

Insert your own superlative of choice: awesome, dope, bananas (B-AN-AN-AS), classic, dynamic, whatever you'd like.

I know I told you all about it a few weeks ago when "Run this Town" appeared in the Soundtrack, but the fact that I went out and actually bought the CD should tell you the level of smooth this album possesses.

"Empire State of Mind" is ridiculous.

5. Making Moves, Part 193

It probably seems to you that ever week is met with a new update on the status of my writing career, but the truth is that every week offers something new.

For one, the Keyboard Kimura interview curse was broken last night at WEC 43 when Scott Jorgensen dropped Noah Thomas in the first round. Add to that someone new taking over the top spot on the Bleacher Report MMA Writer Rankings (read: little ol' me) and the fact that I am in the process of interviewing Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida, and I'd say there has been some new things learned on the writing front this week.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone... enjoy the turkey sweats!

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Things I Learned This Week

1. A Few Less Headaches

Moving is a stressful process, so it was great to get a couple of the headaches out of the way earlier this week by finding a place to live and discovering that we have pretty solid landlords who will be living above us with their pug named Chili.

Additionally, getting great reviews of the neighbourhood from friends and family that have frequented Victoria over the past few years helps too; nothing worse than thinking you found a great place to live and ending up in a stinkhole.

Now all we have to do is coordinating getting everything out there with spending a couple days in Vancouver.

2. My Time Will Come

I'm still super impatient, but this week yielded a couple great interviews and a few chances to talk to people in the MMA industry, reaffirming my belief that writing about the sport will eventually become my sole career.

It was great to hear "Showdown" Joe Ferraro echo some of the thoughts and feelings I have, both about the growth of the industry and future opportunities, as well as some fighters to keep an eye on.

There is no better way to know you're on track than to have someone who has made it that you look up to and respect saying the same things as you.

3. I'm An Uncle Again!

Charlie Olivia Kyte was born on Wednesday and I'm happy to report that both mother and daughter are doing well.

I would have told you sooner, but no one called to tell me... not my brother (the dad), not my mom (the doting grandmother), no one.

How can I be out of the loop inside my own family circle?

4. Step-Mother-in-Law

Additional congratulations go out this week to my father-in-law Garry and his now fiancee Theresa. While step-mother-in-law is easily the most awkward title a person can hold, T is awesome and I'll be happy to spit out that mouthful of a moniker over the coming years.

These two are actually nauseatingly cute; they text each other all the time, talk three or four times a day and are like school kids around each other, all giddy and silly and in love... makes me sick!

Congratulations guys... may I suggest somewhere warm in the winter for the wedding?

5. Dedication is For Suckers... Sometimes

I like to consider myself a hard-working guy and someone who does whatever is needed of him at work, covering shifts, doing the little extras and all that stuff that should get a person ahead.

Turns out, I was just a chump.

Back to the slower season and what has my hard work through last ski season and all summer gotten me? Wednesday and Thursday days on the bar, where a grand total of 23 customers could possibly turn up.

The guy who left for the summer gets more shifts than me. The woman who works "when she needs to" gets more shifts than me and the one who showed up loaded every weekend all summer long gets more shifts than me.

Super...

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Things I Learned This Week

1. C'mon End of October
As much as I hate moving, this move can't get here fast enough.

Simply put, I'm over it here. Not that I won't miss certain people and the beautiful surroundings, but I need a city.

I need a place where people go out to eat for lunch and the guy who is stuck working during the day can actually earn some money.

And I need sushi.

2. Newspapers Don't Return Emails
Or at least not unsolicited emails from people telling them they need to improve their MMA coverage.

Between the Victoria Times-Colonist, the National Post and the Globe and Mail, you would think that one of them would at least send a "Thanks for you input, we'll be in touch" type email, knowing that if I'm willing to cold email two of the biggest newspapers in the country, a response email would make me do cartwheels.

Alas, no cartwheels this week; guess all that "slow and steady" advice I've been getting is the way I'm going to have to go.
3. Another Shining Moment for the US Justice System
Plaxico Burress started serving his two-year sentence for shooting himself earlier this week.

While I certainly agree that his decision to bring a concealed, loaded handgun into a club was moronic, am I the only one who thinks this feels like if the cops showed up in 8 Mile and hauled Cheddar Bob off to the clink when he shot himself?

He's an idiot, not a threat to society...
4. All Things Considered, Business is Good
As much as I'm over-anxious and anti-patience, my move to writing about MMA has been outstanding and business is good.

In just shy of five months, I've gone from starting Keyboard Kimura as an outlet for myself to being syndicated on four strong sites, interviewing a number of talented fighters and MMA personalities and garnering well over 1,000 reads per day.

Even if nothing else changes between now and May, I'll easily break the 300,000 page views mark and that is pretty damn impressive if you ask me.

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Gone for a Minute, Back on the Grind Now

"Thought I was finished (Nope) / Not Jerry Seinfeld"

The lyrics to my man Classified's 2006 single "Find Out" serve as the title and kick off this return of sorts because, well, let's be honest... it's been a while since I dropped by iBlog.

Sorry... it won't happen again.

Here's a quick update of what's been taking up my time as of late and what I've skipped over in ignoring my duties here for the past week:

• I'm now officially addicted to Criminal Minds
• Got myself an advertising deal for both iBlog and Keyboard Kimura
• House hunting in Victoria from Cranbrook sucks
• Work is a veritable ghost town, but I still have to go in regularly
• Newspaper editors don't return emails... ever

That's about the extent of things really.

The advertising will be coming soon and is far from a financial windfall, but still cool nonetheless.

Criminal Minds is my brother-in-law Timothy's fault; we watched a marathon the day they were set to leave here a couple weeks back, and since then I can't miss an episode. I watch four hours of the damn show Friday and Sunday on A&E and caught the season premier earlier this week.

Thanks Timmay...

Anyway, from here on out, I'll be doing my best to get back to the daily delivery that got all 47 of you hooked in the first place, complete with Rundowns on Wednesdays, Soundtrack on Friday and all the random goodness you've come to know and expect from me here.

Time to tackle Keyboard Kimura for the day and look for more houses, then go to work for the night.

See you tomorrow... I promise.

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The Rundown: Busier Than the Prettiest Hooker on 2-for-1 Tuesdays!

Pictured is Ms. Julia Roberts who once played the prettiest hooker on film opposite Richard Gere in Pretty Woman.

No, this isn't a post about Pretty Woman, though I could certainly tell you everything there is to know about the flick as it is easily one of my mom's all-time favorites and was a sick day from school staple growing up.

This is, however, a breakdown of all the things going on in life right now that have me running ragged and working at a fevered pace.

From interviews with fighters and MMA personalities to shifts at the restaurant and planning our next move, this week has me feeling busier than the prettiest hooker on 2-for-1 Tuesdays and I thought I'd share that with you.

You're welcome.

spanFive Things Keeping Me Busier Than Humanly Possible

5. Moving to Victoria
It's official: we're relocating again, heading off to Victoria next month to try again in another town.

Things just haven't worked out here the way we wanted and Victoria offers a better collection of the things we're looking for both in life and work, so we're packing up and shipping off once again.

Between now and then we've got to find a place to live, find me a job, pack up this place and arrange for all our stuff to get out there. Unfortunately, working on most of those things will have to wait until next week.

4. Harassing People to Give Me a Job
Maybe harassing isn't the right word; begging might fit, but I try to keep the emails and letters free from any usage of the word please with more than one e.

Jokes aside, this move is a chance for me to really break into things on the MMA front if someone is willing to take a chance, as both Victoria and Vancouver have outstanding newspapers with quality websites in need of some MMA coverage.

And I want to be that guy...

3. Writing
This one should be pretty damn obvious.

I know what you're thinking: how hard is it to write two mediocre "blogs" per day? Well, for starters, nothing that goes up at Keyboard Kimura is mediocre; Sports Illustrated doesn't carry mediocre and they're becoming fans of carrying K2 material.

Additionally, when you're trying to make this your career - not necessarily this particular brand of writing here, but you know what I mean - it's more than just sitting down and smashing out random thoughts.

Plus, next week gets even crazier with two fight cards to preview in addition to the everyday routine.

2. Transcription
Easily my least favorite part of what I'm doing right now.

I need one of those computers or programs that has voice recognition and can take what I've recorded from various interviews and convert it into text for me, because I hate trying to do it myself.

Fifteen minute interviews take an hour to transcribe with all the starting and stopping, Google every sponsor and coach mentioned to make sure you spell their name right and so on and so forth.

My birthday is coming up quickly people - someone feel free to buy me that software.

1. Interviews
Now we come to what is clearly my favorite part of what keeps me busy these days.

In addition to the outstanding interviews I've already churned out, I've got a bunch on the horizon, including having completed two today; one with Ryan Loco and one with Ultimate Fighter Season 10 contestant Matt Mitrione.

Still to come are Cole Miller, Sam Stout, New Jersey Athletic Commission Board member Nick Lembo and potentially a couple more TUF 10 contestants.

What makes it even more enjoyable is that the goofy, awkward Spencer who first interviewed Cabral Richards is long gone, replaced by a seasoned vet with a great mix of intelligent, though-provoking questions and straight up nonsense.

The forthcoming Ryan Loco interview (tomorrow or Friday on Keyboard Kimura) is the most ridiculous thing I've ever done, and I mean that in the best way possible.

With all this in mind, sorry if I don't reply to emails, answer you on MSN, have time to chat on Facebook or pick up the phone.

Chances are I'm already on it, either talking to a fighter, trying to get a job or ordering a pizza because I'm too damn busy to cook!

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Things I Learned This Week

1. What Time is It? Time to Get My Drank On!
This has been the most outstanding weekend in a long, long time and not just because we've all been various stages of hammered over the last 36 hours.

Whenever you ask Michelle what she wants to do, here response is "Get My Drank On!" and that is awesome. Despite the fact that it's narly 4:00 pm and the day hasn't really started yet due to last night's festivities, my suggestion that alcohol intake probably wouldn't happen to night was met with a resounding, "What?"

Expect drunken status updates on Facebook later.

2. The Dog Likes Advil
Don't worry, this is not information we found out while intoxified or anything like that. We did not feed the dog pain medicine.

He stole the bottle. Noisy, rattling things amuse him. Noisy, rattling things amusing him amuses all of us.

This is what happens when you've been getting your drank on for the better part of two days.

3. Deuce Answers the Phone at All Hours
My man Deuce lives in Newfoundland, three and a half hours ahead of us here in Kimberley. Despite this fact - which we were acutely aware of early this morning - we decided we missed him enough to call and tell him.

Five minutes after leaving our message, a surprisingly awake Deuce returned our call, laughing at the ridiculousness that is drunken Sarah, Michelle and Spencer.

Tim was passed out already by this point. We called Deuce because my clippers died right when we were preparing to shave comatosed Tim's legs...

4. eHarmony Isn't For Everyone
Believe it or not, you can be turned down by eHarmony. How miserable would that make you feel?

The fact that the process of joining eHarmony is very, very labor-intensive (I started yesterday after hearing the story and seeing their adds for a free communication weekend... and yes, my wife knew I was doing so) would just make this even more depressing.

You go through 487 questions and come up with, "Sorry, you're too picky and we don't have a single person who is compatible with you."

Yikes.

5. Getting Some Serious Readership
In non-boozy weekend news, this week has yielded a couple more syndication opportunities for my work at Keyboard Kimura, upping the number of readers I get per day and increasing my exposure even more.

What makes it even better is that neither offer came through the usual means (read: me begging someone to carry my work). Instead, they approached me and being the attention whore that I am, I said yes really quickly and patted myself on the back.

Slowly but surely, we're getting out there and going to be taking over the MMA world...

6. And Still Reigning Scrabble Champion...
Prior to getting mangled last night, we rocked a four-way game of Scrabble, which the wife was running away with.

That is, until I dropped "HISTORY" on the board with my last seven letters, landing on a double word score in addition to collecting my 50 bonus points.

You're winner and still reigning Scrabble Champion of the World...

P.S. I went undefeated in games last night, as Tim and I also won Cranium and he "lost" at very drunken game of Bullshit.

I'm out... time to get our drank on!

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Things I Learned This Week

1. I Must Learn Patience
No, this isn't a new revelation, as the topic of my lack of patience has made an appearance or two here over the years.

That being said, I spent the week talking to some people I greatly respect within the MMA industry and everyone said to be patient; take the small opportunities, make the most of them and keep putting out good work.

Eventually, good things will happen. So for now, we remain patient.

2. Pay Would Be Nice, But The Exposure is Great Too
Three weeks, four pieces posted to the MMA page of Sports Illustrated.

As much as I would love for someone to randomly drop into my life and offer me a fat salary for covering the sport, it's hard to argue with an opportunity to have thousands of readers checking out my material.

While it doesn't pad the wallet, it sure looks great on the resume.

3. Never Going to be Those Guys
Friday night's drunken morons in the bar solidified that while I certainly enjoyed my booze-fueled days of before, I have absolutely no interest in repeatedly revisiting them.

What makes it better is that these tools are mangled and telling tall tales in a Kelsey's... full of other dudes. Being a drunken moron is one thing, being a drunken moron at a massive sausage fest is even better, where better means funnier to the sober bartender.

Don't get me wrong: I still enjoy a few drinks (as I will this evening) but three day benders in a quiet little town like Kimberley aren't my idea of a good time.

4. The Wife is into MMA
While she didn't have much choice in the beginning, what with me prattling on about it all the time, now she's admittedly getting into it on her own... and that is awesome.

Watching the fights last night, she actually delivered a "Wow, that guy really has no wrestling or jiu jitsu whatsoever, huh?" when Chris Leben was getting dominated on the ground.

That's my girl!

5. Moving Update
Sarah has an interview on Friday and there are a couple different opportunities at the hospital she's been looking at, so that eliminates some of the worry.

Addditionally, we've now got some contacts out there who have assured us that work for me would be easy enough to find, as would an apartment, seeing as we're not students any more. Apparently, they really like hearing the words, "Oh, I'm a nurse."

Jackpot! See you in November Victoria...

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Soundtrack of My Life

Song: Remember the Name
Artist: Fort Minor
Album: The Rising Tied (2005)

Welcome to my new theme song.

While Mike Shinoda & Co. might be talking about breaking into the music business, the formula put forth in the chorus is applicable across all arts and passions, including my struggle to get from blogging to the big time.

The breakdown is eerily apt:

10% Luck
20% Skill
15% Concentrated Power of Will
5% Pleasure
50% Pain
-------------------------------------
100% Reason to Remember the Name

Leading off with luck makes sense, as the greatest talent in the world could never be found without that one lucky break, talent be damned.

You have to have skill, but it makes up a lot less of the equation than you think, because once you get to a certain level, everyone has skill.

That next 15% is what gets me out of bed in the morning, even though I'm still tired. It's what has me sitting at the computer all day, despite the fact that another long night on the bar is quickly approaching. It's why even when I feel like doing nothing more than laying on the couch and relaxing, I hammer through another article.

Yes, I love what I do, but it's still work. The sheer enjoyment goes away quickly, after the honeymoon phase of any new project passes. Then it's work and something I have to do, regardless of how much I like what I'm writing about.

You think the pain has too great a percentage?

Open countless emails telling you, "Thanks, but no thanks."

Have interviews fall through and paychecks for published work never materialize.

Pour hours on end into a project, only to see the money disappear and the opportunity follow suit shortly thereafter.

Get in a fight with your loved ones because you're spending too much time with what you love instead of who you love.

Or enjoy the fact that some of them barely ever check out your work.

The pain is legit, and so is this song.

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