Things I Learned This Week

1. The Breakthrough is Coming
Call me crazy, but having two of my original articles appear on Sports Illustrated's MMA & Boxing page in a seven day span is a positive step.

In under four months, Keyboard Kimura and my work as an MMA writer have grown exponentially, thanks in large part to my willingness to shamelessly self-promote wherever I can, but also because the level of work continues to climb.

After what feels like an eternity of spinning my tires and not being overly excited about what I was writing, things are finally starting to take shape and I've found my niche. All that's missing is a regular paycheck.

2. Hello, My Name is Sally
What the hell has happened to me? I used to be able to go out and drink myself stupid, get a couple hours of comatose-like sleep and be ready to take on the world.

Now, a long night of work leaves me laying on the couch in a heap for the better part of the day. When did I become such a Sally?

Granted, I did tend bar at a wedding for 12 hours last night,working into the wee hours of the morning, and getting to sleep at 4:00, but how in the name of all things right with the world can I remain totally sober and still feel like a complete and utter sack of hammers?

Even I want to make fun of me.

3. Four Months? Already?
Happy Anniversary Mrs. Kyte!

How it's already been 1/3 of a year is beyond me, but believe me, I'm not complaining. Well, not right now. I'm sure I will later, probably about something inconsequential.

4. Continuing to Excel at the Completely Meaningless
Last week I told you about the outstanding seasons my Fantasy Baseball teams are putting together, building momentum as the playoffs approach.

Since September is rolling around, that means one things: Football. As such, a couple Fantasy Football drafts have already been completed and while one didn't go as well as I would have liked, I will say right now, before a single meaningful snap has taken place that one of my teams - Team Canada (original, I know...) - will absolutely dominate this season.

And to the victor goes... absolutely nothing. Why must I be good at totally useless things?

5. The Word Star Gets Thrown Around Awful Liberally These Days
There is no more perfect example than this Ryan Jenkins guy who has apparently fled here to Canada after murdering his girlfriend.

They keep referring to him as a Reality TV Star. Funny, I've never heard to this murderous douchebag. Turns out he's on some VH-1 Bachelorette rip-off, which makes him the equivalent of one of the love interests of Tila Tequila and we all know what kind of superstars we're dealing with there.

If he's a star, what do people who are famous and talented now get qualified as? Mega-stars? Superstars?

6. I Need to Write for TV
Why? Apparently there is an insane lack of talent, forcing networks to move forward with such wonderful fall additions as:

• CSI Los Angeles starring Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J.
• Brothers starring former NFL'er Michael Strahan as a retired player (big stretch) who returns home and hangs out with his wheelchair-bound brother.
• I can only assume there will be more seasons of Survivor, The Amazing Race, various "this single person wants to find a partner" crap and 47 more cooking challenge shows as well.
  

By the way, when did it become okay for the guy in the wheelchair to be the center of all the jokes?

Did I miss a memo or something?

He's a paraplegic, so smashing him in the legs with a door is funny because he can't feel it... really?