Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Rundown: Dream Jobs

My favourite movie ever is High Fidelity.

I know it's not a masterpiece or a classic or a poignant period piece or anything like that, but it speaks to me and that is all that matters. It was through this flick that I discovered one of my favourite authors, Nick Hornby, rekindled my love of John Cusack and realized that there is nothing wrong with being the guy on the verge of 30 with an encyclopedic knowledge of random junk who is never satisfied with his station in life. In essence, I am Rob Gordon.

Why am I telling you all this today? Glad you asked...

There is a scene in the movie where Rob comes home and Laura, his ex, has returned to their apartment to collect some of her things and started to read a list he made up that is sitting on the kitchen table.

She reads aloud Rob's Top Five Dream Jobs and, aside from "architect" which requires seven years schooling and an ability to draw and design structures, none of them are too far fetched. I mean, sure, some of them are referenced to years gone based on what cool people he would have met, but it's not like he's written down President of the United States or All-Star Shortstop for the Yankees or anything. They're all jobs that he could actually obtain. Which brings us to today.

I'm currently job hunting. There is about five weeks or so before I pack up my gear and head back to Ontario. Waiting for me in London is a position at the Blockbuster around the corner from where we'll be living with Sarah's dad. While the security is nice, the thought of having to explain the difference between a late fee and a restocking fee for another summer has me checking the job boards like a poor man checking his lottery numbers.

With that in mind, there really isn't a better time to pull out today's High Fidelity inspired Rundown:

All-Time Top Five Dream Jobs

5. Freelance Writer
Yes, I know I already am a freelance writer. This actually is one of my dream jobs. I'd like it to be a little more lucrative and there be a few more outlets for my work on my plate, but all in all, I can't complain. There are a lot of days when I get to sit at home in the woobs (my adopted from Kevin Smith name for comfy, lounging clothes) and write about the things that I love like sports and movies and nonsense. Plus, Rob Gordon's #5 is Record Store Owner...

4. Pub Owner / Bartender
This one may seem a little weird, but here is the breakdown for you: I've always liked having a place to go that I feel 100% comfortable and would love to create that place for my friends and family. I could still do a ton of writing, further my love of cooking by dabbling in the kitchen and let's be honest, when all I need to do is open bottles and pour pints, I'm a pretty solid bartender.

3. Movie Critic
I don't want to be Ebert or Roeper or even Joel Siegel, but the notion of someone paying me to go watch movies and then voice my opinions on them is very appealing. I mean, we all tend to do that anyway right? We go see something, our friends and colleagues ask us how it was and we give them our critique. It's a natural occurrence. Getting paid for something I am going to do anyways is always appealing to me. Plus, I love popcorn.

2. Television Sports Anchor / Host
I have an insane amount of sports-based knowledge tucked away in this over-sized head of mine. Additionally, I'm not horrible looking and am mildly amusing. Combine those three and what do you have? A successful television sports anchor / reporter. Nothing is worse to me than the guys who try too hard to be funny. There are only so many times that "Evgeny is playing his Nabokov" is funny. D'you hear me Tim Micallef? I'm coming for your job!

1. Screenwriter

This one has been lingering for some time now and I think that is because I (a) watch a lot of movies, (b) often know even the non-cliched dialogue that is coming in advance and (c) seem to think I could do better than some of the drivel that is out there. As well everything thus far, I'm not looking to be an Oscar winner or anything like that; writing a couple good flicks that reach people is all I'm after. Additionally, there is a lot of downtime in a job like this and really, getting to lay around the house in the woobs, playing with the dogs and the brats (once they come) is what I'm looking forward to most.


Newt said...

High Fidelity is perhaps my favorite movie of all time. I blame that movie for rarely going a day without fabricating some strange top 5 or top 10 list (top 10 side one, track one). The dream job list does come up quite often and I think that your love for movies and your movie critic role would be similar to my technology tester role that would entail myself testing all the cool new gadgets and rating them. Thats on my top 5 for sure. Oh, I also want to be Lindsay Lohan for a day and win the Tour de France.

Chalk said...

High Fidelity didn't do much for me. Maybe it was because I already loved Cusack. Better Off Dead, but especially the one where he wants to kickbox and be with Frasier's Dad's daughter....

Anyway, we have similar tastes in jobs. I graduated from bartending school, but never tended bar. Decided to go get a Masters in Liberal Arts instead. Dumb.

Before B&C did a draft of a screenplay with a buddy. It's still on the back back back burner.

One variation dream job is to be a movie ending writer. The guy they call when they realize they have a good movie but can't figure out how to end the damn thing. There need to be more of those people.