The Rundown: Countdown to Victoria

Now that we've found a place and confirmed moving dates with the the guys who are hauling our stuff to the island, all that is left to do is pack and think about all the things I'm looking forward to with this move to Victoria.

While I'm certainly going to miss aspects of life here in Kimberley, the simple truth of the matter is that despite my one year sabbatical to the quiet outdoors of British Columbia, I'm a city boy at heart and Victoria has more of what I'm looking for.

What are those things? Keep reading because they're the topic of today's Rundown.

Top 5 Things I'm Looking Forward to About Victoria

5. SUSHI
I don't think I can say this enough - I love sushi!

As much as the drive to Fernie makes for a nice evening out with the wife, spending three hours in the car to enjoy my favorite food just isn't worth it. Instead of having sushi once in a blue moon, we'll be able to walk around the corner and pick up dinner whenever we want.

Fast food will be a thing of the past; sushi will replace all on-the-fly meals and that is absolutely awesome.

4. BEST FRIEND FOR LUKE
This may sound silly to some, but since we aren't at the "having kids" stage of life, Cool Hand Luke gets treated like our child and everyone wants their kids to have friends.

With this move, the little puggy bastard will have a built in best friend right upstairs. The little ball of energy will be able to hop out into our fenced backyard and hang out with Chili, our landlord's pug.

While we'll certainly still play "The Bite Game" and go for some marathon walks to tire him out, it's going to be real nice to just open the door and let him expend some energy without having to stop everything to entertain the dog.

3. COVERING LIVE MMA EVENTS
In addition to making a long weekend out of the UFC's proposed trip to Vancouver this coming summer, Victoria is home to Armageddon Fighting Championships.

Being able to get out and cover events in person will be a great way for me to continue my development as an MMA writer and foster some new relationships within the industry.

Maybe the newspaper will be interested in having someone cover these events for them...

2. BETTER OPPORTUNITIES FOR SARAH
I love my jobs and I want the same for my wife.

Right now, she hates work and it's making her question her chosen career path. That makes me angry.

Hopefully, this move to a bigger and better hospital with actual opportunities for growth and improvement, not to mention support and stronger management, will result in a renewed faith in her abilities as a nurse and a long and fruitful career of helping others.

1. CIVILIZATION
Shopping. Restaurants. Museums. Movie Theatres.

Nothing personal Kimberley, but having a choice between buying my clothes at Wal-Mart, Zellers or Superstore just doesn't cut it for me.

I need a place with malls and stores and more than four restaurants and a big-ass movie theatre that shows all the new movies and museums and Chapters and Starbucks...

You get the point.

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Things I Learned This Week

1. I Must Learn Patience
No, this isn't a new revelation, as the topic of my lack of patience has made an appearance or two here over the years.

That being said, I spent the week talking to some people I greatly respect within the MMA industry and everyone said to be patient; take the small opportunities, make the most of them and keep putting out good work.

Eventually, good things will happen. So for now, we remain patient.

2. Pay Would Be Nice, But The Exposure is Great Too
Three weeks, four pieces posted to the MMA page of Sports Illustrated.

As much as I would love for someone to randomly drop into my life and offer me a fat salary for covering the sport, it's hard to argue with an opportunity to have thousands of readers checking out my material.

While it doesn't pad the wallet, it sure looks great on the resume.

3. Never Going to be Those Guys
Friday night's drunken morons in the bar solidified that while I certainly enjoyed my booze-fueled days of before, I have absolutely no interest in repeatedly revisiting them.

What makes it better is that these tools are mangled and telling tall tales in a Kelsey's... full of other dudes. Being a drunken moron is one thing, being a drunken moron at a massive sausage fest is even better, where better means funnier to the sober bartender.

Don't get me wrong: I still enjoy a few drinks (as I will this evening) but three day benders in a quiet little town like Kimberley aren't my idea of a good time.

4. The Wife is into MMA
While she didn't have much choice in the beginning, what with me prattling on about it all the time, now she's admittedly getting into it on her own... and that is awesome.

Watching the fights last night, she actually delivered a "Wow, that guy really has no wrestling or jiu jitsu whatsoever, huh?" when Chris Leben was getting dominated on the ground.

That's my girl!

5. Moving Update
Sarah has an interview on Friday and there are a couple different opportunities at the hospital she's been looking at, so that eliminates some of the worry.

Addditionally, we've now got some contacts out there who have assured us that work for me would be easy enough to find, as would an apartment, seeing as we're not students any more. Apparently, they really like hearing the words, "Oh, I'm a nurse."

Jackpot! See you in November Victoria...

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The Rundown: Forecasting the Future

The last week has been insane on a number of levels for me, and has gotten me thinking about the future a great deal.

Not the future like "Will we ever get to have flying cars like the Jetson's?" or "What if we really do live in The Matrix?" but more in a sense of the direction my life is heading and all that good stuff.

You would think a guy who spends a combined six hours a day (most days) sitting at his computer in basketball shorts writing and playing UFC Undisputed wouldn't have much to think about, but you'd be wrong.

Why would you go and think something like that about me in the first place? Do you want to hurt my feelings? Just kidding ...

Five Future Thoughts Dominating My Thinking

5. There Are Better Jobs Than This, Right?
Slugging away at a restaurant at an uninhabited ski resort over the summer isn't really proving to be the most rewarded experience life has to offer. But in the last couple years, these are the only kind of jobs that have been coming my way.

Between Blockbuster, Montana's and Kelsey's, I've been a chain store chump for the last couple years and I'm starting to think it's all I'm cut out for. I don't want to be wearing crappy uniforms and slinging mediocre food you can get at any one of 47 other chain restaurants a year from now...

4. What I Want to be Doing is Getting Paid to Write
Why else do you think I spend six hours a day sitting at this here computer, pounding away on the keys, writing blog posts and articles and chapters for my still-unaccepted-by-an-agent book that would be literary gold?

As much as there have been some breakthroughs and progress in the last month or so (cool interviews, offers to cover events), there still isn't anyone willing to put my name on a bi-weekly piece of paper that says how much money they just turned over to Sarah on my behalf.

Hopefully, someone will start doing that in the next year or so.

3. Kids?
Let's face it: I ain't gettin' any younger.

Sorry, I just always wanted to say that because, well, it's one of the most ridiculous routinely-used phrases out there. No one is getting any younger, so just stop saying it.

Anywho, I've always said I didn't want to be too old to play with my kids and by play, I don't mean fall asleep in the chair at 6:00 pm so they can draw on me in permanent markers. I mean get out there and whip their asses at basketball, coach their soccer teams (though I have no stategic knowledge of soccer whatsoever) and do the fun things my old man did when I was growing up.

Clearly, I've been thinking about this a little. Don't worry - Sarah knows.

2. Being from "Parts Unknown" is Getting Tired
At Kelsey's, your name tag is supposed to have your hometown underneath your name. Mine says, "Parts Unknown." That's what happens when you've live in three provinces over a span of six months when you start a new job that wants your hometown on your name tag.

Though it's an easy way to spark a conversation with my tables - who then see how charming and entertaining I am, not to mention a terrific server, thereby tipping me more - I'm really, really ready to find a city, settle down and start getting down to taking care of #3 if you know what I mean.

That's why I'm so jacked up about this potential (read: probable) Victoria move. It offers all the things we're looking for, puts us closer to some of our family and has been discussed as the final destination in the whirlwind travels of Sarah & Spencer.

1. Sarah
Tell me you didn't know this was coming?

While I do spend a bunch of time just thinking about my beautiful wife and wondering what she's doing, a lot of the thoughts as of late have been about making her life better, which is where #2 really comes into play.

Her job sucks, the hospital sucks and it's making her doubt herself and that isn't cool with me. She's a terrific nurse and has proven that before, only to have this poorly-run hospital crush her spirit and make her question whether she even really wants to be a nurse at all.

I know she does and I know all she needs is the right environment to be successful and happy. My goal is to provide said environment in any way I can, whether it's moving to Victoria or making a killer dinner.

See? I got a lot on my mind...

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The Rundown: My Favorite Mistakes

So it turns out I screwed up yesterday on Keyboard Kimura.

After getting up and reading some credible sources reports of the death of MMA fighter Kimo Leopoldo, I wrote about the lasting image and memories I will have of Kimo now that he's gone.

Turns out he wasn't dead. Yikes ...

A mistake? Absolutely, but not even close to one of my best. Those are captured here for your enjoyment in today's edition of The Rundown.

Top 5 Mistakes in the Life of E. Spencer Kyte

5. Becoming a Slot Supervisor
I had the best part time job in the world, working as a Slot Attendant back in Barrie. Basically, I worked three or four times a week for eight hours, walked home with at least $100 every day and had zero responsibility.

Instead of continuing to ride the Gravy Train, I took a promotion and while the base pay was far greater, so too were the responsibilities and the undeclared, cash money in my pocket went the way of the dinosaur. While my friends were buying flat screens and cars and houses, I was broke and working twice as hard.

4. French 102 - Final Grade: F-
Not only did I fail, I failed miserably, earning a 32% in the equivalent of Grade 10 French.

Now, that wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't taken Grade 10 French in high school and earned a B+. It's also kind of incredible that I managed to fail so impressively when my grandmother is a retired French teacher who used to speak French with us on a regular basis.

Let this be an indication to all that an 8:30 class Thursday morning is a very bad choice when Wednesday night is the killer night at the campus pub.

3. Guess What? I Bought a House!
Seriously, who buys a house with someone six months into the relationship? Answer: me, apparently.

Despite the fact that I was broke and knew that buying a house was a completely ridiculous idea, I still did it anyway because, well, I used to be a moron. Four months later, the relationship frizzled and we were left with an already under construction house that we needed to resolve.

Once again, people with no money should not be allowed to put themselves in positions where great amounts of money might be needed.

2. My University Career as a Whole
I should have known things were going to be bad when my first choice as a major (English) was mocked horribly by my parents, the people paying for said higher education.

Not only was I going into a program I had no real passion for, we all should have known that there was no way I was maintaining the 80% average needed to continue in the program. I got bounced after one year. The following year I got tossed from the university as a whole.

Though I went back and smashed out my degree - with exceptional grade upon my return, thankyouverymuch - my degree in Psychology with a minor in Human Resource Management isn't really helping my career as a writer in the same ways that say, I dunno, an English degree would.

1. Leaving the Casino
Long story short - me and the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation parted ways on not so happy terms. This left me broke, unemployed and very, very scared.

After a brief tour of duty at Home Depot, a close friend offered me the opportunity to run his bar and I took it. Three months into the job, this girl with the most incredible eyes I've ever seen came in looking for work and we hired her.

Nearly three years later, she still has the most incredible eyes I've ever seen and she's helped me straighten out my mixed up life.

If I hadn't left the casino, I never would have met my wife.

Funny how life works sometimes ....

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Way Too Similar

It really is scary just how similar my brother and I are. He's the one on the left if you're wondering.

Beyond looking like twins for our entire adolescence and all the shared traits and mannerisms, it turns out we're eerily similar in terms of a number of other things as well.

We've both taken very odd paths to find the careers we want and the work that makes us most happy. Pete was on his way to stardom and success as a horse racing analyst and host before leaving it all behind to get more hands-on with the ponies. Now, he's found a great mix, working as an agent (he buys and sells horses for people) and being back behind the mic at Fort Erie and Tioga Downs.

If you've been here more than a minute, you know my story, so no need to say more than after years of trying to figure out what I wanted to do, I stumbled upon writing, fell in love with it and now you're reading the 509th post in iBlog history.

The most interesting - and also frustrating - similarity between mon frere et moi has to do with marriage and children.

I had everything planned out to propose to Sarah. We were having a weekend getaway at a beautiful hotel and I was going to do the "propose over dinner" like so many men before me. About three weeks before we went on our little trip, Pete popped the question. Not wanting to step on his toes, I pushed things back a month.

Then, whilst in the middle of getting everything coordinated and finalized for our beautiful destination wedding (and while in the process of moving here to Kimberley), an impromptu wedding announcement hit my Inbox. Pete and Brooke were making it official in Vegas at the start of November.

Now, Faye (our mom) calls me this morning to catch up. In the course of the discussion, she tells me that Pete and Brooke have selected a name for their daughter who will be entering the world some time in late September.

They're going to name her Charlie Olivia. Immediately, I started swearing.

Take a guess at what Sarah and I have always discussed and planned on naming our daughter, should we have one?

Yep... Charlie.

Technically, we were going to name her Charlotte and call her Charlie, but it's the same damn thing and now the version of me that is two years older and still not shaving on a regular basis has gone and Bogart'ed our name. Grrrrrr!

What's next?

Is he going to shave a mohawk into his head and start writing about MMA?

Maybe develop a fondness for tattoos and get some ink?

How's about moving to British Columbia?

Seriously, it's incredible how much alike the two of us are. Maybe that's why we fight like cats and dogs just about every time we see each other.

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10 Things I Learned This Week

1. Lyoto Machida is a Bad, Bad, Man
"The Dragon" destroyed Rashad Evans last night and I don't think there is currently anyone in the UFC Light Heavyweight ranks that could stop him. And no, Anderson Silva doesn't count because they would never fight each other.

2. The Dream is Getting Closer
Frustrated by the sheer lack of customers and workable hours at the restaurant, I sat down this week to start my book proposal. My goal, as mentioned last week, was to have it done by Friday. It was done on Thursday. You make your own opportunities and I'm making mine.

3. One Month? Already?
Somehow, Sarah and I have been married for a month. That means we've been home for nearly three weeks. This just doesn't seem possible to me and makes the fact that we have yet to send out Thank You cards a little more ridiculous. Guess what we're doing tomorrow night?

4. So Long First Place
If not for a random Jon Papelbon collapse yesterday, the Red Sox would have overtaken the Blue Jays for first place in the American League East. Not that I wish ill upon my fine, feathered flock, but you knew the other shoe had to drop at some point. That vaunted offense has gone away, leaving quality pitching to earn hard-luck loses the rest of the way.

5. This is How Bad It's Gotten...
Tomorrow morning, I'm going into work at 8:00 AM to pressure wash the patio and get it ready for the "busy summer season." Seriously; with the complete lack of customers and therefore complete lack of money, I'm actually graciously accepting opportunities to do manual labour first thing in the morning for a few extra bucks.

6. D'You Know What's Awesome?
Boil Water Advisories. As in, Spencer can't drink the free stuff that comes out of his tap because it's got something funky in it right now, so he has to spend the little money that he does have on the most renewable natural resource on the planet. Super.

7. Better Than Da Vinci
But Angels and Demons still wasn't outstanding or anything. It was good. It was entertaining. With far less reliance on dialogue, it was way better than the verbose Da Vinci Code, but it was still missing something.

8. Apparently I'm Getting Old
I've gone to bed before midnight every night this week. I can't stay awake for more than ten minutes of a movie from the time my head hits the pillow. While I'm not quite at the walker-slash-adult diaper stage, it's pretty damn sad that I can't make it past midnight without force...

9. Evidently, The Above is a Good Thing
As if he knows we're going to bed earlier and earlier these days, the world's greatest dog has become a fan of early morning barking fits around 3:00, 5:30 and 7:00 AM. Since Sarah has been on days this week, that means I've been up and out of bed shortly after that 5:30 barking spree most of the week. No wonder I've gotten so much done...

10. Pretty Much Smoke Free
It's been seven weeks since I bought a pack of darts and in that time, I think I've had maybe 10, tops. Not bad for Sir Smokesalot. I'm even getting my lung capacity back and everything.

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10 Things I Learned This Week

My first full week back in the mountains has been an interesting affair to say the least.

As per usual, I feel the need to share it with you, no matter how embarrassed it makes Sarah...

1. The Deer are Not Alone
I've officially gotten over my "Look at the deer" wonderment of how cool it is that they are everywhere. I'm sick of them and you can add elk to that list too. Without exaggeration, we saw 150 deer and a couple herds of elk yesterday along the TCH (Trans Canada Highway) coming home from Calgary, including the stupid, massive elk in the middle of the other lane. Them fuckers don't just ruin your car, either.

2. We'd Have Been Home Sooner But...
There was a bit of a lost property issue. Namely, Sarah's wallet. Now, lemme start by saying my new wife is the type who will leave her wallet sitting in the shopping cart then walk off to look at things. This is how I wound up carrying around a wallet yesterday. She also managed to unload all the goodies we picked up and return the cart with her wallet still in the cart. Thankfully, she figured it out while we were across the street, not on the way home and they had it for us at the store. What makes it all the more awesome is that she had an over the shoulder bag with her, but it stayed in the car where it was most useful.

3. Customer Service Excellence
So when I walked back in to Home Outfitters to inquire about Sarah's wallet, the lady who was serving us did a cursory check of her area, ask one person and wished us luck in our search. When I went back in to leave our contact information and get the number for the credit card companies, she handed me the Calgary phone book. We had accepted defeat. Fifteen minutes down the road, the store manager called and said she had Sarah's wallet. Turns out, no one had thought to ask her, something she was wickedly sarcastic about when we met her back at the store. Good to see people helping people in action.

4. We Got a Ton of Stuff for $9
This whole Calgary misadventure came about because we were registered at Home Outfitters and had gifts to pick up. Yes, Calgary is the closest store. -1 for the East Kootenays, yes. Anyway, we also received $150 in Gift Cards from various people, so in the end, we had a trunk and backseat full of gear - all wonderful by the way - and all it cost us was $9. Plus gas, food and my mild heart attack when Sarah "lost" her wallet, but still... $9.

5. Rediscovered Passion
Taking nearly three weeks off writing was hard; necessary, but hard. Since returning, the fire is back and Keyboard Kimura has a lot to do with that. Yes, I'm plugging my new blog again. Having a daily outlet for the sport I love makes me want to sit at this computer and once I get flowing, I could go for hours. Not that writing here isn't inspiring, but there is so much about MMA that I want to address and talk about and rant on and whatever that creating that site should have happened six months ago when I first thought up the name.

6. A Brief Clarification
This is for everyone who has ever said, "Why don't you just write a book" to me since I've taken up this craft. Trust me, I absolutely want to and have finally started down that road. That being said, do you have any idea how long a process it can be? It's not like I can sit for a couple days and viola - book is done, especially when I have other commitments. I'd love to take six months and sit here for 10 hours a day, but (1) I have to work and (2) I have a life to live. Yes, writing is a huge part of it, but not more so than my wife and my dog. It's going to take time, but it's going to get done.

7. One Month, Only a Couple Smokes
I didn't want to say anything because, well, you've heard it time and time again. However, in the last month, I've had three smokes. Three! Sure, there were cigars in Samana - and one in Ty's backyard the other night - but after being a smokerson for nearly 15 years, three darts in a months is awesome, even if I am the only one who thinks so.

8. Seriously, What's with the Music?
I listened to an "urban" radio station for the first time in ages yesterday (-2 for the East Kootenays if you're keeping track) and all it did was add to Tuesday's frustrations with the state of popular music. What in the hell is Kiss Me Through the Phone? To their credit, at least the delivered some K'naan and Classified, but the rest of the countdown was garbage.

9. Speaking of 98.5 Vibe in Calgary
How the hell do you have a DJ who actually knows nothing about the artists he's playing? This dude - ON AIR - couldn't remember whether Classified was from the East Coast or West Coast (East Coast...) and rambled on about how K'naan was from The Sudan and what he went through. Too bad he's from Somalia. Killing me!

10. They're Having a Girl, As Predicted
Pete & Brooke are pregnant (I think I told you that before) and they found out this week that they're having a girl. Faye and I both predicted this in the Dominican. Not by the way Brooke is carrying or any kind of science; we roll on the simple basis that we want Pete to be tortured as much as possible and well, having girls will do that to him. Emily Grace is going to be plenty once she grows up, now there will be another.

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The Rundown: Dominican Delights

Hola!

Back on the scene, married and re-energized to write like a madman after nearly three weeks away from the computer and communicating with the masses through this here blog.

A much longer, much more detailed account of the trip will be coming in the next couple days - and the pictures will be coming to Facebook sometime soon too - but seeing as it's Wednesday, I figured why not recap five of my favorite memories from our travels.

And yes, that is our main pool... so awesome!

Top Five Dominican Moments

5. The Rainstorm
Tuesday afternoon, the clouds were rolling in and the waves were getting higher. Everyone else cleared out of the ocean. Deuce, Bucky, Sarah, Tim, Michelle, Jena and I stayed put and had the best afternoon of the trip. I mean, we're already wet, so what's wrong with a little more rain, right?

4. Jena's Fire Face
When Dominican bartenders light shit on fire, stay away. I should have known better, as fire shots through a straw are never a good idea and they're even worse when they involve 151 Proof rum that tastes like gasoline. I got one taste of the diesel and had the barf reflex activate. Jena, on the other hand, down most of her shot with straw, then picked up the scalding shot glass, put it to her lips and had the last remaining drops of booze ignite all around her face. No injuries makes this story awesome!

3. Negotiating 101 with Lance Doucette
Just plain awesome. Deuce doesn't smoke and can barely keep a cigar lit for longer than two minutes, which makes this all the more entertaining. Nothing like spending an hour smoking a man's products - for free - and trying to rake him over the coals for every last penny when you're already getting what sounds like a pretty good deal.

(Original quoted price: 325 a box. Bucky paid 180 twenty minutes earlier...)

Merchant: Gimme 165.
Deuce: 162... yeah, I'll go there.

Priceless. Turns out the boys got hosed, but still...

2. Starting Out with a Bang!
So the boys got loaded right off the plane. Rules stipulated that a Do Not Disturb sign on the door meant stay out. Too bad neither of them actually put it on the door. Deuce literally crashed at Jena's (about 24 hours after meeting her... awkward...) while Bucky slept by the pool under lounge cushions until about 2 AM when he figured out their room was totally empty. Just plain epic.

1. Seeing Sarah for the First Time on Thursday
You'll see the pictures later and the whole event was awesome, but the image of my wife coming down the stairs looking radiant will forever be etched in my memory.

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Soundtrack of My Life

Song: My Life Would Suck Without You
Artist: Kelly Clarkson
Album: All I Ever Wanted (2009)

I'm pretty sure you're all smart enough to figure this one out...

It also doesn't hurt that I love me some Kelly Clarkson. Bucky knows what I'm talking about...

Happy Weekend People!

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10 Things I Learned This Week

Have no fear, Albert is here!

1. Fight! Magazine is Still Happening
Apparently, the holidays being busy makes Editors-in-Chief of major magazines forget about small-time whiny readers who are looking for work. After one email and a quick phone call, my parcel of back issues to correct are in the mail and I'll be getting started this week.

2. Loving - repeat LOVING - the New Gig
Started taking baby steps towards crossing over into Editor-dom myself this week and have to say that I love the process and look forward to February 1 when we go full throttle. It's going to be a lot of work and take some serious time and energy, but as I've been saying this whole writing ride, I'd rather put in big effort and big hours on stuff that I love and believe in than anything else.

3. Ari-freakin'-zona!
Can you believe the Arizona MF'in Cardinals might win the Super Bowl? This is insane. Not that they haven't played pretty damn good these playoffs, but at the start of the year you never would have picked the Cardinals. Even if you were Kurt Warner's crazy-ass wife. Now they're one win away from winning the whole shebang. Crazy...

4. Welcome to the White House, President Obama
The President-Elect drops the "Elect" in a couple of days and I am glad that I will be around to see it. This is truly a monumental and historic event that will be taking place, one that we'll be teaching in history books someday and it will be the only thing on in the bar on Tuesday with good reason.

5. Wedding Headaches Subsiding
This week has been more productive on the wedding front than the last four months and that is a testament to our new agent. All the invoices are done and proofed and ready to go and we should have everything and everyone lined up and ready to roll in the next three days. Funny how getting pissed a couple rungs up the ladder makes everything happen a little more quickly...

6. Luke is His Mother's Dog
They two of them could probably sleep for 24 hours straight if you let them. In fact, with Sarah being off all through the week this week, I'd wager that over the three days they're off together without me around, they get in at least 30 hours of sleep. Updates later in the week.

7. So the Old Man Called Me...
Just weird having my phone ring and it be him, seeing as the last three times we talked were at funerals and totally awkward interactions. I think I said six or eight words. So strange, so sad...

8. It's Already Been One Year
Thursday marks a year since Heath Ledger's death. That's crazy to me. I still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I found out - Wexford Street apartment, putting away the groceries after work. Funny how some things just stick in your head.

9. Wanted: One Good Book
With no Chapters to speak of in a 100 kilometre radius, I've been reduced to checking out a very small Coles in the crappy Cranbrook mall from time to time when I want something to read. Unsurprisingly, they got nothing... so I'm asking you folks to fill me in on some quality literature that I can go find and enjoy. Homework is due by the end of the week.
10. Joaquin Phoenix is a Rapper?
I knew he had "retired" from acting to pursue music, but hip hop? That would have been the last place I would have expected the man who brought Johnny Cash to life on the silver screen to end up. Punk, country, rock, sure... hip hop? I've gotta find his stuff somewhere on the 'net and give it a listen.

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Six of One, Half Dozen of the Other

When I was leaving work this evening, I told my supervisor that I would give her a call in the morning once the restaurant opened to see how busy we were and find out if she needed me to come in for my shift at noon.

Her face lit up; she was thrilled with my selfless act to help her keep labor costs down and provide an opportunity for my fellow servers to make a little money, so I let her roll with it.

Why am I really going to call tomorrow morning, besides not having to drag my ass down the hill in the rain? They're threefold.

1) Sarah is on nights tomorrow, so going to work all day would mean zero together time. While it's true that she's likely going to sleep all day regardless of my decision, the persistence of a certain pug will get her up at one point or another, so we could share a little breakfast during the afternoon if I stayed put.

2) Writing is way more enjoyable. Work is in a lull period now that the holidays are over and while I've still been pulling in a yard (read: $100) a shift in tips, it's been over five hours of work and that doesn't sound as pleasurable to me as sitting in this chair penning some pieces for The Love of Sports and getting another Soundtrack song up earlier for all of you to download.

3) Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. I don't care how much of a geek I sound like - and I know video games + Star Wars = Huge Geek - but there is something really fun about walking around massacring Stormtroopers and Imperials alike with Force Lightning that would be more fun on a Friday afternoon than serving four tables and standing around bored.

But hey, if my supervisor wants to think I'm just being a good guy, who am I to tell her otherwise?

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My Own Marley

Sarah and I decided to go see Marley & Me last night as we had been talking about it since first seeing the previews months ago and yesterday was the first chance we had since it's release.

Without giving away any of the movie to those who haven't seen it or read the book, you have to see it if you're a dog person and even if you're not it's good fun.

For us, they could have subbed out the adorable golden lab who portrayed Marley with a stubby little Jack Russell / Pug cross and it would have been like watching our life on a big screen... with Owen Wilson starring as me and Jen Aniston playing the role of Sarah.

Maybe it's all dogs (I doubt it though) but Cool Hand Luke sure does share a lot of similarities with the silver screen's Worst Dog in the World:

• A willingness to steal and chew just about anything
• The ability to eat and eat and eat and eat without stopping or getting full
• No regard for personal space
• A unique curiosity that only comes up when his parents are trying to get amorous

As much as we spent the entire movie laugh (and occasionally crying) about the similarities between Marley and the little butt-waggler we would be returning home to, nothing prepared us for the shining Marley moment we would walk into.

Note to Self: Never - I repeat - NEVER leave a garbage bag in the house with the dog.

We knew something was up when there was no barking as we keyed in the code on the door. We definitely knew Luke had done something wrong when he came out all sooky and cuddly; normally he's a big ball of energy.

Turn on the lights and VIOLA... garbage everywhere.

Coffee grinds mashed into the carpet with a little cranberry sauce on top.
Week old turkey devoured.
A quarter of an old ass Christmas fruitcake gone.

From the carnage, it honestly looked as if the little terror had eaten as much as he could and then crashed because he was just so full...

As angry as we were - especially considering this is the second such occurrence - walking into the mess after Marley & Me was the only way this dog didn't spend the night in his crate.

Instead, he got a nice long walk to poop out the garbage, a little scolding, some laughs when he wouldn't leave Sarah and I alone for "Grown Up Time" and his usual spot cuddled up between us on the bed for the night when it was time to go to sleep.

Why?

Because even though he's a little brat, he's our little brat and we wouldn't change him or trade him for the world.

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My Christmas Has Arrived!

UFC 92 takes place in Vegas tonight and I can't tell you how pumped I am about it, even though I won't be sitting in front of a TV screen watching it live.

As odd as this may sound, I've been waiting for this night for quite some time now, as there are a number of fights that I really want to see.

I want to see the Light Heavyweight Title match between Forrest Griffin and Rashad Evans.

I want to see "Rampage" Jackson returning to the ring to take on Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva for a third time. Hell, I even like a couple of the undercard fights a great deal.

But the fight I like the most is the battle for the UFC Interim Heavyweight Title, pitting The Ultimate Fighter Season 8 coaches Frank Mir and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira against each other. The reason I can't wait to see this fight? I hope "Minotauro" breaks something of Mir's...

Mir comes across as that guy who thinks he is the greatest at everything. He's the guy that always has the better story. You made a hole in one, he made two. D'you know what I mean?

So all through the buildup to this fight, Mir has been going on about how his ground game is better than Nogueira's and he's going to break his bones and blah blah blah blah blah. The best response - and most accurate one too - that I've heard to Mir's over-confidence came from Sarah the other night when we were watching the Countdown show on Spike:

He got run over by a truck and didn't break any bones!

In the words of Kurt Angle, "It's true, it's true!"

When Nogueira was a kid he got run over by a truck - it mangled some of his insides and left him in a coma for six days, but no bones were broken. Doctors didn't think he would be able to walk properly, yet alone be an athlete...

"Minotauro" has never been knocked out and he's never submitted to anyone. He's 34-4-1-1 in his career and those four defeats came at the hands of Fedor Emelianenko (twice), Josh Barnett and Dan Henderson. Mir is 3-2 in his five fights since returning from a horrific motorcycle accident and dropped a fight to the recently dropped (though re-signed now) Brandon Vera.

Some will say, "Well he beat Lesnar," referring to current UFC Heavyweight Champ Brock Lesnar and while it's a valid statement, Mir got totally bull rushed to open the fight and managed to get a leg when Lesnar got careless. While I doubt that would happen again if the two were to square off, I know Nogueira isn't going to make those kind of mistakes.

Bottom line: it's gonna be a helluva fight and a helluva card.

For a full preview of the card, check me out at The Love of Sports.

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The Rundown: 2009 Wish List

First of all - there is no referring to my future wife as "that broad in the hoodie," even if you're joking...

Secondly, for the couple people who're wondering exactly who Albert is, track back a couple Sunday's and tell me what constant you find on each 10 Things post...

Now that the general housekeeping is out of the way, onto today's business.

Somehow, 2008 is nearly over. It's been an insane year for me and one I will surely not forget. It was the year I got engaged and adopted a sidekick, my brother tied the knot and my writing improved by leaps and bounds, but it was also the year I lost my grandfather, my great uncle and a couple close friendships took serious hits too.

Thinking about the past, as it often does, got me to thinking about the future and the things that I want to see happen in 2009.

You won't find things about the wedding here, not because I don't have hopes for that day, but because I know everything is going to be wonderful...

Instead, you'll find... well... why don't you just scroll down and read them yourself?

Wish List 2009: Top Five Hopes for Next Year

5. Sarah Settles In
It's been a crazy eight months for my future wife. At the start of April, she was off to Labrador for her first work placement ever, then came engagement, more work, wedding headaches, a monstrous Nursing exam and then into the Working World. Top that off with relocating once again and it's been pretty turbulent and at times traumatic. But there are few people I know as strong and as talented as Sarah and I hope that 2009 brings some stability because the woman deserves it.

4. Johnny Domestic Become an Everyday Thing
There really is something calming and enjoyable about spending my days around the house. I get all the housework done, get to cook great meals (and bake delicious cakes and cookies!) plus hang out with my sidekick and write as much as I want. While I don't dislike my current job slinging drinks and taking orders on the Ski Hill, making a change to permanently being around the house post-wedding would be real nice...

3. Visitors Welcome!
The one thing that actually sucks about being out here is how far we are from our families. We both love the opportunities we've found out here and wouldn't change our decision to come here for anything (I think...) but we'd also love to see some familiar smiling faces out this way over the next twelve months. And the Dominican in April doesn't count either... you got to get yourself to Chateau Kyte here in Kimberley for it to be official. I mean, seriously, who doesn't want a vacation?

2. Sticking to Those Resolutions...
You know the ones I'm talking about. The same ones I'm always talking about. No smoking, eat right, exercise, blah blah blah blah blah. Some have gone better than others over the last few months, but really, they're all important and something I really want to work at. Honestly. Stop laughing. I'll show you...

1. Continued Growth of the Portfolio
This year brought me to The Love of Sports and Fight! Magazine, both incredible opportunities that I hope will continue to flourish in 2009. There are two other projects on the go that I have high hopes for as well; the first being my book idea that has once again taken a backseat to blogging and TLOS and everything else in life and the launch of the website Newt and I have been working at for the last bunch of months. It's starting to take shape and shouldn't be too much longer before we unveil it and my hopes are that having a centralize site for all my work presented in a professional way helps take me from writer who waits tables to pay the bills to writer who waits tables simply for the free golf all summer...

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Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Just a quick post today to wish the wife Happy Birthday...

Presents have been opened, we're having a little dinner at the house and relaxing together for the next few days including finally buying our couch so that we don't have to lounge around on the futon anymore.

The best present she got came from work - today starts seven days off in a row... and with the ski hill opening this weekend, maybe she'll have to dust off the ol' snowboard and get in a couple runs.

That's it for today though - Happy 26th Baby!

P.S. Sorry about yesterday - when you're as hungover as I was, thinking is far too taxing a task...

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10 Things I Learned This Week

1. The Kyte Family is One Person Bigger
I'd like to start off by welcoming Brooke Smith to the Freak Show on a full-time basis. On Tuesday afternoon in Vegas Baby Vegas, Brooke and my brother Peter were married. Congratulations to both my brother and my new sister-in-law!

2. It's Official
Sarah is officially a nurse! She passed her nurses exam (as if there was any doubt) and is now a part of the workforce 100%. Congratulations Baby... enjoy the next 40 years of work!

3. As A Present to Herself...
Sarah purchased an Xbox 360 with Guitar Hero World Tour and two guitars last night. That's the best present that I've ever received and it wasn't even for me! After five hours of button mashing madness last night, we finally shut things down around 1:00 AM due to exhaustion and freshly forming callouses.

4. Interestingly Enough...
I'm off Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week. I won't, however, be shredding on my guitar all day long. I'm starting the book Tuesday morning, in hopes of getting a good chunk of work done so that I can send a portion out for feedback and to gauge interest. After a couple months of making notes and scribbling in the idea book, it's time to get down to work.

5. Brock Lesnar: UFC Heavyweight Champion
Not only do I love Brock's win from a fan standpoint of watching the future of MMA at his beginning, but I love this win from a writing standpoint too. I've spent a lot of time writing about MMA lately and predicting this fight correctly - as I did in two pieces at The Love of Sports this week - shows that I know what I'm talking about. In fact, I got the four biggest fights on the card perfect including my man Demian Maia submitting Nate Quarrey.

6. Getting Closer to the Goal
An email this week from The Powers That Be at The Love of Sports has potentially brought me one step closer to my goal of being able to sustain myself solely through my writing. Basically, the more I write, the better chance I have at getting what I want is what it boils down to, so as much as I'd like to practice up on the video game axe during my downtime, time writing today is going to mean time staying home in the future, so Guitar Hero will have to wait.

7. Polygamy is Effin' Crazy!
Sarah is watching the TLC Forbidden Love special on polygamy and just overhearing some of the crap these chicks are saying is nuts. You have to be some kind of whack job to be okay with your husband having seven other wives. Could you imagine? "Hey Honey, I'ma marry this one too and we'll all live together. Tonight I'ma sleep with you, but tomorrow, I'ma sleep with her. Kay?" How does that make you feel loved?

8. I Should Have Kept Playing Baseball
Why did everyone just let me walk away at age 12 like I did? How come no one told me to keep playing, get better and make it to the Majors? The money these teams are throwing around free agents, even a no stick, no mitt, no wheels guy like me would be able to pull in a couple million a season...

9. This Is Where I'm Meant to Be
Now that we've been out here for a month, it's fair to say that the infatuation stage of things is over. That's why I know this area - or at least BC in general - is where I'm meant to be. Everything about the area still makes me smile - the snow-covered mountain peaks in the distance, the friendliness of everyone in town, the fresh air and peaceful surroundings. I never thought I would be able to live away from "The City," but it's really not hard at all. In fact, it's better.

10. One Month, Three Smokes
Not bad for a guy who has been smoking since he was sixteen if you ask me...

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10 Things I Learned This Week

Another week in the books. Time to find out what I figured out over the last seven days...

1. It's All The Same
After two weeks as a Kelsey's employee, this much I know for certain: it ain't no different than being a Montana's employee. Servers bitch about being slow and making no money, managers hide out in the office, guests are mediocre tippers and large groups think the world revolves around them. Actually, Montana's earns the victory because we never ran out of beer... or milk.

2. Mind-boggling Move
Our landlord came to collect his belongings this week and I'm at a loss for words. Granted, everything he took was his, but truthfully, a bunch of it made no sense at all. Left us the barbecue that comes with the condo, took the barbecue tools. Took the garbage cans from the bathroom, left the garbage on the floor for us to clean up. Took the deck of cards and cribbage board, left the instructional booklet for the complete rules of cribbage. Amazing!
3. Sarah & Spencer: Ghetto Fabulous
Right now, we're the height of Hobo Chic! Our dining room is made up of the outdoor furniture that doesn't need to collect snow on the balcony all winter, our living room consists of a futon and a rubbermaid bin turned table and our mattress rests all alone in our bedroom... on the floor... because we don't have a bed frame yet. Like I said, Ghetto Fabulous!
4. My Man D to the Rescue
I've made an instant friend at work. Dave, or My Man D, is about the same age as me, spent some time in The Hammer and is just an overall great dude. I thought this before he told me about all the household items he is ready to pack into his van and drive up to our condo for us so we don't have to remain Ghetto Fabulous. The deck furniture can go back on the deck, as he's got a kitchen table set we can use, the futon can move into the office where it's meant to go because he's offering up a couch and the small ass TV we're watching far too much of these days can go to hell because he's providing a 32" Sony Flatscreen for as long as we need too. I owe this man some beer...

5. Time to Press Reset
So, we're here and all the landlord's stuff is out. The interruptions and annoying things are done and over with, which means it's time to get settled and get started. Same as this summer, working at a restaurant affords me a great deal of time to spend here at this computer, so I need to get into the swing of things. I've been missing days left and right here (sorry...) and have really fallen off the Bugs wagon as of late and that isn't what I want. Since the newspaper here hasn't decided to get back to me (surprise surprise) focusing on the things I do have before me becomes even more important, starting today.

6. I've Got The Best Girl
How do I know? I came home from a crap afternoon at work yesterday, tired, frustrated, all that and what did she say?

"D'you wanna just take some time off and work on the book? They obviously don't really need you right now and if you get enough of it done, you could send it out to see what people think."

That made everything better, along with the homemade chilli and Okanagan Springs Pale Ale and reminded me that I really did luck out on this one. You're the best Baby!

7. Anything Can Happen Inside The Octagon
Just this week, two of my Top 10 Pound for Pound fighters were beaten. While word on the MMA Street is that "The Fireball Kid" Takanori Gomi was robbed of a decision in his fight in Japan, the undisputed best featherweight in the business Urijah Faber was knocked out cleanly by Mike Brown. This is why I love this sport.

8. Oh Right, We're Getting Married Soon
Not that we forgot, but amidst all the moving and unpacking and buying all the little things that you need everytime you move, we've gone a month without talking to our travel agent. Not that that's completely horrible, but apparently no one has gotten any information from her yet and seeing as the date is getting closer by the day, we're thinking she shoudl probably get on that. That means, tomorrow we get on her.

9. Speaking of Weddings...
I'd like to congratulate my brother Peter in advance for tying the knot on Tuesday to his fiancee Brooke Smith. They're off to Vegas for a week or wedding fun and Sarah and I are both bummed that we couldn't make the trip. I'm sure there'll be lots of pictures and we're getting to spend a week with them in the Dominican, so we'll celebrate again then.
10. Did I Mention History Was Made This Week?
YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

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The Rundown: What I'm Going to Do on My Summer Vacation

My Summer Vacation started today.

For the next two and a half weeks, I get to hang out uninterrupted with my beautiful fiancee both here and in British Columbia and I couldn't be happier. This is the first time all summer that we're getting a good sized chunk of time together without one of us having to rush off to work or having any familial obligations to look after.

What am I going to do?

Glad you asked...


Top Five Things I'm Looking Forward to on My Summer Vacation

5. Sleeping
Luke isn't making the trip West with us, which means there will be no dog walking us up at some early morning hour because he heard a door slam three blocks away. While I'm sure the time shift will take a day or two to get used to, chances are that I'll counteract that with enough booze to help me sleep like a baby.

4. Pints with Timothy
When Sarah's brother was here earlier in the summer, it was another one of those times where one of us (me) had to bail on the weekend full of activities to go to work. That meant that Tim and I got just our day at Wonderland to hang out. While it was a killer time and we certainly hit it off, nothing helps soon-to-be siblings-in-law bond better than a couple pints of Guinness.

3. Exploring the Lower Okanagan
The people Sarah has applied to out West already called her back, so instead of heading to Seattle during our first week, we're heading into Cranbrook and the surrounding area to check things out. Maybe we'll even do a little apartment hunting while we're there, who knows?

2. Writing
There are going to be a few days where Sarah has to go dress shopping and have Mummy-Daughter time, which means I get to kick back somewhere, break out the pen or laptop and work on my book. As much as I have been trying to cut back on some things and focus on it, life keeps getting in the way. So being out West with zero responsibilities and things to do will work wonders for my latest project... I hope.

1. Seeing Where My Baby Comes From
We've been to the places I grew up or at least a handful of them. This will be my first chance to see the places and people and experiences that shaped my future wife and while I'm sure some of you probably just threw up in your mouth a little, I don't care. I love how excited Sarah is to show me different places and that more than anything is what I am looking forward to.

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Soundtrack of My Life

Song: No One
Artist: Alicia Keys
Album: As I Am (2007)

Sarah already knows this, but just so the rest of y'all understand - I love Alicia Keys.

Like, there ain't many women in the world who rank higher than her. The list is pretty much Sarah, Diane Lane, Natalie Portman and P!nk. That's some pretty heady company right there...

As has been the case for a couple of previous Soundtrack pieces, I've decided to pick one song that most exemplifies all the things I love about the artist being featured. At least, when it comes to an artist the caliber of Alicia Keys, the honest truth is that there are a whole list of songs that I could use here without hesitation.

This one is extra special though for somewhat obvious reasons which are heightened this weekend.

Plain and simple, this is an old-fashion love song and with this being Engagement Party Weekend, nothing was more fitting than a song that expresses the thoughts I have for Sarah.

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's gonna to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all i know is everything's gonna to be alright

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel

Of course, the other kicker is that Ms. Keys is the talent tickling the ivories throughout this track and all the others that make up her albums.

Just to recap, she's an insane musician, pens solid lyrics and is crazy attractive. I honestly don't understand people who don't love Alicia Keys. With all the bullshit Pop Tarts out there today, here is a fierce young woman who does it herself and does it better than almost everyone else.

If you haven't listened to an entire Alicia Keys album yet, I suggest you do so. It doesn't matter which one you pick -they're all outstanding.

Just know that if you do, you're going to get hooked and end up listening to them over and over and over again.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

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10 Things I Learned This Week

It's been a strange and beautiful week, so let's get right to it, shall we?

1. Holy Shit I'm Outta Shape
If you've been here at all in the last seven days, you know this week was the kickoff of Operation: 185 and my foray into the Martin Rooney Training for Warriors program. Sweet merciful Christ I was sore on Tuesday and Wednesday. Turning the pages made me sweat, that's how out of shape I am. But so far, I've pushed through and haven't skipped a day yet.

2. I Don't Care for Brett Favre Anymore
D'you know who un-retires? My mom. Every May, she announces her retirement from the working world, spends the summer on the boat and then September rolls around and she's back looking for work. Both my mom and Brett Favre need to make a decision, one way or the other, and stick with it. This flip-flopping is just annoying.

3. Luke: Cool Hand, Iron Stomach
Not only is my dog indestructible like Matthew Good, but he can and will eat anything, literally. Except celery. Am I the only one who likes celery? This week, Luke has eaten half of his black blanket, a quarter of his white blanket, two pairs of socks (entirely), a bunch of rope and some newspapers. I'm torn between seeing what else the little trash compactor can eat and not wanting to be the guy that killed his dog by feeding him a pop can...

4. Garry Has a Girlfriend
I can't explain how beneficial it is to my life that my eventual father-in-law / current landlord has found himself a lady friend. Combined with his four day weekends every week between now and September, it means that the bulk of Garry's time will be spent in Midland. While I enjoy his company a great deal and we get along really well, we're too alike on too many things and that makes for random tension and no one needs that.

5. Welcome New Readers!
There is a possibility that some of the folks from Montana's will be stopping by this here site in the future and I figured I should welcome them to the fun. Anything to keep pumping those daily numbers - and my closely linked self-esteem - higher and higher.

6. Customers of the Week Update
I think karma kicked me in the ass last night at work, because after penning (keying??) yesterday's post on my awesome customers from earlier in the week, I had even more superstars last night. I got shutout again, had two tables of German traveler who I'm pretty sure thought the tip was included in the bill (read: I got peanuts from them too!) and someone complained about me for no real reason. At one point, I had delivered $110 worth of food and been rewarded with $1.00 in tips. Stupid karma...

7. Who'd Like to See a Movie I've Written?
Well it could be a possibility down the line as I began work this week on my submission for the Canadian Short Screenplay Competition. First prize is your movie getting made and some cash, but getting the movie made would be worth way more than any monetary sum. The deadline for submissions isn't until December, so this one is a long-term investment of time. As with everything, I'll keep you updated.

8. Polk-A-Roo Strikes Again!
So my friends Shelby and Mark have taken to calling Sarah Polk-A-Roo, since they have yet to meet her in the ten weeks that we've jointly resided in London. Then we found a perfect way to make it happen; we were going to join Shelby, Mark and her parents for dinner in Port Stanley before taking in the play she's directing that night. A really nice Thursday evening, I must say. Too bad Sarah can't go. Turns out this Thursday is the only day in the next two months where her "Four On, Five Off" Rotation at the hospital isn't in play. Damn that Polk-A-Roo!

9. Where Has The Year Gone?
It's July 13th.
When the fuck did that happen?
How have I been back in Ontario for three and a half months already?
The weeks honestly just fly by in a blur now...

10. Operation: 185 Update
When I started this last week, I weighed 204.
My current weight? 201.
It's been as low as 197.5 this week, but that was after a seven hour sweat-fest at Montana's with no dinner. Regardless, three pounds in the first week is pretty solid and very encouraging.

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