Showing posts with label Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2008

10 Things I Learned This Week

1. You Can Call Me a Liar If You Like...
But you'd be dead wrong because I ain't smoked since our plane touched down here in BC. Not one dart, not even for my birthday or anything. In fact, I've even turned down smokes while at work this week. Yeah, I'm patting myself on the back again...

2. Slow Doesn't Quite Cover It
I'm pretty sure that we would be okay at work with just one person, that's how quiet things are up this way right now. I'm on days and days are generally quiet this time of year, but having four people on shift to cover four tables over the "Lunch Rush" is pretty silly. That being said, I rocked two hours solo today and finally made a little money.

3. I'm Not The Same Spencer
It's funny how many people imagine that I'm the same alcoholic retard they knew during university even though that was a long time ago now. Lots of people expected me to be going out and getting blackout drunk, even though I know exactly three people in this town.

4. Johnny Domestic is Coming
Slowly but surely, my alter ego Johnny Domestic is starting to make his mark out here. Vacuuming, dishes, laundry, dog-walking - I do it all. And let us not forget cooking because that's actually where I'm at my best. Two years from now, Johnny Domestic will have taken over...

5. Zack & Miri
Rolled into Cranbrook last night to catch Kevin Smith's latest and were not disappointed. Without spoiling anything, I'll say there were a bunch of laughs and Craig Robinson needs to be in more movies because he was awesome. So was Tisha Campbell-Martin who used to be Gina on Martin back in the day. Weirdest part of the flick - Jason Mewes. Dude looks so different now that he's off the junk. That and he's pretty close to naked for most of the movie, so that there's that too.

6. Two Days Until History is Made
On Tuesday night, the course of history will forever be changed and I am so excited about it. Barring something insane happening, Barack Obama will win the US Presidential Election and we'll witness the first black President of the United States. Expect something later on in the week about this and why I think it is so important to us as a people and a culture, regardless of where we live.

7. Stuff is Expensive
It's easy to plan and budget for big things, the items you know for sure you're going to need. That part is simple. What you never think about is all those stupid little things that you take for granted because they've just been around forever. That stuff adds up. We've spent more money on little things like that in the last two weeks than we have on furniture, entertainment and dining out combined. Stupid can opener and cheese grater...

8. Two, Maybe Three Days Tops
If everything goes according to Hoyle, the landlord will have all his things out of here by Wednesday night at the latest. That means all the boxes that are piled up in front of the window will get unpacked, the new desk (my new desk) will get assembled and my computer - my precious, precious computer - will be back up and running before the weekend. As much as we're going to look super ghetto for the next little while - what with one futon and a foam mattress on the floor being our only furniture - at least it will all be ours and we can start building.

9. Welcome Back Basketball!
Nice to see the NBA back in business and even nicer to see the Raptors out to a 3-0 start thus far. Chris Bosh is playing like a man possessed out of the gate and I truly believe that a healthy Jermaine O'Neal makes the Raps a legit contender in the East.

10. Withdraw Symptoms
I don't know what I'm going to do. There isn't a Chapters even remotely close to us. There's Starbucks and I wasted a great deal of time there on Monday waiting for Sarah to finish work, but it's no where near the same. The only bookstore I've seen so far is a tiny little Coles in "The Mall" which is better described as a shopping center. Malls have lots of stores that you want to buy things in; the biggest store in this "mall" is Zellers.

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Silent Bob Returns!

I've already mentioned it briefly in 10 Things last Sunday, but the truth is that this flick is in need of a full day's dose of recognition.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno marks the return of Kevin Smith to the big screen for the first time since Clerks 2, at least in the director's chair. While he's dabbled in acting (Catch & Release) and done some television work (Reaper), behind the camera of his own film is where those of us who love him first fell in love.

There are a lot of things about this movie that I am really geared up to see.

First, it's Kevin Smith, so you know there is going to be the smart-assed, sarcastic, off-colour comedy you come to expect from Silent Bob. I mean, lest we forget this is the man who penned the line, "My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks" for his cinematic debut.

Second, Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks sound like a winning combination for me. While I am always worried that the Funny Guy of the Moment is going to crash and burn when we least expect it, I'm leaning more towards a future project being Rogan's shark-jumping experience. And Banks, the book store girl from 40-Year-Old Virgin amongst numerous other things, is absolutely hilarious. I mean, she asks him to rinse her hair with poop water in the trailer.

The third one is a serious fanboy interest.

Zack & Miri marks only the second time that Kevin Smith has gone without his alter ego and pot smoking partner in crime Jay in a movie. While Mewes still has a role, it's as a character more so than the "just play yourself" role of Jay he has become known for. The first time he tried this, 2004's Jersey Girl, Smith was met with not so warm reviews to say the least.

While I still stand by the fact that Jersey Girl isn't as bad as everyone thinks - it's got Carlin in it... how bad can it be? - I'm willing to acknowledge that having a serious success outside of the Jay & Silent Bob is of the utmost important for Smith and his credibility in the industry and with the audience as a whole.

Personally, I think Zack & Miri will be that movie.

He's sticking to what he knows best (comedy), has a solid cast with a bankable lead and a premise that isn't all that unbelievable while still being exceptionally funny. I mean seriously, tell me the thought of getting into porn hasn't crossed your mind once or twice before? They make great money... or have sex with a lot of skanky bitches!

Regardless of whether you've considered porn as a profession or not, if you're a fan of Kevin Smith and his movies, the long wait for his triumphant return is just about over.

If you're not a fan, stop coming here.

(Just kidding... but really, why don't you like him? Fat boy is funny!)

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