Thursday, December 20, 2007

Dishonour Roll: The Spears Family

Seriously, this is just too easy. The jokes almost write themselves. God love families like this and the ridiculous society we live in that has thrust the daily happenings of these good folks from Kentwood, LA into our lives.
We know all about Britney; for the sake of keeping the reading quick and easy, I'll simply say this:

When Kevin Federline is the good parent, you've got some serious issues. Right now - post VMA's - he also may be the better performer, which is a definite sign that the apocolypes is coming.

Now for the real good stuff.

Brit's Lil' Sis Jamie Lynn, who has her own show on Disney and is sort of a less liked version of Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus, announced to UK tabloid OK! that she is pregnant...

She's 16!

I'm no idiot and I know this stuff happens all the time and blah, blah, blah, but sweet merciful jebus wouldn't you think that this kid would take a look at what a train wreck her sister is and do everything imaginable to ensure she doesn't get knocked up?

Don't even start with the "accidents happen" and the only way to be 100% safe is to abstain mumbo-jumbo either; I've yet to meet anyone who got pregnant from swallowing, not to mention sundry other adult film options I won't get into at this time.

D'you know what makes it all even better? The cherry on top of the Britney / Jamie Lynn sundae?

Their mother was planning a parenting book!

Honestly - how does this happen? Who makes these decisions?

Unless the book was going to be called "I Raised'em Right and They Still Fucked Up" by Lynne Spears, this shouldn't have even been an option. Unless, of course, it was meant all along as a joke, but I know that wasn't the case.

Best of all was the "After the news of her 16-year-old daughter's pregnancy, plans for the Lynne Spears parenting book that she was working on have been put on hold."

D'you think?!

I never thought a family could out crazy the Lohans, but my god, the Spears Clan has gone and done it!

Someone needs to make this into a weekly TV show - Lohan's vs. Spears' : Crazy in Life. Sad thing is, I'm almost certain someone has probably suggested it at one point or another...

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