Things I Learned This Week

1. What Time is It? Time to Get My Drank On!
This has been the most outstanding weekend in a long, long time and not just because we've all been various stages of hammered over the last 36 hours.

Whenever you ask Michelle what she wants to do, here response is "Get My Drank On!" and that is awesome. Despite the fact that it's narly 4:00 pm and the day hasn't really started yet due to last night's festivities, my suggestion that alcohol intake probably wouldn't happen to night was met with a resounding, "What?"

Expect drunken status updates on Facebook later.

2. The Dog Likes Advil
Don't worry, this is not information we found out while intoxified or anything like that. We did not feed the dog pain medicine.

He stole the bottle. Noisy, rattling things amuse him. Noisy, rattling things amusing him amuses all of us.

This is what happens when you've been getting your drank on for the better part of two days.

3. Deuce Answers the Phone at All Hours
My man Deuce lives in Newfoundland, three and a half hours ahead of us here in Kimberley. Despite this fact - which we were acutely aware of early this morning - we decided we missed him enough to call and tell him.

Five minutes after leaving our message, a surprisingly awake Deuce returned our call, laughing at the ridiculousness that is drunken Sarah, Michelle and Spencer.

Tim was passed out already by this point. We called Deuce because my clippers died right when we were preparing to shave comatosed Tim's legs...

4. eHarmony Isn't For Everyone
Believe it or not, you can be turned down by eHarmony. How miserable would that make you feel?

The fact that the process of joining eHarmony is very, very labor-intensive (I started yesterday after hearing the story and seeing their adds for a free communication weekend... and yes, my wife knew I was doing so) would just make this even more depressing.

You go through 487 questions and come up with, "Sorry, you're too picky and we don't have a single person who is compatible with you."

Yikes.

5. Getting Some Serious Readership
In non-boozy weekend news, this week has yielded a couple more syndication opportunities for my work at Keyboard Kimura, upping the number of readers I get per day and increasing my exposure even more.

What makes it even better is that neither offer came through the usual means (read: me begging someone to carry my work). Instead, they approached me and being the attention whore that I am, I said yes really quickly and patted myself on the back.

Slowly but surely, we're getting out there and going to be taking over the MMA world...

6. And Still Reigning Scrabble Champion...
Prior to getting mangled last night, we rocked a four-way game of Scrabble, which the wife was running away with.

That is, until I dropped "HISTORY" on the board with my last seven letters, landing on a double word score in addition to collecting my 50 bonus points.

You're winner and still reigning Scrabble Champion of the World...

P.S. I went undefeated in games last night, as Tim and I also won Cranium and he "lost" at very drunken game of Bullshit.

I'm out... time to get our drank on!

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The Rundown: Dominican Delights

Hola!

Back on the scene, married and re-energized to write like a madman after nearly three weeks away from the computer and communicating with the masses through this here blog.

A much longer, much more detailed account of the trip will be coming in the next couple days - and the pictures will be coming to Facebook sometime soon too - but seeing as it's Wednesday, I figured why not recap five of my favorite memories from our travels.

And yes, that is our main pool... so awesome!

Top Five Dominican Moments

5. The Rainstorm
Tuesday afternoon, the clouds were rolling in and the waves were getting higher. Everyone else cleared out of the ocean. Deuce, Bucky, Sarah, Tim, Michelle, Jena and I stayed put and had the best afternoon of the trip. I mean, we're already wet, so what's wrong with a little more rain, right?

4. Jena's Fire Face
When Dominican bartenders light shit on fire, stay away. I should have known better, as fire shots through a straw are never a good idea and they're even worse when they involve 151 Proof rum that tastes like gasoline. I got one taste of the diesel and had the barf reflex activate. Jena, on the other hand, down most of her shot with straw, then picked up the scalding shot glass, put it to her lips and had the last remaining drops of booze ignite all around her face. No injuries makes this story awesome!

3. Negotiating 101 with Lance Doucette
Just plain awesome. Deuce doesn't smoke and can barely keep a cigar lit for longer than two minutes, which makes this all the more entertaining. Nothing like spending an hour smoking a man's products - for free - and trying to rake him over the coals for every last penny when you're already getting what sounds like a pretty good deal.

(Original quoted price: 325 a box. Bucky paid 180 twenty minutes earlier...)

Merchant: Gimme 165.
Deuce: 162... yeah, I'll go there.

Priceless. Turns out the boys got hosed, but still...

2. Starting Out with a Bang!
So the boys got loaded right off the plane. Rules stipulated that a Do Not Disturb sign on the door meant stay out. Too bad neither of them actually put it on the door. Deuce literally crashed at Jena's (about 24 hours after meeting her... awkward...) while Bucky slept by the pool under lounge cushions until about 2 AM when he figured out their room was totally empty. Just plain epic.

1. Seeing Sarah for the First Time on Thursday
You'll see the pictures later and the whole event was awesome, but the image of my wife coming down the stairs looking radiant will forever be etched in my memory.

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