Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dishonor Roll: Popular Music


Let me make this clear: there are outstanding bands and musicians out there who I love and could listen to for hours on end.

You know this, of course, seeing as I don't have much trouble coming up with a Soundtrack song every Friday.

That being said, the current state of Pop Music is absolutely atrocious and yes, that includes my man Kanye!

Let's start with Mr. West, shall we?

One of the best MCs to come along in some time, Kanye has given up delivering descriptive lyrics and telling stories over tight beats to hook up an auto-tuner and record 808's and Heartbreak, an album of "him" singing. I say "him" because, well, it's not actually him. It's the auto-tuned version of him and it's craptacular.

Which transitions beautifully into Ms. Britney Spears, making her third appearance on the Dishonor Roll. Not one to shy away from letting a computer "enhance" her vocal abilities, Brit-Brit gets lumped into this angry rant against current songs in heavy rotation for the lovely little ditty "If You Seek Amy" and it's touching lyrics.

All of the boys and all of the girls are dying to if you seek Amy.

For those who are missing what the ever-so-crafty former Mrs. Federline is saying, here's that last part phonetically: F-U-C-K me.

Classy.

Then there is Akon.

I've actually seen Akon in concert; he performed at this tight show I went to in England for the Prince's Trust. He happened to be on the bill, while I was there for Common, De La Soul, The Streets and Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince.

Anyway, even in those early days, everything Akon put out sounded the same. "Living in the Ghetto" sounded a lot like "Locked Up" and the pattern has continued throughout his discography. There is absolutely nothing unique about his current single "Beautiful" to distinguish it from any other Akon song, so what gives?

Of course, I've already covered my current least favorite artist Lady Gaga, so I won't go into that any further, other than to say that I hope her and her poker face fall off the face of the Earth sometime soon.

Find the good music people... it's out there. You might have to look harder, but it's out there and so much more enjoyable!

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