10 Things I Learned This Week

Sorry to have withheld your Sunday staple from you all yesterday, but there is no way to hammer out a post while driving from Ottawa to London. Well, there is, but there was no way that I was going to try to attempt it. Besides, it was the first week of the football season, so I'm sure you had much better things to do...

1. Cranbrook is now 85%
Sarah has a phone interview sometime in the next two days and the recruiter she has been dealing with is all about ensuring she's still interested, as if her desires had waned in the last three days or something. With that being said, our trip out to Cranbrook once we land on Wednesday - another 10 hour journey - could be about finding a place to live and where I can sling some suds as much as it will be about seeing the hospital.

2. Piling Up the Kilometers
For my American readers, kilometers are just like miles, only shorter and we've been racking them up with no end in sight as of right now. We figured this out yesterday during our drive home - from Friday to Friday we'll have put 1,700 on our car this weekend, flown from London to Vancouver and then driven another 2,000 or so to and from Cranbrook. I wish there was such a thing as Road Miles because we'd be collecting them like mad.

3. Pug-less
I never thought I would miss being wrestled from my sleep at 7:30 AM by barking or having half of my bed taken over by a possessive pooch, but since we dropped off Luke at Mable and Dennis' on Thursday, all I've done is miss the little yappy bastard. He's better off out in Damascus on the farm where he can roam around freely and hang out with the other dogs instead of shipping back and forth and staying solo here in his pen, but that means more than two weeks sans Cool Hand and while I enjoy not having my socks chewed to shreds, I still miss my little man.

4. Politicians Don't Like Me
Mostly because I tell them things they don't like to hear. The wedding we were at this weekend was of two politically involved individuals with lots of politician friends. We shared a couple drinks with two of them prior to heading to the reception. During their discussing of Barack Obama and John McCain, I sipped my Guinness and calmly stated that a lot of people don't really care about these two candidates policies and plans and would rather look to a rockstar candidate like Obama to get them to the polls. That effectively ended the conversation. Truth hurts I guess.

5. Speaking of Canadian Politics...
We're heading to the polls again in only 6 short weeks! So many things wrong with this that I don't want to spend too much time on it, but it's always great when everyone acknowledges that we're sure to have another Minority Government and we're given only 42 days to decide who the best people are to represent our country. This again is why Canadian Politics is a joke...

6. Weird Wedding
Everything about Saturday was a little weird. From the MC welcoming the Member of Parliament who was in attendance before acknowledging anyone else in the room to the family of the newly wedded couple joining forces as a jazz trio to entertain the masses, this wedding was left of centre in my books. Instead of wedding favours for all those who came to share in the day, the couple kindly donated to the Ottawa Humaine Society on our behalf. And apparently "buffett dinner" in Ottawa means "serve yourself but you only get one trip to the line before the staff remove all the food." No wedding cake either - just cupcakes. Strange...

7. Speaking of Weddings...
My brother very well could be getting married this coming November. In Vegas. By Elvis. Of course, plans and timelines with my brother change as often as the weather, so this could turn into a Spring Backyard Wedding in the next couple of days too.

8. What Are You Going To Do?
That was everyone's immediate question this weekend when we informed them that Cranbrook was most likely going to be out final destination. Uh, the same things I do here maybe? Wait - they do have restaurants in BC right? And people drink beer? It's not like I'm a Nuclear Physicist and need a high tech lab to operate in; I'm a freelance writer who does the restaurant thing on the side. I can literally work anywhere in the world without much worry. Apparently no one else understands that.

9. Try, Try Again
Since I won't be able to smoke in BC - not because I'm not allowed, but because it will be far too much of a hassle to enjoy a smoke - I'm hanging up the habit for the next two weeks plus and seeing where things go from there. I know I've done this before and whatever whatever, but hey, at least I'm trying again right?

10. Operation: 185 Update
The powers that be have put Operation: 185 on hold until further notice. They acknowledge that there is little time presently to put my body through the work required to drop the 17 extra pounds I am currently carrying and will make an announcement prior to the relaunch of the program.

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The Picture Says It All

My cup runneth over.

As of right now, I have way too many things on the go and not enough hours in the day to accomplish them all, which means some things are going to start failing by the wayside for the next six weeks or so.

Bugs isn't going anywhere. They gave me my start and I will stick with them come hell or high water. Besides, the Jays season ending is where I got the six weeks from, so after that, baseball takes a spot on the back burner a little.

This bad boy right here isn't going anywhere either. How could I spend nearly a year putting in work to build a readership (thanks all 8 of you!) and then shut it down? Not going to happen.

Since I can't walk into my manager's office at Montana's, pull an Ed Norton in Fight Club and get paid to not show up at work, ditching delivering dinners is out of the question as well. Actually, it's a big part of the reason my beverage container is overflowing. I've working six days a week, closing three of those nights and a man has got to sleep sometime...

Where does that leave us?

I've already pretty much stopped writing at Epic Carnival over the last month. I can't tell you when I last posted there. In fact, I had made this decision long before my drinking glass couldn't hold any more theoretical liquid.

The thing with Epic is that it's a Boobs & Babes site - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with - except that Boobs & Babes isn't what I do. Call me ridiculous, but I want people reading my work because I have something interesting and insightful (or scandalous and off-kilter) to say about the topic, not because I have a picture of some tart in her bra and panties.

Unfortunately, bras and panties generate a lot more hits that witty banter and actually having something to say...

In the end, it looks like Season Three of The Wire is what is going to suffer the most.

Even though I just picked it up yesterday and am dying to tear into the next batch of episodes to see what's happening with everyone, the DVD player is going to have to stay off.

Either that or I give up working out.

"Fat guy on the beach who has watched every episode of The Wire" or "Guy with the toned physique who doesn't know what has been happening with The Barksdale Organization" come April?

Decisions, decisions...

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10 Things I Learned This Week

Without exaggeration, this has been an insane week. Good things, bad things and altogether surreal things make up the countdown - delayed because life invariably happened yesterday - so let's get right to it.

1. We Helped a Man Who Tried To Kill Himself
On our way to do some running around, there was a man laying on the ground in obvious pain, people beginning to crowd around him. Being a nurse (and wonderful human being) Sarah pulled into the parking lot to help. I called 911 while she did her thing. Turns out, the man tried to hang himself from his third floor balcony and the cord snapped. No major injuries and words don't describe how proud I am of my future wife, but I still can't shake the images from my head.

2. Wedding Date Confirmed
I am pleased to announce that we are officially getting hitched in the Dominican next April. The 23rd to be exact. That means I have less than 8 months of freedom remaining.... Invites are on the way.

3. BC is Back in the Picture
When we set out for BC in a couple weeks, there will be a couple new stops added to the itinerary. We're going to slide through the Lower Okanagan Valley. Sarah applied for some jobs out there because it never hurts to apply and with the benefits that BC offers (more money, student loan relief) moving to the West Coast is gaining a little momentum.

4. Just Wondering
Why do people who have places to be and time lines to maintain go out to eat at busy restaurants during the busiest times? I know it shouldn't take 40 minutes for you to eat, but sometimes it does and that's not our fault. This message has been brought to you by the staff at Montana's. Welcome to the Cookhouse!

5. Grand Bend Made Me Feel Old
I hadn't been to Grand Bend since I was 12 or 13 and we hit the South-Western Ontario Beach Town this week and one thing was abundently clear - it's a young persons destination. Not that there weren't people my age and older, but all of us looked out of place, what with the facial hair and flabby physiques... and that was just the women - ZING! I'm here all night folks...

6. Cool Hand Luke now known as Captain Annoying
I don't know what it is, but the little monster has been barking up a storm all week. Every little sound sets him off on a barking fit and there is nothing - aside from taking him for a W-A-L-K every ten minutes - that can stop him. Car door closes? Bark. Train goes by out back? Bark. Someone three doors down sneezes? You got it... Bark!

7. Off To Best Buy
Finished Season Two fo The Wire yesterday night after a long shift slinging drinks and I'm itching to get the remaining three seasons. I can't stress this enough - find a way to watch this show. Hell, email me and tell me you want to borrow the seasons - I'll send them to you. It's that damn good.

8. Still No TV
The Olympics came and went and I watched exactly zero hours of coverage here at the house. We're still without our television. I caught some key moments on the big screens at work, including Usain Bolt killing'em all on the track not once, not twice but thrice (Thank you, Monty Burns) and Michael Phelps being superhuman. Can't really say I miss the stupid thing to be honest.

9. I Can't Wait to Move
Not that I am desperate to get out of London or anything like that, but everywhere I go, all I can do is see things that I want for our next place. I think about how to set up my office - because no matter where we land, I will have my own office - and the colours we're going to use. What furniture we'll need and now that we have an abundance of picture frames from the EP last weekend, how to organize those has become a thinking point as well.

10. Operation: 185 Update
Starting Weight: 204 lbs.
Last Update: 198.5 lbs. (two weeks ago...)
Current Weight: 198 lbs.

Here is the crazy thing about this: I haven't actually worked out in the last ten days - for various reasons - and there has been a lot of eating out and boozing over that time frame and still I've managed to drop a Double Quarter Pounder! Workout resumes today; eight months less a couple days to drop 13 pounds... even I should be able to manage that.

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10 Things I Learned This Week

It's been a strange and beautiful week, so let's get right to it, shall we?

1. Holy Shit I'm Outta Shape
If you've been here at all in the last seven days, you know this week was the kickoff of Operation: 185 and my foray into the Martin Rooney Training for Warriors program. Sweet merciful Christ I was sore on Tuesday and Wednesday. Turning the pages made me sweat, that's how out of shape I am. But so far, I've pushed through and haven't skipped a day yet.

2. I Don't Care for Brett Favre Anymore
D'you know who un-retires? My mom. Every May, she announces her retirement from the working world, spends the summer on the boat and then September rolls around and she's back looking for work. Both my mom and Brett Favre need to make a decision, one way or the other, and stick with it. This flip-flopping is just annoying.

3. Luke: Cool Hand, Iron Stomach
Not only is my dog indestructible like Matthew Good, but he can and will eat anything, literally. Except celery. Am I the only one who likes celery? This week, Luke has eaten half of his black blanket, a quarter of his white blanket, two pairs of socks (entirely), a bunch of rope and some newspapers. I'm torn between seeing what else the little trash compactor can eat and not wanting to be the guy that killed his dog by feeding him a pop can...

4. Garry Has a Girlfriend
I can't explain how beneficial it is to my life that my eventual father-in-law / current landlord has found himself a lady friend. Combined with his four day weekends every week between now and September, it means that the bulk of Garry's time will be spent in Midland. While I enjoy his company a great deal and we get along really well, we're too alike on too many things and that makes for random tension and no one needs that.

5. Welcome New Readers!
There is a possibility that some of the folks from Montana's will be stopping by this here site in the future and I figured I should welcome them to the fun. Anything to keep pumping those daily numbers - and my closely linked self-esteem - higher and higher.

6. Customers of the Week Update
I think karma kicked me in the ass last night at work, because after penning (keying??) yesterday's post on my awesome customers from earlier in the week, I had even more superstars last night. I got shutout again, had two tables of German traveler who I'm pretty sure thought the tip was included in the bill (read: I got peanuts from them too!) and someone complained about me for no real reason. At one point, I had delivered $110 worth of food and been rewarded with $1.00 in tips. Stupid karma...

7. Who'd Like to See a Movie I've Written?
Well it could be a possibility down the line as I began work this week on my submission for the Canadian Short Screenplay Competition. First prize is your movie getting made and some cash, but getting the movie made would be worth way more than any monetary sum. The deadline for submissions isn't until December, so this one is a long-term investment of time. As with everything, I'll keep you updated.

8. Polk-A-Roo Strikes Again!
So my friends Shelby and Mark have taken to calling Sarah Polk-A-Roo, since they have yet to meet her in the ten weeks that we've jointly resided in London. Then we found a perfect way to make it happen; we were going to join Shelby, Mark and her parents for dinner in Port Stanley before taking in the play she's directing that night. A really nice Thursday evening, I must say. Too bad Sarah can't go. Turns out this Thursday is the only day in the next two months where her "Four On, Five Off" Rotation at the hospital isn't in play. Damn that Polk-A-Roo!

9. Where Has The Year Gone?
It's July 13th.
When the fuck did that happen?
How have I been back in Ontario for three and a half months already?
The weeks honestly just fly by in a blur now...

10. Operation: 185 Update
When I started this last week, I weighed 204.
My current weight? 201.
It's been as low as 197.5 this week, but that was after a seven hour sweat-fest at Montana's with no dinner. Regardless, three pounds in the first week is pretty solid and very encouraging.

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