What's in a Name?

You can dress up a job title or award to sound better than it actually is pretty easily.

Subway has Sandwich Artists. I once convinced everyone that I spent my summers working construction as a Site Delivery Liaison Technician, a title I invented to avoid telling people I was a go-fer.

That being said, there is one title that cannot be saved - The Biggest Loser.

Think it through for a minute or two. We all know that it comes from the television weight loss show, but is there a more unfortunate moniker around that being crowned The Biggest Loser? I think not.

Unless you're going to preface everything you say with, "So I was on that weight-loss show and I won," you're stuck answering every single person who stops you and asks, "Where do I know you from?" with, "I'm the biggest loser."

No matter how you follow-up, you immediate image conjured up in the minds of everyone who hears those words is the academically-apt gentleman pictured at the opening of this post. Actually, the real "biggest loser" is probably a little south of the guy pictured; hair a little messier, glasses a little more broken, nice set of braces and an unironic Care Bears t-shirt sounds about right.

I'm no physical specimen; I could certainly stand to lose a couple lbs and my lazy ass could really benefit from spending a little more time exercising and a little less time thinking about stuff like this, but I tell you one place you'd never find me.

On a show that awards me for winning by branding me in front of thousands - if not millions of people - The Biggest Loser.

I'll stick to being a little chubby and marginally cool, thanks.