The Rundown: Busier Than the Prettiest Hooker on 2-for-1 Tuesdays!

Pictured is Ms. Julia Roberts who once played the prettiest hooker on film opposite Richard Gere in Pretty Woman.

No, this isn't a post about Pretty Woman, though I could certainly tell you everything there is to know about the flick as it is easily one of my mom's all-time favorites and was a sick day from school staple growing up.

This is, however, a breakdown of all the things going on in life right now that have me running ragged and working at a fevered pace.

From interviews with fighters and MMA personalities to shifts at the restaurant and planning our next move, this week has me feeling busier than the prettiest hooker on 2-for-1 Tuesdays and I thought I'd share that with you.

You're welcome.

spanFive Things Keeping Me Busier Than Humanly Possible

5. Moving to Victoria
It's official: we're relocating again, heading off to Victoria next month to try again in another town.

Things just haven't worked out here the way we wanted and Victoria offers a better collection of the things we're looking for both in life and work, so we're packing up and shipping off once again.

Between now and then we've got to find a place to live, find me a job, pack up this place and arrange for all our stuff to get out there. Unfortunately, working on most of those things will have to wait until next week.

4. Harassing People to Give Me a Job
Maybe harassing isn't the right word; begging might fit, but I try to keep the emails and letters free from any usage of the word please with more than one e.

Jokes aside, this move is a chance for me to really break into things on the MMA front if someone is willing to take a chance, as both Victoria and Vancouver have outstanding newspapers with quality websites in need of some MMA coverage.

And I want to be that guy...

3. Writing
This one should be pretty damn obvious.

I know what you're thinking: how hard is it to write two mediocre "blogs" per day? Well, for starters, nothing that goes up at Keyboard Kimura is mediocre; Sports Illustrated doesn't carry mediocre and they're becoming fans of carrying K2 material.

Additionally, when you're trying to make this your career - not necessarily this particular brand of writing here, but you know what I mean - it's more than just sitting down and smashing out random thoughts.

Plus, next week gets even crazier with two fight cards to preview in addition to the everyday routine.

2. Transcription
Easily my least favorite part of what I'm doing right now.

I need one of those computers or programs that has voice recognition and can take what I've recorded from various interviews and convert it into text for me, because I hate trying to do it myself.

Fifteen minute interviews take an hour to transcribe with all the starting and stopping, Google every sponsor and coach mentioned to make sure you spell their name right and so on and so forth.

My birthday is coming up quickly people - someone feel free to buy me that software.

1. Interviews
Now we come to what is clearly my favorite part of what keeps me busy these days.

In addition to the outstanding interviews I've already churned out, I've got a bunch on the horizon, including having completed two today; one with Ryan Loco and one with Ultimate Fighter Season 10 contestant Matt Mitrione.

Still to come are Cole Miller, Sam Stout, New Jersey Athletic Commission Board member Nick Lembo and potentially a couple more TUF 10 contestants.

What makes it even more enjoyable is that the goofy, awkward Spencer who first interviewed Cabral Richards is long gone, replaced by a seasoned vet with a great mix of intelligent, though-provoking questions and straight up nonsense.

The forthcoming Ryan Loco interview (tomorrow or Friday on Keyboard Kimura) is the most ridiculous thing I've ever done, and I mean that in the best way possible.

With all this in mind, sorry if I don't reply to emails, answer you on MSN, have time to chat on Facebook or pick up the phone.

Chances are I'm already on it, either talking to a fighter, trying to get a job or ordering a pizza because I'm too damn busy to cook!

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Things I Learned This Week

1. 24 Hours Just Isn't Enough
Sleep surely takes up anywhere from four to nine of those hours. Usually it's somewhere in the middle, like six. 18 hours left to my own devices may sound like plenty of time, but really, it's not enough. Not when you drop in a shift at work - anywhere from two to seven hours - and time doing domestic duties like washing the dishes, preparing meals and spending quality time with The Missus.

A day like today is the perfect example. Sarah's at work, which means dinner is on me. Additionally, I have a ton of writing to do, but a shift opening the bar also beckons, a shift that quite frequently turns into getting home six hours after I left. Mix in walking the dog before and after work and I'm left with a two or three hour window at best to get my work done.

Bottom line: I need another two or three hours in the day ... or someone to pay me to write so I don't have to go to work any more.

2. I Have Limited Abilities at Predicting the Future
Unfortunately, they're limited to knowing when certain people won't show up for work, not anything useful like lottery numbers or what the next big money-making invention the world will stupidly scoop up in massive quantities like the ShamWow is going to be.

Thankfully, I'm smart enough to use this gift to my benefit, getting out in front of the call-ins I know will happen to ensure that my phone doesn't ring as the desperate scramble to cover the vacated shift goes down.

3. Fedor to the UFC Isn't Happening
Honestly, this one really bummed me out for a couple days.

You would think that with the demise of Affliction, the UFC would be a slam dunk for the dominant Russian heavyweight; the organization with the deepest pockets and best collection of fighters to challenge the man on an eight-year winning streak.

Not so much. Too many hurdles and too much animosity and mistrust between all the parties have led to Fedor remaining a pseudo-free agent and the UFC all but washing their hands of trying to lure him into the fold.

This is precisely why I refuse to recognize him as the best Pound-for-Pound fighter on the planet: he doesn't really want to fight the best guys out there.

4. How Do You Not See This?
Read an article in this month's GQ about a Wisconsin high school student who convinced the boys in his school he was a girl over Facebook and got them to send him intimate snapshots if you will, only to turn around and use said pictures to blackmail them into having various relations with him.

The article is outstanding, right up until the moral outrage of the parents and the shocking reaction they have to the lack of trauma this has caused "the victims." I use quotes not to diminish the situation, but how much of a victim are you if you're the one snapping the self-portraits and sending them off to random "girls" over Facebook?

Open your eyes parents: these aren't your childhood years! Your 13-year-old knows more about sex now than you did at 21 and there is at least a 50/50 chance that he or she has already gone around the bases a time or two.

And don't blame TV and movies either; it's as much your fault as it is the cast of Friends or various Hollywood hits.

5. I Might Be Getting Married Again
No, Sarah and I haven't gotten divorced and yes, we're technically married, but it turns out the process of getting that made legal here in Canada could end up being more hassle than just having a second quickie ceremony at City Hall might be.

After all, it's not like you can just start checking the "Married" box on applications and forms without some kind of legal record of said marriage being on file somewhere. Translating our Spanish documents and going through the various steps on that path could be costly and lengthy, whereas standing in front of a Justice of the Peace and exchanging "I Do's" a second time would be quick and painless, not to mention a funny story for down the road.

I'll keep you posted.

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iBlog On Hiatus

Just until tomorrow though...

Busy entertaining the In-Laws and working at the bar.

Sorry for depriving you of your favourite blog.

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How Is Summer Almost Over?

There is a good likelihood that my employment at Montana's will be coming to an end in the next three weeks.

Not because I'm going to go postal and shoot up the place or stand on the bar with my pants around my ankles singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" or anything like that.

No, my tenure is linked to Sarah's job situation and well, since it's almost September, I'm almost out the door.

How the hell did that happen so fast?

It's been three months since I started at Montana's and four since I arrived in London. That's insane!

This summer has flown by and it doesn't get any slower from here on out. Actually, it gets even more hectic, as the aforementioned Sarah Job Hunt gets into full swing which will undoubtedly be accompanied by packing, finding an apartment in another new city and moving all our worldly possessions.

Of course, that's while we're hammering out all the details of the wedding via email with the lazy wedding coordinator at the Gran Bahia Principe Cayacoa in Samana. I know things are a little more laid back and relaxed down there, but does it really take two weeks to return an email?

And there is also a little thing called "Spencer Finally Sees Vancouver" taking place in September, which comes after we trek to Ottawa for a weekend for Sarah's friend Erin's wedding.

Hopefully when we get to the Left Coast things will slow down a little. But let's be honest - we're going back to Sarah's home - we'll be on the go 24/7.

No rest for the wicked...

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