Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Dishonour Roll: Britney Spears

Congratulations Brit - you're the first person to ever end up in the Dishonour Roll twice!

Originally making an appearance alongside the other members of her freakish family back when the world first learned young Jamie Lynn was all knocked up, the former Mrs. Federline make a return on the heels of me spending the afternoon on the couch feeling like a sack of garbage.

See, if I was well and not - I'll spare you the graphic imagery - I wouldn't have been watching the MuchMoreMusic Top 10 where her latest "Womanizer" landed at #3.

Now, I could very much make an argument for her place on this list because of how annoying the song itself is and how Britney sounds more and more like a robot / computer with each passing album, but I won't. Besides, if people got on the Dishonour Roll through crappy music, I would have to resurrect the DR on a permanent basis and it's a lot more fun surprising Smashly with random posts like this.


Brit-Brit lands on the list because of the video.

After a handful of years where no one would touch her with a ten foot pole and she looked like she was on the verge of one of the greatest celebrity meltdowns of all-time, she has somehow made like Lazarus and gotten another opportunity at a career and the spotlight.

What is her opening move?

Getting bare ass naked throughout half of the video!

I mean, a round of applause for dropping the extra lbs you were packing back in the Trailer Park Trainwreck days, but couldn't you have gone another way with this?

I'm not saying skirts to the ankles and fully buttoned shirts are in order, but you've got kids of your own who are look at you as a role model now and your opening salvo is laying on a bench butt naked?

Put some clothes on woman and do something meaningful for once. Take a page out of the Angelina Jolie Handbook.

Remember when Angie was totally crazy, looking like a vampire super model and passionately kissing her brother at the Oscars? She too married a total loser at one point - Hiya Billy Bob!

Then, she realized no one would ever take her seriously in her career or in general if she was a freak show her entire life. She made Beyond Borders, found something she was passionate about, dove in head first and now look at her...

She's great! That could be you Britney, but no, you'd rather dance around like a skank continuing to offer an unfortunate image for your children and others to look up to.

And for the record - we all get an assist on this one for actually paying attention to this freak show... way to go us!

1 comment:

Ashley said...

ahh, dishonour roll!
i agree!
she has the opportunity to make a comeback(because people always care what she's up to) yet she's still acting the way she did pre-bald headhead! i don't understand!