10 Things I Learned This Week

1. There Aren't Enough Hours in the Day
24 hours is not enough time to do all the things I want to do and need to do. That is exactly why I haven't been here in two whole days; the things I want to do (read: write posts here) get outweighed by the things I need to do (read: going to work) and as soon as I get home it's off to sleep, pretty much. Today is going to be interesting because we need to hit the Travel Agent to plan the wedding, but I also have to be at work earlier than normal and close the place tonight.

2. Back Behind The Bar
So I've been helping out on the bar at Montana's the last couple weeks - grabbing my own drinks and helping out when the bartenders get overrun with drinks to make and tables to cover. Friday night, one of our bartenders didn't show up for the 900th time and has now been 86'ed. Guess who they asked to take his place? Obviously, I accepted, as it's the same hours over less days and better money, though it does feel weird to be pouring draft again after more than a year away from the taps.

3. I Should Have Been Tending Bar From the Beginning
Why? Because I made as much money in one shift yesterday as I did working Tuesday, Thursday and Friday combined. Granted, I did work for ten hours, but still, making $150 bucks in one day is aces to me. Mix in a closing shift tonight and a couple more nights on the bar during the week and I could be looking at some pretty decent financial gains between now and the next installment of 10 Things.

4. Dark Knight = AWESOME!
Friday night was crap at The Cookhouse, which normally would make me angry. This week, however, it made me very,very happy as it meant that instead of having to wait until this coming Sunday to see The Dark Knight, we could take it in Friday night. And take it in we did, from the second row... for the 10:45 show... At 1:30 when we walked out of the theatre, I knew I had just finished watching my favourite movie of the year.

5. I'm Really Going to Miss Heath
Seeing the transformed Ledger deliver an amazing performance as The Joker only reminded me of how unfortunate it is that he died earlier this year. His Oscar win - and he will win - won't be because he passed away like some people will undoubtedly frame it, but because his performance was so captivating that you couldn't take your eyes away from him, even when he was just sitting there. We lost one of our generation's best when he died. It would have been incredible to see him continue to evolve as an actor because there is nothing he couldn't do on screen.

6. The List of Future Landing Zones
So Sarah has finally finished her resume and cover letters and is applying for jobs as we speak. The potential destinations of the future Mr. and Mrs. Kyte are: London, Kitchener-Waterloo, Hamilton, Grimbsy, Orillia and St. Catherines. We'll keep you posted on whether we're coming to a town near you...

7. No Longer Questioning My Coolness
A couple of weeks ago, I waxed poetically about whether the style of the time had passed me by. After a day spent shopping on Saturday, the answer is a resounding no... sort of. While the style of the time for teenagers and twentysomethings has passed me by, my style has grown up into much more classy and stylish attire and that is never a bad thing. I never would have imagined a time would come where I would pass up a search announcing my training as a ninja or one of goaltender Jesus making a brilliant grab that reads "Jesus Saves" in favour of a quasi-political, socially aware GAP Inspi(RED) t-shirt, but those days are here and I love them. Look Mom - my jeans aren't hanging off my ass cheeks any more.

8. Movie Lengths - An Opinion Piece
So the last two movies I've watched (Vantage Point and Dark Knight) had a time difference of nearly 90 minutes. Another way of looking at it is that I could have watched Vantage Point twice in the time I watched The Dark Knight, but I would never do that. What I don't get is why someone in Hollywood thinks 90 minute movies work. For the most part, they don't, unless they are cheese-tastic comedies with little to no plot. Vantage Point was rolling along nicely until it seems like they got near their 90 minute cap and ended it horribly. Like I've said since Friday night / Saturday morning - I would rather sit through nearly three hours of The Dark Knight and how no stone unturned than watch 90 minutes of uselessness that leaves me wondering why they left parts unfinished.

9. A T-Shirt, An Idiot and A Little Perspective
So I had a guy sit at one of my tables yesterday with a black t-shirt on that said "I Oppose Gay Marriage." Yesterday was the London Pride Parade, so it made a little sense. But this wasn't "here are my feelings on a t-shirt" in a nice, polite way; this was a biker dude who I also overheard using the words "faggots," "queers" and other slurs repeatedly. I actually asked if I could refuse to serve him. I was told no for the record. Anywho, I got to thinking as I dealt with him and his four neanderthal friends - social monogliods like them get to live their lives, hating people for who they love, believing in all their stereotypes and "we're better than everyone else" bullshit, so what the fuck is their problem with guys who like guys or girls who like girls? You don't see anyone walking around in "I Oppose Gay-Dashing Biker Morons" t-shirts...

10. Operation: 185 Update
Starting Weight: 204 lbs.
Last Week's Weight: 201 lbs.
Current Weight: 199 lbs.
So I've dropped two pounds - and not just overnight or anything. I've maintained the 199 for the most part over the course of the week and have now refined my training into a much more balance (read: no more near hernia-inducing overdoing of the ab portion of the program) routine where it's two on, one off, two on, two off and no body part gets overly taxed on back to back days. Five down, fourteen to go...

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Change Clothes

Yeah, I'm channeling Shawn Carter here alright and with good reason.

The man the world knows as Jay-Z is a fashion icon and someone that a lot of men out there could stand to pay a little attention to, not just on wax either.

Some time ago, Mr. Beyonce Knowles decided to trade in the throwbacks and crooked hats for dapper duds and double Windsor knots. The uniform of white sneakers and white t-shirts, on top of wife beaters that Talib Kweli speaks of in "Get By" used to be the daily attire of Jay too, but somewhere along the way something changed.

The lead single from his outstanding "retirement record" The Black Album and title of this missive serves as an infommercial on attire:

Ma, I don't shop what the rest buy
Oh no Ma please respect my
Jiggy this is probably purple label
Or that BBC or it's probably tailored
But y'all niggas acting way too tough
Throw on a suit, get it tapered up, and let's just
(Change Clothes and go...)

So why am I sharing all of this with you?

Tonight is Sarah's Nursing Ball, a chance for her and those in her class to dress it up and have a nicely dressed night next to equally elegant significant others. We're dressing up and stepping out tonight...

Last year, I was the envy of the other boyfriends in the room, as Sarah is the greatest girlfriend a man could ask for an okayed my wearing jeans, sneaks and an untucked dress shirt under a jacket...

Yep, this time last year I was sporting the Douchebag Uniform. I told you I was a culprit too.

So when we hit the mall a couple weeks ago to pick up gear for tonight, I started with pieces - a great pinstriped vest, crisp white shirt, dynamite black tie and some sweet grey wool pants. I thought I was set. Then I watched Revolver.

"See? Everyone always looks good in a suit," I said as Jason Statham and his Turtle-less entourage stepped from an elevator in one of the opening scenes. Since then, all I could think about was suiting up for the evening, styling it up even more than originally scheduled. And that is just what I'm going to do tonight.

Black Pinstripe - three piece - freshly clipped hair, clean shaved and ready for pictures.

I joke about my metrosexuality on occasion and am an admitted fashion fan. As such, I want to pass on this nugget of advice to any and every man who has stuck around and gotten to this point of the prose:

Whenever you can - dinner out somewhere, drinks, a date or a party like I'm hitting tonight - style it up as much as you can.

ZZ Top wasn't lying all those years ago; every girl is crazy for a sharp dressed man.

(The love of shopping has returned... you've got a sidekick if you need one Newt!)

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Pajamas: Not An Outdoor Outfit

Guess what? You can't wear pajamas in public. It's as simple as that.

No, it doesn't matter where you're going. Unless you're going to bed, you have on the wrong attire.

Britney Spears does it all the time? Is that the argument you're going to use? Seriously? Britney's about three months away from a full out mental breakdown where she ends up sitting in a chair staring out the window all day and people say things like "It's such a shame what happened to that Spears girl. I knew she was really in trouble when she started wearing her pajamas everywhere."

Comfort? You want to give me comfort as justification? D'you know what's comfortable? Being bare-ass naked, that's comfortable, but you don't see me pushing a grocery cart in my birthday suit on a weekly basis do you? People say Crocs are comfortable too but I wouldn't be caught dead in those either.

Stacey and Clinton need to do an expose about this on a future episode of What Not To Wear. I mean, it comes up in nearly every single episode because all the fashion mongoloids out there think it's acceptable and see nothing wrong with strolling around the video store in their best Hello Kitty PJ's.

The simple fact of the matter is that there is absolutely nothing okay with wearing your pajamas out in public. No exceptions. Not even little kids, because that is just the parent being mean to their child and setting them up for years of horrible fashion choices down the road. Besides, it's not like they're a complicated piece of clothing to get in and out of. We're not talking about a corset here folks. They're pajamas!

I would say it takes no more than 30 seconds to slip out of the PJ's and into a different pair of pants. I'd even extend that to a minute, just to be nice. So how is it, even in the hustle and bustle world we live in now, that a growing number of people don't have one minute to spare to change out of the pants they crawl into bed in when they're heading out the door?

Public pajama-wearing scares the hell out of me for a number of reasons and not just because I'm a metrosexual prick who thinks he knows a thing or two about fashion. No No - it extends beyond that.

If pajamas become acceptable, what's next? It can't be long until we see some dude walk into the corner store in his housecoat...

If you don't have the time to put on a respectable pair of pants, what else have you neglected to do? Did you skip the shower for the last couple days too because the water makes you feel all icky?

I never thought I would say this, but dammit, I would rather see everyone busting out the sweatpants 24-7 than walking around in pajamas. That may not seem like much of a concession to some of you, but believe me, before this pajama epidemic, wearing sweatpants anywhere outside of the gym, laying around the house or a quick trip to the corner store was #1 on my Fashion Faux Pas list.

We've fallen into this funk of everything having to be about dressed down, comfortable and casual. Workplaces are now business casual four days a week and jeans on Fridays. The guy who shows up in the suit and tie is the odd duck and that is a crying shame.

Even Jay Z has encouraged the masses to drop the jerseys and constant casual attire and "throw on a suit and get it tapered up" in the track "Change Clothes." D'you think Hova would be caught dead in public in his pajamas? Not a chance, even though he's probably got some real slick boudoir attire.

It's not hard folks. I beg you, when you get to the front door, pause and look down at your lower half. If you see hearts, Winnie the Pooh, the name of your university or something you've seen first thing in the morning, go change.

Pants aren't that hard. You can do it. I know you can.

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