Pajamas: Not An Outdoor Outfit

Guess what? You can't wear pajamas in public. It's as simple as that.

No, it doesn't matter where you're going. Unless you're going to bed, you have on the wrong attire.

Britney Spears does it all the time? Is that the argument you're going to use? Seriously? Britney's about three months away from a full out mental breakdown where she ends up sitting in a chair staring out the window all day and people say things like "It's such a shame what happened to that Spears girl. I knew she was really in trouble when she started wearing her pajamas everywhere."

Comfort? You want to give me comfort as justification? D'you know what's comfortable? Being bare-ass naked, that's comfortable, but you don't see me pushing a grocery cart in my birthday suit on a weekly basis do you? People say Crocs are comfortable too but I wouldn't be caught dead in those either.

Stacey and Clinton need to do an expose about this on a future episode of What Not To Wear. I mean, it comes up in nearly every single episode because all the fashion mongoloids out there think it's acceptable and see nothing wrong with strolling around the video store in their best Hello Kitty PJ's.

The simple fact of the matter is that there is absolutely nothing okay with wearing your pajamas out in public. No exceptions. Not even little kids, because that is just the parent being mean to their child and setting them up for years of horrible fashion choices down the road. Besides, it's not like they're a complicated piece of clothing to get in and out of. We're not talking about a corset here folks. They're pajamas!

I would say it takes no more than 30 seconds to slip out of the PJ's and into a different pair of pants. I'd even extend that to a minute, just to be nice. So how is it, even in the hustle and bustle world we live in now, that a growing number of people don't have one minute to spare to change out of the pants they crawl into bed in when they're heading out the door?

Public pajama-wearing scares the hell out of me for a number of reasons and not just because I'm a metrosexual prick who thinks he knows a thing or two about fashion. No No - it extends beyond that.

If pajamas become acceptable, what's next? It can't be long until we see some dude walk into the corner store in his housecoat...

If you don't have the time to put on a respectable pair of pants, what else have you neglected to do? Did you skip the shower for the last couple days too because the water makes you feel all icky?

I never thought I would say this, but dammit, I would rather see everyone busting out the sweatpants 24-7 than walking around in pajamas. That may not seem like much of a concession to some of you, but believe me, before this pajama epidemic, wearing sweatpants anywhere outside of the gym, laying around the house or a quick trip to the corner store was #1 on my Fashion Faux Pas list.

We've fallen into this funk of everything having to be about dressed down, comfortable and casual. Workplaces are now business casual four days a week and jeans on Fridays. The guy who shows up in the suit and tie is the odd duck and that is a crying shame.

Even Jay Z has encouraged the masses to drop the jerseys and constant casual attire and "throw on a suit and get it tapered up" in the track "Change Clothes." D'you think Hova would be caught dead in public in his pajamas? Not a chance, even though he's probably got some real slick boudoir attire.

It's not hard folks. I beg you, when you get to the front door, pause and look down at your lower half. If you see hearts, Winnie the Pooh, the name of your university or something you've seen first thing in the morning, go change.

Pants aren't that hard. You can do it. I know you can.

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My name is Spencer and I am a Metrosexual!

It's not a good thing when your girlfriend looks at you with a "Really? Did you just say that?" look on her face when you're talking about clothes. It's especially awkward when it's not following a "Your ass looks huge in those pants" statement, but rather a "Well, it pulls a little here, but otherwise it's great and would go wicked with those white pants and your new heels."

After a day of shopping, primarily for her, I'm betting Sarah is a little less sure about me as her prospective husband. She's also maybe a little more sure that I could very well end up as the next host of TLC's What Not To Wear, replacing the stylish Clinton Kelly next to the somewhat annoying Stacy London.

I think I freaked her out a little bit today with how much insight I had into her wardrobe options, piece selections and general comments about which shoes go with which pants and how everyone looks good in a wrap dress. After arguing with me when I told her to try it on, the wrap dress that is, she apologized for her earlier comments as she carried it to the cash register.

In all honesty, Sarah and I have often joked that we have somewhat reversed gender roles in our relationship - not in the way you're thinking you sick bastards! She's good with electrical and mechanical things like hooking up the satellite and fixing the broken toilet, while I excel at, well, girly shit like picking outfits and interior design. Whatever, we're good with it.

My defense to it all, aside from the fact that I just have a generally outstanding sense of fashion and design is that I write for a Female Life / Style / Culture magazine at Passion.

What can I say? I'm just a diverse, metrosexual bastard with zero aptitude for socket wrenches and electronics.

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