Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Rundown: Just a Pilot?!

Remember those Halls Fruit Breezer commercials from a few years back, where the guy dressed as the candy ripped anyone with just one job to shreds because he did two things at once and he did so with a Jamaican accent?

Fruit Breezer Guy: What does your boyfriend do?
Female: He's a pilot.
FBG: Just a pilot?! I got two jobs!

Well, that guy can kiss my ass because I'm juggling five jobs right now. Yeah, you read that right, FIVE JOBS! For those who don't believe me, I've decided to detail them in today's Rundown.

The Five Jobs of E. Spencer Kyte

5. Proofreader, Fight! Magazine
Spencer Kyte - Grammar Police. They send me the file, I make sure everything looks good.

4. Freelance Writer
Bugs & Cranks now pretty much falls here as I haven't posted anything in over a month, in part because the Jays have done nothing, but also because, well, I'm too effin' busy. There are also the little side gigs I've been approached about here, like writing a story on my friend Luke's Heli-Golf Tour company...

3. Media Representative, Kimberley Relay for Life
The newest addition to the squad, this one, like most jobs I've taken that involve writing, pays the base salary of $0.00/hour with monthly bonuses of $0.00. But I'll be writing a weekly column in the local paper, doing some radio and local TV promoting the event and well, it makes me feel good to do something productive instead of bitching about Britney Spears.

2. Server / Bartender, Kelsey's Restaurant
Considering the temperature here is above freezing and we've gotten exactly one day of snow in the last six weeks, it's a testament to my skills in this role that I come home with $100 every night. It also doesn't hurt that I have no shame, will suck-up to just about anyone and always volunteer to be the guy who stays latest.

1. Editor, The Love of Sports
I have a serious Love/Hate relationship with this job and it's only been one real day in the role. Time consuming as shit, an organizational headache and full of new things I need to learn, the plus side is that I get to help build the site, improve my skills as a writer and editor and see some return for my efforts down the line.

There you have it... FIVE JOBS! Think about that next time you're bitching about working that Sunday shift at Blockbuster or relaxing on your couch after a tough day at the office.

I would, but I'll be busy working!


Ashley said...

Please tell me you know the 2 jobs that guy had because it will drive me looonyyy while I'm working my shifts at Blockbuster if I can't figure it out!
It went something like..." _________ and 'cool soothing sensation'..."
Help me fill in the blanks!
Your loyal reader,

E. Spencer Kyte said...

I'm a tropical fruit candy and I deliver the cool, soothing fruit sensation... TWO JOBS!

Sarah said...

You are also a wonderful Pug's father and a Great Bab