I don't know if that is happening or has happened to anyone else, but I've been questioning my coolness recently.
Not that I was ever the complete epitome of cool, but I like to think that there was a time when I had my finger on the pulse - I knew the trends, the fashion, the music, the style, everything - and did my best to represent that. These were also the years, looking back, where I was know to have sported the D-bag Uniform a time or two as well, so what does that tell you?
Nowadays, my finger is far from the pulse and truthfully, I'm really fine with that. What's cool these days is absolutely retarded. That's why the cartoon batting leadoff on this post is so damn funny.
And that's why My New Haircut has nearly 2 million hits on YouTube.
I walked through the mall the other day with Sarah and had no inclination whatsoever to go into stores like American Eagle or Aeropostale because they sell the exact same crap - frat boy garbage that has their name splattered all over it for ridiculous prices. If I'm going to pay $35 for a golf shirt, I don't want it to be one that I already saw fourteen kids walking around in - collars popped of course - that says American Eagle.
That's not to say that I don't care about style and fashion and looking good anymore - quite the opposite really - it's just that my style and sense of what looks cool has grown up and been heightened.
A really well cut, good fitting pair of charcoal pants and a crisp white button down is my new "Going Out" attire, a great departure from the days of jeans and printed t-shirt with sneakers.
I guess I've gotten to the days where I can actually say, "I don't understand the kids these days..." and tell you that I think Huey Lewis was right all those years ago when he said, "It's hip to be square."
P.S. If you think citing Huey Lewis makes me a total dork - peep Pineapple Express and see who they got singing the theme song... Huey Lewis and the muotherfuckin' News baby!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Questioning My Coolness
Monday, April 14, 2008
In a Way, I Hate Myself
Technically speaking, I am part of the media.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Things I Learned This Week
You know what? This has actually been a fairly mild mannered week all things considered. I mean, I didn't hit anymore deer, we're all moved in and work wasn't actually that bad. Still, life is always educational.
1. I Have The Ability To Change People
Contrary to the popular belief that people can only change if they want to, I present my girlfriend, Sarah, as my exhibit that I have transformative powers, if transformative is even a word. When we met, she was quiet, never swore and was financially responsible. Seventeen months later, she's only quiet when she is uncomfortable, swears with great regularity - especially at the computer - and has developed an affinity for spending money. To hell with popular beliefs... I have the power!
2. Exercise Blows
Yeah, this isn't so much a "Thing I Learned This Week" as it is an "Affirmation of Something I Already Knew," but either way, it fits. I now walk to and from work pretty much every day. It's not that far, doesn't take that long and is probably going to help me with that whole get in shape resolution of mine. But still, I hate it. I hate the cold to begin with, so knowing that I have to trudge my fat ass up hill 50% of the way each way in the bitter cold of The Rock isn't very appealing. Doesn't help that my new boots aren't worn in yet either, so I get to work and have a bloody mess of a heal every day. Stupid deer ruining our car and making me exercise!
3. New Year, Same Morons Part I
2008 hasn't decreased the amount of mouth-breathing idiots that flock to Blockbuster on a daily basis. In fact, thus far, 2008 has been a banner year for morons. Example 1: The Crotchety Old Lady who pays no attention to the fact that there is a lineup, walks up to my cash and demands to know where our Prison Section is, as if we have an entire area devoted to three crappy Steven Seagal prison movies and Blood In, Blood Out. What makes her even better is that she kept at it for twenty minutes, demanding I pick out some prison movies for her as if I have them all committed to memory before she told someone on the other end of her cell phone that I was being an asshole. Yes, I was standing right next to her when she said it. Wicked, eh?
4. New Year, Same Morons Part II
A Random Guy who came in yesterday and asked if we had a section of adult magazines. What The Fuck Dude? I could understand asking about skin flicks - and it happens with some frequency - but what part of our store being called Blockbuster Video makes you think we would possibly have a stack of spank mags tucked away in a corner of the store, maybe next to the kid's section just for shits and giggles? Seriously...
5. My Fan Base Stands at 2
Now you and I know that that isn't exactly true, because I know exactly how many people have visited this here site in the past couple weeks and it's a lot more than two, but I have this little Facebook Exercise in Narcissism set up where people can click a link and "Become a Fan of... E.Spencer Kyte, Writer" and there are currently two such people. One is Sarah, who strongly objected to the exercise and joined only because she knew I would hold a grudge against her until she did and the other is my friend AJ from Bugs & Cranks. My question to you reading this with a Facebook Account - which is pretty much everyone in the world now, no? - is what the hell are you waiting for?
6. Anonymous Commentors Piss Me Off
Since I started this little venture, no one had posted a comment anonymously, until some douchebag dropped one on the Dishonour Roll: Phil Kyte post criticizing my slagging the Old Man in - gasp - a blog post! Here's what comes to mind: it's either (a) a member of my extended family who disagrees with my slagging the Old Man in general, yet alone on my blog or (b) some fuckwad who likes to comment on what other people do from the shadows of anonymity because he/she doesn't want anyone to know who they are. Grow a sack and identify yourself Anonymous one, then we can talk.
7. I Don't Miss TV
I thought this Writer's Strike would have screwed things up for me a little, but really, I haven't missed television at all. The shows I like - aside from Grey's - have remained on the air and since I've been working a great deal and doing a ton of unpacking, writing and playing NBA Live 08, I haven't missed it all that much. That being said, I'm pumped that Grey's is back as on Thursday.
8. If This Writing Thing Doesn't Work Out, I'm Becoming a Chef
Nothing compares to the feeling I get after completing a piece and seeing it take off, either in print in Passion or getting hits and votes on the 'Net. The only thing mildly similar is how satisfying it is to whip up a delicious meal from scratch, sit down and enjoy it. Fired off a couple nice ones in the last ten days of being in the new house and should writing not pan out, becoming a chef is an option. Of course, writing is going to pan out... but I might just take a couple cooking classes on the side anyway.
9. I'm A Walking Pop Culture Quote Machine...
And very few people have any idea what the hell I'm talking about half of the time. I use lines from Friends on a daily basis and have to put them in context even for the Friends Die Hards I'm surrounded by (Sarah, Ash, Erin & Kim). When someone calls Blockbuster and refuses to speak, I break out the "Baxter? Is that you? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee" and everyone looks at me like I'm an idiot. Admittedly, I am a bit of an idiot, but still.
10. I Don't Understand Why People Are Shocked When I Know What Movie They're Talking About
I spend 40 hours a week at Blockbuster goddamn Video and have been a movie buff for a long time before that, so why is it so shocking that I know which movie you're looking for when you tell me who is in it, what it's about and roughly when it came out? This is what I do people. It works with music and sports too. Feel free to challenge me whenever you're bored...
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Things I Learned This Week
It's been an interesting week to say the least.
1. Being the Bigger Person Sucks!
You know when those situations come up where someone does something stupid to you and all you want to do is lose it but you can't? That was my Friday afternoon. Even worse is when you can't even spend 24 hours avoiding the bullshit because your stuck going to work and the issue is obviously going to come up. It's not like you can refuse to shake someone's hand when they apologize, even when their apology is the most hollow, self-serving thing you've ever heard.
2. I Have a Different View of Apologies than Some
I dunno, but to me, saying "I'm sorry" is more for the person who screwed up than the one who was slighted. While uttering those two little words makes the person who effed up feel better, it doesn't do anything for the person who was wronged in my eyes. What really matters is seeing after the fact that you understand what you did wrong and you don't do it again. Sure it's nice to hear, but I'd rather see you do better than hear those words.
3. Sarah Really is the Scrabble Champion
We sat down to play this afternoon and at one point I cheated - switched up a couple letters while she wasn't in the room so I could make a better word. I know... I'm a horrible person. Anyway, she still ended up beating me by 20 points. Even when I stack the deck, she still gets pocket rockets and cleans me out.
4. Some People Have No Social Etiquette
When a group of people are all buying drinks, isn't it customary for everyone to just take turns? And another thing: if you're going out - even if it wasn't all that planned - have some money in your pockets or go to the bank. Bringing five bucks to the table just doesn't cut it.
5. Our Vacation Couldn't be Coming at a Better Time
I just really need to get away from this island for a while. Besides the whole situation vaguely described in #1 & #2, it's supposed to sleet all week, The Shitbox is on her last legs and I'm craving a little time in a more metropolitan area. So heading to Van City next weekend is just what the doctor ordered...
6. If this is the Voice of Pop Culture in Canada, we're screwed!
I picked up Naked Eye magazine this week, who claims to be the voice of Pop Culture in Canada or something like that. I know there are difficulties to staying current when you're a quarterly magazine, but nothing should stop you from making sure there are no spelling / grammar mistakes in your final published product.
7. Consequently, My Future Got a Little Brighter
Not that it wasn't bright already, but c'mon, knowing that "The Voice of Pop Culture in Canada" put out a shitty mag with dated stories, grammatical errors and some of the same stuff that I covered in this month's issue of Passion very much works in my favour.
8. No Grey's Really Threw Me Off This Week
Yes, I watch Grey's Anatomy; religiously actually. This week was a rerun and I had no idea what to do with my Thursday night. Apparently I've become that regimented when it comes to this show that when it's not on, I'm a little lost. Thankfully, I work 9-5 Thursday and will be home for the conclusion to the "Seth Green's Neck Exploded" Episode.
9. My Mind Works in Mysterious Ways
- A couple came in on Saturday night looking for "a Christmas movie about a bunch of girls. Well it's not really a Christmas movie but it's always on around Christmas because there is a Christmas scene. D'you know what it's called?" If your first thought was Little Women, we're a lot alike... you would have been right too.
- My friend Kory Steward's name on MSN yesterday was God Shamgod and I was the only one who got it. Apparently no one else remembers 5'10" NYC Point Guards who played at Providence and had a cup of coffee in The Association....
Someone asks you what you want for Christmas and your first thoughts are new towels, a Scrabble Dictionary, a couple of books and some new wine glasses. When did I stop asking for money, clothes and CDs? Where did that guy go?
Boston Celtics Update: 14-2, 9-0 at Home... I know, I'm a moron! Continue reading ...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The Rundown: Hip List
When I picked Sarah up from school last night, she told me about a conversation she had with a mutual friend of our's named Dylan. He's the boyfriend of a girl in her class that we've hung out with a bunch over the past few months, and at some point or another I told him Kanye West is the greatest music artist on the face of the planet today. He disagreed.
"Tell Spencer I owe him an apology," he said to her yesterday. "After listening to the new Kanye West album (Graduation), I liked it so much I went out and bought the other two and they're outstanding as well."
My response... I told you so.
And it's with that in mind that I bring you today's Rundown.
The Top Five Things I Can Make You Hip To
(Yes, I'm tooting my own horn... deal with it!)
5. Better Magazines
There is more to the world than Maxim and FHM. Put those down for a minute and go pick up the latest Details or Esquire or GQ. Excellent writing, better suggestions on style, fashion, music, technology and all safely outside of the Fratboy "Look at her tits!" stance of the magazines you read when you were, well, a fratboy. We all have to grow up sometime...
Oh - do yourself a favour and pick up Passion Magazine next Tuesday too.
4. Bravo's Inside the Actor's Studio
It doesn't matter if you're not a film geek like me, this show isn't just about movies. It's about listening to people speak passionately about their craft, where they came from and the decisions that put them where they are. Plus, finding out what people's favourite curse word is is always entertaining.
3. Nick Hornby
There shouldn't be a lot of people who aren't hip to one of the best writers of our generation, but there really are. His works are outstanding and whether you know it or not, you've enjoyed them too. High Fidelity, About A Boy, Fever Pitch - even though Hollywood bastardized the story - are all Nick Hornby. Johnny Depp even bought the movie rights to his second last release - Long Way Down - before the book was finished. Also falling into this category are Chuck Klosterman, Kevin Smith (yes, that Kevin Smith) and Cormac McCarthy.
2. The Hour
I can't stress this enough - you need to be watching this show. It mashes politics with pop culture and something about Strombo makes guest feel comfortable enough to be candid. If you're in the 20-30 demographic, this is the best show on television for you to watch. I know you love House (I do too) or maybe The Hills (ech!) but honestly, do yourself a favour and give it a shot...
1. Good Ass Music
Open your ears and experience things outside of your comfort zone, then thank me for it later. Buy an album by The Roots (My picks: Things Fall Apart or Phrenology) and hear what intelligent hip hop on top of an incredibly talented band sounds like. Download Stop Me by Mark Ronson (feat. Aussie Daniel Merriweather) and realize that North America missed the boat on an incredible track, not to mention his entire Version album. Get over your "he was in 'N Sync" bias and listen to the best album of the last year and a half, FutureSex/LoveSounds. Lily Allen is brilliant, so too are Wilco and The Shins. Rilo Kiley, Rilo Kiley, Rilo Kiley...
Friday, November 16, 2007
My Rolling Stone Interview
Before the seven of you reading this get super excited for your favourite blogger, understand that the good people at Rolling Stone haven't come knocking, nor have I secured Jann S. Wenner to sit down and answer some of my mundane questions.
Today's installment comes as a result of my purchasing the 40th Anniversary issue of Rolling Stone. The whole thing - at least the meat of it - is a collection of interviews with "important people" like Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Dave Matthews, Tom Hanks and a handful of others with different writers asking questions about what the future holds on various fronts, including politics, technology, music and what the most pressing issues are for the coming generations. And this inspired me to conduct my own version of the interview.
Questions by Rolling Stone. Answers by E. Spencer Kyte. Enjoy.
In general, are you optimistic or pessimistic about the future?
Neither, I'm realistic. Things aren't going to change overnight and that means that the immediate future will most likely be a lot like the present and the present kind of sucks. I mean, sure there are scattered positives, but on a whole, on a global scale, the world sucks. Our troops are in a war that we really should have nothing to do with, no one seems to be willing to do anything about real crises like Darfur and there is this little thing about the environment that has Al Gore all up in arms. And best of all, our politicians would much rather just tell you all the stuff the other guy didn't do than actually do something positive themselves.
On the topic of religion, do you see people getting more or less rational in the coming years?
Hopefully more rational, but I know religion is a very divisive topic so that is just optimism. To me, organized religion is a sham and I don't say that to disrespect anyone. But for me, it simply becomes another reason people fight, which is unnecessary. There are much bigger issues to take than someone believing in a different god than you. And then there is the whole "God's Law" side of the debate where people do things and refuse to do things in the name of God instead of acting and living like rational human beings.
Has your career unfolded the way you expected?
I'm just getting started and so far, I'm pleased. I was just saying earlier today that I look forward to being able to tell my children that anything is possible and be a real-life example of that for them. I only decided to do this (writing) a couple years ago and in the last year I have signed on with two sports websites, am a regular contributor to an outstanding magazine and have started this bad boy right here. Plus, I have a couple other projects in the works that have me more excited than anything else.
How could Canada make an difference in Darfur?
Right now, any form of action would be a starting point. Too much time is spent debating the issues and talking about finding a solution and putting an end to the atrocities and that goes for me too. It's easy for me to say, "I'm appalled by the situation in Darfur" and then do nothing about it. From my position, one of the foremost things I can do is present the issue and talk about it, as well as seek action in government. As for Canada, maybe they would like to think about where our troops are allocated. I mean, an entire culture of people are being eradicated in Darfur, yet we're in Iraq trying to bring democracy to a country that obviously doesn't want it.
Do you believe free speech is truly in danger?
100% I do and that really sucks for someone like me. I think there are still outlets where free speech is encouraged and welcomed, but as the global community become more and more of a multinational corporation and media outlets continue to dictate what you see and hear, those avenues will eventually be shut down or muted as best as they can be. It's not as bad here in Canada as it is in the US - yet - and the yet is what scares me.
Are there public figures who you think are inspiring as we move into the future?
Barack Obama gives me hope. I honestly wish he was a Canadian citizen or decided to become one so we could have someone like him leading our country. He is so different from the current regime on so many levels that, whether he wins the Democratic Nomination or not, knowing he will be a very visible and involved government figure makes me very pleased. Besides him, I'm waiting for the next great Canadian to step up in that role. We haven't had anyone who inspired us since Trudeau and that was before my time. Since I can remember we've had Mulroney, Kim Campbell briefly, Jean Chretien, Paul Martin and now Stephen Harper. Someone has to step to the forefront and be willing to be that person that champions Canada as the incredible nation that it is and unites our country, instead of dividing it. Not that everyone will agree on everything, but right now, all we keep electing are minority governments, which means everyone is split every which way and nothing greatly productive or impressive or groundbreaking gets done in Parliament because everyone is too afraid of losing what little bits of power they have.
How would you describe the state of pop culture?
Fucking train wreck. Seriously. I like to think of myself as a bit of a Pop Culture guy and it's sad the state of affairs right now. Even shittier is that it might just keep getting worse and worse. I mean, Dina Lohan has her own reality show and she's using it to promote her next daughter. Meanwhile, daughter #1 Lindsay is a total fucking mess who can't stay out of rehab and off the blow. Worse yet, Britney Spears has a number one single and a number one album. Tell me how in the world does this happen? Shouldn't someone have stood up and said, "We're not making your album until you get your shit straight?" It's not about your fifteen minutes of fame anymore. Now it's down to fifteen seconds, thanks to YouTube, Us Weekly and TMZ. People are missing the bigger picture of pop culture and what it can be. Instead, the focus is on dirt - tabloid bullshit - and that is really troubling.
Are you worried about the predicted disappearance of books and magazines and newspapers?
Not one bit. As much as technology has advanced and more types of media are available online and in different forms, nothing will ever beat the real thing. There is something about sitting in the park or a coffee shop or your living room reading a book or the newspaper that you just don't get from flipping through the virtual version. If anything, I think the Internet helps strengthen things because it is another avenue for getting your name and your work out to people. That wasn't available before. Some of those new people might just find the online version of your work, but there are still thousands of people who buy books, have magazine and newspaper subscriptions and do things the old fashioned way. That will never disappear.
What songs do you want played at your funeral?
The only one I know for sure is "Change" by Blind Melon. There is a lyric from that song that has been my quote for as long as I can remember. It's at the top of this blog actually. Other than that, I'd want something, not upbeat, but uplifting. I don't want my funeral to be a big sad bastard festival. I want to be celebrated and remembered. There would probably have to be some Kanye...
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