Take a Hint Already, Balsillie

For those who don't know, the man pictured above is Jim Balsillie, Co-CEO of Research in Motion, makers of the Blackberry. To put it quite simply, homeboy is crazy rich. He's also a massive hockey fan.

Over the last couple of years, Balsillie has tried and failed on three separate occasions to purchase fledgling NHL franchises and move them to Southern Ontario, specifically Hamilton. On three separate occasions, Balsillie has failed to secure a team.

We here at iBlog think it's time that Jim Balsillie take a hint.


Face it, Slick - the NHL doesn't want your brand of gung-ho, website-creating ownership, regardless of the fact that you're worth an estimated $3.5 billion and care more about the sport than many current NHL owners.

As much as this might sound blasphemous to some, I can't blame them.

Having all kinds of money and a love of the game is one thing, but have a little business savvy while you're at it, Jim. How many times to you have to try and fail using the same business model before you realize it's flawed?

Don't go into the activity of buying a team with websites dedicated to bringing the team to Canada and announcing grand refurbishment plans for Copps Coliseum. I mean, at least this time you didn't start selling tickets already or anything, but shit, slow down and let the process run it's course for chrissakes.

Just because you have a whack of cash and a desire to bring a team to a market that is clearly better than Phoenix, Atlanta and Nashville combined doesn't make it a done deal. Buffalo, for one, has no interest in you plunking a team down in their prime territory of border-crossing fans. You've got to play the game and most importantly, you've got to follow the rules of said game.

The interesting thing about all this is that Balsillie could own one of the most storied franchises in sports history - and their rink - for probably less than he would spend on the Phoenix Coyotes, as the Montreal Canadiens and the Bell Centre are up for sale as well. Why not buy them?

Simply put, it'd never happen because Balsillie is hell-bent on bringing whatever team he buys to Southern Ontario, even though you, me and everyone without a vested interest in the situation can see that it won't happen under Gary Bettman's watch, though the continued employment of Bettman is another topic for another day.

If you're so dire to be an NHL owner, buy a team, period. No talk of relocation, no water colour paintings of changes to old arenas, no logos on your Blackberry when you're mugging for the television cameras.

Stay put in the city you're already in, operate the team and show that you're biggest interest is in furthering the game and making the NHL better. Put your politics and ideologies about the game in your back pocket and show the NHL you care about more than bringing another team to Canada.

We both know that hockey in Phoenix is never going to fly, no matter how good the Coyotes ever become. Ride out a year, maybe two, with empty seats, losing a couple million dollars. What's a couple million dollars to you, right?

Tow the line, play the game and do what you have to do to appease the NHL. It's the only way you're ever going to get what you want.

Let me put that in a way that is easier to understand ...

Stop being a douchebag!

You want a team? Buy one, just stop all this Make It Seven relocation bullshit already...

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10 Things I Learned this Week

Breaking out a brand new Albert this week. Why? Why not? Let's get to it ...

1. 'Net Working
Over these last seven days, I've really learned the power of working the social networking scene on my computer to the best of my advantage. The Shameless Self-Promotion Tour is still in full force and has thus far yielded a great interview, a couple solid links and a handful of opportunities for the future.

2. My Work Analogy
Saturday night I had no interest in dealing with 95% of the people I work with. I get like that some times. In thinking about it, I came up with the most apt analogy of the situation: work is like high school and I'm the new artsy kid who doesn't really know anyone. I've got a few friends, but for the most part, I don't know the people you're bitching about and I don't care to, so we stay out of each others' way.


3. Too Close?
I've been spending more time than ever before immersed in the world of Mixed Martial Arts and I think my prediction skills are suffering because of it. Saturday night's Strikeforce card yielded a 4-7 record and while I'm doing well tonight with the WEC fights (5-3 with 2 to go), I'm still way under .500 on Keyboard Kimura and that is horrible.

4. Booking My Ticket to Stardom
This week, I'm sending out my book proposal. It's done, as is the query letter and I'm not wasting any time. As many agents as I can possibly find who are accepting the type of manuscript that I'm hawking will be receiving the 22-page offering for their consideration. The more the merrier... and more likely to find someone willing to make like ABBA and take a chance on me.

5. It's Been Seven Months...
So why should it surprise anyone that we're investigating another move? This is what we do. Actually, we're looking because Sarah's job isn't as rewarding or enjoyable as she'd hoped - being 50% over capacity every shift can do that to you - and we know we don't want to spend forever in Kimberley. That means moving sooner rather than later makes the most sense. Feel free to submit your "Move Here" requests in the comments. Or your "Don't Move Here" alerts as well.

6. One More Win
A win tomorrow night and my Detroit Red Wings are once again Stanley Cup Champions. Man, that has a nice ring to it. To the fans of everyone else in the NHL: Suck It!

7. Speaking of the NHL
Listening to Gary Bettman talk about trying to ensure the Phoenix Coyotes remain in Phoenix is so frustrating. You can't cling to a "we don't want to abandon markets" argument when you have a track record of doing it. Winnipeg, Quebec City and Minnesota all got ditched, in part, just because. Fan support was far better in each of those cities than it is in several US markets right now and nothing prevented the Jets from flying to the desert, Les Nordiques from heading to Denver and the North Stars heading to south to Dallas. I'd respect him more if he just admitted it was about money.

8. Been a Great Food Week
Sarah's been off all week, so we've had time to make some serious meals around here and I must say how rewarding and enjoyable they've been. Neither of us are gourmets by any stretch, but even just having some homemade BBQ burgers yesterday was far better than anything Kelseys or the fast food joints could offer, not to mention 3000 times healthier. What makes it more satisfying is that it really doesn't take any longer to make something great and fresh like we've done all week than it does to open a box or order a pizza. I never would have said these things two years ago ...

9. Three Words: Bud Light Lime
I know the naysayers will lobby that it's simply a light beer infused with lime, something you can do to every bottle of beer you ever open. I get that. But I also like something light and refreshing in the summer that I can drink by the case and this hits the spot. To me, it's a higher quality Corona; better beer, hint of lime already there and none of the dangerous Mexican contaminants of los cervezas. I don't care if you think it's stupid - I love it.

10. Working Sucks
To prove this isn't just sour grapes from a guy making no money slinging drinks and piling plates, I've made $300 in the last 24 hours at the restaurant, so no, it isn't about money. It's about being sick of the bitching and the bass-ackwards approach always taken to doing business. Bars shouldn't run out of draft beer, especially not Canadian and you certainly shouldn't be putting the overstocked something else on the that line and calling it Canadian. Don't cut everyone before people have even had a chance to come into and eat; you just end up leaving someone fucked every time. Want to keep labor costs low? Don't have 14 people in the kitchen and keep a couple front of house staff. I can't keep doing this; I'm going insane. Cross those fingers for a book deal people.

See you next Sunday!

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Barry Melrose Is Not the Face of Hockey

So I'm watching Pardon the Interruption yesterday and in their discussion of the Pens - Capitals series, Kornheiser states that Barry Melrose is the face of hockey.

Excuse me?

Maybe in his advanced age and receding hairline Tony forgot to add the qualifier of "on this network" or "in the United States," at the end of that sentence. I sure hope so or else the state of the NHL is far worse than I had imagined.

Not to take anything away from Barry Melrose; he was a decent coach in Los Angeles and is an agreeable enough figure in the studio, but the face of hockey he is not. In fact, he's not even the smartest hockey guy employed by ESPN. That honor goes to Pierre LeBrun. Now there is a guy who knows his hockey.

Taken on a larger scale, this comment further illustrates the sad state of hockey in the United States.

While the Stanley Cup Playoffs run on our National network (CBC) and our largest sports network (TSN) on a nightly basis, games are being broadcast in the US on Versus and the NHL Network, two channels that most people either don't have or don't know about.

More time is dedicated to covering Tiger Woods' awful final round on Sunday than one of the best Playoff matchups to come along in years, pitting the two brightest stars in the NHL sky against one another.

As if that weren't bad enough, you once again have Canadian billionaire Jim Balsillie trying to purchase a cash-strapped, failing franchise from a hideous American market. What other sport repeatedly tells a guy with an obvious passion for the game and more money than he knows what to do with that he can't own a franchise?

This is a league that sold a team to a guy who is now in jail for fraud and embezzlement instead of Balsillie.

While I understand Gary Bettman's desire to keep franchises where they are and not "abandon" markets as he says, let's not forget how this team got to Phoenix in the first place...

Where was the desire to work through problems when the team was in The 'Peg or the Nordiques getting moved to Colorado?

American expansion is fine, but returning to a market that is starving for hockey or bringing another team into the hot bed of hockey fanaticism is just plain wrong, is that it?

Thankfully, I live in Canada where I can watch all the games without issue and see what the true face of hockey has to say... Ron McLean!

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Here's A Better Idea

Reports indicate the NHL is considering putting a second NHL team in Toronto in the future.

To be blunt, the notion makes me sick.

Not just because I grew up in Hamilton and had my hopes of an NHL franchise in my backyard dashed a number of times or because I have an absolute hatred of all things Maple Leafs.

No, the idea of a second team in Toronto is ridiculous to me because cities across Canada that have, could and would support an NHL team are ignored completely while craptacular US cities like Nashville and Atlanta refuse to support teams.

Instead of giving a great place like Winnepeg another kick at the can or returning a franchise to Quebec City, the NHL would much rather make like the NBA has done in Los Angeles for years and have two teams calling Toronto home.

Of course, all of this has to do with finances, as Toronto could very easily support two teams and those poor Buffalo Sabres couldn't lobby against the efforts like they have in Hamilton as no one from the Niagara Region is going to drive two hours to Toronto when they can jump across the border and watch better hockey at The HBC.

The name being tied to all of this is Research in Motion millionaire Jim Balsillie, a man who a couple years back the NHL (read: Gary Bettman) basically instructed the owners of the Nashville Predators not to sell the franchise to. Now that teams, including Nashville, continue to struggle and the economy has taken a serious downturn, the NHL is ready to welcome Balsillie and his millions into the fold with open arms and a team in the biggest hockey market in the world.

While I have written at various sites about how much I would love to see the NHL have a stronger Canadian presence, this isn't what I had in mind. Although Toronto may have the best attendance and merchandise revenues around the league, they also have a long history that contributes to their ridiculously loyal fanbase. A second team in the city may not be the same cash cow as the Maple Leafs, except that everyone who can't get tickets to Leafs games would now have another option.

Instead of bringing a second team into the city that thinks of itself as the center of the Canadian world, why not branch out and grow the game in other markets or return it to cities that loyally served the NHL long before guys with deep pockets decided hockey would be a big sell in Nashville?

I mean really, you could stick a team out here in Cranbrook and they would draw better than the Atlanta Thrashers!

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