Call me un-Canadian.
Call me a grinch.
Call me whatever fun curse word you're currently favoring these days.
The Olympics are a joke to me.
Don't get me wrong - I'll watch some stuff here and there, but as a whole, I just don't get it.
Actually, I think the problem is that when I look at the Olympics, I basically see the same things that take place throughout the sporting year.
With the exception of hockey, why all of a sudden are Canadians (or people of any country) glued to their televisions to see how a skier they've never cared about before makes out in the Giant Slalom?
Newsflash: they've always been Canadian, they've always competed for Canada against skiers from other nations, and the races have been held on Canadian soil countless times each year. Nothing has changed...
I love my country a great deal - though some will surely argue that point after reading this - but the two weeks of faux-patriotism and nationalism makes me want to vomit. Hockey is the only "event" that comes to mind where things are different at the Olympics, and so suddenly having a vested interest in how Canada does makes sense to me.
Everything else? The same.
It's not like Jeremy Wotherspoon will leave Vancouver, rejoin the Amsterdam Ice Bandits of the International Speed Skating Association and help them defeat their arch-rivals from Belgium.
But it's "The Olympics" and everyone is supposed to be super-excited and wear overly expensive Canada gear that can only be purchased with VISA, the Official Card of the 2010 Olympic Games (or cash), and be deeply tied to how Jeff Pain and Jon Montgomery do in Men's Skeleton.
Call me whatever you will - unpatriotic, buzzkill, douche, whatever - but be sure to actually call me in a month's time too...
I'll be looking for updates on how your favorite skier or figure skating is doing in regular competition and laughing every time someone says, "Who?" once the Olympic glow washes away.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Time for the Oly... Oh Wait... I Don't Care
Monday, January 12, 2009
Good to Know I'm Not Alone
Not too long ago, I rolled out the Dishonor Roll for Mr. Brody Jenner and his new show Bromance where he brings a bunch of dudes to Hollywood to audition for a place in his "posse" of jobless, party-going douchebags.
Clicking around the web today, I landed at Next Round to see who they have pegged as the "Actresses you need to know heading into 2009." While I'll be posting a better list myself for Wednesday's Rundown - you can't include people who are already fairly well known - I found this little gem in the sidebar of previous posts:
Things Less Gay Than Brody Jenner's Show Bromance
Some of my personal favorites include:
- Dry weddings
- Sean Penn's character in Milk, gay rights activist Harvey Milk
- Zac Efron
- Saving yourself for marriage
- Seeing Twilight with another dude
- Capris for men
- Ellen Degeneres
- The picture used at the lead of this post
- The basement scene in Pulp Fiction
I have to say, it's refreshing to know I'm not the only one that thinks a show about auditioning dudes to be one of your best friends just sounds like a thinly-veiled way of saying you love Sausage Parties.
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I know what you're thinking:
Dishonor should have a "u" in it, same with favorite. Well, at least if you're Canadian you're thinking that. Believe me, I know.
But since I'm striking out into the US and A as Co-Editor at The Love of Sports, I need to get my writing a little more Americanized, which basically means my man G is sick of editing my work for what he feels are superfluous "u's" strewn throughout my writing.
I told him it's like asking him to give me distances in kilometres and it's going to take time, but that didn't really get a response.
So, I'm phasing out the "u" to appease my US bosses and readers. Just don't ask me to sing the Star Spangled Banner... Continue reading ...
Monday, July 21, 2008
Dishonour Roll: Steven Page
"Hey, I know I great idea - hows about I get busted with some blow right as we release Snacktime, our first kids album, and are scheduled to appear at a huge Disney-backed Kids Music show?"
While I'm sure Steven Page never really uttered those words, that's pretty much how things have gone over the last week for the co-lead singer of Barenaked Ladies.
Last week, New York State police arrested Page for possession of a controlled substance. As always, Page, the label, his bandmates and everyone involved immediately said his innocence would be proven. Except it won't.
According to the Canadian Press, Page flat out admitted to the Staties that he was snorting coke. Kind of hard to prove your innocence when the cops can simply read the statements you made as they were clamping the shiny, silver bracelets on you.
Now I'm no boy scout and no where near naive - rock stars and drugs... Who would have thought? - especially when it comes to the a guy who wrote a song with a chorus containing the words "Another postcard from chimpanzees," but the timing couldn't be worse.
Making this situation suck further is that these guys are one of the biggest Canadian bands around and one of the few I'm proud to acknowledge as actually being from Canada - "Celine Dion? No, she's from France I think. Nickelback too." - and this dickfor has to go out and get busted with some nose candy.
I find it somewhat ironic that the guy from the goofy, funny band gets busted for blow while Adam Gontier, the guy from the hard rocking "look like they'd use drugs" band Three Days Grace, went out, got clean and toured detox centers for their last album. Maybe it's just me...
At the end of the day, I guess we all know what Steven Page's craving when Snacktime rolls around.
Welcome to the Dishonour Roll douchebag!
Monday, June 9, 2008
The Next U.S. President (& Why Canadian Politics Sucks!)
Barack Obama has a 50/50 chance on becoming the next President of the United States.
I think it's more like 65/35 myself, but you never know.
How could Americans possibly want four more years of Republican rule? YIKES!
Obama secured the Democratic Party Nomination last week and got the full backing of his former adversary Hilary Clinton Friday when she called an end to her campaign and encouraged her supports to shift their focus to ensuring that Barack Obama makes it to the White House.
Words do not describe how excited I am right now about the political climate in the United States. In turn, they also do not do justice to just how craptastic I think the Canadian Political picture is.
This time next year, we could be discussing the first African - American President. Ever. Take a couple minutes to soak that in.
Whether you're American or not or an Obama supporter or not, the fact is that you're a living in an historic time. This is something that they will be teaching our children in History Class years from now and we're getting to witness it first hand.
Conversely, there is absolutely nothing of consequence happening on the Canadian Political landscape.
There are no inspirational leaders, no historic changes becoming strong possibilities, nothing.
We have a minority government for what feels like eternity, meaning very little actually gets done in Parliament, as Stephen Harper and the Conservatives cannot risk losing a vote and getting ousted from office.
Instead of taking aim on improving our country, our political officials take aim at one another's flaws and shortcomings, while failing to acknowledge or address their own while they're at it.
Don't get me wrong - I love my country and know that anywhere in Canada is far and away a greater place to live than anywhere South of the Border.
But man, what I wouldn't do for a candidate like Barack Obama to come and re-energize the Canadian Political scene...
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Just Like Jared Leto
So I run, hide and tell myself
I'll start again with a brand new name
Just as Jared Leto's 30 Seconds to Mars said on their debut single "Capricorn," I too announced a running away from the my original name here on this site, proclaiming that I would return with a new and improved moniker.
That was a week ago and so, it's time to reveal the new name...
I BLOG BECAUSE I CAN
Catchy ain't it?
Honestly, in thinking things over for the week and flipping through the various sites that for some reason allow me to post my ramblings on a regular basis (Thanks ShowHype!) I figured changing the name at this stage would be stupid. Instead of wanting to differentiate myself from the other peons who use the name, I figured I would just annihilate them with my vicious and witty rhetoric until only one blog was left standing. If at that point it isn't me, I'll come up with something else.
"7283792367"
"6226188142"
Those two random numbers are me officially claiming this here blog on BallHype and ShowHype, two sites you should definitely check out if you like (a) sports or (b) celebrity gossip and news. See why I'm there often?
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In a totally unrelated story, we live below hillbillies! Sadly, it isn't Jed and his kin either...
Nope, we live below the hillbillies who celebrate moving into a new place by breaking down doors and getting into a domestic 36 hours after moving in. Nothing spells lovin' like having the cops show up to your new place inside 48 hours.
What makes it all better, if it could even happen, is that they like fighting at 4 AM. Nothing is nicer to wake up to than a couple of freakshow skeets who I haven't laid eyes on yet cussing at each other and slamming doors while I'm trying to get some sleep. I love being woken up to the words "Get The Fuck Out" being yelled over and over and over and over.
The capper? He, the male hillbilly, doesn't even live here. Apparently just his hillbilly woman does... he broke down the door to start the fight last night. Awesome!
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Canada won it's fourth straight World Junior Hockey Championship Gold Medal this afternoon. Just in case anyone thought of questioning who the most dominating nation on ice is, our boys delivered yet another resounding answer.
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Apparently, a number of people either (a) share my hatred of the Boston area or (b) think I have some writing talent, as my I Hate Boston piece that went up on Epic Friday is gaining some votes and links throughout the Interwebs.
It pales in comparison to the Return of Cash Considerations, but I'm pasty like that...
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Go rent The Kingdom. If you listen to one bit of movie advice from me ever, make it this... again, you'll thank me. Continue reading ...
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