Last night, Sarah had to go into work for a CPR course and on the way home, she stopped and picked up the copies of my book proposal that I had done at Staples.
While she was gone, I scoured the Internet looking for literary agents from all across North America who are accepting new authors in my particular genre - humor and relationship non-fiction.
I found a bunch and they are all getting submissions however they have specified later today. There also happened to be one agency who has their submission query built into an online form, so I went ahead and filled it out.
Here is where the picture that leads off this post comes into play.
I only know one way to be when it comes to my work and that is obnoxiously confident, probably verging on annoyingly cocky. This is just how I am when it comes to the things I do; I know I do them exceptionally well and I'm not going to tone myself down when promoting myself and my work.
That doesn't sit well with Sarah.
When I told her that I mentioned on this online submission query that my book is the type of book Oprah, Matt Lauer and the women from The View would love to have me on to discuss and used the "Do you have any questions about this form or process?" section to ask,"Didn't you wish there was someone there warning you about all the annoyances you were going to have to deal with, like family members with 102 ridiculous requests and rogue travel agents who ignored most of what you asked them to do?" she wasn't very impressed. Of course, I thought it was awesome...
Her exact quote was, "You need some of my self-doubt and I need some of your cockiness." While I agree that my wife needs some of elevated levels of self-confidence I have, there is no way in hell that I want to start being one of those people who doubts myself.
Does my over-confidence rub some people the wrong way? Probably, but this is me and it's not going to change. I know this project is outstanding and one that will appeal to a wide range of people. At no time will I lessen my enthusiasm and confidence in the words I have written and the vision that I have for this book to make someone a little more comfortable.
To quote Justin Timberlake - yes, I'm quoting Justin Timberlake - "I know that sounds cocky, but is it really cocky if you know that it's true?"
Answer: No.
I take what I do very seriously, even the silly things I do here from time to time, and being insanely confident about what I do is part of the package. Just because I haven't achieved worldwide acclaim as of yet doesn't mean I shouldn't believe it's possible...
I need to believe in my work and my skills to the point of being cocky because no one else will.
Now somebody get on eBay and find me that belt buckle!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I'd Say That Sums Me Up Nicely
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Good Day / Bad Day
Today should be a great day.
Later this evening, I'll be doing a phone interview live on the air of Mohawk College Radio, FM 101.5 in Hamilton, talking about my work at Bugs & Cranks and the Toronto Blue Jays. This is something brought to me, as opposed to something I petitioned and lobbied for like the Drunk Jays Fans podcast.
Instead, the highs of doing this interview are being stifled by self-doubt and wondering if I'll ever get an opportunity to take this passion I have for writing, communicating and making people think to the next level.
Today should be a great day, but it's not.
What do you do when you don't have the background most people look for in the field you want to pursue?
Writing came to me long after university did and has nothing to do with the Psychology degree with a Minor in Human Resource Management from Waterloo that sits in a storage facility with the rest of my mother's things.
Blogging - be it here or at Bugs or Epic - does not carry the same weight as "traditional media," although it very much should. Maybe that's the opinion of a blogger searching for a breakthrough, but maybe it's the truth as well. I don't know.
Magazines fall off the face of the Earth.
People who you're emailing with about opportunities just disappear and stop emailing.
Applications and submissions go unanswered.
Worst of all, I have no idea if I actually have a talent for this or not. I think I do, but what does that mean? Millions of people show up to American and Canadian Idol convinced they are the next Kelly Clarkson or Chris Daughtry when they clearly shouldn't have made the trip.
I have no idea where to go next.
I know what I want but I have no idea how to get there.
I don't even know where to start.
Man I hate days like this.
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After-Post Thoughts
Having re-read this piece, I can see how some might think it is a cry for acceptance - me wanting someone to rub my bottom and tell me I'm pretty as I would say.
It's not - This is just how I vent and get the frustrations out... and this is what is frustrating to me today.
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