Things I Learned This Week

1. Kenny Florian is a Good Dude and I Can Make Him Laugh
On very short notice Friday, I was given the opportunity to interview the #1 contender for the UFC Lightweight championship and after stuttering and stammering my way through the first five minutes, I asked him if he got into any trouble while training in Montreal with GSP.

He broke out laughing and I calmed right down. The rest of the interview was smooth sailing, including a few more bouts of laughter at my insightful / ridiculous line of questions and comments. Being able to make interviewees laugh is something very important in my line of work (I think), so this was a very good day.

2. Everything Evens Out
Remember that old Seinfeld episode - the one where Jerry says everything in his life always evens out and balance is maintained? As it turns out, the same applies to my careers. When one is in the pooper, the other is off the charts and vice versa.

Since you now know I interviewed one of the very best fighters on the face of the Earth this week, that should tell you where things are at with Kelsey's. If things keep going as they have been, I might actually punch a colleague or two pretty soon.

3. Kenny Florian Isn't My Only Interview
As mentioned Thursday, I've also secured Canadian Krzysztof Soszynski for sometime later this week. Additionally, I'm getting off my ass and trying to convince TSN to do the same and bring in someone (read: me!) as an MMA writer / columnist / expert so that "Canada's Sports Leader" is adequately covering the fastest growing sport in the world.

4. The NFL is a Joke
Not in total, but if they actually suspend Michael Vick for four more games, Commissioner Roger Goddell will have lost my respect. While that certainly won't make him sleep uneasy at night, the fact that the league is punishing Vick again is ridiculous and not just because Terrell Owens says so. Dude already missed an entire year... why does he deserve four more games?

5. I've Got a Little Redneck in Me
How else do you explain me chugging cans of ice cold Old Milwaukee this week? And it's not like someone gave it to me either... I bought it with my own money! Two words - hill... wait for it... wait for it... billy!

6. I Couldn't Be Amish
The power went out for 90 minutes here tonight and I was stuck wondering what to do with myself. No television, no computer, no stove to cook on; what do you expect me to do - talk to the wife? After barbecuing ourselves a pizza, we started to read. Thankfully, the power came back on shortly thereafter, preventing any unnecessary intelligence intake.

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Slow Motion Saturday

This is the full extent of what I want to do today.

For no real reason, I have exactly zero ambition. Writing this blog has taken longer than imaginable and it serves as the single greatest amount of energy I have expended since I got up.

Earlier this week, I actually made Sarah frustrated with me because of the amount of energy and enthusiasm I had for doing obnoxious household chores like the dishes or cleaning up from our Calgary trek.

Today, not so much and that doesn't bode well for completing the things that actually have to get done. Namely, groceries.

We have zero food, in the sense that we have two cans of The Chef, some tins of tuna, bread, eggs and peanut butter, but none of that appeals to either one of us in the least. It's our first day off together and I'd like to have a nice dinner.

Unfortunately, I also want to resume laying on the couch watching copious amounts of shows that I really don't care about.

Worst of all, I ordered pizza last night, so that throws that option out the window too.

What's a guy to do?

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Soundtrack of My Life

Song: Bombs Over Baghdad (B.O.B.)
Artists: Outkast
Album: Stankonia

I was a fan after "Player's Ball." I became a bigger fan with Southerplayalisticadillacmuzik and ATLiens. The haunting chorus from "Elevators" still runs through my mind from time to time:

Me and you.
Your Mama and your cousin too.
Rollin' down the strip on Vogues.
Comin up slammin' Cadillac doors.

Then 3000 and Big Boi dropped Aquemini and I was hooked. For once The Source got things right handing over 5 Mics. "Rosa Parks" and "Skew It on the Bar-B" are still two of my favourite tracks of all time. They had a constant fist fight for top spot in my Outkast rankings. Until this song dropped.

If "Faint" is my angry song, this is my energy song. It should be everyone's energy song. If you put this song on and don't immediately start moving, your significant other needs to dial 9-1-1 because in all likelihood you are dead. It's that damn good.

The jungle-inspired, up-tempo beat is all over the place. It's the music equivalent to the Phoenix Suns 7 Seconds or Less style of basketball. Come out of the gate hard and fast and don't stop until we're done. 3000 counting in the song even serves as the musical tip off.

Nestled into the frantic pace and sonic boom of music are two quick verses. While each member only runs through one verse each, both make sure to drop some gems in their bars:

In-slum-national, underground
Thunder pounds when I stomp the ground (Woo!)
Like a million elephants and silverback orangutans
You can't stop a train
Who want some? Don't come un-pre-pared
I'll be there, but when I leave there
Better be a household name
Weather man tellin' us it ain't gon' rain
So now we sittin' in a drop-top, soaking wet
In a silk suit, tryin' not to sweat
Hits somersaults without the net
But this'll be the year that we won't forget
- Andre 3000, Verse 1

Make a business for yourself, boy, set some goals
Make a fat diamond out of dusty coal
Record number four, but we on the road
Hold up, slow up, stop, control
Like Janet, Planets, Stankonia is on ya
A movin' like Floyd commin' straight to Florida
Lock all your windows then block the corridors
Pullin' off on belt 'cause a whippings in order
I like a three piece fish before I cut your daughter
Yo quiero Taco Bell, then I hit the border
Pity PAT rappers tryin' to get the five
I'm a microphone fiend tryin' to stay alive
When you come to ATL boi you better not hide
cause the Dungeon Family gon' ride, hah!
- Big Boi, Verse 2

Big Boi's verse is one of my favourites of all time. Dropping the Janet Jackson reference, "pulling off the belt cause a whippings in order," and the "Yo quiero Taco Bell" all in the span of one verse? Bonkers.

What I love most about this track though is that the masses missed it. Single #2 from this album was "Ms. Jackson" and that one put Outkast on the Mainstream Map. From then on out the got the love they have deserved from the starting blocks. Speakerboxxx/The Love Below followed, as did a very well earned Grammy.

Acting has become an interest to both Big and Dre over the years and it might not be able to be called a secondary interest any longer. Both are focused on their craft and doing good work. Okay, Dre is doing good work; Big made Who's Your Caddy?

Break up rumours follow wherever Outkast goes and never seem to go away, despite how hard Big Boi always tries to convince everyone that they're baseless. I don't know when it's going to happen. What I do know is that it will be a sad day for music. Thankfully, this song is sure to remind me of the greatness of Outkast for years to come.

Power Music. Electric Revival.

That's what the choir is chanting... I thought you would want to know.

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