Starting with this post, I'm getting my ducks in a row and hammering out as much writing and work from this computer as possible on a daily basis, because this is what makes me happy (aside from Sarah, puppies, babies, great movies, better books and sushi) and I'm sick of being miserable.
That being said, we're doing some cleansing today.
Warning: I'm getting real serious and personal here, so if that's not your bag... vamoose!
Five Worst Days of My Life
5. Kicked Out of University - May 1999
You think telling your parents you failed a course is hard? Try telling them the school they're paying good money to send you to has kicked you out entirely. Fuck me did this day suck. I managed to drink and party my way to a low enough average that the school didn't even want my money... and then I had to fess up to it to the 'rents. The old man told me I should just get a job in one of the Hamilton steel factories because that was all I would amount to anyway. Faye told me to stay home, go to Mac and get coddled. I moved back to Waterloo in September, worked for four months then rattled off sixteen straight months of school with a 71% average to graduate in June 2001.
4. Grandma Kyte's Funeral - November 2005
Bad for so many reasons, first of which is having to say goodbye to someone who was very, very important to me. My Grandma was crazy - she drank, she smoked non-filtered cigarettes by the truckload, she cursed more than I do. She was the best and I loved her dearly. This day gets extra awkward points for being a Kyte Family Function, meaning the extendeds whom I hadn't seen or spoken to in some time. Oh right, there was also some real nice Phil Time too.
3. The Night Before My Uncle Jack's Funeral - January 2004
That night, I decided to have a sit down with the old man after around a year of not speaking with him, wanting to get everything settled and start building something new. My cousins were never going to be able to speak to their father again and I didn't talk to mine by choice and that was ridiculous to me. So I tried... and failed... miserably. When conversations end with the one person (my old man) hollering at the top of his lungs (in public too) for the other person (me) to "Go Fuck Yourself," it's not really a very good evening. I've said seven words to him since.
2. Two Sunday's Ago - March 9, 2008
My brother ended a conversation with me in the same manner as my old man did, telling me to "Go Fuck Myself" and the worst part of all? He sounded just like the old man always did - He's right, you're wrong and if you can't see that, why bother with you? I got one brother and I don't want to lose him the way I have lost my old man...
1. Divorce Announcement - November 1999
See, I contend that it sucks more at age 21 than it does at age 6, because at 21, you know what all the problems they're talking about are. When you're younger, you can't comprehend these things and eventually it just becomes the way things have "always" been. Learning there was a whole lot of lying going on throughout your formative years really sucks balls. At least, to me it does.
* * * * * * * * * *
"Do it now 'cause tomorrow ain't promised today"
- Christopher Brian Bridges... Stand Up!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The Rundown: I've Had A Bad Day or Two
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Dishonour Roll: Phil Kyte
This one is sort of long over due, but I just never wanted to tell you about it because I didn't want to be that person that just blurts out all their personal crap at the start of a relationship and makes the other person freak out. Yes, what we have here is a relationship. And yes, I got some demons just like everyone else.
Unlike previous Inductees, I know this one. At least, I used to.
I haven't spoken with my old man in over two years. In fact, we've spoken once in the last five years and that was at his mother's funeral a couple Novembers ago when I bombed into Cornwall for an afternoon to pay my respects. That's just how it is now.
Long story short, my old man spent the duration of his marriage to my mom cheating on her. There were stretches where he was a good boy and didn't stray, but for the most part, given the opportunity, he would make the wrong decision. I only learned all this in 1999 when Faye finally got tired of all the bullshit and filed for divorce.
After they split, I toughed it out and stayed in his life as best I could, coming home for visits, going golfing, staying at his place, but he just wasn't happy with his situation and moved back to his family home in Cornwall where at least he would have his brothers and sister around as support. He took up with some woman, but that didn't last long and after one final shouting match in a bar when I was home for my Uncle Jack's funeral, ties were severed.
Phil Kyte could have been so much more than he is today. He was smart, charming, witty and well-liked, but he didn't like himself and has some serious issues that he never wanted to deal with properly. Now I have no idea where he is or what he is up to. He will never meet his granddaughter Emily Grace, and he has missed out on the better part of the last five years of my life. That's part of the reason I intend to make my leap into literary stardom on the back of our story... because he could have been a real part of it had he wanted to be, but that, like everything else in life, was too hard for him.
The reason I am telling you this, and featuring him in the Dishonour Roll, was my mentioning of writing a book yesterday as one of my resolutions. The book is about him. Actually, the book is about my relationship with him and the situation as it has now become. It was originally titled "Superman is Dead" but I figured Our Lady Peace would sue me for using the name of one of their songs as the title of my book. Perhaps DC Comics would have been a little mad too...
A long time coming and probably the most fitting of all thus far.
Welcome to the Dishonour Roll Phil... wherever you are.
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