The Rundown: Premier Post-Seasons

As of late, the normally normal folks on ESPN's sports talk shows have been saying some pretty stupid things, leading to some very frustrated rants here on iBlog.

Two days ago it was Kornheiser calling Barry Melrose the "face of hockey," while yesterday saw Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times call the NBA Playoffs the "best postseason of them all."

What?

How many times has Hayden Panettiere licked your trophy, Plaschke?

Top 5 Sports Post-Seasons

5. NCAA March Madness
I know some of you are going to call me out on this one, but follow me for a minute. The first week is the best four day stretch of one sport in the history of sports. Those opening two rounds are awesome, but then the lull kicks in. We have to wait for games. Things get over-analyzed. Jay Bilas says way too much. By the time the whole thing ends it's already April.

4. NFL Playoffs
While there is a week between games, there is always a week between games, so that part is cool. Truthfully, this one lands here simply on the strength of the Super Bowl which is still arguably the single best sporting event around and has been living up to that hype pretty well recently.

3. NBA Playoffs
Having games to watch every night is nice, but here's the thing with hoops and do remember that I am a big basketball fan: half of the time only the final two minutes matter, while the other half of the time it's a blowout. Now, I love watching LeBron do his thing no matter what the point differential, but watching the Lakers clobber the Rockets last night was pointless. The game was done by halftime.

2. MLB World Series
Yes, baseball often comes down to the final couple innings too, but at least it doesn't take forty minutes to play two innings. And when it does, it's because something noteworthy is happening, not a string of timeouts. Besides, baseball trumps basketball on the final out versus final shot battle. The last out always leads to insanity, while the final shot can often be meaningless.

1. NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs
Anyone who doesn't recognize the Stanley Cup Playoffs as the best post-season in all of sports is both a liar and quite possibly suffering from brain damage. What is more entertaining than triple overtime? Besides quadruple overtime, nothing. Every game is a back and forth where neither team gives an inch. Yeah, the regular season is too long, but the playoffs make all of that waiting around worth it.

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How Does This Happen?

Real life isn't Beverly Hills 90210.

You shouldn't actually accidentally shoot yourself a la David Silver's best friend Scott Scanlan who managed to do so with a house full of major characters during that one season.

How do you accidentally shoot yourself anyway? Someone needs to explain this to me. I have my FAC - that little card that let's me purchase and keep firearms - and know all about safeties and trigger locks and keeping the clip empty and on and on and on...

So how in the fuck does Plaxico Burress shoot himself last night?

Who thinks it's a good idea to be sitting around on a Friday night fiddling with your gun, safety off, fully loaded?

Seriously...

Oh - did I mention this happened at a nightclub? What the fuck kind of nightclub is okay with letting their patrons - regardless of how famous - come into their establishments packing loaded weapons?

These are clearly not the kind of bars I've been to during my lifetime.

What makes it even crazier to me is that it's not like this is a totally freak occurence either. Shit like this happens on a semi-regular basis.

Former NHL'er Clint Malarchuck did the same thing a couple months back, though his seemed a little more sketchy than Plax's faux pas last night and rumour has it some guy came into the Cranbrook hospital recently having accidentally shot himself in the head... with a crossbow.

Honestly, I'm a little frightened to bring kids into the world, what with all the mouth breathers accidentally shooting themselves all over the place.

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