Billy Bob Thornton has officially gone totally fucking crazy and not in the drooling and babbling way. He's on the whole "serial killer with cold, calculated answers and cryptic stares" type shit that scares the bejesus out of me.
Mr. Slingblade was on the CBC show Q with Jian Ghomeshi and turned in a truly creepy performance. The appearance was to promote his band Boxmasters and apparently, BBT instructed the show's producers not to talk about his "other career," you know, the whole acting-directing-writing thing that made him famous in the first place.
So, Ghomeshi barely touches on it in the introduction, because really, "who the fuck are The Boxmasters and why would I care if I didn't know it's Bad Santa's band?" and Thornton proceeds to answer questions like a complete moron.
Eventually, they discuss his frustrations but it doesn't solve much of anything really. He leaves his bandmates to play an acoustic set for the show and the looks on their faces is priceless. You know they have to be weighing the benefits of having this jackass in the band every day.
"Well, we get some press and opportunities because we play with Billy Bob, but the guy is a total douchebag. What do we do?"
Here's what you do: find a new drummer and let The Astronaut Farmer go back to making shitty movies and getting divorced every two years.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Well, It's Finally Happened...
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The Rundown: Christmas Classics
There is no other time of year where I have to watch certain movies.
I don't have a list of Thanksgiving movies or Spring movies or any kind of close approximation to an Easter movie collection.
What I do have, like so many others, is a group of Christmas movies that make their way onto my TV at one point or another over the holidays.
Working at Blockbuster last Christmas confirmed for me that I am not alone; it also reaffirmed that I have far superior taste to many of the mouthbreathers out there who couldn't wait to get their hands on Deck the Halls or Christmas with The Kranks.
They needed a list like this.
All-Time Top Five Christmas Movies
5. A Christmas Story
God Bless TBS for their 24-hour A Christmas Story Marathon every Christmas Eve. I'll watch it at least once tonight...
4. Home Alone
Too bad Macaulay Culkin went right down the well-traveled road of the Child Star because he was so much fun in this movie. I remember going to see Home Alone in the theatre... twice. Fun and sweet and charming and cute and everything a Christmas Movie should be.
3. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
D'you know why I don't buy a real tree for Christmas or go cut one down myself? This movie; I'm scared a fucking squirrel is going to jump out at me and go all crazy inside my house. Christmas isn't Christmas without The Griswold's.
2. Bad Santa
Not exactly your typical holiday flick and that's why I love it so much. Lauren Graham is awesome. Tony Cox is awesome. The Fat Kid that loves sammiches is awesome. And Billy Bob Thornton is fucking perfect as a drunken redneck conman masquerading as Santa, probably because I'm certain that's exactly what he'd be doing if people stopped putting him in movies.
1. Elf
Will Ferrell has fallen off dramatically as of late, but Elf is still classic Christmas cinema. Yeah it gets all syrupy and schmaltzy at the end, but before that it's just plain old fun. I've watched it twice already this year and recite the "You Stink" speech to the dog about four times a day.
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