Attack of the Green-Eyed Monster and His Collection of Baseless Accusations

Unfortunately, the green-eyed monster I speak of is not the lovable Mike Wasowski from Monsters Inc. I'm speaking, of course, about jealousy.

There are some things I'm going to have to accept (and I truthfully already have) if I want to make it in the writing business. First and foremost is that not everyone is going to like my work. That one I came to grips with long ago.

The second is that there are always going to be jealous people out there. I'm not saying my work is worthy of jealousy - a collection of monkeys chained to typewriters could do just as good a job as me - but some people are haters and feel the need to piss in other people's Corn Flakes.

Such was my day yesterday.

As mentioned the other day, I was recently moved into the #1 position in the Bleacher Report MMA writer rankings, a position that holds less value, power and merit than being the pie eating champion at the local country fair; at least that guy gets a trophy... and pie.

While there is a certain intrinsic satisfaction and feeling like my efforts are being recognized, believe me when I tell you that I haven't let the ranking go to my head.

Honestly, how could I? It's a subjective ranking on an website, not a proclamation from the New York Post that I'm the greatest writer in the world.

Anyway, when I went to the site to post the day's article, there was a message in my mailbox. When I opened it up, the green-eyed monster jumped out, wielding a collection of baseless accusations as his weapons.

The quick and dirty version is this: the author felt compelled to tell me that he - a man who can't spell properly and is a big fan or piss-poor grammar - believes that I am a hack, a plagiarist, have a stupid name, cheated my way to the #1 ranking, am incapable of writing as much as I do and myriad other insults and allegations.

Did I mention that at no point in the three months that I've been on Bleacher Report had I said more than twelve words to this Gomer before receiving his love letter?

Like I said up front, I can take the not liking my work. even from someone who believes enough is spelled "enuf" and thinks it's "rediculis" that I write as much as I do.

What I refuse to accept are douchey morons who feel the need and desire to make baseless accusations about people - in this case me - then quickly remind me about Freedom of Speech.

After a long and drawn out day of nonsense, this guy was classy enough to offer up $10K for me to pick an arena or gym where he would meet me to prove that a martial art I trained in years ago (tae kwon do) is useless.

Seriously, this is the idiocy that follows me around.

I know I shouldn't let it get me worked up; Sarah and I actually talk about it every time something like this comes up, because I take it very personal and I shouldn't.

What can I say? I'm working on that part.

But there is something about people just randomly making statements and claims about another person that rubs me the wrong way. Not so much that this tool thinks I'm an 18-year-old rich kid with a stupid name and massive inheritance coming my way, but the general idea of things - the idea that you can just say whatever you want about someone without repercussions.

That's not how I live my life and maybe I'm thick for not understanding how others don't do the same.

Jealously and envy aren't my style, but I guess they're something I'm going to have to get used to, what with being a useless, plagiarizing hack and all.