Monday Night Raw

No, this isn't a post about wrestling and the WWE.

This is an uncensored vent session from the frustrated guy on the other side of the keyboard... consider yourself warned.

* * * * * * * *

As much as being unemployed sucks, being under-employed sucks more.

Starting tomorrow, I'm the newest member of the afternoon shift at Islands West Produce, picking orders in a freezer to be shipped all over the island.

It's an honest day's work for solid money... and there is nothing outside of the steady paycheck that has me interested in the least.

But there is nothing else out there and that is painful.

Me, my university degree and countless years of experience - both managerial and front line - can't get a job outside of the brother of a recent acquaintance helping me out because he knows I'm in a pinch.

There is no "office job" to magically go find as some people have pondered, and restaurants and bars are cutting staff, not hiring, since people aren't going out nearly as much any more.

Even the goddamn Brannigan's around the corner that has like 14 tables and was advertising as hiring hasn't called me back, that's how grim the situation is for me these days.

While I've finally got my foot in the door with a solid company in terms of my writing, the $20.83 per article I receive isn't quite enough to retire on. Not to mention the fact that until that first paycheck hits the bank, it's all just promises and they've been broken a time or two already in my writing career.

Brutal.

All I want is an opportunity to do what I'm clearly good at and earn a very modest living doing so, but that isn't happening.

Neither is the all-time backup plan of waiting tables and slinging drinks.

Neither is friggin' Blockbuster goddamn Video or anything else.

So I'm picking produce in the freezing cold and I'm none to happy about it.

FML.

Continue reading ...

Things I Learned This Week

1. Post #600

How insane is that?

This post marks the 600th time I've sat down to share my thoughts with you on something completely random and the fact that we've reached yet another landmark is crazy to me.

Not that I didn't think I could actually do it, but really, getting to 600 posts without having taken an kind of massive hiatus in the middle is impressive to me.

More impressive is that some of you have been reading since the first week. Words can't express how appreciative I am...

2. Big Day for Tim & Michelle

My brother-in-law and his girlfriend officially took possession of their house last Saturday (yes, I know that makes it a thing I learned last week...) and celebrated by getting engaged!

Congratulations!

Couldn't be happier - they're a great couple and quickly becoming two of our best friends, so getting to hit up their wedding sometime next year (or whenever) and having them relatively close by is outstanding.

3. No Smokes in 5 Weeks

I didn't want to say anything until I had passed the one month point, then I was too lazy to write last weekend, so now we're at Week 5 sans darts and I'm pretty damn proud of myself.

For the most part, it's been fairly easy; only a couple moments here and there where I've thought a smoke would be fantastic, but to be totally honest, I haven't really noticed.

No special gum, no silly patches and no conversations with my doctor. Just good old fashioned will power...

4. Funny People: Not Over Funny

Judd Apatow tried to make a funny and touching movie (at least that what it seems like) and kinda missed the boat on both.

There are some funny moments and some touching moments, but after 140 minutes of watching Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan hang out together, I was left thinking that they should have either went full-on funny or full-on touching, but not tried to do both.

The potential was there, but it seemed to all kind of miss the mark as a whole.

That being said, Apatow is a massive success and I'm douche who rights a blog that only 43 people read, so who am I to judge?

5. Everywhere We Go, Bad Waitresses Follow

Going out with Tim and Michelle must set off some kind of bad waitress beacon because each of the last couple times we've been out, the service has been brutal.

Between giving us our bill the minute we decided to take a pause from consuming mass quantities of booze to, you know, breath and last night's all-around useless waitress, we need to stick to staying in and getting sloshed.

Last night's server was a gem, kind enough to ask if we wanted beef on our nachos only to return 17 seconds later to double check that we said yes, which we didn't, then have the aforementioned unwanted and unserved beef show up on our bill.

Additionally, a vodka water with a lime apparently means vodka, water and a splash of bar lime with a lemon wedge.

Most traumatic of all? I can't get a job as a server to save my life right now...

6. But I Can Haul Produce!

That sounds like the career path of choice for right now, since it's the only career path being offered to me. Maybe it's the right way to go.

Full-time bartender at Kelsey's turned into mostly working as a server and not accumulating enough hours over the year to even qualify for Employment Insurance, so truly guaranteed eight-hour shifts five days a week will be a nice change of pace.

Besides, I won't bitch about having a better way to do everything like I always have working in restaurants and bars since I don't know the first thing about hauling produce.

7. I'm Now a Classic Radio Station Guy!

When I jump in the car now, I don't find the local pop station or the local rock station. I tune to Jack FM or a classic hits station that plays the stuff I grew up on...

How did this happen?

The stuff I grew up on is supposed to still be the cool stuff and what everyone is listening to. Flipping to the local pop station proves that is untrue, as my music doesn't involve computers digitally serving as every artists' voice like it does now.

Jay-Z is right: Death to Auto-Tune!

Continue reading ...

Soundtrack of My Life: Down With the King

Song: Down With the King
Artist: Run DMC
Album: Down With the King (1993)

The fact that it's taken so long to get to Joseph Simmons, Darryl McArthur and the late Jason Mizell is ridiculous, considering how constantly I rip on the current state of affair in hip hop and the lack of talent taking up residency sitting at the top of the charts.

While their legacy and importance in the music world becomes less known with every Reality TV show starring Rev. Run or his off-spring or one of their songs gets remixed into a dance track by Jason Nevins, the fact is that hip hop wouldn't be where it is without Run DMC.

Before mash-ups became fad-tastic and rap-rock like Limp Bizkit sold millions, these boys hooked up with Aerosmith for "Walk this Way," forcing themselves into the mainstream. The rest is history.

This song was chosen because it represents the last great track by a legendary group, as the trio's final album Crown Royal failed to produce a memorable hit. Additionally, it features great verses courtesy of Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth (two of my faves) and the song is still absolutely awesome more than 15 years later.

Sorry for being so late...

Rest in Peace JMJ

Continue reading ...

This Is Where I'm Going to End Up...

I'm not even joking right now... how sad is that?

In all likelihood, I will be taking myself out to every fast food joint in the neighborhood over the next couple of days and dropping off resumes, because it seems that despite a University degree, outstanding communication skills and a wealth of experience, I can't get a goddamn job.

Now, it certainly doesn't help that there is the square root of fuckall out there on the market right now, thanks to the miserable economy and the fact that there are more people than ever looking for jobs in the service industry as a result, but still...

D'you know I applied back to Blockbuster the other day?

Submitted a resume to be Assistant Manager of Off the Wall at the Mayfair Mall? It's a goddamn 'tweens clothing store... that's how desperate I am right about now.

What makes it all the better is that you and I both know what I should be doing with my life - writing - but there ain't nobody hiring in that industry either.

Sure there are lots of places willing to give me exposure and a couple of bucks here and there, but for the most part, the money isn't there and exposure doesn't pay the bills.

Better still are the people who simply won't return your emails.

I'm not talking about companies or business that I've riffled off unsolicited emails to; I'm talking about the friend of a friend who works for a local newspaper who said, "Sure, have your friend email me, no problem," only to refuse to email me back answering any of my questions.

Why say yes in the first place?

Honestly, this blows.

If you're reading this and you know of a job opening anywhere in Victoria, British Columbia, let me know.

Doesn't matter what it is any more... I'm interested.

Continue reading ...

Missing: My Wedding Ring (Updated)

Sadly, there is no reward because I'm broke and unemployed, but the positive is that if it's found, you'll still get to enjoy my witty banter here on iBlog.

If not, there is a distinct possibility that Sarah kills me.

I knew I should have followed my man Ty's lead and put it on a necklace that I never take off. Although, I don't wear a necklace and if I did, I'd probably take it off every day and still end up losing the damn ring...

Took it off to do the dishes last night - I'm domestic like that - and haven't seen it since. Could have sworn I put it in my back pocket before I plunged my hands into the soapy depths of the sink, but apparently not as my ring is nowhere to be found.

Time to turn this place upside down and see if we can't avert disaster - or at least postpone it until Sarah gets around to reading this post later tonight... damn supportive wife having iBlog as her homepage!

Check back later for updates... and wish me luck.

Update - 8:48 a.m.

After an exhaustive twelve-minute search, the crisis was averted.

In addition to discovering my ring in the cushions of the couch, I also found three pretzels, two Skittles and an questionable peanut that I fed to the dog.

Nothing like getting the old heart rate pumping to start the day!

Continue reading ...