Soundtrack of My Life

Song: SexyBack
Artist: Justin Timberlake
Album: FutureSex / LoveSounds (2006)

Anyone who says this song isn't infectious and original is a liar. Period. End of sentence.

Forget all your preconceived notions about former boy band members, channeling Michael Jackson (not literally) and all the bullshit people spew about liking a cat like JT. The truth is, you should like JT and this song and this album.

FutureSex is one of my All-Time Favourite Albums and that's saying a lot because not very many artists put out worthy albums anymore. Justin did and its dynamic lead single was all the reason I needed to cop the album and keep on it heavy rotation to this very day.

What I love about this song is that when it first came out, people were totally divided on it and the majority were in the "What the hell is this?" Camp. Obviously, I was on the other side of the room, dancing my ass off knowing full well that "SexyBack" was going to end up being more than just a song.

Of course, I was right. Actually, I have to give credit where credit is due: Erica Sandy hooked me up to this track for the first time. She was my DJ at Na-Na's on Friday nights and spent her non-working hours scouring the Internet for the freshest music around. The instant this dropped, she had it and was playing it at Na-Na's to an empty dancefloor while she and I rocked out in the booth. So Erica was right and I tagged along on her very good call.

Anyway..

What has always gotten me about this song is that it was different from everything else at the time. Synthesizers hadn't made a comeback. Timbaland wasn't the producer of 2/3 of the songs on the radio and some people questioned whether the growing-up Justin that debuted with Justified could turn into Grown Man Justin and deliver something beyond bubblegum pop and thinly veiled Britney bashing.

"SexyBack" answered that in spades, as the song became more than a song; it became a fashion statement, an all-too-often-used turn of phrase and ushered in the era of Justin Timberlake, Megastar.

There are no razor sharp lyrics to speak of when it comes to this song - though I do thoroughly enjoy the line "Them other fuckers don't know how to act." YEAH!

For me, this song is about attitude and atmosphere. You can't deny that even today, as we're rapidly closing in on two years since it's release, this song still gets it done in the club and in your car and you develop a bit of a swagger whenever you hear it. At least I do.

Go White Boy Go!

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The Rundown: Beyond A Bad Idea

So, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are dating again. How cute?

There is even talk that Kate wants to get a place with "The Butterscotch Stallion" in New York. Can't blame her on that one - rent is a bitch!

But really, am I the only one who sees this a horrible, horrible idea? I'm no psychic but I can tell you right now that this ends badly. Not Owen back in the hospital because he's tried to kill himself again badly, but badly enough that someone needs to slap the two of them upside the head for thinking this could work out.

She's going in undoubtedly loaded with guilt - now that she's done humping the likes of Dax Sheppard and Owen isn't loco anymore - and wants to make the relationship work, but trust me, doing things because you're feeling guilty isn't a good starting point.

As for him, he gets what he has wanted all along. He wanted her when she was married to Jesus Impersonator Chris Robinson, he wanted her when they were together initially and he wanted her when she broke things off the first time. How is rewarding the guy with his track record and some serious dependency issues a good idea?

But this is Hollywood, man. These people are celebrities. This type of bad idea is a daily occurrence. Someone in Hollywood is having a horrible idea right now. There is nothing we can do to stop it. Or is there?

Top Five Bad Celebrity Ideas

5. "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days 2: Fool's Gold"
Just because a pairing catches lightning in a bottle once doesn't mean that it's sure to happen every time you put them opposite each other on the screen. And no, I didn't intentionally use Kate Hudson here, it's just the most recent example of Hollywood stupidity that came to mind.

4. Madonna's New Album... Produced By Timbaland
Listen, I'm a huge fan of Tim Mosley - have been from the jump with Aaliyah's second album - but his teaming up with JT and making the best album of the last five years (I said it!) doesn't mean that he can revive your aging career. Madge was great and is an icon. That being said, she needs to make like Ric Flair and hang'em up. Retire to the English countryside and work on her not failing marriage while raising her kids. No one needs a woman who turns 50 in the summer prancing around in a unitard trying to be hip. Think I'm being overly cruel to The Material Girl? Go back and listen to her rapping on American Life and get back to me, m'kay...

3. Katie Holmes' Haircut
Unless she is trying to look more like her husband, the short bob thing she has going on is absolutely awful. Yeah, I'm being a catty bitch today, I know. It's just one of those days...

2. A New Kids On The Block Reunion
A couple thoughts on this:
a) Making your first appearance together in years on the Today Show: Your former fans are all at work. Their mothers and grandmothers will be glad to TiVo the segment for them though.
b) At what point do you have to stop using the word kids in your name? I know they tried to grow up and switch to NKOTB, but that K still stands for kids. Seriously... you're all pushing 40!
c) No one really cares, so why bother... or are you all broke?

1. Being Dane Cook
It's been some time since I kicked the dumb bastard in the balls, so why not fire off another round of crotch shots today, seeing as a pair of Boston area DJ's have named Dumb Fuck Chuck the "Unfunniest Comic" on the face of the Earth? D'you know what makes it all okay though? Knowing that in a year or two, the rest of the world will catch on and Dane Cook will be on Surreal Life or some show full of washed up has-beens, longing for the days when frat boys and ditzy blonds thought he was funny.

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