Why I Do What I Do

As your notification button on Facebook can attest, I've been pounding the keys a great deal lately and a few people have commented on how impressed they are with the dedication and drive I seem to be showing towards my craft.

I certainly appreciate the comments - we all know I love attention - but there is a much simply truth to why I do what I do every day.

Fear.


I don't want to be the guy who never chased his dreams. When I get old, I don't want to have to tell my kids about the tattoo on my wrist - the one that says "Freelance" - using the words, "I wanted to be a writer," only to have them respond, "But Daddy, you're a used car salesmen?"

There are too many people that I know who go through life hating their jobs and hating where they are and I can't be one of those people. At least not yet. Not without going balls to the wall with this writing thing for the next couple years, before those perplexed children above come along and I get into my mid-30s and realize I've been chasing the dream for far too long without results.

So I hammer away. I pepper your inbox with new blog posts from both sites, publish links of all the articles I've dropped on MMA sites and become friends with everyone I can on Facebook who may have some small way to help me get my foot in the door somewhere. And I write the book.

My friend and pseudo-editor Smitty said to me today that I'm one of the only people he knows who chases his dreams of writing with such vigor. He didn't use those exact words, but you know what I mean.

The real truth is that I'm tired.

I'm tired of talking about my ideas and my dreams.

I'm tired of working shitty jobs that don't pay anything.

I'm tired of writing for sites that don't pay me and putting in work that goes unnoticed.

Most of all, I'm tired of being afraid that all this is never going to amount to anything of consequence and have been a big waste of ten years.

So I write.

I write every day and I write with a renewed motivation and inspiration, in hopes of making a better life for me, my wife and those confused children that will certainly come along one of these days.

And for everyone who laughs when I pepper your inboxes and add "friends" I don't even truly know: check out Keyboard Kimura on Friday when I roll out my interview with light heavyweight prospect Cody "Donnybrook" Donovan...

He's one of those "friends" I just happened to make on The Shameless Self-Promotion Tour and now he's also my first official Mixed Martial Arts interview.

Chase your dreams while you can kids ...

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Time to Start a New Addiction

I've always known that The Wire was arguably the best show on television.

I've known this for three reasons:
(1) I've seen a couple dozen episodes myself and loved them
(2) my man Smitty swears by the show and Smitty is one of the most intelligent people I know
(3) HBO does gritty drama better than anyone

After months of deliberation, a couple good nights of tips from Montana's and an afternoon stop at Best Buy, I begin my foray into the Cops and Robbers world of Baltimore one episode at a time starting the minute I finish typing this piece.

Let me apologize right now for all the pieces about how awesome The Wire is or referencing characters that only me, Smitty and the people smart enough to have enjoyed this show during it's five year run will understand.

Time to go kick back, relax and get hooked.

B-More here I come...

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The Joys & Pains of Being a Writer

This writing thing isn't as easy as it looks.

I know what you're thinking - if a half-wit like me can make a go of it, a set of trained chimps hammering on a bunch of typewriters should be able to churn out something mildly entertaining in no time. Sadly, no one has gotten that to work for them as of yet, so I still come off looking somewhat talented.

Anyway...

Yesterday was one of those good day / bad day dichotomies that occasionally pop up in my writing life where a whole truckload of things go really well, but one thing goes piss-poor and spoils it all. Ironically, it's that the one thing didn't go at all that put a damper on an otherwise outstanding afternoon.

First of all, a day without Blockbuster is automatically great. Nothing personal to those of you from The Block who happened to work yesterday, but I love my time away from there more than almost everything in life. I'm sure you all understand.

Second, I smashed out two posts yesterday - the soundtrack piece below and a little fun piece about an idiot on the San Diego Chargers who should have kept his mouth shut over at Epic Carnival. Any time I can manage to actually put together two well received pieces in one day is pretty sweet.

Adding to the sweetness, I did an interview with a guy I went you university with who is trying to change the world one t-shirt at a time.

His name is Jeff Woodrow and he runs his own t-shirt company. I'm not going to go into great detail - (1) so you'll buy the issue of Passion a couple months from now that features the interview and (2) because I want you all to go to his site and find out about it for yourself. As with most things here, you'll thank me for doing so...

Long story short, I hadn't talked to Woody in a long time and it was wicked to reconnect and talk to someone of like mind who has given up everything to chase his dreams and try to make a difference.

But of course, since everything was going so wonderfully smooth and I was in such a great mood, something had to come up and ruin it. As I said before, it's actually that it didn't come up that made me mad.

Yesterday marked a full month since I hurriedly put the finishing touches on my next article for Passion, a feature (2000 words!) on Celebrity Comebacks for the January/February edition. This is the piece that I had to put together and submit while we were home on vacation, you know, when I was supposed to be relaxing and enjoying my time off.

So, d'you know how many emails and pieces of correspondence I have gotten since being told I needed to have the piece in pre-Christmas as the next issue was going to be put together before New Years? I'm pretty sure you can make a good guess...

ZERO

As my man Smitty said to me back last month when I bitched to him about the suddenly sprung deadline, it is quite amazing how someone or a collection of someones needs a month or more to layout my words. I know it is a much harder task than I actually think it is, but here's the rub:

I haven't even got back a "Article looks great, here are the corrections / edits we need you to make" email as of yet. Either I wrote a perfect article (Not effing Likely) or we're still not at the editing stage which makes me wonder why the hell I needed to get that piece in so goddamn early in the first place?! I could have spent another week easy doing more in-depth research than I did and would have had an even better article. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's great and you're going to love it, but I know it could have been even better.

ARGH!

The one silver lining to all this is that the one email I have gotten from Passion Magazine in the last month was a request for a photo and professional bio for the next issue's Contributors section.

That's right - a picture of me and my mohawk all up in the next issue - plus a shout out to B&C and a mention of a little blog project too...

I'm done whining... thanks for listening.

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