My Thumb is All Jacked Up

Though that isn't actually me in the picture, it very much could be within the next day or two.

My thumb is severely jacked up thanks to a shitty knife and an unripe avocado.

I know there are going to be some people out there who advocate removing an avocado seed by scooping it out with a spoon, and while that is certainly a viable method, it's not how I roll. I used the old "heel of the knife" routine.

Unfortunately, when you mix a rock solid stone with a crappy knife that surprising has a completely blunt and useless heel, shit like this happens.

Impact of dull knife onto cement stone sends knife sliding off stone and into Spencer's thumb. Massive amounts of blood follow.

I spent all day night yesterday with a maxi-pad wrapped around my thumb. What? Them fuckers are super absorbent... besides, I'm married to the only nurse who doesn't have a ridiculously overstocked first aid kit in the house.

You gotta use what you got, people.

Anyway, I took a look at the gash on my thumb - the same thumb that already has a great scar down the center of where my fingerprint would be from an arena accident when I was six - and it looks way worse than it feels.

I still don't know if that's a good thing or not; while the lack of intense pain is awesome, the amount of skin dying around the wound and disturbingly tender fatty tissue sticking out from it don't make me optimistic about having this thing dealt with through home remedies, even with the new supplies that mysteriously landed on my bathroom counter.

Nope, chances are this is going to be a trip to the doctor tomorrow afternoon, which is not only a great way to spend a Friday, but also a wonderful way for Tim & Michelle (brother-in-law and his GF) to kickoff their vacation.

"Hey guys! How was the flight? So I jacked up my thumb a couple nights back and now I need to go to the doctors. Don't worry, they have good magazines."

Sounds like the start of something awesome to me...

Continue reading ...